I have no excuses. Work, studies, laziness. Yeah. Only one more chapter to finish. Woohoo.
x.x.x.x
I was supposed to be in Shinjuku visiting my uncle, my cousins and, of course, my sisters. However, I couldn't bring myself to be away from Shirosaki for a whole week. No after he had been showing signs of waking up. Shinjuku wasn't too far away from Karakura Town, I could get back here in one hour walk if anything happened. Still it made me feel uneasy to be away from Karakura right now.
Tensa and Zangetsu had been trying to coax me all these days, saying that I must spend the winter holidays with my family. My answer had been no all the time. I loved my sisters with all my heart but an equally loved person needed me too. I was torn.
Lately I had been taking less care of myself. Sleeping was a harder task, and I refused to down the pills the doctor told me to have. I didn't want to go in a drugged state of sleep. I was eating less too and as soon as Tensa noticed he lectured me about it. I promised I was trying, but I was really stressed about Shiro's condition. Another three months had passed. The doctors were starting to dread that he might wake up but his brain damage could be so severe that those simple tasks as talking or moving around would be impossible for him.
I sat there, next to him, unable to say anything or even move. The words from the nurse six months ago echoed in my mind. He might not make it. I broke down again. I don't know how many times I had cried in front of him, pleading, begging him to wake up. To stand awake next to me. I was crumbling down into the dark once again. It was slow, it was painful.
"Don't leave me alone… I can't go on without you, I'm trying but…"
I started to sing to him again, voice broken. As broken as my soul.
x.x.x.x
"Ichigo… Where're we goin'?" I asked wearily. We have been walking for a good twenty minutes… More or less. Time was hard to measure inside this world. It hadn't changed; it seemed to have an infinite number of skyscrapers with no end.
"It hasn't been twenty minutes." He suddenly said. Wait, he can read my thoughts? "Of course I can, I'm part of your mind." Ichigo huffed, offended.
"Have we been walkin' longer?" Ichigo stopped dead in his tracks and I stopped right behind him, staring at his back. His shoulders looked tense for some seconds before hunching. "Ichigo?"
"Definitely it has been a lot longer. Not minutes, not hours, maybe not even days." He resumed his walking and I shook my head, confused. What did that mean? "A couple of months if we are lucky. Time passes much faster outside this world but if you are still here, it means you still have possibilities of waking up. People hasn't given up outside, so shouldn't you."
"Months…" I repeated to myself in disbelief. It sounded like an awfully amount of time. I wondered if Ichigo was still waiting for me outside.
"Don't worry Shiro, we are almost there." Almost where? We finally came to a halt in front of a certain skyscraper. It looked the same to me but Ichigo was looking at it intently. A tanned hand was extended towards the skyscraper and was put firmly against the surface. It seemed like nothing happened until the surface started to ripple. Ichigo looked towards me with a grin on his face. He stepped to the side and gestured me with a movement of his head towards the hole that had just been opened in the skyscraper. A lot of sounds were heard from that dark hole, so loud that Ichigo had to talk really loud for me to listen. "This thing will get you outside! You will wake up. Everyone will be happy, kiss kiss, and go home!"
"W-what?! Just like that?" Really? That easy?
"What did you expect? Rainbows and unicorns? Go through Hell and back?" The orange haired teen chuckled, amused by my reaction. "Based in the amount of time you've been bed ridden I can assure you recovery it's going to be hell but, you know… I'll be there!"
"Ya' promise me?" Ichigo looked at me cross-eyed and shook his head.
"I can't promise you, I'm not real," He said in a sad tone. "But even if I'm not there at the moment, I can assure you I'll be there as fast as I can!"
"Ichigo…"
"Just go already!" He grabbed my hand practically pushed me inside the hole. I watched him as I fell into the darkness. I turned around, fearing to abruptly crash against something but instead I saw a bright light… Even brighter that the one from the upside down world.
A constant beeping noise was the first thing that reached my senses. I felt like I was detached from my body, I couldn't feel anything at all. However, for some reason, I didn't panic. The beeping started to reach me louder and the faint smell of antiseptics entered my nostrils. I was recovering my senses really slowly but that was better than nothing. I started to feel my body agonizingly slow. First were fingertips, then the rest of my hand. I don't know how much it took but even then, my body felt awfully heavy. I could only move my fingers and it was really faint and slow. I groaned, my throat hurting and burning with the mere try of making a sound.
I felt so tired, so exhausted even though I had just woken up…
x.x.x.x
It had been a week since arrived to Shinjuku. My sisters managed to keep me entertained so I wasn't worrying about Shiro all the time. My cousin Kaien and his siblings were as loud as I remembered them to be. Yuzu aced all her tests and Karin was still as good playing football as before. I was so proud of them. They knew about dad's suicide but they didn't mourn about it for too long. They were far more intelligent than both let see. The twins understood dad had to let go to go with mom. Their explanation was so simple…
We were sitting at the dinner table when Yuzu leaned over me to whisper. "Did you know, onii-chan? Karin met a boy!"
I almost dropped my fork. My sisters were longer kids… Sometimes I forget. "What do you mean 'she met a boy'?"
"I think she likes him!" Yuzu giggled, covering her hand so she was not heard by her sister.
I snickered and leaned a little more over her. "So, how is he?"
"He's really handsome actually! He is an albino but his eyes are so pretty! That aquamarine colour…" I raised an eyebrow at her words.
"Do you like him too?" I smirked.
"No!" She yelled with a furious blush covering her cheeks. The rest of the family looked at her, making her blush deepen. My snickers morphed into a full laughter.
"Sure you don't."
She was about to retort, her brows furrowed, when my phone started ringing. "Excuse me," I got up from the table and walked outside the kitchen to pick up the call. "Hello?"
"Kurosaki Ichigo?"
"Yes, it's me. Who is this?"
"I'm calling you from the Karakura Central Hospital." My stomach dropped and my mouth was dry all of a sudden. I felt like throwing up and she hadn't said anything else yet. "I'm calling because of Shirosaki Ogichi's condition. Your number figured here as an auxiliary in case the main one wasn't operable." Did that mean they called Grimmjow first but he didn't pick up? Where was he? Dammit!
"W-what is it?" I tried to steady my voice without success.
"He woke up from his coma condition around 19:32 of today. He is just resting right now."
I couldn't form words. I was speechless. Shirosaki was… was… Was I dreaming? I pinched my arm. Hard. It hurt; it didn't feel like a dream. Shiro was really awake. Hot tears were already making their path down my cheeks.
"Are visits allowed right now?" I asked as soon as I recovered from the shock.
"Only by relatives." Fuck.
"Does being his boyfriend counts?"
The woman fell silent for a few seconds in which Ichigo held his breathe until she answered. "Seeming that his only relative is his brother and that he hasn't picked up our calls, I'll write down your name here so you are allowed to come and visit him."
"Thank you."
"If you have any news from his brother, please contact us. We have to discuss with him about the patient's recovery treatment." She added.
"I'll do that."
Then she hanged up. I stared at my phone's screen showing the window with the ended call. I still couldn't believe what I was just been told. It hadn't gone through my brain yet. My eyes widened to impossible proportions when it did.
Shiro was awake.
I broke into the kitchen and everyone stared at me surprised. "I have to go!" I yelled before running upstairs to put on an extra sweater and grab my scarf. I heard the steps downstairs and loud yelling, asking about where I was going. I ran back down, apologizing to my family before running to the hall without further explanation.
"Ichigo! Where are you going?!" Kaien yelled once I was out the house and running down the street.
"Shiro is awake!" I yelled back without stopping.
The snow was thick under my feet, my socks were getting soaked but I didn't care. I kept running, even if the cold air was burning my lungs and freezing my fingers. My nose felt as if it was frosted and my fingers were almost numb when I reached Karakura Town limits. The Hospital was in the centre of the town… I felt like I wouldn't make it. A heard a car engine passing close and I thought about stopping it. It did without me having to try. A familiar blue haired got out from the car.
"Ichigo! What'cha doin' out 'ere?" He held me close to retain any warm I had left and lead me towards the car backseats. "It's a miracle I was passin' by comin' back to town. Why're ya' so far away from home?" He sat back in the front seat and had the car running so he could turn on the heater.
"I was v-visiting my f-family for C-Christmas…" I stuttered because of my clattering teeth. So fucking cold…
"Hold on. We're in our way to the Hospital. I hope ya' don't have a hypothermia or somethin' of that sort." I nodded and hugged myself to try and keep myself warm. My soaked socks weren't helping much so I took them off. "Did ya' receive the call?"
"I-I did."
"Good, but let's get ya' treated first, Berry-tan." I frowned.
"D-don't call me that… I-I-I'll punch you…"
"Ya' sound soooo threatenin' right now." He let out a sarcastic chuckle and I huffed.
The rest of the ride to the Hospital was silent. Luckily, I managed to recover the feel of my fingers and my feet. Grimmjow insisted that we wait parked outside the hospital until I ceased to feel cold. Shiro wasn't going anywhere, he said. I knew.
Ten minutes passed by and that's when I finally recovered my body heat. I sighed in relief. Grimmjow looked at me through the front mirror with a serious expression. What was it?
"Ichigo, are ya' sure ya' wanna come in?" I frowned at this question. Is he questioning me about this now?
"What do you mean? Of course I want to."
"You know… He might be awake but… Is he okay?"
It hit me harder than I wanted it to. I knew that Shiro's brain damage might be enough to get him bed ridden for the rest of his life but I had been trying to not think much about it. It shattered my heart. It was my fault he was in such a state in first place. I clenched my hands, feeling the guilt growing in my chest.
"If ya' ain't ready-"
"-I'm not backing off." I cut him mid sentence. I stared at him with new found resolution despite the feeling tightening my chest. "I'm tired of running away, and I'm definitely not running away from the one I love. I'm not a coward, Grimmjow. If he hates me, I'll face it. If it turns to be that his condition is that bad, no matter what, I'll be there with him."
With this goal set in mind, I got out from the car and closed the door, being closely followed by Grimmjow soon after.
I'm not losing the person I love most. Not soon.
x.x.x.x
I felt a hand taking mine. It was warm, very warm compared to how cold felt the rest of my body. The hospital bed sheets didn't warm much I guess. But this hand… this hand seemed to take all the cold away, like magic. It was big and the grip firm. Whose hand is it? It felt familiar yet different. I knew I have hold this hand before.
Who is it?
I wanted to open my eyes and see for myself, but seemed like the hardest task ever to just do that. I tried and tried until finally I could feel myself lifting my eyelids. I heard a voice, a distant one. This voice was familiar too the other one I don't recall if I heard it before. There were two people there?
I opened my eyes for the first time in what it felt like a really really long time. My vision was extremely blurred and I could only see white. I dropped my head to the side and I saw other colours, no forms. There was black, blue and… orange. Orange? I tried focusing my vision several times with no use.
"Is he awake?" One of the voices asked quietly. The one that sounds familiar.
"I don't know…" The other answered. "Are you with us Shiro?"
Wait, I knew that voice too. It was somehow deeper but that tone… That voice. It was not just a voice. It was the voice. It was important, I couldn't remember why. After some minutes, my vision started working at last. It went out of focus intermittently and it took some more time to finally be able to focus properly. Still the figure was blurry, which frustrated me, but eventually I recognised the figure sitting there, holding my hand like I was the most precious thing.
One name came to my mind: Ichigo.
My lips curved slightly, I think. I couldn't see well but I think his eyes were watering as tears started cascading down his pink cheeks. I could hear his soft crying as his hand tightened over mine. Those beautiful caramel orbs were even more colourful when they were glassy like that.
"S-Shiro… Y-you are finally awake…" He said between sobs. "W-Welcome back…"
I opened my mouth to reply but found myself unable to. My mouth and my throat were completely dry. He sniffed, seeming to sense my problem; he propped my head up softly and put a glass of water over my lips. Some of it probably went to waste down my lips, but I managed to down the rest of it without choking.
"I…Ichi…?" He hugged me instantly. I couldn't return the hug, but I could feel my eyes spilling tears as well. I was so happy to feel the real him again. I've been asleep but I couldn't imagine how long has he been waiting for me to wake up. I promised to myself to stop his suffering but I only seemed to have been worsening it. Once he separated away from me to clean his face I could have a good look at him.
His face was more cut, more handsome. Was he taller as well? His hair had grown out to shoulder length and it looked really good on him. I wasn't mistaken when I said his voice was deeper… He was cute before but now I don't fail to say he is sexier. I tried to smirk at these thoughts.
"W-what are you smiling about?" Ichigo asked with a little laugh of himself.
"I….I was…. T-t-thinking of… " Goddammit! It was so hard to form words… I took a deep breath and continued, taking my precious, frustrating time. "How m-much… y-you have g-g-grown…"
A look of worry crossed Ichigo eyes and he looked somewhere else before he returned his attention to me. "You've been out of it for six months Shiro… I guess I have changed a lot."
I blinked in response. Talking was out of question because I was feeling extremely tired, but I didn't want to go to sleep again. I wanted Ichigo to tell me so many things…
"You look tired, Shiro. Please sleep, I won't move from here." He assured me with a sweet smile.
He didn't have to tell me twice because even if I didn't want to, I was out cold in a matter of seconds…