Note: So I finally set up a campaign. Link is on profile. Will be eternally grateful to anyone who supports.

Chapter 5

I can put a jacket on

Takao didn't hear from Midorima or Toujiro for a whole month. Kanako and her bridesmaids had gone to America to buy their dresses, and they would spend all of June there, escaping from Japan's rainy season, take a detour to Vegas and hold an anticipated bridal shower. Kanako had actually invited him to join them, but he'd refused saying he couldn't skip a full month of work. Meanwhile, Toujiro had gone back to Uji on a business trip. Takao's life seemed almost normal for a good while.

If anything, this whole experience had helped him appreciate the simple beauties in life. His ordinary job in Aida Kagetora's gymnasium, playing streetball on weekends, coaching elementary school kids, cooking his own meals, hanging out with his friends, reading a good book and studying to get his masters in Sports Education all seemed more fulfilling than they'd ever been. He'd never been so happy to wake up alone in his bed after a full night's sleep and with no ache or pain anywhere in his body. The scars from Toujiro's last visit had almost faded away too.

It made him realize he couldn't continue like this. Toujiro was never going to stop hurting him. If he put his mind to it, he should've realized it sooner. He'd always seemed a little bit too possessive, even before he turned violent, and he'd never told him a single gentle word. He'd never said he loved him –though in retrospect, Takao hadn't either-. Most of their dates had consisted of having expensive dinner as a prelude of Toujiro's favorite brand of rough sex, and whenever their eyes met, the only thing he saw was raw hunger, like a predator staring down at his prey. He remembered how Shin-chan used to look at him, pure love pouring out of his emerald eyes, and how that made his heart race. He'd probably been too blinded by the excitement of a new adventure to notice the signs before, but now he could tell that Toujiro had never seen him as anything more than a toy.

He made up his mind. He'd move out of this place, disappear from the radar for a little bit, give that man time to find himself a new toy and go back to his life. Maybe try to find real love somewhere else. He'd have to wait until the wedding had passed, and then he'd throw away his phone, maybe even find a new job or change cities so Toujiro couldn't find him. He saw hope over the horizon. Just three more months and he'd finally be free.

He got a call from Kanako on July 6th.

"Hi, Kazu-chan. Long time no see! How're you doing?"

He'd kind of hoped she wouldn't call anymore, although he knew the chances of that happening were exactly zero.

"I don't know if you're aware of it, but tomorrow…"

…is Shin-chan's birthday. Of course he knew. He could never forget such a special date. The last time they'd been together for Shin-chan's birthday, they'd gone to the local shrine to hang their wishes from the bamboo tree. He'd even convinced Shin-chan to wear a yukata, and he looked so manly and handsome in it Takao had wanted to ravish him.

"I wished that I can be with Shin-chan forever." He'd said with a playful grin on his face, and Shin-chan had blushed. "What about you?"

"It's none of your business." Was the reply, and the green-haired boy had blushed redder still. But when he wasn't looking, Takao peeked at the slit of paper (it was unmistakable, with Shin-chan's perfect calligraphy) and read: 'I wish that I can make Takao happy.'

It was the happiest moment of Takao's entire life.

"…tomorrow is our appointment with the tailor for Shin-chan's suit. Since it's bad luck that the bride sees the groom's suit before the wedding, will you come and help him? Without you, he'll want to wear one of those old-fashioned kimonos."

But Shin-chan looks so handsome in a kimono. If you're going to marry him, you should know that much at least.

"What about his birthday? You're not doing anything?" he almost regretted saying it.

"Shin-chan's birthday? Is it close? Now that I think about it, he's never mentioned it. Wow, that' so weird; we're getting married so soon and I don't even know when his birthday is."

His voice got caught in his throat. He didn't want to hate Kanako. She was smart, ambitious, beautiful, strong-willed and very kind. It wasn't her fault that things had gone badly between him and Shin-chan all those years ago. But she didn't know anything about Shin-chan, and cared so little about him and Takao couldn't stand that at all. Even if the indifference was mutual, he just didn't want to imagine his beloved Shin-chan tied down to a loveless marriage to please his father. It made him sad, and at the same time, reminded him of why he'd decided to break up seven years ago. It had been his one-sided decision, so he had no right to comment on Shin-chan's life choices, but it hurt to see how little he had changed over the years.

It was with reluctance that he showed up to their meeting spot next morning. Toujiro was still in Uji, so it was the first time he didn't have to hide any pain or limp in front of Midorima, and that was great. Kanako had already chosen a specific shop to get the suit made, so they wouldn't be jumping from shop to shop for twelve hours, which was a relief as well.

"Alright Kazu-chan, I'll leave him in your hands. Make him look handsome so all my friends will be jealous, please."

Kanako had a serious talent for being inadvertently cruel.

"Alright. None of us likes the situation, so let's try to cooperate to get it done quickly and please Kanako-san, shall we, Midorima?" the surname still felt alien on his tongue, as did using such a cold and distant tone with him.

The green-haired man nodded. "I don't wear formal western suits often, and it appears I have a bad taste for western clothing, so I'll trust your judgment on it."

Takao almost chuckled. He remembered the first time he went out with Shin-chan and saw him out of the school uniform, he was appalled at the weird color and pattern combinations he seemed to favor. Further dates just confirmed the fact that Midorima just had no sense of fashion, but Takao had found that cute in its own way.

"Well, let's go inside so they can take your measures and we'll work from there."

The store clerk was a tiny old man that reminded him of a mouse. He circled around him measuring every inch of his body against his tape and Midorima really had to wonder what he intended to do with all those numbers. "Waist 99 centimeters" he would say, and Takao would hum and scratch his chin. The man measured the length and width of his legs and arms, the circumference of his neck, the distance between his shoulder and elbow, elbow and wrist, wrist and thumb, the line of his chest, the distance from one shoulder to another, and at some point he started to get dizzy.

"May I bring you a catalog to show the different designs we can offer you?" the mousy old man offered when he was done measuring Midorima, who felt almost violated, and Takao nodded agreeably.

"What does he even need all those measurements for?" Midorima snapped once the man was gone, still feeling a little jumpy after having the man grope him all over.

"Don't be so difficult, he needs very precise measurements so the suit will fit you like a glove. They need to know all your body shapes and sizes to make them stand out in the best way. Seriously, Sh-Midorima, this is basic stuff, how come you don't know this?"

The green-haired doctor allowed himself a small smile when he realized he was able to speak to Takao normally. It was almost as if things could go back to how they used to be. Maybe he couldn't have Takao's heart back, but perhaps their friendship was not completely beyond repair, and that gave him just a tiny bit of hope.

The clerk came back with a large book with photographs of men in formal suits. The man would show them each picture and explain things about why this jacket was a good option or not. Takao would occasionally "oh" or "aaah" but to Midorima they all looked the same and it was all just massively confusing.

"Excuse me, could I see a sample of this one from Vera Wang, that looks nice… the Ralph Lauren could work… oh, I don't really fancy peak lapels, but you said this Joseph Abboud would look good on him? I'm sorry, I know that's a lot, I just want to make sure I get him the best, the bride wouldn't be happy if I can't get the groom in a decent suit… Yes just the jackets, please."

Midorima tried to go over that sentence half a dozen times and still couldn't understand anything about it.

"Since when did you become an expert on menswear?" he asked incredulously

Takao chuckled. "Oh, I'm not an expert, you're just completely clueless on how to dress yourself. I have the holy mission of making you look gorgeous for your wedding, and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

The clerk came back with the three jackets they'd asked for and Takao asked to be left alone so they could try them on. Midorima climbed on top of a small wooden pedestal in front of a mirror and held the first jacket. It was solid black and looked a little long. It looked like the classic wedding suit, and he really wondered why it was necessary to try on more than one when this one already looked decent enough.

Takao took the jacket away and circled around him, then climbed on the pedestal behind him. A chill went up Midorima's spine. The pedestal wasn't that big, so their bodies were barely inches apart.

"Arm, please?" Takao said, clearing his throat, apparently uncomfortable with their position too.

"I-I can put a jacket on by myself." He tried, still extending his right arm.

"This is an expensive designer jacket, I won't have you wrinkling it." The hawk eye breathed as he slid the sleeve over. Midorima could feel the ghost of Takao's hands going over his arm to pull the sleeve on, then around his back to fit the jacket over his shoulders and lastly on his left arm. His hands then slid around his neck to fix the collar and lapels, and once again down his back to straighten the fabric. His breathe hitched when the raven-haired man's slim arms circled around his waist to button up the jacket, his back was now touching the shorter man's chest. His fingers seemed to linger on top of the last button for just a second too long and time seemed to freeze in that instant.

Takao got off the pedestal to stand in front of him and scrutinized him from head to toe.

"Nope, not gonna work after all. That black is too harsh, it's drowning you. The shoulders are too small, you won't be able to move freely and your arms look thick rather than strong. Take it off, we'll try something else."

Midorima sighed. He didn't understand anything. Stiff shoulders? Thick arms? How could a color "drown" you? But he didn't know how to argue either and his heart was a little unstable after all that close proximity, so he just watched as Takao walked to the coat hanger, mumbling about getting something softer.

The second jacket had three buttons instead of just two, which meant it took Takao a few more seconds to button it up. For a short instant, Midorima contemplated about giving in to the embrace he had yearned for so long, but the instant was over and Takao pulled away once again as if nothing had happened.

"Oh no, three buttons looks terrible on you. This isn't doing anything for your waist, get it off now, it's offending my eyes."

The giant would've said that maybe as the groom-to-be he should have some say in his wedding suit, but he didn't care about what he would wear and he wanted to relish in every second he got to spend with Takao like this. For all he cared, it'd be better if Takao made him try on a hundred jackets. It would be hypocritical to say he didn't like the way the shorter man touched him to put the jackets on, even if that made him a cheater in mind.

The last jacket was of a dark gray color, and Midorima wondered if that was what Takao meant when he said that the pitch black was too strong. With each jacket, the raven-haired man's embrace seemed to linger a little bit longer, although whether he was doing it consciously, Midorima couldn't tell.

"Now that's what I'm talking about. This cut hugs your waist so nicely and it makes you look manly and dependable, but not rough, and strong but not dangerous… uhm… I'm just not convinced by this color, it's too bland…" he mused before walking out of the dressing room and calling the mousy clerk.

Midorima didn't know how he felt when he heard Takao talk like that. There was a glint in his eyes, reminiscent of the affection from the past, but his voice was cold and distant, and the way he acted seemed as if he was already embracing his role as the "best man".

The old man came back soon with another jacket. This one was certainly different from the previous three, and even Midorima could tell because instead of the dark palette that seemed customary for the occasion, this one was a clear ivory color that seemed to gleam just a little bit.

"Are you sure about this, mister? This is a difficult color to wear, and not so traditional."

"Don't worry, I think it'll work. If it doesn't, we'll try something else, we still have plenty of time."

Once again, Takao climbed on the pedestal to help him put the jacket on, and when he hugged him to do the buttons, there was no doubt that he was purposefully lingering even longer than before. When he climbed off and looked at Midorima, his clear eyes widened and he seemed to be caught out of breath.

"Is it bad? Should I take it off?" Midorima offered, since Takao seemed to be having trouble finding words.

The shorter man shook his head and flailed his arms a little bit too effusively. "No, no, no, not at all. Look at yourself, for crying out loud. You look perfect."

Takao had to bite his lip to keep from spilling more embarrassing words, but damn it was hard. Shin-chan looked beautiful, magnificent even. The shape of the jacket accentuated Midorima's slim waist and broad shoulders. He looked tall and mature, the kind of man you would want holding you in his arms for the rest of your life. The satin fabric was soft and light, Shin-chan shouldn't be uncomfortable even if he had to wear it all day long. The ivory color gave him a special radiance and made his gorgeous eyes stand out like real emeralds. He was overwhelmed by the sight, his heart was beating so fast he feared it might burst.

"Seriously, look at yourself. That cut is perfect, you look very handsome. Once you get it tailored it'll be even better. And that color really brings your eyes out. Kanako-san's friends will all be very jealous of her."

As am I.

"Did you say something just now, Takao?"

He bit his tongue. He needed to keep the words from spilling any further and risk putting them both in an awkward position. "Nothing. I was just thinking whether to order a black shirt or a white one, what do you think? White is more wedding-like, but I think the black one would make it edgier and more elegant."

Midorima was looking at himself in the mirror, and clearly had no clue of what Takao meant at all. At least he seemed slightly pleased with the sight that met him.

"Do whatever you think is best. You clearly have a better eye for these things, I trust you'll make the most appropriate decision."

I don't think I can be a fair judge though. I'm not really sure if I want you to be this beautiful for her.

After they'd made the order and been told to come back in two weeks to pick up the tailored suit, they received a call from Kanako asking how they were doing. Midorima told her that everything was decided already and hung up without any more idle chat. Then he turned to Takao and pushed his glasses up his nose, like he did when he was nervous.

"Would you like to have something to eat? My treat. I'll drive you home later."

Takao knew he should refuse the offer. His body and tongue had already betrayed him more than a handful of times when Shin-chan was trying the jackets on. But the rational side of him decided to go on vacation, so instead he smiled and said yes.

They went to a local family restaurant that Shin-chan liked because they served cool shiruko during the summer. Some things never changed. They sat near the window, so their table was pleasantly lit by the sun and waited for their food in comfortable silence, completely different to the heavy atmosphere of their previous meetings.

It was Shin-chan who broke the silence once their drinks had arrived.

"I never asked you what you're doing now. You were majoring in Sports Education, right?"

Takao noticed Shin-chan had been less reluctant to meet his eyes today. Maybe their friendship was still salvageable? Maybe if they kept this going, he would eventually be able to tell him about everything that was going on. Maybe Shin-chan would be able to save him… He shook his head. Going back to "just friends" had always been out of the question, that was the exact reason he'd cut off all communications in the first place. They weren't even friends properly right now and he could barely hold back his feelings. No, he'd already made up his mind. No white knight would save him, he'd save himself. Shin-chan was to be married, and he was going to see this wedding through before starting his life anew.

"Yeah, I'm taking a Master's degree now. And I've been working in a gym and coaching a mini basket team in my days off. I also have my own team, we've been doing great in the local tournament."

Midorima smiled softly and Takao's heart melted. Shin-chan shouldn't be able to do this to him after all these years, but here he was, proving he could. "I'm glad to hear that. You've always been skilled at making strategies and have a good eye to work through any player's weaknesses, any professional team would be lucky to have you."

Takao knew he meant every word and it made him all fuzzy inside. Why was he letting him get married to a girl he didn't love? Why did they break up in the first place? It all seemed so insignificant now.

Shin-chan's phone buzzed and he picked it up to see a text message on the screen. He sighed. "Forgive me, I'll have to excuse myself from lunch. I forgot my father wanted me to attend a business meeting with Kanako's family. I'm truly sorry."

Business, that's why. Takao remembered as the answer to all of his questions. This was for the best, he needed to stop getting crazy hopeful ideas. Whatever they'd had was long over, they were different people with different paths now.

"It's okay, don't worry. I know you're busy. You can go ahead, I'll cancel our order."

"No, please don't do that. I'll pay for your meal; it's the least I can do to make it up to you."

Takao couldn't keep arguing, Shin-chan's kindness was too much for him to bear, so he sat and watched the man he loved rush out of the restaurant to meet his future in-laws. Because this couldn't be more fucked up than it already was.

He fished for his phone in his pocket and felt a small box tied with a silk bow. Ah, that's right. He'd bought Shin-chan a birthday present, but hadn't found the right moment to give it to him. In a rush of impulsiveness, he dashed out of the restaurant. It was just fortunate that Shin-chan was so much taller than the average Japanese, and that his hair was green to boot, so he didn't have a problem finding him in the crowd.

"SHIN-CHAN!" he yelled, and the green head turned to look at him, emerald eyes wide with shock. Takao realized his mistake. "I-I uhm… I just…" he fingered the box in his pocket and remembered its content: a golden chain with a small feather-shaped pendant. Oha-Asa had said a feather was Cancer's lucky item for today. "I forgot to…" no, this wasn't appropriate. Jewelry was a present for lovers, not for soon to be married, barely even friends, ex-boyfriends. Shin-chan didn't even wear jewelry, actually, what had he been thinking? He let go of the box. "I just… forgot to say happy birthday. So… Happy Birthday, Midorima."

Once again, they both seemed to let go of the breath they'd been holding. This time it was definitely disappointment.

To be continued

This is one of my favorite chapters, if I'm completely honest. Both of their feelings are starting to overflow and there's a lot of longing and hope and then just a lot of sadness because they can't be together. I also didn't want Takao to be a helpless victim all along, I wanted to show him try and fight for his freedom and it has to start with him deciding he's going to save himself and not stand up for this crap any longer.

If you want to look at what Shin-chan's wedding suit looks like, find me on tumblr (link on my profile). I just really like the idea of him wearing a white/ivory suit, I really think it'll bring out his eyes. All the other suits mentioned here are on the same website