Chapter Eight

They didn't move or talk for several moments, each one of them too surprised and shocked to react. Artemis and Jarlaxle were staring at each other, Kimmuriel felt uncomfortable and more and more angry at this disturbance. Yet he held his tongue, knowing that this was above all something between Artemis and Jarlaxle.

It was Jarlaxle who regained his composure first. With distressing calm he finally closed the door behind him, but he didn't approach them further. His usually so cheerful voice was grave and strained when he said, "So you have made your choice."

It wasn't a question, but a statement spoken with complete certainty. Jarlaxle continued before the human could answer, "You will regret it, Artemis. He will hurt you again, and I promise that I won't be there for you anymore."

Kimmuriel tensed at these words, anger flickering through his eyes. He wouldn't allow Jarlaxle to drive a wedge between them again by inspiring more doubts in the already uncertain human. But he bit back a retort when he felt Artemis' hand softly grasping his wrist to hold him back. The assassin let go only a second later, and his eyes never left Jarlaxle.

"Jarlaxle, I am -" he started after another pause, not exactly knowing what he was going to say. Words were not Entreri's strength, at least not when it came to talking about feelings. And even if he had been more eloquent in such situations, he knew that there was no excuse for his behaviour of the last days.

"You are a disappointment," Jarlaxle cut him short, his tone somewhere between angry and pained. "No better than any drow."

Artemis was struggling for words, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He wanted to apologise, to explain himself, to make that horrible expression on Jarlaxle's face go away, but he couldn't. Jarlaxle was right. Artemis had betrayed him, he had treated him worse than his greatest enemy - and certainly not like one should treat a friend.

The assassin just bit on his bottom lip and averted his eyes, feeling very much like a dog who got beaten by his master and who knew very well that he deserved that beating. He flinched when Jarlaxle approached him suddenly, completely ignoring Kimmuriel, and whispered in his ear, "I can only hope that he'll hurt you well and leave you bleeding on the floor once he's finished with you."

Jarlaxle halted for a moment, as if pondering what to do now, before he turned on his heel and left the room as quickly as he had entered it. Even after the door had been closed over a minute passed until Artemis and Kimmuriel stirred.

The drow took the human's hand again, laying his other hand on Artemis' cheek to turn his face and look him in the eyes. The numb, pained expression in them made Kimmuriel wince.

"Don't believe him, Artemis," he whispered quietly, caressing the human's cheek. Despite his tenderness his voice remained strict and calm, admonishing rather than comforting. "I won't hurt or leave you. You have made your choice; so have I. Don't think about him anymore."

Artemis blinked and sighed deeply. He didn't answer at first, as if he hadn't heard what the drow had said.

"Do you not understand? Jarlaxle was my friend, he did so much for me, and I did this to him. I can't go on as if nothing had happened," he explained after a long pause, impatience in his voice. Artemis didn't notice how easily he called the drow his friend now after having rejected the very idea of friendship for most of his life.

"Your friend? His words today were hardly friendly, now were they?" Kimmuriel replied coldly. It annoyed him that Artemis was, or had been, so close to Jarlaxle. "What is your problem? Are you actually feeling guilty? I thought you were above such feelings."

"So now you think that I am weak because I care."

Artemis shook his head and turned away, not wanting to see Kimmuriel's almost self-righteous face right now. He had just lost his only friend through his own foolishness and lack of discipline, and Kimmuriel was hardly helping him with his cold rationality. Usually Artemis would have agreed that caring for someone was a weakness, but his friendship with Jarlaxle had changed his opinion on this quite a bit.

Realising that he was on the verge of ruining everything again, the psionicist forced himself to calm down and show some consideration.

"No. I'm just saying that it serves no purpose to think about him now, or to regret what you have done. You can't change it anymore."

"But I have to talk to him," Artemis looked again at Kimmuriel, his eyes almost pleading. How should they stay together if the drow was unable to understand him in such a crucial situation? "Now. I will return to you, but I need to talk to him first."

"You want me to wait here while you're apologising to him?" the drow asked incredulously. Artemis just nodded. Kimmuriel stared at him for several moments before he sighed and shook his head in resignation.

"I have really no idea why I am doing this," he mumbled while he sank on a chair. "Go, if you're convinced that you have to. Although I don't know what you're going to tell him, and I doubt that he'll listen."

Artemis made a face - as if he knew what he was going to say. He quickly kissed Kimmuriel on the cheek, mumbling a "thank you" before he left the room and went down to the main room of the tavern. He could only hope that Jarlaxle hadn't just left without saying a word, but the innkeeper answered to his question that the drow had just taken another room in the tavern. At the same time relieved and anxious about the certainly awkward discussion that awaited him, the assassin made his way to Jarlaxle's room.

There was no answer at first when he knocked, but the door was opened after a minute by a decidedly weary looking Jarlaxle. Artemis couldn't get rid of the impression that the drow's eyes were even redder than usual, as if he had cried. Not wanting to talk about this on the corridor, the assassin just entered the room and waited until Jarlaxle had closed the door.

"If you want to apologise, or if you want to explain yourself, just go away. I'm tired of you," Jarlaxle said icily, staring at the human with hatred that was partly feigned, partly genuine. "I might have accepted that you prefer him to me, but nothing you could say can make me accept your betrayal."

"I don't want to justify anything I did, Jarlaxle, but I ... I wasn't myself. I wasn't reasonable," Artemis started, embarrassed by every single word that came out of his mouth and that sounded horribly hypocritical and inappropriate to him. Yet he had no idea what to say instead. He had told Jarlaxle that he didn't want Kimmuriel anymore, he had slept with him, he had given him hope although he had known all the time, somewhere inside of him, that the one he truly loved was Kimmuriel. As Jarlaxle had stated - nothing Artemis could say would change that or make it any more acceptable.

"I don't want to hear it, Artemis," Jarlaxle interrupted him. "This is over. Now go back to Kimmuriel. We don't want you to lose your friend and your lover at the same time, do we? You should enjoy his pretty body in your bed as long as he still wants you. Considering how broken you are he probably won't take long to grow tired of you. Tired of your constant bad humour, of your indecisiveness, of your ingratitude."

There was a flicker of cruel amusement in Jarlaxle's eyes, but Artemis could recognise that it was only faked, a desperate attempt to hurt him. Knowing this didn't change the fact that it was a successful attempt, for the assassin felt deeply wounded by Jarlaxle's words. It shocked him to see such coldness, such pain in his joyful companion, and he couldn't help but wonder if Jarlaxle hadn't been thinking of him as 'broken' all the time.

Utterly defeated, the human turned to leave, but before he could touch the door knob, Jarlaxle's last words finished him off.

"You were right about one thing, though," Jarlaxle said, pausing for a moment before he continued, "Only a fool would trust you."

Artemis froze in place, but he couldn't master the courage to answer or to turn around and face Jarlaxle. When he left the room his slumped, tired composure didn't even remind of the strength and confidence he usually radiated.

Kimmuriel was consequently worried when Artemis returned only a few minutes after he had left him. The drow stood up and went over to the assassin, softly grasping his shoulders and looking him in the eyes. Artemis' bottom lip trembled, and if it hadn't been for decades of self-discipline, he would have been incapable of holding back the tears.

"He didn't listen to you, did he?" Kimmuriel whispered, himself surprised that he was bothering to comfort someone who was so openly displaying his weakness. It didn't cease to amaze him how strong these feelings were, how strangely they made him act. Artemis' obvious distress worried Kimmuriel so much that he even managed to suppress his former anger.

"Maybe he will tomorrow, or in a few days," the drow said hesitantly in a somewhat clumsy try to offer comforting words. "I would definitely be more grateful for your attention than he is now."

Artemis looked at the drow and managed a strained grin, before he softly stroke Kimmuriel's cheek. Seeing the honest affection in Kimmuriel's eyes - though it would still have been invisible to a less attentive observer - his doubts were lifted. Kimmuriel still seemed uncertain and even volatile, as if some part of him continued to revolt against his feelings, but he had finally stopped playing games with the assassin.

Convinced that he had truly lost Jarlaxle's friendship Artemis recognised that he had to hold on to what he had now - and feelings or no feelings, Kimmuriel was definitely not patient enough to bear Artemis' self-hatred and desperation for the whole night.

Trying to banish every thought of Jarlaxle just like he had always suppressed painful thoughts, Artemis drew Kimmuriel closer to him and kissed him. Although he couldn't enjoy this kiss as completely as their first kiss of the evening, it still felt good and right to have 'his' drow in his arms.

Kimmuriel simply snuggled against him, returning the kiss with equal devotion. Artemis' and Jaraxle's dispute had been a rather fortunate incident in his eyes: He doubted that Artemis would two-time him again, and it relieved him that he didn't have to share the human's affection with Jarlaxle anymore.

The psionicist enjoyed their intimacy in silence for a while until he whispered, "Do you realise that we have spent only two nights together, and in one of them we did nothing but sleep in the same bed?"

It struck him as odd that so little had happened between them. It seemed to him as if a very long time had passed since the day he had decided to seduce Entreri - Entreri, not Artemis - just to torment him. But it had been only a few weeks, weeks in which they had more often insulted each other than they had shown their true feelings.

Artemis blinked and seemed to ponder this question, apparently just as surprised at this fact as Kimmuriel. Yet a small smile found its way soon enough to his features.

"And you want to change that tonight?" he asked, unsure how he should feel about this idea. Sure, he desired Kimmuriel, but he wasn't in a very passionate mood after his dispute with Jarlaxle. What he had done to his companion burdened him and prevented him from turning his attention completely to Kimmuriel.

The drow didn't bother to answer but simply pressed himself closer to Artemis and kissed him. He sensed the human's hesitation, yet he certainly didn't want to wait for such a longed-for night just because of troublesome Jarlaxle! The mercenary leader had pushed himself between them once already, and Kimmuriel wouldn't allow this to happen a second time. Artemis was his now, and the drow showed this claim again with a demanding kiss.

How could Artemis do anything else but respond?

Yet when they parted again, Artemis shook his head and gave Kimmuriel an apologising look.

"I can't," he said helplessly. "Not now."

Kimmuriel had difficulties to suppress his renewed anger. He felt the urge to go to Jarlaxle and rip his heart out for making this already unmanageable situation even more complicated, and he wanted to yell at Artemis to get his so-called friend out of his mind. But he knew by now that getting angry led to nothing with Artemis Entreri. And although being understanding and indulgent was completely against his nature, Kimmuriel wanted at all costs to stay with this human and make him feel better. If that meant waiting, then he had to wait for once. He was drow, after all: if he didn't get something by asking bluntly for it, he would try a more indirect approach.

"Then you should at least get a bit of rest and relax," he purred into Artemis' ear. The human didn't object this time and simply went over to his bed - a bed he had even an hour ago intended to share with Jarlaxle tonight. Trying to shake off this thought, Artemis put off his boots and lay down. He felt suddenly tired, exhausted from too many disputes and problems, from the gnawing guilt he had been immune to for most of his life.

Despite his bad conscience for maltreating Jarlaxle, he couldn't help but smile when Kimmuriel joined him in bed. Artemis put an arm around the drow's delicate body, once again delighted by the soft, smooth skin on his bare back. He noticed suddenly that Kimmuriel, like Jarlaxle, had almost no scars, unlike many drow males Artemis had seen in Menzoberranzan and whose backs were often covered with marks of countless beatings. And while Jarlaxle had, from what Artemis knew, led a rather unusual life, Kimmuriel had grown up in a normal drow House.

"Shouldn't you have scars?" Artemis mumbled, contemplating the drow thoughtfully.

Kimmuriel winced a bit at this question. This was hardly a subject he was fond of, but he wouldn't let an opportunity to divert Artemis from Jarlaxle pass by. Snuggling closer to the human and tenderly stroking his chest and abdomen - with not entirely innocent thoughts passing through his mind - he answered slowly, "The females of my former House were very picky, they didn't want any marred skin on their playthings. That's why they always made sure that even the worst beatings left no marks."

The psionicist sighed, but a smile crept on his lips when Artemis hugged him more tightly, offering a silent apology for starting such a touchy subject. Kimmuriel easily shrugged his gloomy memories away, focusing instead on Artemis.

The human was slowly relaxing beside him; his muscles became less tense when Kimmuriel continued to caress his taut body. The drow wasn't actually giving him a massage - he wouldn't lower himself so readily to what he considered a slave's task - but the caresses and simply the knowledge that he wasn't alone took a considerable amount of tension from Artemis.

Soon enough Artemis closed his eyes, and his dispute with Jarlaxle seemed more and more distant to him with Kimmuriel in his arms. He even got a bit sleepy after a while, and thus he didn't react immediately when the drow started to suck and nibble on his earlobe, without ceasing his slow, almost thoughtful strokes over the human's chest.

Kimmuriel took his time, not wanting to anger Artemis, but whatever the human's reason and conscience might tell him, his body definitely reacted to the nimble touches. Yet when his light, almost innocent caresses failed to push the reluctant human into action, Kimmuriel switched his tactic to obtain what he desired. If tenderness had worked perfectly to make Artemis relax, it needed more aggressiveness to get something in return. Kimmuriel hardly saw himself as tricking the human, but rather as helping him to get what he wanted anyway.

He thought for a moment before undressing completely, then he proceeded to open Artemis' trousers and slid one hand into them. When he looked up at Artemis, he saw that the human had opened his eyes again, and his gaze showed that he was torn between lust and principle. Kimmuriel halted for a moment, giving Artemis the most seducing and promising smile he could manage, and after long moments the human nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Wise choice," Kimmuriel growled quietly, though his voice was not in the least threatening, but simply teasing. The only answer he got was a snort. Determined to obtain more pleasant sounds from the human's lips, Kimmuriel nimbly freed him of his trousers. At first he contented himself with stroking Artemis' thighs, drawing small circles and lines on the sensitive skin, watching with a certain feeling of inner satisfaction that Artemis' body was promptly reacting.

Yet Kimmuriel hardly expected to coax much activity from Artemis tonight. He would probably play along, but nothing more. The drow even started to wonder if Artemis had maybe decided after their first night to simply remain the passive one in their relationship and let Kimmuriel lead.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

Artemis was far from conceding anything to Kimmuriel; he was simply enjoying the handjob he was getting. He realised that he was quickly giving over control from his mind to his body, but considering that his mind was torturing him with questions and accusations, following the simple, unambiguous demands of his body was very tempting. Usually he would try to resist that temptation, but his situation was far from usual, as were Kimmuriel's skills. How should any man remain reasonable under these hands?

When the drow pressed his naked body against Artemis', provokingly grinding his hips into the human's and placing teasing kisses on his cheek, some parts of Artemis' brain were simply switched off. He took the drow completely by surprise and grabbed him almost roughly, pushing him on his back. Kimmuriel was too dumbfounded for a moment to respond to the human's demanding kisses, but he was too aroused himself to ask any questions about this sudden change of mind. The only thing that mattered was the pleasure these strong hands and warm lips gave him.

Kimmuriel was amazed by this outburst of passion from the usually so restrained man, who had even in their previous shared night seemed to hold himself back. Whatever pretence of self-discipline Artemis had tried to hold up was forgotten now.

He kissed the drow almost brutally, pinning his slender body under him. His right arm was slung around Kimmuriel's waist, the fingers of his left hand entangled themselves with white, long hair. Kimmuriel was eager to return this passion just as furiously, digging his fingers in Artemis' shoulders and back. He enjoyed the feeling of the human's twitching muscles under the hot skin that became fast damp with sweat.

Kimmuriel finally broke their kiss and gasped for air when Artemis' lips slid down to his throat, nibbling and sucking at the skin. Growing increasingly impatient the drow grabbed a hand full of black hair and tried to push Artemis further down without thinking much of it. Yet even in his passionate state the human wouldn't pleasure anyone with his mouth, and although he took some time to kiss and lick Kimmuriel's smooth chest, he freed himself from the drow's grasp and halted for a moment, simply out of breath.

Artemis arched an eyebrow when Kimmuriel groaned in frustration and bucked against him. He tried to think of a teasing remark, but his mind was too clouded to come up with anything witty.

He propped himself up and flipped the drow. Kimmuriel struggled only briefly, but he was held down by strong arms. In his current state he had no use for pride anymore and growled simply, when he felt Artemis' hesitation, "In a pocket in my piwafwi."

Kimmuriel looked back over his shoulder to see Artemis get up and grab the drow's cloak, rummaging impatiently in it until he found what he sought. He smirked slightly and lay back, closing his eyes and telling himself that all he had to do was to relax and enjoy. It seemed strange to him that he had found this rather pleasant prospect so repulsive before.

Despite his former passion and almost brutal impatience, Artemis grew now rather considerate. Never one to hurt his lovers the human placed tender kisses on Kimmuriel's shoulders, softly rubbing his back and sides to make the drow relax - a surprisingly easy task now that Kimmuriel had stopped struggling. Artemis then opened the small vial of oil - wondering for a second if it was some strange drow habit to carry a lubricant around with them all the time - and quickly moistened his fingers.

He smiled in anticipation, taking in the sight of Kimmuriel's lean, sweaty body, shivering with lust. Without further ado he started to prepare the drow, swiftly, but carefully. Kimmuriel flinched and clutched the sheets below him tighter for a second before he relaxed again, moaning when another finger slid into him. Artemis' left hand lay firmly on the drow's hip, holding him down when Kimmuriel tried to buck up. It gave Artemis some satisfaction to see the once so arrogant, controlled drow in such a state of need, physically begging for what he had refused to endure until then.

Yet Kimmuriel's low, soft moans sent shivers through Artemis' body and urged him to act instead of simply watching the drow, no matter how beautiful this sight was. He quickly withdrew his fingers, eliciting a complaining growl from Kimmuriel, and straddled him, supporting his own weight with one hand.

Artemis closed his eyes and entered him in a swift motion, unable to suppress a loud groan. He forced himself to pause for a moment, but when Kimmuriel didn't show the slightest sign of pain he abandoned all restraint, giving in to the physical pleasure that left no place for further thoughts. Sneaking one hand around Kimmuriel's body Artemis started to stroke him firmly, and his efforts were rewarded with delightful sighs.

His world was reduced to the feeling of the sweating body below him, accompanied only by moans he couldn't even identify anymore as his own or Kimmuriel's. Artemis didn't withdraw immediately after a last, deep thrust that sent waves of satisfaction through his body, but nuzzled against the drow's back. His hand continued to pleasure Kimmuriel, returning the satisfaction the drow had given him.

He felt Kimmuriel tense and shiver in his arms before the drow finally relaxed and went completely limp, his face buried in a pillow. Artemis continued to caress him for a few moments before he rolled himself to the side and sank on his back, too exhausted to draw Kimmuriel to him.

When they parted Artemis felt almost empty, his doubts and pain still gone, but the passion that had replaced them had left him as well. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, though, rather a liberating one.

The void was filled after only a few minutes with a comforting warmth when Kimmuriel turned around and laid his lips on his, kissing him gently. Artemis wrapped an arm around the drow's sweaty, now slightly trembling body and pulled him close.

Kimmuriel inhaled the scent of the human's sweat - a scent that didn't bother him anymore. Quite the contrary, he associated it now with the most appreciated feeling of Artemis' body next to his.

Artemis was quickly getting sleepy, and as Kimmuriel seemed to be entirely satisfied as well, the human didn't try to force himself to remain awake. He placed a last kiss on the drow's hair before he closed his eyes. Kimmuriel stayed awake for a little longer, dreamily contemplating the assassin.

The drow knew he should feel alarmed that he had given himself so completely to Artemis, but instead he was fully at peace. Maybe because he had finally stopped thinking of his lover as 'some human', as iblith. It was simply Artemis now.

Kimmuriel was calmer than he had been in a long time, and judging by the relaxed look on Artemis' face the human's feelings mirrored his. The drow sighed contently and nuzzled against the other's strong chest, closing his eyes as well and fast drifting in a dreamless, reposing sleep.

They finally had what they had longed for. Something that could hardly be said about Jarlaxle.