Chapter Three
Naruto groaned as he woke up from his pain-induced slumber. "Oh kami, what the hell hit me? Better question is probably what did I hit? I don't get it though. Dad didn't say anything about it hurting like hell, so what did I do wrong to screw it up soooo much?"
It was about this point that Naruto noticed that his front yard had changed. Where before the large trees that dominated most of Konoha's surrounding forests had served as a comforting backdrop, the current trees were much smaller and an entirely different species.
They looked closer to the trees he usually saw growing in the fancy hotels Jiraiya would sometimes frequent. Beyond that, however, was a far more dramatic difference. A huge ocean, stretching so far into the distance that not even the hint of land could be seen, now sat where the view of Konoha's southwestern fringe had once been.
Strange landscape aside, however, Naruto had a terrifying lawn ornament. Tsunade was passed out on the grass of his front lawn, arms splayed out to the sides. Now Naruto wasn't the brightest of men, but even he had heard the stories about what kunoichi did to nearby men when they woke up someplace and couldn't remember how they got there: they beat shit up.
Slowly, carefully, Naruto backed away from the window and ran to the kitchen, hoping beyond hope that his dad had some sake stored up to pacify the easily angered blond enough that she wouldn't outright kill him. Finding some, he quickly poured it into a saucer and carried bottle and saucer out to wait for the busty blonde to awaken.
It took about three hours for Tsunade to come to, and in that time Naruto sent out several groups of shadow clones to get the lay of the land, search for nearby settlements and store up some Sage chakra in case of possible conflict. He was hoping that what his scouts gathered might be enough to interest Tsunade so that she wouldn't pound his head in.
The scouts sent out to gather intel on where Naruto and his house had landed had finished outlining the island, and boy what an island. They were on the back end of a pretty large island, roughly the size of Wave country if it were gathered into one island. A mountain divided it into two parts, with the much larger half being Naruto's side. Rivers of fresh water ran down the side they could see and into a lake half the size of Konoha. The forest ran a rough ring about this lake on Naruto's half. The details of the other side, however, were entirely thanks to the sensory ability of Naruto's sage clones.
His settlement scouts had sent back more welcoming news in conjunction with the sage clones. Apparently, there were several groups of people on the other side of the huge mountain, with one having almost as many people as the village in Nami, nowhere close in population to one of the Big Five. There were also several very small parties roaming the forest that encompassed Naruto's half of the island. Naruto guessed they were either sailors, foragers from the other side of the mountain, or strangers that got lost - much like Naruto was at the moment.
A groan startled Naruto out of his musings as Tsunade awoke from her... nap. A few explanations later had Naruto on the ground in pain. Tsunade hadn't taken kindly to the news that he had no idea how he had managed to transport himself, Tsunade and his father's house onto an island that neither were familiar with.
Naruto cringed as Tsunade slammed her hand into his head. "What do you mean, you don't know what you did? It was your technique!"
"Well if you want to get technical about it, it was actually my dad's technique so-"
WHAM! Tsunade proceeded to pick up Naruto and throw him into a nearby tree. "I don't care who came up with it Naruto! So help me, if you got us stuck on some deserted island with no way off, I'm gonna kill you!"
Naruto, amazingly, didn't seem very hurt by the blow. His Sage training had gone a long way towards increasing Naruto's durability.
"Baa-chan, it's okay! I'm positive we're not on a deserted island! I can feel people somewhere on the other side of those huge mountains, I just don't know where we are. It doesn't look like Water Country, 'cause it's too tropical. They're cold and damp, like a dungeon or a sewer." Naruto adopted a thoughtful expression. "Kinda explains their dreary outlooks on life."
Just as Tsunade was about to slam her hand onto Naruto for getting sidetracked - again- a voice spoke from behind them. "What are you doing on Amazon Lily! How did you get here? No men are allowed on this island! It is forbidden!"
Tsunade sighed and turned. Standing behind them was a woman with a moderate figure and long black hair, carrying some sort of spear. Tsunade wasn't really bothered by the weapon. She could beat the shit out of this woman with only one limb at her disposal, but that would be bad diplomacy. "I'm sorry for this. The idiot over there used a time-space technique that sent us through a portal without a target in mind, and the portal seems to have dropped us out here. Could you please take us to see the person in charge? We need to see if we can get in contact with our comrades."
Not understanding what Tsunade was talking about, the woman shook her head. "You may come with me, as you are a strong woman. He, however, must remain in our holding grounds until such time as we can remove him from the island."
"Hey, now wait just a minute. We just got done saying that it was an accident! Besides, that's my house. It's the only thing I have left from my parents! You want to see whether you can take it from me? Just try it! I'll give everything you send at me back a thousand fold!"
The woman now gripped her spear much more fiercely. "You think you can best me? I am a warrior of the Kuja tribe! We are the most powerful thing on this island, bar none. I'd watch my tone if I were you."
Naruto scoffed. "The odds of you actually being stronger than me aren't that high, but the odds of you outmatching me and her? You might as well kiss your ass goodbye in that fight. She could beat you with just one arm. Hell, she might beat both of us by herself. She might be polite to you, but the chances of her picking a stranger over her own are about as good as your chances of getting laid, little lady! So back off!"
Tsunade smiled. "The kid's got a point about my strength, and it'll be a cold day in hell before he leaves without that house. That being said, go ahead and lock him up. The brat's pretty harmless, really, but he's a magnet for other people's troubles. Seems to draw in attention and mayhem like a fire draws moths. Not his fault really, and it's hilarious to watch from a safe distance, but it is best he is kept in one place. At least that way you can keep the damage to a minimum."
"But baa-chan I didn't-"
"Shut it, gaki! You got us into this mess, so it looks like someone will have to get you out. It just happens that someone is me this time, so I'm calling the shots. You got a problem with that?" Tsunade punctuated her statement with a raised fist.
Naruto shook his head, fearing for his poor head's safety. "No problem at all baa-chan."
The mystery woman smirked as she watched the byplay. "It is nice to know we are not the only ones that know men's place."
Tsunade smirked back. "I'll take that as a compliment."
"What else could it be?"
The three of them walked in silence, well relative silence considering Naruto's grumbling. They stopped for the night on the edge of the mountain. There might not have been many people on the island, but that said nothing about the animal population. In just about any place in the wild, moving at night wasn't a smart idea when it could be avoided. The two ninja weren't frightened of what might be out there, but caution was the better part of valor.
Naruto grumbled as he set up camp while Tsunade and the woman, whom they had found out was named Kimiko, laughed about some of the stupid things men had done. Kimiko seemed to take particular relish out of the stories about Jiraiya, but those didn't start until after Tsunade had finished off the three bottles of sake Naruto had brought for the journey. Hearing about his old sensei had been painful, but Naruto decided the knowledge he gained was more than worth it.
As the night wore on, Tsunade eventually passed out, leaving Naruto at the woman's mercy... or more accurately, her at his mercy. The two had stared each other down for ten solid minutes before Naruto broke the silence.
"Why do you hate men? What did we – I say that to include all men – do to earn that much hatred?"
Kimiko was startled at Naruto's question. "It isn't a simple matter of hating them. It is the fact that this island is a sanctuary for women. Our ancestors came here to get away from men, and we do not bring them here to keep it safe. If the men of the outside world ever learned of what we had here, I do not think we would remain safe for very long."
"What kind of men have you met that justify that? I mean I understand where they're coming from. There are some real nasty people in the world, and I've known a few guys that didn't think women should be allowed to live independent like you all are, but they're kind of the minority where I come from. Most guys in my village might tease the girls we know, but we also know not to take it too far. They'll gang up on you and kick your ass if you don't watch it."
Kimiko laughed loudly. "Ah, that sounds like a refreshing place. Truthfully I don't know much about men, as I never left the island like some do to bear children. I chose to stay and train as a warrior. I don't hate men, I disdain them. They are weak, corrupted by an illusion of power, and often violent."
"They can't all be that bad," Naruto argued. "There's no way it could stay that way for too long. If women here are anything like back home, they'll be really sneaky. There was one girl I knew who didn't take anything from anyone - except the guy she liked - and she wasn't always very strong."
"In this world, everything is ruled by the World Government, which is made out of two parts - the Marines and the World Nobles. The Marines are manned almost entirely out of men, although I have heard of women getting as high as captain in the ranks. The other half, the World Nobles are people who have hold more power than any other group for no reason that I can comprehend. All they have is money, and that is easily stolen. There are women among the World Nobles, but they hold no real power. They might as well be breeding stock, for all the real power they have. We Kuja despise them as much as we do men for that weakness."
Naruto was left to digest that for the rest of the night, wondering what his world could have been like with women living in subservience like that all the time.
What if there had never been any kunoichi? What might have happened?
He decided to stop thinking about it and get some shut eye.
The next day, the trio crossed the mountains, coming across several of the woman's comrades. Naruto took a pee break to check on his clones. He had already alerted them to the whole gender issue, and they had Henged into women he had met in his journeys. They had finished checking out the island, and a group had returned to the house to set up barrier seals just in case. With that done, the trio continued their journey.
Exiting the mountain itself, Kimiko led them towards the valley held by the Kuja Tribe. They truly were a group of women fiercely independent from the male gender. How exactly they managed to continue their growth without a male was something that Naruto had only though briefly on before dismissing it as something too perverted to think about in the presence of two warrior women. It hadn't been until later that he remembered Kimiko mentioning women leaving the island to find men to sire children for them.
A woman and her friends, who were passing them in the road, greeted the ladies and stared at Naruto. It was rather obvious that they had never seen a man before, as they kept glancing at him, trying to find out what it was that set him apart.
"Kimiko, who is this woman you bring with you. She is no Kuja, I can tell you that much with ease. She doesn't seem to have any Haki, or at least she has never used it. And you brought a man into the village! You know it is forbidden!"
"Yes, I do know it is forbidden. That is why he shall be put into the holding cells until the woman and I can settle things. The circumstances behind it are rather extraordinary, though, so I think this might be an exception. The Empress will know what to do, though. Of that much I am sure."
"Very well Kimiko. Good day."
Continuing on through the village, they neared a palace that sat in the crest of the valley. The palace itself was rather beautiful, with lots of color and plenty of large openings to let sunlight in. Naruto wondered just what they did for fun, though, as it wouldn't be very easy to pull a prank in such an open place. Besides, even he knew not to mess with true art. It's why he always used washable paints on the Monument... well that and he knew they would make him clean it up. He also couldn't see these ladies taking up artsy things like basket-weaving and knitting. They just seemed too much the warrior to find any fun in such things.
Entering the palace, Naruto came face to face with one of the more beautiful women he had seen. She wasn't cute like Sakura and Hinata, nor was she hot like Anko. She was majestic and forbidding, like Kurenai-sensei or Yuki-hime. She had white hair, cut close to the line of her jaw, and a slim figure. Her face, though, spoke completely of authority. Though it looked truly kind, her expression managed to convey a sense of command that demanded compliance. "Thank you Kimiko, you may go. I am Edra Kiyane, Empress of the Kuja Tribe. Who are you, and how did you come to be on our island?"
Tsunade gave a short bow of her head, that of one high authority to another. "I am Senju Tsunade, Hokage of Konohagakure. The boy behind me is my subordinate, Uzumaki Naruto. We arrived here because of a technique handed down by his father which the boy was attempting to perform. Something went wrong, however, and pulled us through a portal, a sort of hole in the sky, dropping both myself, the boy and the estate he was living within into the forest that lies on the other side of the mountain."
"I was hoping you might have contact with someone outside of your island, but judging by both the vegetation and geography, I am almost certain this island lies completely outside of what is known to my village or any other village I have visited. I am willing to keep my subordinate within a one mile radius of his home until such time as we can arrange to move our things out of your domain, but until then, we must remain together. On these points there can be little negotiation, as we will need to vary hunting grounds to ensure that animals do not avoid us. If you could also provide us with a guide to help ensure that we do not accidentally ingest something poisonous, I would be very grateful."
"I can provide a guide for yourself, but the boy really must be sent off the island. I understand that he is your subordinate, for I have many of my own, but this land is for women and women alone. We can send him on a ship, as we operate a group of pirates to keep our waters clear of all ships but our own. However, he must not remain on the island."
Tsunade decided to try a bit of negotiation. "Why could he not stay here at least a little while? As I said before we are strangers in this land. I would most appreciate having the time for him to at least acquaint himself with the ways of this world, even if he must eventually be sent away."
Naruto decided now was the time to speak up. Amazingly, they had forgotten to lock him up in the process of deciding where he should go. "Hey now, I get that you don't like guys. If men in my village were even half the jerks that your men seem to be, I'm not sure it would still be standing. But that doesn't mean you can send me off without a by-your-leave. I already told your underling this, and I'll tell you the same thing. That house is all I have left from my parents. If you think you're going to send me away before I figure out how to take it with me, you've got another thing coming.
Kiyane narrowed her eyes, curious as to whether or not she should test this woman. "And why should I not just lock both of you up for this impudence? Strength or no strength, I cannot brook rebellion within my lands."
This was the last straw for Tsunade. It hadn't been the best morning, as her hangover was starting to kick in from a lack of alcohol, and now this prissy little bitch was trying to assert herself on two mother fucking ninja! She was about to get the reality check of her life!
"In this case," Tsunade remarked, her eyes darkening at the obvious challenge, "you might have to."
With that, Tsunade proceeded to stomp angrily into a nearby stand of trees, shattering the ground utterly with each step. A great cracking sound echoed in the palace as she ripped the two largest trees up by the roots with ease and slammed them together over her head, shattering both into splinters. Walking back towards the palace, she made sure to put force into her footsteps without it being obvious. She still managed to shatter the ground she walked on with each step.
"Now, do we have an accord your Highness," Tsunade questioned, "or will I need to make further... demonstrations. I must warn you, Empress; future shows of strength might not be so… benevolent."
The Empress, visibly shaken by the sheer power Tsunade demonstrated - without a drop of Haki - was quick to reply. She did not get her position by just being strong, and that wisdom showed in the full turnaround her attitude made after Tsunade blew off some steam. "I do not believe anyone will question your authority to do as you please while on this island, Tsunade-dono. I will warn the other Kuja of a man living on the other side of the island. They shouldn't bother you, but if they do please be merciful."
"I will show them whatever kindness they show me," Tsunade replied evenly. Her point made, the Godaime Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato walked out. Naruto followed her like a lost puppy. Sometimes he forgot just how strong Tsunade really was when she was taking things seriously.
On that day was born the legend of the True Kuja, a woman with the strength to shatter mountains with her bare hands and level entire armadas without receiving a single injury, whose gaze would destroy the spirits of even the strongest woman. Tsunade had made herself a goddess among the Kuja, women who revered strength as beauty. Even Boa Hancock, in her reign, would not lightly speak the name Tsunade of the Thousand Hands, the woman with the strength of a thousand warriors in each limb.