About two weeks after Luke Skywalker had left them to go visit his sister on D'Qar, a weather system moved in over the small island that drenched it in torrential rain for five straight days. Rey was unused to dealing with rain, and the novelty of seeing water fall from the sky wore off quickly. The rain was cold and biting, and for several days they were barely able to leave the small stone buildings on the island.
On the sixth day when a blue sky finally appeared, Rey made her case. "I've got to get out of here," she pleaded. "Please. Can't you teach me some stuff about using the Force to survive in the woods or something? Anything. Let's go exploring. "
He had tried to resist, but he too was tired of being cooped up in the small beehive cells. Tired of looking at the same walls to avoid looking at her, tired of his own moodiness and brooding thoughts. So they packed some food, other supplies, and set out to explore the small island.
He had let her get quite a bit ahead of him in the woods when he heard her yell for him to hurry. Speeding up, he found her crouching at the edge of a small grotto. It was a small hot spring. There were two levels of water, a shallow upper pool and a deeper lower pool that was created out of a bowl made of several ancient rocks. The water steamed in the air as it trickled from one pool to the other. Towering evergreen trees grew over the spot, and the ground around the pool was soft, green and mossy.
"What is it?" She breathed, her eyes wide.
Even as someone who has done so much, she's seen so little, he remembered. All her bravery in fighting him, piloting space ships, and aiding the Resistance didn't change the fact that she was still a young woman who had, until very recently, known only one world.
"It's a hot spring," he explained. "Mineral waters, likely heated by the same underground volcano that made this island. I'm not surprised there is one here on the island; likely the Jedi monks who built this temple came here and soaked after hard practice sessions. It probably has a lot to do with why they chose the place."
Her eyes got even wider. "You can...bathe in this?" She was incredulous. She stuck half her hand in the water and felt the warm, silky water that was the trademark of mineral springs.
"Well that settles it." She began to kick off her shoes and remove her many layers of cloaks, shawls and hoods.
"What are you doing?"
She gestured at the pool. "If I have a chance of being warm, really warm for the first time since I left Jakku, there's not a chance I'm turning that down." He watched her as she took off the last layer before her form-fitting tunic and leggings.
She paused and gave him a pointed look. "Turn around?"
"Right." He flushed red but turned around as she finished stripping and heard a splash as she made her way into the spring.
"Go ahead," he heard her call. "Get in, I'm not looking. "
Oh, he thought miserably. His stomach sank as he removed his boots and stripped off his clothing, dropping it beside hers on the soft moss. This is a bad idea, he thought, even as he made his way into the hot spring, unable to resist her invitation.
As she heard the splash of his entrance she turned around and smiled at him. She had taken down her hair and it floated around her as she sank down until the water was right below her eyes. Her eyes looked green in this light, and they closed as a look of ecstasy passed over her face.
"This...is amazing." she said, sighing deeply and completely, the stresses of the training draining out of her as she soaked in the warm water.
He pushed himself to the far side of the pool, almost dizzy with how desperately he wanted to reach his arms under the water and draw her against him. How badly he wanted to feel her firm body against his hard one. He wondered what her willing mouth would feel like, opening against his eager one. Across the pool she leaned out for a moment to pluck at a small plant growing there. He saw her entire back exposed, her wet hair dripping down it (the mystery solved at last-it hit her right below the delicate blades of her shoulders), and the sight of her long lean muscles meeting the slight swell of her hips caused an involuntary moan that he hid in a sudden fit of coughing.
He was shaking with the effort of his restraint. He lifted his wet hands and rubbed his face roughly, feeling the stubble there on his chin. He pressed his fingers deep against his eyes, pushing a little too hard, and when the dull ache began he used that pain to bring control to his body.
"What are you doing?" He dropped his hands and she was several inches away, peering at him suspiciously.
"I'm not doing anything," he snapped at her.
She narrowed her eyes, disbelieving him. He had become even more of an enigma to her over the past few weeks as he had begun to change. When he was all darkness, all Kylo Ren, things were simple. She knew how to feel about him; hate and fear were reasonable reactions. She might, in her softer moments, feel sorry for him, but that was as far as it went. But as they had settled into their life on the island together things had shifted. The forced intimacies of spending hours together training, of sharing a space, and with increasingly regularity their meals had given way to something approaching real intimacy. The shadow of Kylo Ren had begun to recede. What was left in its place was something far more confusing for her to encounter; a person haunted by their past, unable to imagine the future.
Rey had never felt like that. She had always been focused on one simple thing; remaining on Jakku so that she would be there when her family returned. She didn't ask difficult questions about why she didn't remember her family, or why they had left her there. She just believed, with a burning certainty, that if she stayed in one place they would find her. When the little droid had come into her life, she had known it was the right thing to do to help deliver him to the Resistance. There had never been a question of whether it was too hard, or too dangerous. She just acted. And when General Organa had offered her the Millennium Falcon, and told her to go find Luke Skywalker, she had never doubted that seeking training as a Jedi was the right thing to do.
But this man in front of her? He confused her. Her own reactions to him left her feeling confused, disoriented, and - ashamed.
A few nights before she had a vivid, unsettling dream. She had awoke in the middle of the night. The small compound of stone cells was silent. She had left her pile of warm blankets and crept out into the night. She had been cold, and remembering it now could bring gooseflesh to her skin but in the dream she had determinedly crossed the small courtyard to where Kylo Ren slept. The room was in shadow, and she could hear the steady breaths of a man deep in sleep. Standing above his bed she'd removed the rough tunic she slept in and, naked, slipped in between the blankets to fit her small body against the curve of his large one.
In the dream he had woken instantly-all of him. Her skin was freezing from her journey across the yard, and he had dipped his hands in and out of the curves of her body to warm her. He drew the blanket up around her shoulder to ward off any chill. Her smaller hands rested on his chest, surprised - and pleased - at the curls of hair there. He drew his thumbnail along her jaw, bending to touch his lips behind her ear in an act that sent fire through her body. As she shivered with eagerness, he traced a line of kisses down her neck. He hadn't shaved in a few days, and the rough stubble on his face excited her as it scratched her skin. He raised his head then and before she woke he had gazed at her with the dark look of a man torn between protecting something beautiful and his desire to devour it, possess it, perhaps even at the risk of destroying it.
She saw that look in his eyes now.
The dream had sobered her for a few days, caused her to pull back from their increasing intimacy. She had tried to concentrate on the training regimen and been careful not to smile at him, tease him or encourage him in anyway to feel friendly with her. But as she recognized that look now she felt flooded with desire and recklessness.
Here she hesitated. She didn't know the first thing about seducing a man-even that phrase made her want to hide her head in embarrassment. She was a virgin, beyond a virgin. Virginal in every way. She didn't know how to flirt, or hint, or anything like that. If she wanted him, how would she ever tell him?
She wondered…
When he felt her mind reaching out for his and his eyes flew to hers in shock.
"What are you doing?" he barked. They had seemed to have an unspoken agreement that they wouldn't do this. It was too terrifying and intimate, the potential for disaster too huge. He was about to respond forcefully to push her out when he noticed what she was doing.
The scent of honey filled the air. He could almost taste it, filling his mouth as she gazed at him from across the pool. He felt her want for him surging towards him, and he made a choking noise as it hit him. He hadn't dreamed to think...but it was wrong, all wrong. It was too dangerous. He couldn't let this happen.
"Rey…" he whispered weakly. He dug his fingernails into the palms of his hands, trying to use the pain to push away the desire he felt for her. But it was hopeless-his desire was flooding through the connection she had forged, and as she felt it she floated towards him.
He made no move to touch her, terrified that if he did he wouldn't be able to stop himself from taking her all at once. As she moved closer to him she took his face in between her hands, anxiously searching his eyes for guidance
"Please," she murmured, her face flushing. "Please...I don't know how to do this."
At her plea he lost his battle to control himself. Reaching his hands under the water, he lifted her so she could wrap her legs around his waist. As she crossed her ankles behind his back, he turned so that she was backed up against one of the enormous smooth rocks that edged the pool. He reached his hands into her wet hair, exposing her neck, roughly kissing her there and feeling a thrill of triumph and surge of hunger as she moaned softly in response. Her mouth was on his ear, and he could feel her hot breath there quickening as his hands dropped to caress the side swell of her breasts.
He kissed her then, feeling her sweet mouth part beneath his eagerly. A groan escaped his lips as her legs tightened around him, drawing him closer. He wanted her, badly. He wanted to take her here, against this rock, and he could feel she wanted it too-that she would let him have her. He hungered to know all of her, to push into her and find out what other sounds he could elicit. He wanted to find out if he could make her sob with delight, to make her so exhausted with pleasure that she begged him to stop. But he shook his wet curls against her, still unsure, still not understanding why she was opening her body to him like this.
Why do you want me? The thought was out and directed at her before he could retrieve it.
She drew back then and examined his face, finded a guarded vulnerability there. She felt into the flow between them, and sensed the self-loathing that was never far from him. She traced his heavy brow with a shaking finger, gentle where the scar she had given him still bisected his forehead.
She looked at him with eyes that were full of confusion, even pleading, as if she were hopeful he had the answer she didn't. She didn't know why she wanted him, but it was undeniable. All she knew was that she recognized an energy in him, and it drew her to him so completely that everything in her cried out to be close to him, even at the risk of being devoured. It frightened her. But the call could not be refused.
He held her closer as she trembled. "Don't be afraid," he whispered against her ear. "I feel it too."