Sorry about the unbeta'ed chapters but I really want to finish this already. Once it's finished I will have the chapters checked, meanwhile bear with me! From one to two chapters to finish! Word Office stopped working out of a sudden when I was editing so maybe there may be some things out of place... Sorry about the mistakes guys.

P.S: This chapter ended being funny at some parts. Writing Ichigo in character makes me feel so good *moans* Ah yes, it's great.

It had been at least two months since my dad shot himself. It took me all that time to be brave enough to visit his grave. When I did, I felt no hate or anger. I was just… sad. I guess I understood he had been suffering a lot as well to some extent.

I left the white flowers in front of the tombstone and closed my eyes with my hands clasped together. I wished that whenever he had went he had been able to reunite with mom. I had already forgiven him long ago. Taking a deep breathe after what felt like hours I walked out from the graveyard. Outside of it there was someone waiting for me there. We had grown close those last two months and even more so when I was released from the hospital. His blue eyes gave me a sided glare before he separated himself from the wall he was leaning on.

Without saying a single word, Grimmjow accompanied me home. It's not that I'm still mute around him but I didn't feel like talking about visiting my dad's grave and he understood that. We parted once I was right in front of my door.

"Call me later?" Grimmjow asked nonchalantly.

"Sure."

I opened the door and noticed that it was unlocked. Oh so he is home. I smiled, happy by this. I dropped my keys on the kitchen's table, making the necessary noise for the other inhabitant in the house to hear. As I predicted, the young man entered the kitchen with a gentle smile on his face.

"Oh Ichigo, are you back already?" His blue eyes shined as brightly as his smile.

"Yes." I answered smiling slightly back at him.

"Would you ever answer with more than a monosyllable?"

"I'm getting there Tensa."

"Glad to hear that. The bath is ready." I nodded and headed towards the bathroom.

Zangetsu adopted me for the time being until I'm twenty one but because he is such a busy man, I'm under the care of Tensa. Normally they would irritate me but since I'm living with them I appreciate a lot their company.

I took a long relaxing bath, sighing contently when I felt the hot water relax my sore muscles. I stared at the white ceiling through the fogged up air. A lot had been happening lately. I had been slowly recovering my bond with my friends, slowly opening to them again as they accepted me back into the group. Even Renji was starting to get back to the way he was before. Then Zangetsu adopted me and brought me to this house. It was little bit larger than my previous house but I fitted in quite easily. Still I was puzzled as why would Zangetsu live in such a large house if he only lived with Tensa before I came in.

I sat up to take a washcloth and poured soap on it to clean myself. All the scars left by the past were almost invisible at this point. The most obvious ones were the cuts at the back of my neck and the white lines on my arms but even those were fading. It was relieve to not have them as reminder for any longer. Yes, I learned to think that they were reminder that I was strong enough to stop it. That wasn't entirely true though. I didn't do it all by myself. I let out a heavy sigh and continued cleaning myself. The results of weeks of work out were starting to show. Grimmjow at first suggested it'd be good for me and at the end developed in a routine. It felt good nevertheless. It made me felt more confident over myself, you know?

Once I finished with the bath I dried myself off and put on some pants before walking to the kitchen where Tensa was preparing dinner. Sometimes the thought of him being a good housewife would cross my mind and I had to hold in a chuckle. I picked my phone and dialled Grimmjow's number as I sat in one of the chairs.

"Hey Ichi, is everything better? I mean, ya' were quieter than normal."

"A relaxing bath fixed it." I nodded though he obviously couldn't see that.

"That's good ta hear. Up ta go ta the pool tomorrow after ya' know what?"

"Sure." We were in the middle of August already. It was quite hot to be working out or running. Hitting the pool sounded all the better. "Same hour as always?"

"Gotcha Berry. See ya' tomorrow."

"I told you to stop calling me that, you stupid overgrown cat!" I heard the beep signalling the end of the call and I frowned. The prick hanged up on me! I put the phone down with a scowl and I huffed. He liked to do that way too often…

"Grimmjow-san again?" Tensa chuckled sitting next to me once he had put the plates on the table.

"Yeah, he likes to rile me up. Best way to make me speak he says."

"Well he is not wrong." I rolled my eyes at his response. "Ichigo," there it went his serious tone. That meant business. "How is he?"

I kept staring cross-eyed at the plate presented in front of me and sighed. I knew who Tensa was talking about and I honestly didn't want to talk about it, not after I had visited my dad's grave. That was enough emotional pain for one day. I just took a bite of the food and I saw him shook his head from the corner of my eye. What did he expect me to say? There had been no changes in the last two months other than physical injuries being repaired.

I ate half of the food, not really being hungry that night and I excused myself to go to my room. I walked upstairs and locked the door after entering the bedroom. Zangetsu moved my bed and furniture from my house to his so I would find my room more comfortable and I did. It looked almost the same except the furniture's location and the closet. I crashed my bed with another heavy sigh. I felt completely drained of energy. I had my face against the pillow until I felt the lack of air and moved my head to the side with a sharp intake of breathe.

I could say that I was getting infinitely better with all that was happening but there was something that at the same time was rotting my soul slowly.

Shirosaki.

He hadn't wake up. I would visit him every single fucking day. Not missing even one. I didn't care if I had an important test or an important appointment. I would always be there every day by his side. When I started regaining my voice around more people, I sang to him. I couldn't bring my guitar with me to the hospital obviously so I deeply hoped my voice would reach him. Some day… some time. However, as time passed by I found myself losing hope. There is only a limited amount of time a person can be supported alive while in a coma. If he didn't show any sings of waking up in a close future they would have to cut out all the medical machinery. It was still Grimmjow's choice because he was the only family Shirosaki had left but he didn't want to prolong our suffering either. As long as we had hope…

I was always trying to thank both Zangetsu and Tensa for all they have done for me and Shirosaki as well. They were both working hard to pay the hospital bills.

"Why won't you wake up Shiro?" I sobbed weakly trying to hold the tears that were threatening to escape.

x.x.x.x

It was dark. So dark, it was hard to see my own hands in front of my face. I had been walking for a long time, following a distant yet familiar voice. I couldn't recall where I had heard it before. I couldn't remember anything at all for that matter. All I knew I was in this absolutely dark space with no blowing air, no ground and with no end to it. How I was walking on a solid surface was a mystery. The voice would be there only for a certain time but after what it seemed like days, I could pick up the exact span of time between one appearance and the next. So I would stop and wait, wait for the voice to come back and guide me out of this place.

"It's time." I said as I stood up. Any time soon the voice would be back. Lately the voice sounded more melodic, but it had still the same tone to it.

"Shiro?" I lifted my gaze up to nowhere as all I could see was black but somehow… The voice sounded much closer. It knew my name as well. It was the first time I had heard it so clear. "It's me again…"

"Uh… Who are ya'?" I tried asking. Obviously, my voice wouldn't reach out of this place.

"You know… It has been almost three months already." Three months since what? I asked myself. All I remembered was opening my eyes to see all dark… "Heh, I'm not a weakling anymore. Grimmjow has taught me well. Your brother sure can kick ass."

Grimmjow? How did the voice know my poor excuse of a brother? Was even that bastard alive? I rolled my eyes and frowned. I could not comprehend what they were talking about… Now that I heard it clearer, it was a male's voice. I was still sure I had heard it before and it was from someone really important, but who?

"Shiro, you really have to wake up." I shook my head, confused. Wake up? Was I dreaming? That would explain the dark space and all but… What about the voice? "I'm trying to delay it as much as I can but my heart can only take much pain before…" The voice was growing quieter. He sounded so sad, so desperate. "S-Summer vacation is over. You missed it, chalkface. I really wanted to spend it with you."

"Hey, don't call me chalkface whoever ya' are!" I growled angrily. How dare him! That was some nerve that guy had! But if he was calling me that, he must have been someone close to me. It didn't sound like Grimmjow at all. "But keep talking I may as well follow yer voice and get outta here."

And follow the voice I did. It got closer and closer until I felt it was right next to me… Then it suddenly disappeared. Fuck. I stared wide eyed in front of me. For the first time for such a long time I had found something in that dark isolated space. A mirror. I couldn't see my reflection on it, it was extremely weird.

"Must be a dream indeed…" I muttered at myself as I reached out to touch the crystal but before I could do it an image flashed on it.

"S….ro…." The voice again! Why was it so distant now? I thought I had run towards it! "Shi….!"

I stared back at the mirror and gasped when I saw someone at the other side. It wasn't me though he looked a lot like I did. His orange hair completely stood out in the dark and his brown eyes shined with worry and desperation. I had seen him before… I knew by the way my heart was clenching at seeing his reflection.

"Shiro! Are you there?" It was him! The voice…

I reached my hand out as I saw the reflection do the same. I was shocked that my hand actually went through the mirror. The image rippled and a liquid like quicksilver started enclosing my whole arm. Before I knew I was engulfed completely by it. I tried screaming but I couldn't open my mouth. I couldn't breath. I started panicking but I was released from the strange liquid before I could lose consciousness. That would have been strange because I was already dreaming but… Dreams have a strange way of working. The new place was immensely bright compared to the place I was before. It looked a lot like my room. My old room back at home. I was standing in the middle of it.

I slowly walked out of the room when a teen ran past me yelling profanities and loudly closed the room's door. I was dumbfounded. Had I just seen myself walk past me? I touched the door and my hand passed through it like it wasn't a solid material. I gulped and walked inside to see myself. It was my thirteen year old self. Not exactly my favourite age. I did things back then I absolutely regret. Like the one that was happening right before my eyes at the moment. The other me was sitting on the bed, looking completely out of it. Well, drugs do that to you.

I sighed dramatically. Why? Why was I remembering this now?

I walked out of the room yet again, utterly disgusted with my young past self. At least it didn't get so bad to me like it did to my step brother. I didn't know how many years he was into that shit or even if he was still alive. I didn't know and though I would like to say I didn't care, I did. Deeply inside, I still got worried about him every time I saw a picture of him. Even if he got me started with all that shit and they were the two fucking worse years of my life, even worse than when my biological parents dumped me. I understood he suffered mom's death too much, even more than me, but still… I promised to myself I wouldn't be back to that ever again.

I walked through the corridors until I heard a faint sobbing coming from the living room. I approached the figure slowly as if not wanting to disturb them. It was a hard task when it seemed I was completely invisible there. It was only a memory after all and this was something my mind seemed to be conjuring up. The figure sitting on the couch sobbing angrily was my brother. Was I trying to unconsciously justify his behaviour? Trying to tell myself that even then he was really sorry?

I put a hand on his shoulder, even though I couldn't really touch him. "I forgive ya'." I saw a faint smile appear on his face before I was blinded by pure white light.

x.x.x.x

That day my hope came back at full force, it was even stronger than before. I had come in the hospital room as usual, taking a sit and grabbing Shiro's hand between mine. That day, I fell uncharacteristically silent. As weird as this may sound coming from me but I had ran out of songs to sing. After some minutes of thinking, I decided to talk about mundane things.

"Shiro? It's me again." I started saying. "You know, it has been three months already." Time sure passed fast but so slow when it came to Shiro… "Heh, I'm not a weakling anymore. Grimmjow has taught me well. Your brother sure can kick ass." I chuckled. Training had been harder lately and I was sure Grimmjow secretly enjoyed it way too much. I had developed strong muscles; there was no sign of the skinny weaker me anymore. Although the two of us new better that we were only doing the entire training thing as a distraction for both him and me. It worked well most of the time.

"Shiro, you really have to wake up." I squeezed his hand; hoping deep inside there would be any form of response. Nothing happened, as always. My chest tightened. "I'm trying to delay it as much as I can but my heart can only take much pain before…" I couldn't finish that sentence so I jumped to another thing. "S-Summer vacation is over. You missed it, chalkface. I really wanted to spend it with you." I took a deep breath. "Go to the beach, eat ice creams, and watch the fireworks… See? I even went on a trip with my friends. It was really fun but I couldn't stop thinking about you and how great it would be if you had been there." My voice started to die down. I was breaking again after so long. It was hard to come here everyday and find every single time that he hadn't still waken up.

Then I heard it. A groan. I stared completely shocked at the lying form of my boyfriend as his eyes were strongly shut. His mouth was twitching. Was he dreaming? Whatever it was, it was a response. That meant there was a higher possibility he might wake up. My heart was thumping loudly in my ears. In my skull. Every-fucking-where. I couldn't describe what I was feeling.

"Shiro," I called to him. "Shiro! Shirosaki! Are you there?" I squeezed his hand harder and bit my lip, waiting. Nothing else happened but I chose to call the doctor immediately.

Not so long after, the room was filled with nurses and doctors, trying to get their patient to respond again. He did with another groan. I didn't even know I was crying until a nurse pointed it out and offered me a tissue.

"What happened?" the doctor asked me after he finished running the protocol tests.

"I was just talking to him as I usually do and he just…" The doctor nodded and scribbled some things on a paper before clearing the room. Now there were just him and me.

"Continue doing so. He might wake up if you do." I nodded. I was still growing accustomed to talking to strangers, but I was feeling such a growing relief and happiness I couldn't find myself to care or fear.

"Shiro you have to come home with me when you get better. Tensa and Zangetsu are great, I swear." Even though I wiped out my tears earlier, they were streaming free down my cheeks again but I couldn't stop them. "I have to reintroduce you to my friends. Now that we are back together, everything is back to how it should be. They are all great, even that asshole Renji. I wasn't even mad at him to start with."

No response. We gave up for the day, the doctor explaining that we might get something else the next day. I agreed to go home and rest. I left the hospital feeling better for once.

x.x.x.x

I found myself in a new place. It seemed like an infinite row of somehow side ways skyscrapers. What the fuck was my mind concocting? I shook my head and stared at the sky that was literally in front of me instead of above. Man, that place was fucked up…

To my complete surprise, I suddenly heard steps behind getting closer and closer. The steps turned into angry stomps and before I could turn around to see who it was, I was smacked across the head. Damn, that hurt.

"What the-!" I furiously turned around to face the responsible but froze when my eyes fell on the figure. "It's ya' again."

The boy frowned, an angry tic appearing on his right eye. "What the hell do you mean by 'it's you again'?"

"The mirror and…" I tried explaining. No use though. The ginger didn't seem to know what the fuck I was talking about. Neither did I.

"Jesus Christ Shiro, how could you forget your own boyfriend? It has been long but… That's beyond being an asshole." The teen growled. Okay, he had some fire.

"Oi, stop being so hard on me! I hardly remember anything!"

"As if I care! Wake the fuck up already!" He yelled at me. Talking about being rude… What was his problem?

"Since when are you such a firecracker Ichi?" The boy grinned from ear to ear seemingly at my response and I wondered what I said for him to look at me like that. And then I noticed…the name. I had said it unconsciously; I didn't even know that was his real name. It sounds incomplete though. "So ya're Ichi…?"

"Ichigo, you stupid chalkface. Look, we've been waiting so long for you. It's time you get out of here, don't you think?" He looked serious when he said this. How long had I been here? Then I remembered him saying… Three months. It had been three months.

"Am I…?"

"In a coma?" Ichigo finished the sentence. Still it was a shock to hear that. What happened to me anyway? "Yes of course. Why else would I be here? A product of your imagination in this strange place…"

"So ya' ain't Ichigo."

"Yes but no." The orange haired shook his head. "Anyway, I'm here to help you to… ah… unlock your memories."

"Why? Am I forgetting something important?" Even if something was missing… Wasn't it because it was better to not remember it?

"Me, you dipshit. Goddammit, are you usually this dense?"

"Is Ichigo this bold?" I countered. I had the feeling this was not his usual behaviour… Or was it?

"Touché." Ichigo snickered. "Anyway, enough talking, let's find those memories before you wake up."

"No."

"What?"

"I mean… What if I don't want to remember?"

Caramel eyes looked directly into mine with an unreadable emotion. He looked sad but at the same time relieved or happy. I couldn't put my finger on what it was. He turned his back on me and started walking away. I followed him without a word, not wanting to stand alone there to be honest. If he was a fragment of my mind…. He could be trusted, right?

Right?

"I want to remember ya' but I also feel like there's somethin' related to ya' that I wanna forget." I explained.

"You are hitting right on the nail Shirosaki." The false Ichigo sighed as he didn't falter in his steps. He was determined to go wherever we were going… "Because you protected me, something terrible happened. I'm sure the real me feels guilty about it so I can freely say that I am too. That one thing you don't want to remember is definitely a nightmare and you decided to forget me with all of it."

"I'm sorry Ichigo, I…"

"Don't apologize to me." He smiled sincerely towards me. "If it makes you feel better… I can retain that certain memory for you, but one day… It'll come back."

Was it worth it? Remember something my mind deemed necessary to forget in favour of my feelings? Because since Ichigo appeared, I've been feeling like I'm floating. Absolutely love-sick. He must be really important to me for making me feel that way.

"I wanna remember ya'. I really do. My heart has been beating so fast since I saw ya'." Ichigo chuckled. "What?"

"Nothing. You'll see why soon enough…"