Louis and Tawny walked in silence through the park, their hands held. They liked to take walks here after dinner. Tawny liked to quip that it was part of a healthy scholar's routine to take walks at the same time of day, as Kant used to do in Königsberg. Louis relished the walks that they would take together, how they would just let their minds wander and take in the surroundings. He noticed that he had become much more attentive to detail after walking the same path day after day, so that even slight differences in the color and density of the foliage stood out to him.
Louis let his thoughts return to what Tawny had said at the dinner table. It wasn't a sacrifice, but a gift, she had said. It was beautifully put, as was so typical of her. But he couldn't help but think that it wasn't quite right. She had to give up something in order to give him what she could give him. She had been forced to choose between him and her work. That was it. And there still was an alternative, as they had discussed that same night at the dinner table. There is always an alternative. And surely the least he could do for her was to make her see the way out before it might be too late, before she might have to go through again what she went through the other night.
Louis stopped in his tracks and turned to face Tawny. He suddenly felt emboldened to put it to her directly now, more than ever. "Tawny," he said. "Remember what we were talking about that night before it all happened? How there is an alternative, how there is always an alternative. Think about it again, Tawny. This country of ours forced you that night to choose between me and your work. And it doesn't have to be that way."
Tawny fixed her eyes on Louis's. He could tell that she had been taken by surprise by the manner in which he had put it to her. He now took his eyes off hers, as if to release some of the tension.
As he let his eyes wander elsewhere, he suddenly noticed something next to one of the bushes that normally wasn't there. Without losing a second, he stepped over to shield Tawny from the direction of the object and then hurled himself, and her with him, to the ground.
There were gunshots. A woman's scream and a dog's bark could be heard in the distance. Quick footsteps on the grass indicated that the gunman was escaping amid the commotion. Louis had been hit, taking a shot to the upper body. His quickness in getting to the ground had prevented any further damage. Tawny, who was unhurt, scrambled over to Louis and took hold of him in her arms.
"Louis…" she just whispered, the expression on her face a mixture of horror and disbelief.
Louis was still breathing, albeit unevenly. As his eyes met Tawny's, his lips suddenly turned into the boyish smile that she had seen so many times before. "Tawny…" he just whispered, clearly at pains to say something. He made an effort. "I… I love you so much. And this is all I can give back to you, Tawny. The only way of giving back…all that you've given me." He shut his eyes, as if ready to go to sleep.
"LOUIS!" Tawny screamed at the top of her lungs. "What is wrong with you?! You are the most selfish, immature little…" She stopped as she suddenly realized what she was saying and recalled the first time she had said it, many years ago. The tears streamed down her cheeks. "You said you'll never leave me, Louis," she said softly in between her tears. "You can't leave me. What about the gift, Louis? What about us? How are we going to keep on giving back to each other, if you're not there?"
Louis could hear Tawny's words reverberating inside his head like a distant, yet ever so clear, echo. He felt a strange sense of disorientation. He forced his eyes back open one more time to find Tawny crying as he had never seen her cry before. His face contorted into a look of fearful desperation, as if it all suddenly dawned on him. No, he couldn't let it happen. He couldn't take himself away from her. He had been willing to give anything for her, but the one thing that he couldn't give up was himself. He had been about to die for her, but now he had to stay alive for her, somehow.
Tawny's eyes met Louis's. She could see that he was now struggling with all his might to remain with her, to not leave her behind. And as she could see the fearful desperation in his eyes turn into fierce determination, she could feel it once more, the feeling of his strength flowing into hers. And she knew that he needed it from her even more, now more than ever. She knew what it was that they had to do.
"Louis." Her voice now came out strongly, full of conviction. "Remember how you said I made your pain go away so many times in the past? Well it's going to happen again, Louis. You just have to believe. You have to believe in me and yourself, the two of us." She placed an arm lovingly around his neck, laying her hand gently on his pulse, resting his head on her other hand. "It's the first day of junior high, Louis. You've just fallen off the flagpole. And I'm holding you in my arms."
Louis was fighting tooth and nail against the forces trying to shut his body down. His eyes shut once more as a flood of indiscernible visions began raining down on his mind. He couldn't tell if this was a sign of impending death or a sign of Tawny pulling him back to life. Then gradually, he could make out the figure of an angel emerging out of a shaft of light that swept everything else aside. It was the first day of junior high, his eyes meeting Tawny's for the first time after he fell off the flagpole, her beautiful face shining down on him like a ray of sunshine.
Tawny continued. "You've hurt your back playing mattress rodeo on that devil bed, Louis. There's a glass window between us. But I'm still holding you in my arms. You've just opened your eyes. And I'm trying to tell you something…"
She leaned in close to his ear and said: "Are you okay? I can hear you screaming through the intercom."
As if on cue, the previous image faded into the next, yet his guardian angel remained with him. There she stood outside the mattress store that night, a look of affectionate concern on her face, the look that warmed his heart so many times.
"You've just fallen onto the gym floor, Louis. You're still in your wombat suit. And I'm holding you in my arms. And you're trying to tell me something."
Louis found himself lying on the ground yet held lovingly in her arms, his head resting on her hand. He had just told her to not go, that he needed to tell her something. And there she was, looking expectantly into his eyes, waiting for the words to come out of his mouth. And he understood. He understood that it was now his turn to give back to her what she had given him so many times in the past.
Tawny remained motionless, her mind and body locked as if into a state of suspension. Her knee began to bleed as the asphalt underneath it cut into her flesh, yet she felt no pain whatsoever. She felt nothing but her strength flowing into his and back into hers, locked inseparably into one, with a combined force that not even death could overcome.
"You're trying to tell me something, Louis."
Louis gathered all his strength. The words came back to him, and with it life. "You have…the two most beautiful eyebrows I have ever seen." He opened his eyes to find a smile forming on Tawny's face. But it was now 25 years later, back in the present. And she was still smiling, as radiantly as ever.
It was then that the paramedics arrived on the scene and placed him on a stretcher. Someone had, in the midst of all this, called an ambulance. Louis shut his eyes again, as if ready to go to sleep, his pain dissolving in the lingering sight of Tawny's smile.