Chapter Seven

Artemis was having wonderful dreams, dreams that involved soft lips on his throat, then on his chest, and long fingers that were entwined with his. It took him some time to realise that he was already half awake and that these caresses were real.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Jarlaxle lying in his arms, awake and once again touching his body as enthusiastically as he had on the previous evening. Artemis laid a hand on the drow's cheek, looking him in the eyes before he kissed him.

"Good morning," Jarlaxle said with a smile, trailing one finger over the human's stubbly cheek.

"Isn't it a bit early to wake me?" Artemis asked, knowing that elves needed less time to rest than humans. Jarlaxle had always been awake before him, but he usually left his companion alone - the assassin was even grumpier when he didn't get enough sleep.

The only answer he received was an amused chuckle while Jarlaxle nodded towards the window - light flooded into the room at the edges of the curtain, not the first morning rays, but bright daylight. It had to be late in the morning, maybe already noon. Artemis arched an eyebrow in surprise, but then he remembered that they hadn't fallen asleep until the early morning hours. Still, the assassin started to get up, but Jarlaxle held him back.

"What? I thought that you wanted to reach Ilmwatch today? You've been talking about seeing the sea for weeks," Artemis stated, but he didn't struggle when Jarlaxle pushed him again on his back and snuggled against him.

"Yes, that's what I planned to do," the drow answered with a wry smile. "But it's still a day's journey until Ilmwatch, we won't make it today. So we can just as well stay here and travel on tomorrow. I can wait another day to see the ocean ... Right now I have something far more beautiful to explore."

Artemis shook his head in disbelief - even after the long months he had spent with Jarlaxle the drow still surprised him. But Jarlaxle was, of course, right. Somehow, the insane drow always seemed to be right.

"And what are we going to do here, in a small village on the road?" the assassin asked sceptically, ignoring the last remark. He doubted that the drow had been serious about it - even Jarlaxle couldn't be so unsatiable to want still more after such a passionate night. But Artemis was underestimating his companion yet again.

"What do you think of 'staying in bed all day long'?" Jarlaxle suggested, playing with a curl of the human's black hair. It was thick and soft, and it felt very different from the silky elven hair of Jarlaxle's drow lovers. And what amazed him even more was that the hair on the human's chest, arms and legs felt different yet again, and to Jarlaxle's mind it only enhanced the beauty of Artemis' trained body.

"I still haven't shown you everything I can do with my tongue ... You fell asleep too early," Jarlaxle added with a pout after a few moments he had spent contemplating the human.

"You didn't look as if you had been unsatisfied," Artemis protested, slightly offended by Jarlaxle's complaint. By the way, he wasn't young anymore. Jarlaxle could hardly expect a man in his mid forties to have as much stamina as a drow.

"Don't worry, I was very satisfied. The shade's lifeforce has apparently restored your physical fitness to that of a younger man in every aspect," the drow chuckled. He looked at the assassin with such a tenderness that Artemis forgot every offence and felt just grateful for everything his companion had given him. In this moment Jarlaxle didn't even seem annoying anymore, only caring and loving. And most of all, Jarlaxle had helped him to forget his pain and his worries for at least one night.

Artemis frowned suddenly. True enough, he hadn't wasted a single thought on Kimmuriel since the previous evening, but he realised that his feelings for the psionicist hadn't simply disappeared. It unnerved Artemis that even the wonderful night with Jarlaxle hadn't freed him from them. How could he still feel such a burning desire and longing for a man he hated more passionately than ever before?

Jarlaxle apparently believed that Artemis' frown was still a reaction to his little barb, for he didn't look concerned at all. He placed a few tender kisses on Artemis' cheek before he pulled back again.

"Would you mind shaving before we start our day in bed?" the drow asked with a wide smile, so charming that his request seemed almost friendly, as if he had just suggested something Artemis would enjoy greatly. As much as Jarlaxle was fascinated by his human lover, he found the feeling of the raw stubble on his tender skin rather unpleasant.

The assassin's frown deepened - Jarlaxle's words reminded him painfully of Kimmuriel's comment on his beard. But he nodded after a few moments and got out of bed. Jarlaxle had done so much for him, so Artemis could do him this little favour now. Especially as he himself didn't like to be unshaved; it offended his sense for discipline and control.

A tiny smile crept onto his lips while he started to rummage in his pack in search of his razor. Despite these bleak thoughts that had come to him in the last minutes, he felt quite good. Jarlaxle was an amazing lover, the night had been great, the day would probably be just as pleasurable, and with a bit of luck Kimmuriel wouldn't ever bother with him again after their last dispute.

Still, Artemis couldn't help but wonder if he really wanted Kimmuriel to stay away from him.

They travelled to Ilmwatch on the next day and reached the city in the early evening hours. Had it not been for Artemis' unwillingness to spend another day in bed - something that seemed incredibly decadent to the disciplined assassin - their journey would probably have been delayed even more.

Ilmwatch was a rather unremarkable town, the most interesting part being the port. As soon as they had found an inn that seemed good enough to the drow, Jarlaxle virtually dragged his companion to the docks, fascinated by the boats and the sea like a small child. It wasn't the first time Jarlaxle saw the ocean - he had been in Calimport, after all - but back then, he had been too focused on his business and later on the crystal shard to truly appreciate the beauty and the wonders of the sea and the men who lived with her. But now, the drow was having the time of his life, asking the most detailed question to the sailors, chatting excitedly about the boats and exclaiming again and again that that the surface was truly beautiful.

Entreri was rather bored by all of it, as he had spent nearly his whole life close to the sea, first in Memnon and later in Calimport. The assassin was tired from a long day on the road, and the only thing he wanted now was a fine meal, a bath and a bed with Jarlaxle in it. He smirked at the thought for a second, but he banned it from his mind immediately. Right now, he had to accompany Jarlaxle on his tour. As charming as the drow was, he might easily get attacked or at least ignored by the superstitious sailors. Having a human by his side - a human who looked decidedly dangerous, but at least not like a madman - kept the drow out of trouble. Artemis didn't realise that he was actually feeling protective for his friend.

After some time, however, news of the drow had spread throughout the haven, and along with it the assurance that this particular dark elf was a rather curious, but not very dangerous fellow. Deciding that Jarlaxle would be able to continue his excursion alone - and knowing that, if anything should happen, Jarlaxle was very well able to take care of himself - Artemis left his friend and returned to the inn.

The human allowed himself a long bath, relaxing his weary muscles. He noticed that his new closeness to Jarlaxle was almost making him soft: he had spent a whole day in bed, he enjoyed his bath much more than he had in a long time, and the next night would probably be as agitated as the last ones. Artemis doubted that he would be able to get up early in the next morning if Jarlaxle again didn't let him sleep, and the assassin usually hated to stay in bed too long. Curiously, the thought didn't offend him very much right now. Being with Jarlaxle felt too good to regret anything, and Artemis refused to brood too much over the last two days. Brooding always led his thoughts back to Kimmuriel, and the assassin definitely did not want to think about this particular drow.

When Artemis went back to his room - once again a room he shared with Jarlaxle - the mercenary leader hadn't returned yet. The assassin grinned slightly, certain that the fishermen and sailors would continue to talk about that outrageous, eccentric drow for some time. It actually didn't bother him that Jarlaxle wasn't there yet - he looked forward to the night, but he also enjoyed to have a bit more time for himself again. Artemis had been a loner since his childhood, and it was often exhausting for him to have someone around him all the time - especially someone as talkative and demanding as Jarlaxle.

Clad in comfortable trousers instead of his usual leather breeches, wearing neither boots nor a shirt, the human sat down on a chair and started to play with his dagger, lazily turning it around in his hands, watching with never-ending fascination the reflection of light on the jewels. Artemis wasn't a man who appreciated beauty very much - he held no interest in sculptures, architecture or music, he could never enjoy a beautiful landscape or a sunny day as much as Jarlaxle, and he tended to see everything from a more practical point of view. Yet he had always been intrigued by his vampiric dagger, his trademark weapon and one of the rare objects that were, in Artemis Entreri's opinion, truly beautiful. Had he been asked about it, he would have claimed that the dagger was nothing more than a useful tool. But in truth, he was really fond of this weapon that had been on his hip and in his hand for more than half of his life, the weapon that had saved his life countless times. Although he would never admit it, he had missed the dagger after losing it in one fight against Drizzt, and he had indeed been glad to retrieve it.

Artemis turned the weapon again, flinching suddenly when he saw the reflection of a gleaming blue gate on the blade. Cursing himself silently for relaxing too much and letting his guard down, the assassin virtually jumped on his feet and stared at Kimmuriel when the psionicist stepped into the room.

To Artemis' utter surprise, the drow looked neither angry and aggressive nor seductive - he seemed humiliated. He appeared like someone who wanted to admit a mistake and didn't know how to do it. They looked at each other for several seconds, the human wondering about this strange facial expression, the drow searching for the right words.

But then Kimmuriel's gaze fell on the still visible mark on Artemis' throat, and the assassin felt the psionic intrusion only a second later. It was nothing more than a short scan of his current thoughts before Kimmuriel pulled back, but it was enough to tell the psionicist exactly what had happened.

The look of uncertainty and hesitation gave way to a look of pure hatred and reproach.

"And you dare to tell me that I am playing with you? So much for the sincerity of your feelings," the drow hissed in a sarcastic voice that failed to hide his disappointment completely. "You were rather quick to replace me with Jarlaxle. Did he lower himself to what I refused to do?"

"I do not think you are in the position to reproach me with anything after what you did to me," Artemis replied, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible. He didn't want to lose control again; he had to lock up his anger at Kimmuriel's acid words and at his insult at Jarlaxle, because it was the only way to lock up his longing for the psionicist, too.

"At least I have been thinking about what has happened, while you had apparently much fun since our last meeting," Kimmuriel growled, struggling to keep his voice low. He hated to lose his temper; it was a sign of weakness, and if Artemis apparently didn't care about him, why should Kimmuriel show him any weakness?

"And to which conclusion have your thoughts brought you?" the human asked, trying to appear distant and bored, as if Kimmuriel's visit was only an annoyance to him.

"Now that I see what you have done, my only conclusion is that I have been a fool," the drow replied with a surprising bitterness in his usually so smooth voice. His words and the painful gleam in his beautifully shaped eyes stung the assassin harder than he cared to admit. "Tell me, Entreri, did you just want a drow in your bed, not caring if it was me or Jarlaxle? Or did you think that it might hurt me if you slept with him? Or are you really just a cheap whore who -"

"Shut up!" Artemis almost yelled these words, surprised by his own outburst. He couldn't stand the drow's false accusations, he was pained by the little sting of guilt that told him that he had acted wrongly when he had slept with Jarlaxle, and that Kimmuriel called him once again by his last name was like a slap in his face. He had liked the way the psionicist had pronounced his first name, and Kimmuriel's calling him 'Entreri' reminded him of the time when they had been bitter enemies.

Equally surprised by this uncharacteristic tone, Kimmuriel fell silent and stared at Artemis, while the human averted his eyes and seemed hopelessly confused. The drow bit on his lip, pondering for several moments what he should do. He had been determined to apologise when he had come here - he hadn't known how to do it, but he had been ready to acknowledge that he had made a mistake. He had wanted to explain why this was so difficult for him, to assure Artemis that he cared, that he wanted for them to be together, if he just knew how.

Kimmuriel had been ready to do something he had never done before: to recognise his feelings for this human, and to tell him about them. And when he had come here, he had seen that Artemis hadn't wasted a thought on him since their last dispute, that he had turned away from him and replaced him with - of all people - his annoying former leader. Artemis probably didn't even want to hear an apology.

The drow swallowed, trying to regain his composure. Hurting, raping the human as a punishment was no option anymore. Kimmuriel wouldn't be able to do it, and if Artemis was by now Jarlaxle's lover and not only his friend, the dangerous mercenary would hardly let Kimmuriel get away with this. Should he simply leave and forget Artemis? It would be the most reasonable thing to do, but it was impossible. Now that he had finally recognised his feelings, even started to accept them and decided to show them, he couldn't go back to suppressing them. No, he wanted to stay with Artemis. He wanted another chance.

"Artemis," Kimmuriel said quietly after a few minutes, looking up at the human, who had turned his back to him, although they were quite close to each other. "I am ... You don't understand."

Kimmuriel cursed himself silently. Wonderful, he wanted to reach out to the human, and the first thing he said was a reproach.

"You have seen Menzoberranzan, you have seen that there is no place for feelings in my world. And judging from what I have seen in Calimport, there is no place for them in yours either," he continued. This time, Artemis turned around and stared at the drow in surprise. Not only was Kimmuriel showing some comprehension for Artemis, he also made the effort to speak common suddenly.

"It's not any easier for me to accept these emotions than it is for you. They make us vulnerable, we both agree on that. And yet we are both incapable of getting rid of them. We just have ... different ways to express our ... fear." Kimmuriel's voice had become lower with every word, and he had averted his gaze now, staring at his fine boots.

"So you wanted to rape me because you were afraid?" Artemis snarled, but his voice was less aggressive than he wanted it to be. "You insulted and threatened me because you were afraid? I was no threat to you!"

"Yes, you were a threat to me," Kimmuriel replied softly, looking up with wide eyes. He seemed again so incredibly young in this moment. "You made me weak, and I wanted to destroy the source of this dangerous weakness. I was afraid because I didn't understand what happened to me. It was the first time I had ever to deal with something my mind couldn't handle. I hated you for ... inspiring this feeling in me."

Artemis wanted to make a sarcastic remark, to tell the drow to keep his lies to himself and leave, but he was too amazed and dumbfounded by Kimmuriel's frankness. He had never believed him capable of being so honest, of admitting his fears and feelings to himself, let alone to someone else. Artemis himself wouldn't be able to say such things he had just heard from Kimmuriel. He couldn't dismiss the fact that Kimmuriel had just shown him some trust - not by giving over control to Artemis in bed, but by overcoming what he had been taught since his birth: that feelings should be suppressed and hidden.

But Entreri scolded himself as soon as his initial surprise faded. He glared at Kimmuriel coldly, and his aggressive body language made the unsure drow back off until he touched the wall.

"I will not fall for this again," Artemis promised with a sneer, trying to convince himself as much as Kimmuriel.

"Yes, you will," Kimmuriel replied after a moment he needed to compose himself again. He hadn't just made the probably biggest effort of his life to give up so easily now. "Because you know that I've said the truth. Because you want to be with me and not with Jarlaxle."

Artemis grew suddenly pale and started to turn away. He had almost forgotten his friend in face of Kimmuriel's surprising behaviour. He longed for Kimmuriel, even if his mind refused to acknowledge it, and the drow's honesty had given him hope again. But could he just leave Jarlaxle after what his friend had done for him? Did he not prefer to be with Jarlaxle rather than with this selfish, indecisive psionicist?

He felt Kimmuriel's hand taking his own, squeezing it gently. The drow made a small step forward to close the distance between them and leaned against Artemis' chest, looking up to him with that rare and all the more precious smile.

"Just give me time," Kimmuriel whispered in a soft voice, a voice that held nothing of the hatred and disdain Artemis had grown used to. It was only a short moment until his eyes became harder again, but it was an honest promise Artemis couldn't dismiss, as hard as he might try. He realised that Kimmuriel was right - this was what he wanted.

Artemis still hesitated for a while, just staring at the slender drow, repeating in his mind everything Kimmuriel had said today, every look he had given him, every change in his voice. Yet when Kimmuriel tentatively laid his lips on Artemis', asking for a kiss rather than kissing him, the assassin cast his doubts aside and wrapped one arm around the drow's body, a tender gesture that was followed by a deep, intense kiss.

Kimmuriel closed his eyes and pressed himself to the human, aching for as much physical contact as possible. He felt strangely comforted and safe in Artemis' arms, and at the same time aroused and longing for more than only sweet kisses. The drow wondered if anything had ever seemed so perfect, so right to him as this, and he knew - even without using his psionical powers - that Artemis was certainly thinking and feeling the same.

The squeal of the opening door shattered the moment's bliss, and although Kimmuriel and Artemis parted immediately, it was evident what had just happened between them. Both were breathing heavily, and their eyes held the confused and surprised expression of someone who had been wakened in the midst of a dream.

Jarlaxle's hand lay still on the doorknob, and his beaming, happy smile vanished in the blink of an eye, replaced by a blank, shocked expression. He hardly took notice of Kimmuriel, but he gave Artemis a look of such helpless disappointment that it pained the assassin more than a slap in the face.

For the first time in the long years they had known him Artemis and Kimmuriel saw Jarlaxle so shaken that the mercenary leader seemed incapable of uttering one single word.