After that, nothing was ever the same.

The rains returned to the island, but this time Rey didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore, only the long planes of his body moving against hers as they made love.

We've been starving, she realized. There had never been a time when touch had been part of her life. There had not been anyone to caress her on Jakku, to nip her ear or kiss her fingers, one by one with care. She had not known, had not even thought to imagine, how delicious it might feel to have nails run gently down her back, or have her hair pulled just so. She hadn't known that once these things began to happen to her that everything else would recede; that all she would want to do would be to touch and be touched.

He obliged her. He was less clumsy than her, at first, having known some caring touch in his childhood at least. But he too had been starving, devoid of contact except that which caused pain since the First Order took him. Sometimes his hunger felt so consuming that he was afraid he would break her, but her body rose again and again beneath him and only begged for more. She refused to be sated. She demanded to know more and more of him, waking him from sleep with kisses on his eyelids, the soft skin behind his knee, the arch of his feet. Sometimes he would rise from sleep with a strangled cry to find her kneeling over him, bringing him to finish before he was even fully awake.

Her intensity frightened him. When she looked at him, he felt exposed in a way that left him unsettled. She looked at him as if she saw all of him, but yet she didn't retreat or pull away. Ren didn't understand this, how it could be possible for her to really know him and not be repulsed. How could she see him and still want him? He wondered this things as he moved inside her morning and night, relishing the way she grabbed at him, held onto him as for dear life.

The rain was falling gently one morning when Rey woke before him. It had been several days since their first time at the hot spring, and they were both exhausted from several days of making love, stopping only to eat, bathe, and sleep. In the quiet dawn hours she snuck out from beneath the covers and, quietly slipping into his warm black cloak and stuffing her feet into her warm boots, hurried out the door. She made her way through the compound, tiptoeing to avoid the pools of water and muddy rivulets. She opened the door to Luke Skywalker's small, cold study, location of one of the few pieces of modern technology on the island, a subspace transceiver.

Chewie had brought it with him when he delivered the news of General Organa's illness. Luke had insisted Rey install it and she had been dutifully checking it every several days, sending messages that all was okay on the island. When she checked the small machine today, the machines light was blinking as usual, but when she heard the voice on the recording a smile broke out over her face. It was Finn, his voice sounding weaker than she remembered but undeniably him.

He told her about his ongoing recovery, complaining good naturedly about the food in the cafeteria on base . He said that he had been spending a lot of time with Poe Dameron, and Rey thought she heard there something unspoken but promising. He sounded good, and Rey felt herself missing him and their easy camaraderie, but near the end of the message his voice grew serious.

"I'm worried about you, Rey. I don't understand why you aren't here with Skywalker. Why would he have you stay alone there waiting for him when you could be here with the people that care about it? It doesn't sit right with me. So….call me back. I want to hear your voice, and know you're okay. Alright?" At that he hung up.

Rey listened to the message several times, aware of a growing unease in her stomach. Finally, she punched in the sequence that would dial her through the Resistance base on D'Qar.

What am I going to tell him? She thought as it connected. He'll never understand. He'll think I'm crazy. He'll think I'm in danger. Her head swam as she shifted to see it from his perspective. Oh god, it really doesn't look good.

"Rey for Skywalker" she stammered when the officer answered the transmission on the other end, deciding at the last second she wasn't prepared to speak to Finn right now.

Luke's voice was scratchy through the connection but his concern came through. "Rey? Is everything okay?"

She felt assured just hearing his voice. "Everything's fine," she said. "I just wanted to hear you, live, not just on a message."

"I'm glad," came the reply. "I didn't expect to be gone so long, but Leia is getting better and it looks like I might be returning soon." She had been kept abreast of Leia's progress in recovering from the exotic virus she had contracted during her brief time on Takodana. It has resisted even Luke's Jedi healing powers, but a strict regimen of conventional medicine and sessions with Luke had been slowly returning the general to health.

"I'm so relieved to hear that. Tell her I asked about her, would you?"

"Of course. And your friend Finn, I see him quite a bit now that he has been released from the medical center. He's been a big asset to the Resistance with his knowledge of First Order training methods and weaponry. He asks me about you every time I see him."

"I bet," Rey said, "He's a good friend." She felt her voice grow thin.

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "Are you okay, Rey? Is everything alright?" She wasn't prepared for the tone of fatherly concern in his voice, and tears sprung to her eyes as she struggled to keep her voice steady and light.

"Yes, everything's grand. We've been training hard and the weather's been terrible but other than that, everything's fine." She forced cheer into her voice as she swiped at the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

Another pause. "Okay Rey," Skywalker responded, sounding unconvinced. "Just remember, if anything happens….if you need anything, you can take my ship and come to us." When Chewie had come in the Millennium Falcon, Luke had gone back with him, leaving behind a battered B-Wing E2 starfighter hidden in a shallow cave on the island.

"Right. Okay, we'll see you soon. Love to everyone." She hastily cut the connection and turned the radio off. In the sudden silence she could hear the wind howling outside as the rain continued to pour down. Oh, what am I doing? She thought. The past several days suddenly felt like a dream, and in her sudden clarity she wondered if she had gone mad. He's the enemy, she reminded herself. He's done terrible things, to people I love. People who won't ever forgive him for that. She thought of Finn, and of Poe, who had become a friend on D'Qar as they comforted each other over Finn's beside. She might see another side of Ren, but why should they? Skywalker was wise to have not told them she was alone with Kylo Ren on the island; they would have come for her immediately, intent on rescuing her.

Maybe that's right, she thought. Maybe I do need rescuing. What is this insanity I've fallen into?

She was turning the radio back on and punching the sequence in to call D'Qar, this time to ask for Finn, when she felt him stir across the compound. He woke hungry, and when he reached for her and found only space where her warm body was usually nudged against his, he searched for her using their strange Force connection.

Rey? She sensed his languid desire in the question and it aroused her. How much he wanted her, how limitless his appetite was for her made her feel powerful, and she had been surprised to learn that when she felt powerful she wanted him even more. Even in the cold of Luke's study, her mind a million miles away, just feeling the touch of his mind on hers was enough to make her grow wet.

Almost before she knew it, she was making her way across the compound to him. He was waiting for her when she entered the room, her hair dripping with rain. She dropped his cloak to the floor and climbed into his bed (our bed, the thought rose unbidden, and it thrilled her). He was ready for her, and as she climbed atop his body and drew him inside her soundlessly she held his gaze with an inscrutable expression. She rode him slowly at first, her hand gently at his throat, but with a growing intensity that startled him.

"Do you know what you've done?" She asked, moving above him. "Do you know that nothing can ever be the same for me now?" He groaned beneath her and murmured her name, tortured by her words but enslaved by the rhythm of her hips.

"You may cost me everything...everyone….." she gasped as she drew close to her release. "And I will give it all up for you...but you will deny me nothing...Do you hear me? You will give me all of you." He stared up at her, frightened by this side of her but aroused too, excited by her desire to possess him fully. She tightened her grip on his throat as his own climax drew near. "Tell me," she insisted, unwilling to let either of them have their pleasure until he submitted to her. "Tell me you're mine."

He shuddered beneath her, desperate, "Yes," he agreed hoarsely, "Yes, I'm yours. You know you can take whatever you want." As he said it he felt her come, and he joined her in the quivering release.

In the stillness that came afterwards, he told her he loved her, and held her as she sobbed bitterly for all this would cost her.