Some references to LSBD, not too many, although it would make it a bit easier to understand :) and hey, thanks ptl4ever419 :)

2. Shopping with Lord Voldemort

Tempest was in the fruit aisle, poring over nectarines and peaches and very pointedly avoiding the pears. (Sirius hated pears. Somehow Tempest could never get that out of her mind.) She had finally made a selection and was filling a bag with nectarines when she saw him.

He was strolling over from the bread racks, a basket swinging freely over his arm, brown eyes pursuing the rows of frozen food, looking for all the world like a university student off for weekend shopping.

Tempest balked.

Lord Voldemort, wearing the face of Tom Riddle was walking through a muggle shop, doing, if she could see correctly, his weekly shopping. As she watched, he added a bag of frozen chicken legs to his basket, then turned… and his eyes met hers.

Tempest dropped her eyes instantly. It was summer; she had been out in the sun with Cat enough for the giant ball of fire in the sky to sear her skin a bright red, a colour so different from her usual pale pallor she may as well have been covered in paint. Her hair was down and she was wearing muggle clothing; a t-shirt and shorts and there was every chance that Voldemort would not recognize her.

Of course, the fates weren't that kind.

"Tempestas Potter," purred the voice, coming not a foot from her downward-angled head. "Fancy seeing you here."

Tempest choked on her own spit and her head jerked up. "We're in a public place," she blurted, incredibly unprepared to have been facing a Dark Lord that afternoon. She had just popped out to get groceries, not face off against Voldemort. "You can't kill me here." Only after she spoke the words, she realized how stupid she sounded. The shop was filled with muggles; Voldemort had the ability to and would have no qualms slaughtering the whole lot.

Voldemort laughed charmingly. "Oh I have no desire to kill you today, Tempest."

Tempest looked at him, fearing for his sanity, then very much fearing for her own. "Well then that's stupid," she said bluntly, "you spent so much time the past school year luring me away to kill me, and here I am, and you can't be bothered?"

Voldemort shrugged, "it wasn't exactly on my agenda today. It really does mess with my schedule when unplanned things happen. So no, I won't be killing you today. I will write it in for tomorrow if you'd prefer?"

Tempest gapped. "I… you… schedule… you do realize that the moment I leave I'll be telling everyone I know that I ran into Voldemort into a shop buying-" she peered into his basket, "chicken, jellybabies, canned apples, avocadoes, party mix and tinfoil? What are you making?"

"Who would believe you? The chicken is for Nagini; we ran out of dead muggles this morning and collecting more of those isn't written in my diary until Wednesday. The rest is for me."

Tempest snorted, relaxing ever so slightly as Voldemort didn't seem to have his wand within reach. "Well trust you to have jellybabies," she muttered under her breath, still trying to get over the bizzare vision of Voldemort dressed in muggle trousers and a pressed shirt. "Probably eat them from the toes up too."

Voldemort looked down at her almost like he wanted to laugh, but was restraining himself, as he was a dark wizard, and she was the object of his continued death wishes, so much so they had carried from beyond the grave. "I do actually," he replied.

"Typical."

Tempest stared at Voldemort. Well… this was strange. She had to keep repeating that otherwise it might start to seem like this was a regular occurrence, and Merlin knew she could do with a lot less of Dark Wizards turning up in her life for it to be 'normal.' So if she took Voldemort at his word and trusted him not to kill her here in the middle of a grocery shop, what was he still doing standing in front of her?

"Can I help you with something?" tried Tempest. "Er, where to find the chainsaws and garroting wire?"

Voldemort frowned at her. "The what?"

"Never mind." Right. Dressed as a muggle or not, Voldemort was still oblivious to the muggle world. That was quite a relief actually; he could remain ignorant to what a tazer or gun could do. That was the plan really. It'd be nice to know what Voldemort'd look like with a bullet between the eyes. "Why are you here though? I thought you'd never stoop to the level of visiting a muggle shop."

"Other than you and the few who believe your account, to the Wizarding World, I am dead," Voldemort stated, "I cannot exactly stroll down Diagon Alley to do my shopping."

"Why didn't you just cast an imperious on some other wizard and get them to do your grocery shopping for you?"

Voldemort stared at her like she had just discovered fire.

"Oh come on, seriously? You never thought of that?"

Voldemort cleared his throat. "My mind was occupied with more pressing matters."

"Such as your long and needlessly complicated plot to lure me out of Hogwarts?

Voldemort bristled, which was far less impressive seeing as he looked like an ordinary muggle and to see him as a powerful and feared Dark wizard was almost impossible with the green shopping basket swinging on his arm. Tempest had to remind herself that behind the skin of a regular man, there was as scarlet-eyed, slit-nosed snake-like monster. "That plan was engineered to arouse as little suspicion as possible."

"'As little suspicion?'" echoed Tempest, "mate, I'm sorry, but you failed astronomically at that. I guarantee you, had you merely gotten Crouch to stun me in behind some building in Knockturn Alley, it would have raised about the same amount of 'suspicion' and saved you a hell of a lot of hassle- shit, I feel like I'm doing your job for you."

"I did offer to put you on the payroll."

Tempest laughed and deciding the day couldn't get more bizzare if it tried, she began pursuing the tea that Sirius had asked after. It seemed that the most important people in her life either had no appreciation for her love of coffee, (Cat) or were hellbent on converting her into a sipping from a floral patterned cup-and-saucer addict (Minnie and Sirius.) In reply to Voldemort though, she said; "you offered me my life as payment."

"A reasonable agreement, I thought."

"Oh go get fucked," huffed Tempest, examining tins of Earl Grey (Sirius's favourite) with relation to English Breakfast (least favourite) and wondering if she should get him the latter as revenge for swapping her mug of freshly made coffee for tepid tea the other day.

"That is the second time you have suggested such an occurrence- should I interpret that as an invitation?"

"No!" hissed Tempest, clutching a tin of Earl Grey and fully prepared to utilize it as a weapon. "It was an insult, warning- whatever you like except what you just said. Merlin, do evil megalomaniacs need this sort of thing spelled out for them?"

"I don't see myself as evil," objected Voldemort, sounding almost plaintive.

"Of course you don't," replied Tempest tiredly, finally deciding to be generous towards Sirius and selecting the Earl Grey. "You're a psycho."

Merlin above, now Voldemort looked genuinely hurt. "It isn't a requirement for you to insult me every time you open your mouth," he said.

"You killed my parents, I think you're getting off lightly."

"It wasn't anything personal."

"You killed my parents then tried to kill me! It's nothing but personal!"

Voldemort sighed, shaking his head. "Teenagers, always so touchy."

"Touchy-" Tempest paused for a moment waiting until a family of muggles with a squealing girl in their shopping trolley had passed by before she continued, this time a shade quieter, in a voice that was so constricted it sounded strangled. "I can excuse you killing me- that I can take, but they're my parents!"

"They were your parents," said Voldemort, "past tense. And I don't see why you're so peeved about it; you can't even remember them."

"And whose fault is that?" said Tempest in utter disbelief.

"…well… yours. It is your memory."

"I- you- fucking- I don't-" Tempest was at a rare loss for words, seemingly unable to string the ones floating around in her brain into coherent sentences, and fully convey the sheer magnitude of emotions coursing through her at the moment. "I hope you choke on your jellybabies." She finally managed, and stormed off.