Chapter 7

Don't get mad at me

It was 9:57 in the morning. Midorima had arrived a bit earlier than they had agreed (thirty-four minutes, to be precise) and was now sitting on a bench, waiting. He knew there was something inherently wrong with being so eager to meet your ex-boyfriend to pick up your wedding suit, but he was much too preoccupied trying to conceal his eagerness to be concerned with those little details. Maybe he should've called Takao in the past two weeks, but every time he picked up the phone, he realized he didn't know what to say. The tailor's call had given him the perfect excuse to meet the raven-haired man again.

At 10:02 he saw Takao crossing the street and walking in his general direction. Their eyes met, and Midorima flinched, wondering if he was going red in the face (and he so hoped he wasn't). But as his eyes lingered on his former teammate, he noticed his casted left arm, the patch on his right cheek, his blood-shot eyes, and he was pulled out of his daydream. Before Takao could even open his mouth, Midorima had already run up to him with concern written all over his face.

"What happened to you? Are you okay? You should've told me you were injured, we could've postponed this."

Takao smiled dismissively. "Don't be ridiculous, this is nothing. It's not like I can't walk or anything, I ran into another guy during a game and dislocated my shoulder, it's alright now." He reassured as he started walking towards the tailor shop they had visited last time.

The mousy clerk that had helped them last time came to greet them and guided them to a private room where Midorima's new suit was waiting for them. The green-haired doctor was a little confused. Shouldn't they just pay for it and leave? Was something else expected of him now? He looked at Takao, hoping his expression would be enough to convey how he had no clue of what was going on. He didn't want the salesman to notice he was buying his wedding suit blindly, or that he had zero knowledge about the social cues associated with this activity.

"You should try it on." Takao luckily caught on to what was happening. "Just in case. It's important to make sure everything fits, because if something is wrong, we can have the tailor fix it on time."

Midorima nodded in understanding and took the suit to the spacious changing room, hoping he would be able to put it on. He'd worn formal suits before, but everything related to the wedding seemed a lot more complex and had a whole bunch of new rules of etiquette that were completely unknown to him. How come Takao knew so much about all of this, he couldn't begin to imagine.

He took off his jeans first and replaced them with the ivory pants. They came in no problem, but he couldn't see how he was supposed to wear a belt, since there were no loops to be seen. Would the pants hold on by themselves? They had side tabs, so maybe that was the idea. Maybe he should call Takao for help after all. It's not as if they had never seen each other naked (when we were teammates and best friends, and lovers, his brain reminded him, and he realized he'd have to figure this thing out by himself). Alright, the pants seemed to work without a belt, so he could now move on to the shirt. Takao had chosen the pure black shirt, and at least putting that on wasn't such a big challenge. He looked at himself in the mirror and was mildly pleased with what he saw. He shouldn't be surprised to know that Takao truly had a gifted eye for clothing.

There was an ivory necktie and an ivory bowtie there too, but he couldn't wear them both at the same time, so he felt a little bit at a loss on that. He decided to try the bowtie first since he was a little bit clumsy with the necktie. Before he could put on the jacket, though, he found another piece that looked like a wide ivory colored belt with plates and he had no clue of what it was or how to wear it. He frowned in annoyance and decided to just put the jacket on and ask Takao about it. Why did everything have to be so difficult? If Kanako would just let him wear a kimono he wouldn't have to suffer the public humiliation of admitting that he had no clue of what that sash-like item was.

"Do you need any help?" Takao's voice came from outside the dressing room.

He slid the curtain open and came out of the room. "I think I can handle this by myself, thank you." He replied, a little bit too crudely. He was growing annoyed with how cumbersome this ordeal was, and that Takao (correctly) assumed he was completely lost, ticked him off to no end.

He realized there was no response, and he turned to look at Takao, who was now staring at him in awe, which made him feel awfully self-conscious. The raven-haired man was frozen on his spot, his cheeks a light shade of pink and his mouth hanging slightly agape. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and looked away, hiding his embarrassment. "Why are you looking at me like that? Is it not good after all?"

That seemed to snap Takao back into reality. "Why would you even think that? I know you're fashion blind, but for Christ's sake… hey, wait, I'd ordered a cummerbund, where is it?"

He ordered a what? Midorima had never even heard that word. It struck him after a moment that maybe he was talking about the mysterious item he'd wondered about earlier so he raised it in front of the shorter man's face, hoping he would get the hint and not force him to say he didn't know what it was in front of the salesman.

"Oh, you need help adjusting that, of course. Take off the jacket, will you?"

Turns out this thing wasn't too different from a formal obi, and Takao was done with it quickly (although with his casted arm he had required a little of Midorima's help to get it done). He put the jacket back on as the shorter man pushed him towards the mirror.

"How do you like it, sir?" the old man whose presence Midorima had almost forgotten intervened.

"It's an amazingly perfect fit, isn't it?" Takao said enthusiastically, holding Midorima by the shoulders and smoothing the satin of the jacket. "I'm not a big fan of bowties, but the waistcoat with a necktie would be too stuffy, this really suits you the best" he turned to Midorima briefly before adding "Would you excuse us for a minute?" The mousy salesman bowed and left them alone in the private room, and it was just then that Midorima realized how close to each other they were standing.

"So… this is how it's supposed to look? I thought black suits were more customary."

Takao frowned. "Are you even looking at yourself? I told you before, black is too harsh on you. It works on the shirt because it makes the jacket stand out. And this color makes your beautiful eyes look even greener. It's a match made in heaven."

Midorima's heartrate sped up as Takao kept piling compliment over compliment. Was he even aware of what he was saying? Then again, Takao had never been one to keep his opinions to himself, he'd always been honest and straightforward, and that was one of the things Midorima had always loved about him.

"You look perfectly dreamy. If she doesn't know it already, this will make Kanako-san realize how lucky she is to have you."

Reflected on the mirror, he saw the sad and tender smile on Takao's lips. This was wrong. Why was he marrying a woman he didn't love and didn't love him? Why did he have to give up the rest of his life for the sake of a business transaction? Was it really worth it, to abandon his own happiness to fulfill his father's ambition? He suddenly felt sick.

"Takao, I…"

"Actually I...have something I wanted to tell you." Takao interrupted, his head hanging low. One of his hands was holding on to the ivory sleeve of Midorima's wedding suit, and trembling slightly. "Just… don't get mad at me for saying it, please?"

This was just like the time when Takao first confessed he loved him, back when they started their third and last year of high school.

"Hey, Shin-chan? Can I talk to you for a second? It's kind of important."

It was unusual to see Takao so serious, so he'd nodded and followed him to the large full-bloom cherry blossom tree in the school's backyard.

"I know… this will sound weird but… just promise you won't hate me after I say it. Even if you don't like what I say, please promise we can still be friends."

He'd been at a loss for words. In the two years they'd been best friends, Takao had never spoken like that, and it made him worry. Once again, he nodded in reassurance. If the boy he secretly loved was going through any sort of problem, he'd do anything in his power to help him.

"Shin-chan I… I'm in love with you. I've actually been so for a while. I didn't want to tell you because our friendship is so precious to me and I didn't want to lose it… I… I've been afraid that you'd hate me. But I decided… I wanted you to know… I love you. I really, really love you. I love you with all my heart."

Midorima's heart had pounded so fast and so hard he thought it might burst his ribcage open. His eyes grew watery. He'd been in love with Takao for a long time, and it had never even crossed his mind that Takao might return his feelings. He had always been way too afraid of rejection to ever voice those feelings either. He knew he ought to say something fast or the shorter boy would misunderstand, but he couldn't think of the right words to say. His first reaction had been to hold on to Takao's wrist to keep him from running away while he tried to put his thoughts in order. His eyes had met Takao's silver pair and he'd seen a mirror to his own confusion and fear and hope, and it had given him the courage to speak up.

"But… if you love me, how can we stay friends?" Takao flinched and the pain of rejection flashed across his face. Midorima held on tighter. "I mean… b-because if you love me and I-I-I l-love you then… w-we'd become a c-c-c-couple, right?" and he'd stared straight into Takao's eyes, hoping he could convey his determination and the strength of his feelings in a way his clumsy words couldn't. Takao had gasped in disbelief and blushed every degree of the red spectrum before throwing his arms around Midorima's neck and crashing their lips together in what was probably the clumsiest kiss ever. A strong wind had blown and the cherry blossom petals whirled around them as they held each other tightly, and it had been so perfect it felt like a dream.

The way Takao looked at him now, and the serious tone in his voice reminded Midorima of that day. His heart grew hopeful, wondering if there was any chance to go back to that dream. He locked his eyes with Takao's wishing his feelings would get across like they had all those years ago.

"You know… the truth is that… I-it's been a long time but…"

I'm sorry for everything. I miss you so much.

A part of Midorima wanted to hear those words.

"I'm just… I know that… things have changed but…"

I still love you with all my heart. I always have.

A part of Midorima wanted to say those words. Maybe he should. Maybe he would.

"What I'm trying to say is…"

The door burst open. "Oh, there you are! I've been calling you for hours, I wanted to see the suit you chose." Kanako said cheerfully, oblivious to the raw tension in the room. "Wow, is that it? As expected of Kazu-chan, this is amazing. Eriko-chan will be soooo jealous when she sees what a handsome husband I got for myself!"

Midorima looked at Takao trying to salvage the situation. It had been real, whatever it was that had been about to happen, and he didn't want to lose it. But it was too late. Takao's face was split in a broken smile and his hand had long let go of Midorima's sleeve.

He then remembered that, no matter how nice the dream, once you woke up, there was no going back to it.

To be continued

Happy double feature! It's MidoTaka day so of course I was going to make a special exception :D.

In this particular scenario, I'm Midorima. I have no fucking clue about anything wedding related, all of Takao's knowledge comes from Discovery Home & Health wedding reality show trash and google. Also, I had never heard the word cummerbund before researching for this chapter. Also, I want these boys to kiss and magically solve all their problems already.

Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think! Come talk to me on tumblr (liamatsuoka), my askbox is forever lonely. And see you in two weeks!