A/N: Wow, sorry! I didn't expect to get this out so late! First I like to thank yaoiloverXD for helping me and beta this chapter. Then I haven't had internet for a while in my phone either and I've been busy so I couldn't get my hands in my laptop and WiFi connection but here I am now and here is the chapter!

Cookies go to PandaHat97 and ChiVall! Yes, our dear waiter is Chizuru! Why? I just love her tbh.

Ichigo's POV

To say that I was stunned by Shiro's proposal wouldn't be strong enough to describe my reaction. I masked my surprise well and tried to act as collected and calm as I could. Inside, however; my heart was doing back flips. I thought that at any given moment it would jump out of my throat and start dancing on the table. I had to refrain myself from making an expression of disgust as I imagined the scene very vividly. What was I thinking about? Someone had just asked me out! That had happened like… like never. Never! I was seventeen and I hadn't ever had a single date, not even with a girl. What I was supposed to do? Would real life dates be similar to the ones in the movies or it was completely different?

I wanted to rip my hair out as I was walking back home. Shirosaki said he had to go practice with Urahara so we parted when we got out from the café. I took my phone to look at the time. Half past seven, Dad said I had to be there before eight so I was good. The Kurosaki Clinic wasn't too far away from where I was at that moment. I sped up my walking just a little, wanting to get there sooner rather than later. Honestly, Isshin had been acting weird and it was making me fall into a false sense of security. I shook my head as I sighed. No, I couldn't be fooled. As soon as he drank again everything would be back to the same routine.

That was how it had to be, that was what I deserved.

I arrived home to see that our guests were already sitting in the living room. I recognized them; they were the same people that came once to take Yuzu and Karin away. My sisters are still staying at my uncle's and I didn't go with them because it would have been too much for my uncle to bear. He had already three kids to care about. I wonder why these people are here.

My dad asked me to sit by his side on the couch facing our guests sitting in front of us. One was a young man with short, dark brown hair and blue eyes. The other one was an old man around his forties with long, dark brown curly hair and blue eyes as well. Just looking at him gave one the impression he was very polite and calm. I wondered if they were related. I had never asked them.

"Long time no see Ichigo." I nodded as the man said this. If I wasn't wrong his name was Zangetsu. Weird name for a man but it fitted him. "How is high school treating you?"

I knew the man sitting next to Zangetsu knew sign language, so I gestured my answer and the young man smiled.

"Good, I see. Not much bullying?" I shrugged my shoulders. There was always the usual thug who would pick on me for my hair or for my muteness but I could handle them myself just fine. I may have been depressed but I'm not fucking weak. "How about friends? Have you made any new ones?"

This time I nodded. Yes, I made new a friend, who I had a ridiculous crush on, and he asked me on a date. A real date. I felt like I was going to fuck it up. I didn't know a single thing about dating. I prevented myself from groaning. It wasn't the time to be thinking about that.

"Looks like your social life is improving considerably." The young man called Tensa chuckled softly. I rolled my eyes. If he says so… "That's good. Everyone needs friends to lean on."

My frown deepened as I crossed my arms. Friends to lean on? Bullshit. I had managed to survive on my own for eight years. My thoughts just stopped there as I went over what I was thinking again. Survive? I looked up to see that both men were talking to my dad but I wasn't paying attention. The image of Shiro came to my mind and I couldn't help but sigh. He made my world feel less like I was fighting to survive and feel more like I was fighting to live. They were two completely different things. I had been so deprived from the later that I had completely forgotten how it felt to actually live. To go out with friends, to laugh, to do what I liked…

To fall in love.

"…You see he has depression issues but we are managing just fine." I caught up on the conversation only to hear that. If I could I would have screamed a loud 'Excuse me?' I mean, in which pinkie world is he living where we are 'managing just fine'? I wanted to snap at my dad so bad but I couldn't. I couldn't talk and it was tearing me apart for the eighth time in the span of two weeks.

"Are you taking any anti-depressants Ichigo?" Zangetsu asked. I shook my head no. I would never shallow those things and be like some happy zombie. I preferred to fight it on my own, thanks. Zangetsu sighed deeply and I knew he was somewhat mad at me because last time I was like that too. It had been two years since the last time he visited us. "Ichigo, do you know that such a prolonged time into depression can be very negative for your mental and physical health?" Of course I knew. I was mute, not stupid. "It has been two years and though I have to admit you are making some progress still isn't enough."

I snorted. What was he now? My psychologist? God I hate those. Zangetsu stared directly into my eyes and I shuddered. Now he was really mad, and even if his face didn't show it his eyes did.

"This isn't a game, Ichigo, we are talking about your future. Do you want to be like this for the rest of your life?" I shrugged my shoulders just to make him madder. It was so much fun to make someone as collected as Zangetsu get riled up. I felt another pair of eyes fall on me from the side. My dad was giving me that cold glare that was telling me I was in for a world trouble.

Great. Fucking fantastic.

"Ichigo," Said a calmer voice coming from Tensa. "We are genuinely worried about you. If you ever need help, you can call us." They both got up as Tensa handed me a business card with their number on it. "Your sisters are doing fine and it looks like this environment isn't as toxic anymore as it was before." I wish that was true. Just two weeks ago my dad was still beating me to a pulp. I would have never wanted my sisters to come back there. My dad was so volatile I didn't want to risk their security. "They may come back by the start of next year if this keeps on."

I was panicking inside at those words but I didn't show it. I just gave Tensa a forced soft smile as I said thanks with my hands.

"Please get better Ichigo. You too, Kurosaki-san. We are really sorry…" NO! I looked at Zangetsu with horror but he didn't see my expression. Don't remind him, don't remind him… Don't! "About your wife's loss. It's hard to cope with the death of the loved ones but life continues on." Too late. I started to back up towards the stairs. If I was fast enough, I could lock myself in my room just as they closed the door.

"Thank you Zangetsu-san." In that moment my dad's eyes were locked with mine and I knew I was screwed. I couldn't move or it would alert the other two.

Shit.

"Good night." That was the last thing they said before closing the door behind them.

Isshin was staring at me and I gulped. What was he doing to do? Would he hit me? Scold me? I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. He surprised me, however. He asked me to sit on the couch again. I silently did so with a nod of my head as he took a seat in front of me. He took a notebook and a pen and slid them my way. He wanted me to tell him something. That had never happened before. He had never wanted to know about me since I stopped talking. My stomach was churning and I felt my throat constricting. I was feeling so nervous that I thought I was going to throw up right there.

"So you have made new friends?" He asked and I was taken aback. That was it? I felt myself relaxing but only a bit. I nodded my head slowly. "That's good to know" He chuckled. I felt tears at the corner of my eyes. That man… that man who was sitting in front of me was the real Isshin. When mom died he disappeared to become the cold bastard he was but… "How are they?"

I opened the notebook and took the pen between my shaking fingers. I tried to still myself and write correctly but due to the shaking it looked a little messy. 'They are just one.' I wondered if I should write the next thing. I sighed. Maybe if I left the gender out it wouldn't be much trouble. ´We are going on a date next week.'

My dad's reaction completely threw me off. He jumped on me and hugged me with all his strength yelling something that sounded like 'I'm so proud of you my dear son'. I didn't know if I had heard it well because I was genuinely scared. That sudden change of behavior was making me feel really uneasy. He was proud of me? Since when? All I had been called through the last eight years had been whore, disgrace, and monster. I was starting to think that maybe a car actually ran over me and I was in a coma and all that was happening was a dream. However, it felt too real.

When did reality make this one hundred eighty twist?

"Have you ever dated before?" I shook my head. I didn't know how I was able to react. I was still shocked over the situation. "I knew it! Don't worry about it Ichigo. I'll help you! Tomorrow morning I'm going to buy some nice clothes for you! You will impress her for sure!" Her. Oh right. I decided not to tell him it was a guy who I was going to date. I didn't want to step into my dad's volatile behavior. I was too frightened already.

x.x.x.x

Shiro's POV

I put my hands into fists as I smacked the table with them noisily. I was so frustrated because learning sign language was getting more and more complicated as Urahara taught me more things. It was hard not to mix some words with others because the position of the hands was almost the same. One finger could change it all. It reminded me of kanji. If you messed up with one line, it could mean a whole different word. I groaned and slammed my head on the table while Urahara chuckled at my reaction.

"You aren't going to give up now, are you?" The shopkeeper smirked.

"Gimme five fucking minutes." I answered under my breath. I wasn't going to give up. Ever. I was doing it for Ichigo and nothing was going to stop me. Why I felt so passionate towards this mute kid was beyond me. I mean, yeah, he was attractive as hell even with those scars. He could not talk but for some reason I found him very interesting. Not to mention his love for arts. I had to ask him more about that…

"But you're doing great! You will soon be able to hold a normal conversation with him about mundane things. It's a start, right?" I groaned and lifted my head to frown at the man's smirk. He was having oh so much fun with these lessons. I was sure that learning to play the guitar was way much easier than sign language. God dammit all.

x.x.x.x

I arrived at my flat completely exhausted. Between school and Urahara's lessons my brain was giving up on me. I wouldn't lie if I said that in my way there, I was walking on autopilot. At least I would get some rest because the next day was Saturday. I let out a content sigh as I flopped down on my couch. I thought about watching a movie on TV but before I could even will myself to go get the remote, I dozed off.

x.x.x.x

I decided it would be good for me to go out for a walk. I like to do it from time to time to clear my mind. It relaxes me. I felt the night's cold breeze blow on my face and I shuddered but it didn't bother me. It was a peaceful night or, so I thought. The silence was broken by a deep loud laugh coming from a dark alley. It sent shivers down my spine because for some reason it sounded horribly familiar. I dared to look into the alley to see a group of people gathered in it. I couldn't see their faces in the dark and they didn't seem to notice my presence either.

"Oi newbie, ya' hafta try this one out." My eyes widened as I listened to this. It wasn't the sentence on itself, it was the voice. That fucking voice. "If ya' tell anyone 'bout this, consider yerself dead. Are we understood?" The guy chuckled mockingly. "But of course! What am I sayin'? Ya' can't fucking talk!"

I gulped down trying to make the lump in my throat disappear but it wouldn't work. I should have walked away. I wasn't supposed to be hearing that, no doubt those guys were drug dealers. I made the mistake of kicking a rock when I tried to take a step.

Shit, shit, shit. They heard me!

"HUH?!" The same guy as before turned around and walked out of the alley to confront me. He was taller than me, bright blue hair shinning under the streetlight. Blue eyes glared at me with murderous intent but he seemed to calm down a little bit seconds later. "It's you."

"Grimmjow."

"Shirosaki."

"Well, well, what brings my lil' brother here?" He grinned as he patted my head. I smacked his hand away growling.

"Don't touch me." The blue haired seemed mad at the rejection but it was soon replaced with his trademark grin.

"Haven't ya' missed yer big brother?" I crossed my arms over my chest and frowned deeply. What was he even playing at? He was the one who abandoned us to become… this. "Too bad tho. Ya' should stop pretendin' to be the good guy, Shi. Ya' know ya're one of us."

I took a step back as I shook my head furiously. "No! I left that life behind! Ya' won't make me go back into that shit Grimmjow!"

"It'd be a shame, don't cha think?" What was he talking about now? Maybe even Grimmjow himself didn't know. For all I knew he could be high on his ass at that moment. "If a certain strawberry discovers 'bout this past of yers."

Strawberry? Wait, he wouldn't mean…

"How do ya' know Ichigo?!" I yelled, unable to contain myself at that point.

Grimmjow chuckled again. He was getting on my nerves. "Oh? Don't ya' know? He's one of us."

"Liar!" It wasn't possible! Ichigo would never get into that type of thing… right?

I took another step back as my eyes opened impossibly wide when another guy came out from the alley. He had that characteristic orange hair I already knew so well. I heard Grimmjow laugh but it was muffled but my running thoughts. Why? Why would he do something like that?

WHY?!

I opened my eyes all of a sudden and found myself back at the darkness of my flat. I panted harshly and my ears were ringing. A nightmare. It had only been a nightmare. Grimmjow had disappeared two years ago and I was sure Ichigo was safe and sound. Still, I had the urge to text him just in case. I couldn't shake off the fear I felt. Drugs ruined my life twice… if it ever happened to Ichigo I wouldn't have been able to stand it. I shook my head trying to make those thoughts disappear. I was still lying on the couch and I stretched before taking out my phone which still was in my pants pocket. I bit my lip as I texted Ichigo with a simple 'good morning'. I wouldn't tell him about the nightmare because I didn't want to worry him. He had enough problems already and he definitely didn't need to deal with mine as well.

x.x.x.x

Ichigo's POV

I was half awake when I felt the sun rays on my face coming through the window. I was still too sleepy to open my eyes so I stayed there with them closed, resting just a little more. That until my door was suddenly kicked open and I instinctively brought my arms over my head as defense. I closed my eyes tightly but the beating never came. Instead I was regarded with a crushing hug.

"GOOD MORNIN', ICHIGO!" My eyes widened at the weird display of affection. He had always been like that back when mom was alive. Why was he back to his old self? Something happened? "Wake up my dear son! We need to go and buy those clothes for you! Come on! Up, up up!" I groaned as he was yelling really loud. Was it necessary to be so energetic at such an early hour? I couldn't say I had missed this part of his personality.

He jumped out of the bed and excitedly ran to the door holding his thumbs up. I arched an eyebrow towards him.

"I made breakfast! Don't be late or it will get cold!" I nodded and he closed the door.

I stared at the door for a long time wondering what all of that was about. My mind was flooded with childhood memories and I couldn't help but feel nostalgic. Maybe Tensa was right. Maybe we were starting to get better.

Just maybe.

x.x.x.x

We went shopping together and it felt too awkward. Somewhere deep inside I thought that I should be happy to be able to share a good day with dad. However, past memories prevented me from doing so. All I felt was fear of the unknown as my dad continued acting like he was the happiest man on Earth. He even commented more than once about how proud he was about me for having a date. It was praise I couldn't accept no matter how much I tried to. As I went into the changing room to try out the clothes my dad had picked for me, I couldn't avoid looking at myself in the full-body mirror. My arms and thighs were completely filled with white lined scars; the most recent ones were a slight pink. It had been one week since I stopped feeling the usual daily pain; either from beatings or me scarring my skin. I lifted my gaze to look at my face. My eyes were hidden behind long orange tresses, it was getting really long. I didn't remember the last time I had it cut. Still I could see how they didn't hold much emotion. I felt lost, as if something bad was going to happen and I didn't know how to confront it.

"You are just being paranoid Ichigo." I told myself as I started dressing with the selected clothes. "You are just feeling uneasy because dad is acting strange, that's all." I looked at myself again when I was already dressed and sighed. It was a plain white button shirt, black pants and a purple tie. I thought that maybe my dad still remembered which color was my favorite but it could be just a lucky shot. Either way, I liked it. It wasn't too elegant and at the same time it wasn't too formal, just something in between. I slid the curtain to the side and I saw dad leaning his back against the front wall. When he saw me he smirked.

"You look good my son!" He beamed. I forced a little smile back. "Do you like those?" I nodded. "Well then, get changed and then we'll go pay for it."

I undressed again and I was about to put on my clothes when I glanced at my reflection with a defeated look in my eyes. A thought crossed my mind as I felt suddenly ashamed of all the scars littering my body.

"What does Shiro see in me?"

As if hearing my thoughts, my phone ringed telling me that I had a new text message. I put my pants on and fished out my phone to open it. It was Shiro of course. It was a simple 'good morning'. I chuckled forgetting my previous thoughts. Shirosaki had that effect on me.

Ichigo: Good morning, Shiro. How've you been?

I put my shirt on and gathered the other clothes before getting out of the changing room and meeting my dad to give him the clothes I wanted him to buy. Then I received another text.

Shiro: Horrible night tbh. I fell asleep on the couch.

Ichigo: lol. U were that tired, huh?

Shiro: Yeah, Urahara is so strict when teachin.

Ichigo: Ikr. Music lessons with him were hell. I'm glad I don't need 'em anymore.

Shiro: Are u at home?

Ichigo: Nah. I'm buyin some clothes 4 our date *wink emoticon*

Shiro: Wow, so fast? There's still 1 week left ya know.

Ichigo: Ye, ye. But I didn't have any decent clothes and it's Saturday.

Shiro: That makes sense. Where r u? Wanna meet up?

Ichigo: I'm sorry Shi. I'm with my dad. I don't think it's a good idea. Maybe tomorrow, or we'll see each other at Monday, don't worry *sad emoticon*

Shiro: But that's more than 24h without u!

Ichigo: I know, be patient. If u r good I may have a surprise 4 u when the date day comes.

Shiro: What kind of surprise?

Ichigo: C'mon Shi. If I tell u then it'll not be a surprise anymore.

Shiro: Aw k. I forgot to ask u. Have Skype?

Ichigo: Ye. Gimme ur username and I'll add u when I get home.

Shiro: Sure.

I spent most of the shopping trip texting Shiro and my dad didn't mind. I think I heard him say something like 'young love is beautiful' or something like that. Seriously, what was up with him?