N/A: I'm sorry I took so long (again). Having no internet really doesn't help me at all. But I will end this fic no matter how much it takes me. Please be patient with me *sobs*. When it's finished I will cry of happiness or embarrassment for taking so long. Again sorry for any mistakes blah blah blah.

I'm trying to make the chapters longer too (yay). I rewrote this chapter like… three times. But finally I like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Never will. What a shame.

x.x.x.x

"This is my flat." Shiro said as he unlocked the door and opened it. "It isn't big but it's comfortable."

It was fairly tidy and nice. There were boxes scattered across the living room. It was obvious that Shirosaki was still unpacking his things. Ichigo's eyes fell first in a picture lying flat on the living room's table. Picking it up carefully, he stared at it. The photo showed two boys, one was Shiro and the other was a taller guy with blue hair. And Ichigo had thought his hair had a strange shade of colour!

"That's my stepbrother" The pale teen explained as he took the picture gently from Ichigo's hands to put it face-down again where it was. "We lived at the same orphanage when we were kids and later we were adopted by the same family."

Ichigo could distinguish the sadness in Shiro's voice. He stared at the portrait until Ogichi called out to him from the corridor. Shiro gave him a long sleeved shirt and a pair of pyjama pants.

"Ya' can take a shower here" He opened the door next to him showing the small bathroom. "I'll be preparin' dinner meanwhile." He closed the door, leaving Ichigo alone with his intimacy. "I hope ya' don't take as long as my cousin!" Shiro continued talking as he walked away. Then he remembered he forgot to borrow Ichigo a towel and went back to his bedroom to take one. "Damn, she usually spent almost an hour… only showerin'!"

Ichigo chuckled as he listened how Shiro protested about his cousin and how much time she spent doing… Well, everything. It seemed the woman spent quite a lot of time in her. Taking off his scarf and shirt he then remembered the reason why he was wearing a long-sleeved one under the school uniform in first place. If he had worn more bandages, he would have resembled a mummy. The ones covering his wrists were tinted red with dry blood and were the firsts to be taken off. The oranget inspected the damage and sighed almost in relief when he noted the cuts had safely closed. No infection. Ichigo rubbed the left one with his other hand and hissed. Why did he keep doing this? Taking the rest of the bandages off as he looked at himself in the mirror, he saw all the sickening purple, and some with a greenish colour, bruises that were almost everywhere in his body. As he watched himself he felt like lying down and crying. Was he damned to feel this miserable the rest of his life?

"Hey! I forgot to give you a towel…!" The door opened out of a sudden as Shiro waved the towel in his hand. Everything seemed to stop between the two of them the moment Shiro laid his eyes on the other's body. Shirosaki stared at Ichigo with wide eyes and so did Ichigo too. "Ichigo what…"

Ichigo tried to hide himself by turning around. But even his back was scattered with bruises and wounds. He hadn't expected Shiro to see him in that state. It was way too soon to give explanations.

Shiro let the towel fall down to the floor with a soft thud before rushing to the other teen and grabbing him by the arm. His wrists were full of cuts; there wasn't a patch of skin that wasn't scarred. The rest of his body was covered with bruises and wounds. Half of them were old, the other half were fresh new. Golden eyes stared at this with horror. Who was doing this to Ichigo? Before he could even ask him, Ichigo snatched his arm away and quickly grabbing his shirt, he ran past Shiro.

"Wait, Ichigo!" Turning around, Shiro tried to stop Ichigo from running away but before he could catch him, the front door of his flat was slammed close in front of him. Golden eyes stared blankly at the closed door, his mind racing. Should he go after him? His head turned to his right and saw the portrait laying face-down on the table. Picking it up for the second time that day, he let out a heavy sigh. "Why am I so worried about him?"

x.x.x.x

Beep beep beep beep

She turned over and slapped at the alarm clock until it stopped blaring. She closed her eyes again before finally gathering the energy to stand up. She yawned and stretched her arms before her violet eyes were fixated on the body sleeping on the futon. A sad smile appeared on her face as she crouched down and shook the boy's shoulder.

"It's time to wake up. We got school."

Caramel coloured eyes fluttered open and stared blankly at the ceiling before focusing on her.

"I don't know what happened last night but you better move your ass. I don't want to be late." She snickered before disappearing from his sight to go shower.

He got up and got dressed with an old uniform his friend gave him. She said it was her brother's from several years ago but it would have to do. He couldn't go to school without the uniform. They would most definitely call his dad. He didn't want that. He tried to brush his orange hair with his fingers but it was as spiky as always. Sighing in defeat, he dropped his arms to his sides. Suddenly, his phone went off, startling him. It was a text.

I'm sorry bout what happened yesterday. I just wanna help u.

Shiro.

Ichigo stared at the message, his hold on the phone tightening. Help him why? What was the point? Was he worth saving? Should he answer the text?

Ichigo: I was scared. Sorry.

Shiro: Hey u answered. Comin to school?

Ichigo: In a bit.

The orange haired flipped his phone shut and waited for Rukia to finish preparing herself. Last night he was too scared to return to Shiro or home. So he turned to the only person he knew that wouldn't ask questions. They had been friends since they were four but since Ichigo stopped talking they started getting distanced. Maybe it was his fault. Ichigo had only wanted to prevent them from worrying too much over him but in the end, he ended isolating himself.

Everyone was right. He was disgusting and deserved everything that happened to him. If he hadn't distracted his mom when she was driving… When the car crashed he crawled to her and there was just so much blood. He still remembered how her eyes turned blank with sadness and regret. She knew she was going to die.

Ichigo was pulled out of his memories as Rukia yelled it was time to get going. He quickly noticed the wetness on his cheeks and wiped the tears away before sniffling and packing his bag.

x.x.x.x

Ichigo's POV

It was lunch time and I sat under my favourite tree like always when I felt like I needed some time alone. I had an apple for lunch but I didn't think I would eat it at that moment. I might not be able to eat at home so I thought it was better to keep it hidden in my room. When I had a little money I would buy food for me and it would last a while.

I ignored the hunger pains in my stomach and focused on the music sheet I was writing. I wanted to finish it before the anniversary of my mom's death. I write a new one every year. I feel like if I don't do it then she would never forgive me.

I erased furiously what I had already written. It wasn't good enough! I was about to shred the paper to pieces when a shadow moved in front of me.

Shiro.

Of course.

"Hey." He said breaking the silence. I waited for him to realize that I wasn't going to answer. Instead he sat down in front of me. "So… why are ya' here alone?"

I shrugged while rolling my eyes. Wasn't it obvious? No one wanted to talk to the silent freak. Not even my own friends. They would get tired eventually.

"Ya' left your guitar and your case at my flat."

I opened my mouth in a 'o' shape. I was so entranced in running away that I forgot about my guitar. The silence got awkward. How wouldn't it after what happened yesterday?

'Why are you talking to me?' I quickly wrote in the sheet for him to see.

"I told ya' already Ichigo." He replied as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I wanna get to know ya'."

I was just hoping he would leave soon. Butterflies were fluttering in my stomach from being so close to him. But Shiro knew. He had to get away from me or he would end hurt to.

"So why aren't ya' eating?" I didn't feel like writing a response so I just shrugged and ducked my head down. He was making me wish I could talk back again. Honestly I didn't think I would remember how to talk after all these years. What if me staying quiet so long messed up my vocal cords again? I felt sort of depressed at that thought for some strange reason.

"Are ya hungry? I can go get something fer ya'." He started to get up and I shook my head furiously and grabbed his wrist. I stared into his beautiful golden orbs as he looked me straight in the eye. It seemed like he was looking into my very soul.

We both jumped as my stomach decided it was the time to complain about the lack of food in it. He blinked and shook his head with a wide grin. Before I could protest he turned on his heels and stalked off. I wanted to talk to him but I haven't talked to anyone in years. What would I even say?

Shirosaki deserved at least one 'thank you' for everything he had done until now. Would he understand how much of an honour it would be? It was worth a try. I was still torn between wanting to get away from him and wanting him to help. Was I been selfish thinking about him wanting to actually help me?

I cleared my throat and tried to form words but it came out scratchy and unintelligible. Well maybe with practice I would be able to thank him with real words some day. Just maybe. I wasn't sure if it were my vocal cords or if it was mental. However, I wasn't ready. Not yet it seemed. I tried again though. I broke off in a coughing fit as my voice scratched my throat from being unused for so long. My body agreed with me. I wasn't ready to speak. I would practice talking until I could say 'thank you' without stuttering or coughing. Yes, that sounded good.

Shiro came back with the food and a water bottle. I gave him a weak smile as thanks as I started munching on the food. We sat the rest of lunch time with him asking me yes or no questions and me nodding or shaking my head. I was glad that he didn't ask anything too personal. They were simple things like: Do you like cats? Dogs? Have you ever gone to the beach?

I was actually having a good time when the bell signalled it was time for class. I walked to class like every other day with the exception that Shiro was walking with me. He sat down next to me in all the classes we had together.

When the final bell rang I had no choice but go back home. I was worried about how to avoid my father when I got home. I even forgot Shiro still had my guitar. I dragged my feet as I walked, not wanting to get there at all. I slowly opened the door to be received by my dad. He didn't look angry or drunk. Still, something was making me feel uneasy. I went directly to my room, trying not to think too much about it. I changed my clothes and I sat on my desk's chair. I was in the mood for drawing. I loved everything related to art. Drawing, panting, playing instruments, theatre… I was in the middle of drawing mom when I heard something crashing downstairs. I frowned. What was he doing now? Several minutes went by before I heard the dreaded footstep on the stairs.

My dad came into my room with an unopened bottle of some type of liquor. It was a big bottle too. I knew something was happening. He dropped it but it didn't shatter then he made his way towards me.

"It was yer fault, ya know? Ya' re the reason ma' wife's dead." He sneered at me. His eyes dropped to my drawing and I was too late to hide it from him. Anger flashed on his face. "Well, well, well look fer what ma' little boy came back." He snatched the paper from my hand and held it tauntingly in front of my eyes. "Ya' know what I should do to ya' fer this?" He asked as he slowly ripped the page into small pieces. I tried to evade the first punch. But I wasn't fast enough.

As the beating commenced I knew that it would be the worst in a while. He was more sober than other times and could calculate where to hit without it being visible plus he had better aim. When he got tired, he let me fell to the floor in a heap of agony. He walked out of the room to most likely get drunk again. And start the process all over.

I turned my head slightly to see the scraps of my drawing. I felt I could have a broken rib. The pain blended all together so it was hard to tell where the damage was. Then something else caught my eyes.

The bottle of liquor.

He left it.

A part of me screamed no but the other part wanted to know how it felt. Would the pain fade away? That was what I saw in movies and series. I crawled over to the bottle and opened it. Bringing the bottle up to my lips I tilted it up quickly taking a gulp of its contents.

I gagged as it burned its way down my throat. But I continued to drink it. When I was halfway through it all the pain felt like it was gone. I felt light and free. My mind felt foggy and I couldn't seem to feel my legs because I kept stumbling and failing every time I tried to stand up. When I managed to do it, I took another swig and I loved the burning sensation it left behind. I felt no pain. I felt no guilt. My mind was floating somewhere else. Free.

I silently laughed as, without knowing it, I stumbled down the stairs and walked out of the house. Dad didn't notice me. Oh well. Outside it was pouring rain. It was freezing cold. I heard myself laugh some more. It sounded shaky and even alien to my own ears. A headache made itself known and I winced at every throb that went through my head. I fell to the hard concrete and I was unable to get up again. I let out a mix between a laugh and a sob.

I was not… worth helping.

x.x.x.x

Shiro's POV

I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling after me and Ichigo parted at school. Once I made it back to my flat and finished homework I quickly changed into more comfortable clothes and stared at the guitar case leaning against my bedroom's wall. Maybe it could be an excuse to go give it back and see him. I put the case around my shoulders and decided I was going to give Ichigo his guitar back.

When I arrived at the Kurosaki's Clinic no one answered the door. It had started to rain but luckily I had brought an umbrella with me. I started walking back with a defeated sigh until I caught something on the sidewalk that was weird. I stared at it and my eyes went wide. Blood. Was anyone injured? Was it Ichigo? What if it was him? I tried to shake that thought off but it kept coming back. Whether it was his or not I should go check. The blood must have been recent because the rain hadn't cleaned it away yet. I followed its path to find shattered glass on the sidewalk a green liquid being drained by the rain. I clicked my tongue and frowned. Bah. It was only a poor drunk man or woman that maybe cut themselves with the bottle. With a heavy sigh, I continued walking down the sidewalk trying to spot the injured person. Turning the corner, I found someone lying on the road. I heard a car's engine and it was coming fast. If the driver didn't see the body in time, with the pavement being wet it would be definitely harder for them to stop the car. I dropped the umbrella and ran as fast as I could to grab the body and roll to the side before the car could ran over the two of us. I heard it honk as the driver shouted obscenities. I bitted my tongue to not yell back. I had to check over this person first. When I dragged them over the sidewalk to avoid more vehicles, I was stunned. It looked darker with rain soaking it but the hair colour… was a dark shade of orange. Who else in the city had such an outrageous hair colour? My heart sank when I recognised him. He was completely drenched and blood was starting to pool where he was lying. Quickly I fished my phone from my back pocket and called the only person that lived near and was somehow related to Ichigo.

When the blond arrived, he acted dead serious. Completely different from when I met him. Between the both of us, we carried the unconscious teen to the man's house. Once we were in, he shut the door and led me to a room. I laid Ichigo on the bed as Urahara rushed to get towels and his first-aid kit.

"What happened?" Urahara asked while carrying all he needed inside the room. I shook my head. I didn't know. I only found him like that on the road, passed out. Urahara peeled the teen off his clothes and we both gasped. I had seen him the day before and knew he had some injuries but he looked even worse if possible. We saw him wince when Urahara started drying him off even if he was doing it as gently as it was possible. The blonde gave me the other towel and I dried only my hair before letting the towel hang of my shoulder. As Kisuke patched and disinfected Ichigo's injuries, we could hear how harsh and uneven his breathing was. He was suffering, even when unconscious.

"Could you check his head for any injuries?" Urahara asked. I nodded and I gently inspected if there was any damage between bunches of orange hair. I found none and I was relieved but before I moved away I could smell something weird. It smelled like… alcohol? Had Ichigo been drinking? That wasn't possible, was it?

"Urahara-san…" I started saying, my tone sounding more nervous than I intended. "Is Ichigo into drinking?

The man arched an eyebrow and shook his head no. Not that he knew, he added. My chest tightened. Not this again… I thought. I didn't want to go through this with someone who was close to me again. I didn't know I felt so close to Ichigo until then, even if we knew very little of each other.

As Urahara kept checking on him, I gently grabbed Ichigo's right hand between my pale ones as I kneeled next to the bed. "Don't give up Ichigo… I won't let you fall farther into darkness."