Chapter 10

Which do you think is more important?

The next few hours were the worst in Midorima's life. Every minute that passed was a minute that Takao was being hurt by that man. He tried calling again, but Tozai never picked up the phone. After running aimlessly through the city like a madman, he realized he wasn't achieving anything this way, and that there was little to nothing he could do. He cried with despair and impotence. Tokyo was immense. They could be anywhere, and he didn't even know Tozai's address. He remembered Tozai owned a black Toyota, but how many people in Tokyo did? And what were the chances that he owned half a dozen other cars anyway? Kuroko had already checked Takao's apartment and there were no signs of him having been there since he'd first left, nearly a month ago. He'd called his acquaintances in other hospitals in the area and asked to be notified if Takao showed up. Aomine had called to say they'd found Takao's wallet in the Ikebukuro bus terminal but they'd searched the area and found nothing.

He felt useless. Takao was somewhere out there being tortured by that man while he was sitting in the hospital, unable to do anything but wait. The screams and cries resonated in his mind and made his imagination run wild; horrific images played before his eyes over and over.

At seven thirty, his pager went off, and a short message indicated he should hurry to the hospital entrance. He didn't think he was in the right mind to tend to any emergency, but he went anyway. A crowd was gathered around something, gasps of horror could be heard, while two doctors screamed orders. Before he could get closer to see what has happening, his boss approached him and handed him a piece of paper with his name written on it, a severe look on her face.

"Care to explain?"

He glanced at the words on the paper and felt his stomach turning inside out

"Dear Shin-chan: You said you wanted this toy of mine, so I thought I'd give it to you as a token of appreciation. Hope you enjoy it."

He pushed his boss aside, panicking as he made his way through the crowd. His insides twisted over in horror as he saw Takao laying on the floor, naked, his face full of bruises and cuts, his lips swollen. He had a cut above one eyebrow and dry blood was mixing with tears, staining his face. His other eye was black and his eyelid was bulgy. His neck was bruised all around. He was curled into himself, whimpering, his body was covered in deep gashes, scratches, bite marks and more bruises. There were splotches of semen on different parts of his battered body, and a string of blood was leaking from between his legs.

"TAKAO!" he rushed to his side, unable to think straight.

"NO! NO! GO AWAY! DON'T LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AT ME!" The shorter man screamed, his voice broken and hoarse, desperately trying to push him away, more tears streaming down his face. He could barely move though, and he seemed on the verge of losing consciousness.

Other doctors pushed him aside to make way for the cart, so they could transport Takao inside.

"Wait! Don't lay him on his back!" another voice called, and Takao was laid on his side. Midorima looked up to find Takao's pale back cracked by large, angry red gashes that were still bleeding. The wounds formed a pattern and Midorima soon realized they were words written on broken skin.

MY WHORE

He vomited.

When he woke up, his head was pounding and the left side of his face was sore. The last thing he remembered was panicking and screaming Takao's name, trying to reach him as the other interns pushed him away on the medical cart. Three other doctors had had to restrain him so he wouldn't intrude in Takao's emergency treatment in his deranged state of mind, and when he continued struggling, someone had punched him in the face and everything had gone black.

Panic surged through him once again and he rushed out of the room, but was stopped on his tracks by his boss, the head of the cardiology department.

"The patient is unconscious now, we put him on a lot of morphine, so he shouldn't be in any pain. His life is also out of peril, he lost quite a bit of blood, but most of his injuries are superficial. He also had signs of choking, but nothing life-threatening either. We will keep him under observation, but we'll probably have him discharged once he wakes up and we run some tests." She said methodically, her eyes cold as glaciers. "You will explain this to me, THIS INSTANT, and it better be a damned good explanation. I have refrained from calling the police, but I will not hesitate to hand the monster responsible for that over to the authorities, no matter how much of a brilliant doctor they may be."

His legs gave in as the memory of Takao's broken body came forth and he had to sit down. "His name's Takao. Takao Kazunari. He's… in high school… we were best friends."

He couldn't tell her the truth. He omitted most of the details, and just told her that Takao had been hiding from someone, like Kuroko had said. He said he didn't know who had done it, or how that man knew his name. He was afraid of how she'd react if she knew Takao was gay, or that his abuser was actually his boyfriend. As he spoke the watered-down version of the story, he noticed how all the signs had been there and he just had been too blind to see them. Takao's subtle limp every time they met. How he covered all of his body on heavy clothing, in spite of the summer heat. His empty smiles, and how he avoided his eyes every time he asked if he was injured. That time he showed up with his face bruised and a dislocated shoulder. He should've realized it sooner. Takao had been probably crying for help in silence, and he'd been too blinded by jealousy or stupid romantic fantasies to see it. He could've prevented this if he had paid more attention.

After he was done talking, Dr. Ienaga sighed. "I have the feeling that you're hiding something from me, but I'll believe your story. I'll need your friend's contact information, does he have any family? Someone will have to look after him while the police investigates and-"

"I'll do it." He blurted. "Takao… he won't want to trouble his family. I can take care of him, I know how to do it. I'll cover the hospital fees too." He was desperate to do something. He'd failed spectacularly in noticing Takao was in trouble and protecting him, he had to do something to help him, keep him safe from that man. He would never let that monster lay a hand on Takao again. "Please, let me see him. I'll go back to my rounds afterwards, I just want… I need to see him." He wanted to make sure that Takao was okay. He had to confirm that he was indeed here, in the hospital, safe, and not lost somewhere out there in that man's grasp.

Dr. Ienaga frowned "You'll do your rounds now, you've been completely useless all night. When he wakes up I'll talk to him, and then I'll decide if you can see him."

Takao woke up with an all too familiar soreness all over his body. He didn't know where he was or how long he'd been out of it. His memories were clouded with fear and pain. The only thing he knew for sure was that Toujiro hadn't been merciful enough to kill him. He tried to sit up, but the pain was so much and coming from so many places, that he couldn't muster the strength to do it, so he examined the room with his eyes. He saw beeping machines, blinding white light, tubes connecting plastic bags to his arm and figured he had somehow made it to a hospital.

"I'm glad you woke up. How are you feeling?"

Takao saw a young and attractive brunet doctor standing by the bed.

"C-c-confused." He was surprised by the coarse sound of his own voice, his throat felt raw.

"This is the Tokyo University Hospital. I'm Dr. Ienaga Hideko. We found you on our front door this morning in terrible conditions."

Takao's mind started racing. Todai's Hospital… of course it sounded familiar since it was such a prestigious hospital (how would he pay for this, he had no clue), but there was something else that should be ringing some bells, he just couldn't quite place his finger on what it was.

"I know this may be a lot to take in, but you didn't have anything on you, so I'll need to confirm your personal information. We will keep you in observation for a few more hours, but there's not much else we can do except prescribing you some pain medicines and let your wounds heal by themselves. You don't have any broken bones or other severe injuries. We can redirect you to a counselor if you so desire, given what you've gone through. The police is waiting outside to talk to you. If you want it, I can stay with you while they ask their questions."

A voice flashed through his mind.

I hope you're not thinking of talking to the police after we're done, are you? We're having so much fun after all. Besides, while I was out looking for you I found your folks' place. Your sister… Kazuha, is it? She's pretty cute, you know? Looks a lot like you.

Panic took over him and he flailed his arms desperately.

"NO! Not the police! I-I don't remember anything anyway, it would be a waste of time." He blurted. He'd take any pain a thousand times over, but he'd never, ever, put his little sister in any sort of danger. "J-just… just I… I need a phone I… I need to call someone I… p-p-please, I need a phone."

The doctor didn't look too pleased, but she nodded and pointed at the telephone on his bedside table before exiting the room.

He had never dialed so fast in his life.

"Big bro? What's up?"

"Kazuha? Are you alright? Where are you? And Mom and Dad?"

She took a moment to reply. Judging by the sound, she was probably eating something.

"Mom and Dad are working and I'm having lunch with some friends. Is something wrong? You sound kind of sick."

Relief washed over him to the point that he almost forgot about the pain.

"I'm… I'm fine. Just thought we hadn't talked in a while. Be careful on your way home, okay?"

"I always am. 'Sides, I'm a black belt, it's you I worry about, honestly. Are you coming for Obon? You haven't been around much lately, we miss you."

"Sorry kiddo, don't think I can make it. I gotta go now. Take care."

He sighed, the panic that had been briefly relieved by his sister's voice slowly crawling again into the back of his mind. He had to find a way to fix this. Maybe Toujirou had left his family in the clear today, but maybe tomorrow he'd grow bored of just torturing his body and seek out new ways to hurt him. There was no way he could run away now, knowing his family could be in danger. His chest clenched in despair.

The doctor walked back in and waited for him to acknowledge her to start talking again, as if nothing had interrupted their conversation.

"The police insist on asking some routine questions. Maybe you think you don't remember anything, but I'm sure there's something you can tell them that will help find whoever did this to you." She said, concern drawn on her face. She seemed like a nice person, Takao thought briefly.

"I… I don't want to talk now. I really have nothing to say. I… I blacked out, I don't remember anything." Even if he didn't say anything, he had no way of knowing if Toujiro had someone spying on him, and if he did, and saw him talking to the police, he would be risking Kazuha's life. He had to think of something to keep those officers away from him. "I… Can I… could you please tell them that I'll contact them later? I'm not feeling well right now, everything's just so… confusing."

Once again, she didn't seem pleased with his answer, but nodded anyway. "Alright, if that's what you wish. Like I was saying, none of your injuries are life threatening, so we'll sign for your release once we finish some routine examinations, but you will need someone to help you, you shouldn't move around much. Is there anyone we can call? A relative or a friend that could look after you while you heal?"

His first thought went to Kuroko and Kagami, but he shook it away. He couldn't keep getting them involved in this mess. In fact, he couldn't risk getting anyone he knew involved, especially not his parents. He swallowed, and his throat throbbed painfully.

"Uhm I… I'm not sure, uh… let me think about it?" he said, rushedly, hoping to gain some time "I'll pay the fees, I just need to get back home to fetch some cash." That was a lie. He'd been carrying all of his money, and he wasn't really sure of where he had dropped it. He'd figure it out later. He couldn't even imagine how he was going to keep on living; trying to run away had failed as miserably as any other attempts at escaping from Toujiro's grasp and now he had even gotten his friends and family in the line of fire. Maybe he should stop resisting, go back to his apartment and resign to his fate. Maybe Toujiro would eventually grow bored of him if he stopped struggling. He started panicking again. He'd never felt so desperate and afraid in his entire life, and he had no idea of how to get out of it. He didn't even have the confidence to ask for help, he felt so ashamed and filthy he wouldn't dare to look at any of his friends in the eye.

"Oh, about that, someone has already covered it, you don't have to worry about it." She said nonchalantly.

That took him by surprise.

"Hold on. Someone paid my fees? Why? Who was it?"

The doctor sighed and looked at him, as if hesitating whether to answer his question. "One of our residents, Midorima Shintarou. He says he's a friend of yours."

Right. Todai Hospital was where Shin-chan worked. Brilliant. Of all the people Takao didn't want to be seen by, not in these shameful, pathetic circumstances.

"I can't accept it. Tell him that, please. I don't want to bother him any more than I already have."

She sighed again. "You can tell him yourself. He'll come to visit later, he's very worried about you." And she left before Takao could object. He hid his face with his hands and started crying. The tears stung the open wounds on his face and his already exhausted eyes. He would've preferred getting killed by Toujiro's rage than having to live to meet Shin-chan in this disgusting condition.

Midorima entered the room cautiously and saw Takao curled up on the bed with the covers up to his head. Only a tuft of raven hair was visible. Was he sleeping? He approached quietly, hoping not to wake him, and sat on a chair beside the bed.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry." He whispered as he placed his hand on Takao's head gently, brushing raven locks in between his fingers.

The shorter man flinched violently and pulled back from the touch, whimpering.

"DON'T TOUCH ME." He yelled. The movement had revealed his bruised face, and the feral look in his eyes, a mix of terror and anger. His expression shifted to one of shame once he seemed to realize where he was and what was going on. "I-I'm sorry. I thought…"

Midorima felt his heart clench. The look in Takao's eyes killed him.

"Forgive me. That was careless." After everything that happened, it was obvious that Takao would be terrified from even the slightest touch. He felt horribly guilty and stupid for triggering any variety of bad memories in his wounded friend.

"No… it's not your fault. I'm sorry I've caused you so much trouble." Takao didn't meet his eyes and hid his face under the covers again. "Please go away." He pleaded. He didn't want Shin-chan to see him like this. He hadn't looked at himself in the mirror, but he figured he must look absolutely hideous, if the swelling and soreness all over his body were anything to go by. "I'm sorry that you have to see me in this disgusting state." He felt like a used, broken, discarded doll. Filthy. Worthless.

The doctor clenched his teeth. "What are you even saying?" Takao looked up to find Midorima's emerald eyes overflowing with tears. "Why are YOU apologizing?" His heart cracked seeing the beautiful tsundere crying for him. "After what that man did to you… how can you even think you have something to apologize for? I'm the one who should apologize. I should've noticed that something was wrong. Even after that… that… phone call… I couldn't do anything… I let him hurt you…"

Takao wanted to say something, but he found he didn't have the words. Before he could think twice about it, he raised his arm and wiped the tears from Shin-chan's cheek with his thumb. The tears were warm against his skin, and they seemed to alleviate his pain.

"Why didn't you tell me that he was hurting you? I could've… I could've done something. I could've… protected you."

There were a lot of reasons, of course. For starters, that he'd brought it on himself. Between his desperation for a new life, his foolish interest in the mysterious and dangerous, and his inability to let go of the past, he'd found himself trapped by a psychopath whom he'd managed to anger beyond forgiveness. And then, a side of him had been partially brainwashed without his noticing. Before he knew it, he'd started thinking he was too gross to deserve salvation, and that no one would have him once Toujiro kicked him away. He'd been so afraid of being lonely, afraid that Shin-chan would reject him once he knew the disgusting truth. But he couldn't tell such pitiful things to Shin-chan.

"I just didn't want to bother you. Toujiro… he's important for your father's business. I didn't want to put you in a conflicting position. I know your family's important to you."

Midorima slammed his fist on the nightstand, and Takao nearly jumped out of the bed.

"What the fuck is that?!" he bellowed, his eyes red with tears and anger. "Are you stupid?! Between YOU and my father's shop, which do you think is more important, you idiot?!"

Takao had not expected such a reaction, nor the underlying message. His heart got caught in his throat, and he tried to apologize, but he couldn't find the words. Midorima breathed heavily to calm himself down and then bit his lip, looking at Takao apologetically.

"I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't talk to you like that, after what you've been through. You don't deserve it. The one I'm angry with isn't you, I'm sorry."

Takao shook his head lightly.

They stayed silent for a moment. Takao couldn't bring himself to look at Midorima in the eye.

"I… I heard you called your sister…"Midorima began tentatively. "Did he… did he say he would hurt her?"

He recoiled into himself as if he'd been burned and turned away, whimpering at the memory. She's okay, he had to tell himself, she's safe. She'll be safe so long as you keep your mouth shut.

"I called Aomine. He… he's a police officer now, you know? He's asked some of his co-workers to keep an eye around your parents' place, just to be safe."

Takao didn't know what to say. He wanted to say he was grateful, but he was still too scared, too worried. He feared if he let his guard down and allowed any sort of relief into his system, everything would burst into flames again.

"I… I won't let that man hurt you again, I promise." Midorima continued, not an ounce of hesitation in his voice "I know you don't want to worry your parents, but you can't go back to your place until we figure out how to keep him away for good. I have an apartment across the street, I only use it when I'm on long shifts, but you can stay there while you recover. And I'll stick around to help you with the medicines and anything else you need. Dr. Ienaga said you shouldn't move around for a while. It'll be bes-"

"No, wait, Shin-chan." He turned around again to face the taller man and bit his tongue, angry at himself for slipping. "I can't impose on you like that, I've caused you enough problems as it is." he remembered something then. "Besides, you have that t-tea ceremony with Kanako-san's family . And lots of w-w-wedding preparations left. You may have to find a new best man, and-"

"Takao. Do not make me repeat myself." Midorima interrupted, with a serious tone. "Between you and the wedding, which do you think is more important? Now tell me where you hide your extra keys, I'll go to your place to fetch you some clothes, Dr. Ienaga will sign your release soon."

Takao's heart started beating so fast he wondered why the beeping machine wasn't catching up to it. He felt that he had to keep objecting, but somehow, Shin-chan's words were making it hard for him to keep his brain straight, so he told Shin-chan that the spare was hidden in his mailbox and heard him say "I'll be back soon" before exiting the room.

Getting to Midorima's apartment had been as awkward as Takao had imagined. After getting discharged (at around 10 o'clock in the night), Midorima had pushed him on a wheelchair to the parking lot, where his black Honda awaited. But when Shin-chan opened the door and tried to help him in, Takao leapt to put as much distance between himself and the vehicle as possible, his mind flooding with all the terrors he'd come to associate with black cars. He fell to the ground and howled in pain. The doctor had had to hail a (yellow) taxi and help him get up. The ride was also extremely short, to the point that Takao thought it ridiculous. When Shin-chan said he had an apartment across the street, he didn't think he literally meant across the street.

"Why'd you even pay a taxi to cross the street? That's such a waste." He said, trying to get on his feet. When he stood straight, he felt a jolt of pain coming up his spine and he had to lean on Midorima to avoid falling again.

"Because I don't want you walking more than the absolutely necessary."

The apartment was small compared to the Midorima manor, but it was bigger than Takao's place. Shin-chan showed him straight to the bedroom, where the futon had already been laid out. Takao couldn't help the warm feeling that took over him thinking of everything Shin-chan was doing for him.

"I called Kuroko to let him know you're alright. He and Kagami were very worried."

Takao grasped the cover, feeling guilty for causing even more problems for his two friends. "I'm sorry. Toujiro he… he said he would hurt them if I kept hiding with them, so I ran."

Midorima kneeled down next to him. "Kuroko and Kagami are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. As am I. Worry about yourself, because that's what all of us are doing."

Takao flinched as his sitting position sent another jolt of pain over his body. Midorima cringed. "Kuroko also gave me this… He said that… you've used it before." The green-haired doctor handed him a bottle of ointment, and he felt disgusting all over again. "I'll give you some privacy, and I'll make us something to eat meanwhile, alright? If you need anything call me. And also…" he paused, a haunted expression overtaking his features. "Don't… don't lie on your back. You've got… some bad cuts there."

He nodded, staring at the ointment and waited for the door to click closed before uncapping it.

After dinner (simple curry rice, and although Shin-chan had always been a terrible cook, Takao hadn't tasted something so delicious and warm in his entire life), Takao had felt extremely tired (even though he'd been unconscious for half a day) and before he knew it, he was already curled up beneath the covers and his eyes felt heavy from sleep.

"Hey, Shin-chan? Where are you going to sleep?" he asked groggily, letting the nickname slip by.

"I have a futon laid out in the living room, don't worry."

He didn't say anything, but he was starting to dread being left alone in the room. " 'm sorry… I'm just giving you more and more trouble."

"I already told you to stop apologizing. Call me if you need anything, and I mean anything. Good night."

The room grew unbearably cold when Shin-chan left.

Midorima was awakened by a loud scream and he dashed to the bedroom. He found Takao curled in a defensive ball and swatting at the air, as if trying to push away an invisible monster.

"Stop! STOP! PLEASE NO MORE!" he screamed. His eyes were open wide in distress, but he seemed completely lost in his nightmare. Midorima rushed to his side, not knowing what to do to wake him up.

"Takao! It' alright, Takao, it's just a nightmare!"

His voice went unheard, and Takao's writhing seemed to just bring forth the pain from his multiple wounds, making the nightmare even more real. Not knowing what else to do, he surrounded Takao's small frame with his arms and pulled him into a tight embrace, burying the raven head in his chest.

"It's okay, Takao, I'm here. I'm right here. You're safe. He can't hurt you now. You're safe. I'll protect you. You're safe now." He chanted, humming softly and rocking his body, trying to sooth the fragile man in his arms. For half a minute, Takao punched him and tried to kick himself free desperately, but his breathing slowly went back to its normal rhythm and his small hands clutched the front of Midorima's pajamas. "Sh-Shin-chan…" he whimpered.

The doctor hushed him and kept him tightly held, gently caressing his raven hair. "You're okay. You're safe. It was just a bad dream."

Midorima didn't know how long it took for Takao to regain his composure. The smaller man cried in silence for a long while, soaking his pajamas, and mumbling incoherent apologies. Finally, he pulled away from Midorima's embrace, his eyes red and puffy from crying.

"I'm sorry for waking you up." He said with a sad smile.

"Takao, if you keep apologizing, I'll have you eat my shiruko okayu three times a day."

He chuckled (and it was a surprise to realize he still had it in him to do so). The one time he'd tasted Midorima's infamous culinary specialty, the aftertaste had lasted for three days and it had made him throw up several times "Sorry I…" and then he chuckled again. "Thank you."

Midorima helped him to get back on the futon. "You should go back to sleep."

He nodded. He was even more exhausted than before, but now he was afraid to go to sleep and get trapped by another nightmare. The room was cold and empty, and he couldn't help feeling afraid when left alone. He kind of hoped Shin-chan would stay by his side tonight, he wasn't sure he would make it through otherwise, but he was too ashamed to ask.

"Hey, Takao?" he looked up to see a nervous and hesitant Shin-chan looking down at him. "The… the living room is very cold. Would you mind if I bring my futon in here? The room is spacious, I think it would fit alright" he wanted to be considerate of Takao's space, because he was aware that any physical contact may trigger his nightmares, but at the same time, he'd noticed the sad and scared look in Takao's crystal eyes that seemed to plead "Don't leave me alone."

Takao smiled, genuinely this time. A few minutes later, laying side by side with only half a meter separating them, he could finally close his eyes with most of his fears having dissipated. His hand sneaked outside of the cover and found a larger, calloused, warm hand. Takao hummed pleasantly when their fingers laced together, finally feeling truly safe.

To be continued

I know everyone wanted Shin-chan to save Kazu, but in the real world things aren't that simple. I also fucked around with how law enforcement and hospitals actually work to suit my convenience, sorry for that. But at least this chapter ended on a sort of hopeful note? It's the first of the kind we've had in a while, and it's pretty long too, I hope that makes up for all the pain we've gone through so far. Of course it's still a long way until Takao heals, both his body and mind have been heavily wounded, but at least now he's not on his own to deal with it all.

Friendly reminder that updates are every other Friday (unless a special occasion like MidoTaka day or Shin-chan's birthday happens, but we don't have any of those until TakaMido day in October). Next chapter is up in two weeks, Friday 24th.

We're already halfway through the story, it feels like it's going by so fast now. Thanks everyone for all your comments and feedback, I appreciate all of them a lot. It's really encouraging to know people like this story and that it's making you feel stuff, because that's the whole point. I hope you continue to enjoy it, please do let me know what you think, and thank you for all your faith and patience. See you in two weeks!