Chapter 11
I'll keep you safe
His eyes shot open in panic, but this time it took him merely a fraction of a second to realize he was not in the place of his nightmares, and that was due to the emerald eyes that met his the moment he woke up. He'd waken up screaming four or five more times during the night –the memories of each episode were too blurry to be sure-, and every time, Shin-chan would hold him and whisper comforting words in his ear until he fell back asleep.
He couldn't help but focus on the dark circles around Shin-chan's eyes, and he opened his mouth to apologize, but Shin-chan started speaking before he could say a word.
"Good morning." He said flatly, but the scowl on his face was telling him "I know what you want to say and you better not say it because I've asked you to stop three dozen times already" so Takao managed to put a half-smile on his face and return the greeting.
"I've prepared the bath for you." The green-haired doctor announced, and Takao detected a little hesitation in his voice. "Ideally you should have someone help you out, but I will understand if you want some privacy."
The words made his open wounds sting underneath the fabric of his pajamas, and he wanted to say 'thank you', because if there was one thing he didn't want, that would be letting Shin-chan see his body in its currently disgraceful state, but he found he couldn't really speak, so he just nodded. Midorima helped him to walk to the bathroom and sit down on a stool close to the tub.
"I will be in the kitchen making breakfast. Call me if you need anything." He said before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. "Let me know when you're done so I can help you change your bandages."
Takao sat still for a moment, feeling the vapors of the hot water filling the room and trying to find a position that wouldn't make him squirm in pain. Eventually he turned around to face the mirror, and he almost fell off the chair. It was the first time he looked at his reflection since… that, and it was more hideous than he ever imagined. The scarce areas that were not patched and bandaged were swollen and bruised, and as he started removing the bandages he found countless cuts, his face almost disfigured. He could barely recognize himself, and he feared that the damage would be irreversible. His eyes lay on the bruises around his neck, the memories of hands constricting his throat, the pain in his chest and how his head would spin with the lack of oxygen, made him lose his breath for a moment, and he looked for something to hold on to, to remind himself that he was alive and breathing and safe.
He took off his pajamas and slowly peeled off the bandages over his equally battered body, flinching from time to time when the fabric grazed the open wounds. His torso was entirely covered in bandages, and when he started to pull them off, a jolt of pain shot up his back, making him wince. He remembered that Shin-chan had said he had some nasty cuts on his back. He turned his back to the mirror and looked over his shoulder. His stomach churned up in horror and disgust upon distinguishing the words written on his torn flesh and dried blood. The thought that Shin-chan had seen such a revolting sight mortified him, he wanted to die.
He rushed into the bathtub, not wanting to see that horrible thing anymore. The warm water made the wounds throb painfully, and Takao whimpered in pain. His skin crawled remembering that nightmare. He started scrubbing his arms, his chest, his legs, trying to clean away that horrible sensation, but he still felt filthy, filthy, filthy.
Who would want a filthy slut like you?
He scrubbed harder, not even noticing the reopening wounds and the blood flowing into the water. He tried to reach his back, hoping to erase the words carved onto his body, and he started panicking. Who indeed would want him like this, with those terrible marks all over his body and the words written on his skin. He imagined Shin-chan's disgusted face upon finding those marks.
Whore.
Whore.
Whore.
Your precious Shin-chan would be revolted to see what a whore you are.
He ditched the soap and sponge, and started clawing at his skin, trying to tear it out from his body, wanting to get rid of that creeping feeling. He wanted to vomit. Hot tears started coming down his face. He couldn't breathe. His skin felt sickening and no matter how hard he clawed, all he felt was pain and revulsion. He couldn't shake it off. He was soiled, dirty, and nothing he did would ever make that disgusting sensation fade away.
Filthy.
Filthy.
Filthy.
Midorima heard Takao scream and he dropped the knife he was holding and rushed into the bathroom, slamming the door open. He found the shorter man curled into himself, scratching himself so hard he was drawing blood. The tub water was reddened, and the raven-haired man seemed completely out of himself.
"Takao! Takao, stop!"
He was breathing heavily, his eyes wide and deranged, tears streaming down his bruised cheeks.
"Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy."
Midorima panicked. "Takao, listen to me!"
The broken man's muddled eyes met his and he pulled away, terrified as if he was seeing his tormentor.
"NO! NO! NO! DON'T LOOK AT ME! DON'T TOUCH ME! NO! NO!"
His voice was broken and hoarse; he looked down into the water, still clawing at his skin as if trying to peel it off.
"I'm a disgusting whore. A disgusting whore. Disgusting. Disgusting. It won't come off. It won't come off! Worthless. Filthy. FILTHY! Dirty slut. Disgusting. Gross gross gross."
"Takao, please! I won't touch you, I won't but..."
"A dirty slut. Garbage. A worthless toy. filthy, DISGUSTING! A disgusting, disgusting, disgusting whore. IT WON'T COME OFF."
Takao was completely gone in his world of nightmares and Midorima didn't know how to pull him out of there. His blood boiled when he heard those words. He'd kill the man who did this to Takao, he had no doubts about it. The monster that made Takao think those terrible words were true did not deserve to live. The shorter man started hyperventilating, and Midorima feared he would go into shock if he didn't pull himself back together.
"Takao, Takao, please! Listen to me! Listen to my voice, I'm right here!" he wouldn't dare to touch him and trigger a bigger panic attack. "You're safe, he won't hurt you anymore. Look at me, please!"
Takao's mind, muddled by that man's venomous words, suddenly felt a little clearer, and he heard a tender voice calling him. He looked to the side to meet warm, beautiful, emerald eyes, looking into his as if pleading. He could barely make out the words. "…at me. Look at me."
Please don't look at me.
I don't want you to see me like this.
"Takao, you need to breathe. Breathe. Breathe."
The words, repeated like a mantra, were easier to understand in his perturbed state of mind, and he found himself taking a deep breath, his lungs filled with oxygen and his brain started getting a little more clarity.
"That's right, keep breathing. You're safe. You're safe. You're safe."
Safe... Safe… Safe.
He stared intently into those emerald eyes. Safe. He was safe. No one would hurt him here. He was safe.
Midorima sighed in relief when he saw Takao's eyes refocusing and his breathing slowly going back to normal. He kept repeating the words over and over, his eyes firmly locked with Takao's watery silver ones. The shorter man's shoulders and arms loosened, and he finally stopped scratching his wounded skin, and he seemed to get a grasp of reality again. His eyes filled with anguish, Midorima could tell he was thinking of apologizing again, so he spoke before that could happen.
"Takao, you're safe. I'll keep you safe. I'll never let him hurt you again. All the things he said to you were lies. Lies. Everything will be alright."
Takao opened his mouth to object. But I'm so disgusting. He wanted to say, but Midorima shook his head, as if he'd read his mind, never breaking eye contact.
"You are beautiful. Inside and out, you are beautiful. You are a precious treasure. A monster like that would never be able to see how much you're truly worth. But I do. I see it. I know it. You are beautiful."
Takao's body went completely limp and fell into Midorima's arms. He trembled, crying into his chest, soaking his shirt with water and tears and blood and Midorima held him tenderly.
"You're safe. You're precious, so precious to me. So beautiful. I'll keep you safe. I will always keep you safe."
The beating of Shin-chan's heart and the tender words that flooded his ears over and over and over again soothed him. He was safe. Shin-chan would keep him safe.
The phone buzzed for the fifth time and Furihata begrudgingly reached out of the jacuzzi for the accursed gadget, realizing the persistent caller wouldn't give up. Because trying to relax during vacations was completely out of the question, it would seem. He picked up the phone and flipped it open, careful not to drop it into the water.
"This is Midorima, I need to talk to Akashi."
The response startled him out of his grumpiness. How did Midorima even have his phone number, and why would he ever want to call him anyway?
"I have been trying to reach Akashi for three days but he won't pick up his phone." Midorima added, as if he were reading his mind. "He only does that when he's with you. This is extremely urgent, I must speak to him now."
Kouki felt a little petrified by the deep, dark tone in Midorima's voice, but he managed to rush out a "Hold on a minute" before turning to look at the other man with whom he was sharing the jacuzzi.
"Sei-san, Midorima-kun wants to talk to you. Says it's urgent."
The annoyed look on his lover's eyes switched to one of concern as he grabbed the phone. Kouki knew the emperor had been scheming something that was in some way related to the miracle shooter, but he didn't really know the details. He also knew Midorima was getting married to a distant relative of Seijuurou, but he was sure that wasn't what this really was about, so he listened trying to pick up on whatever the conversation was.
"Yes, I apologize for not picking up your calls before, I am taking a short vacation in America and I have had my phone turned off for a couple of days."
It was actually Kouki who had shyly asked if Seijuurou could put his phone away, at least for a few days.
"Hey, Sei-san…" he'd asked, the blush reaching the tip of his ears. "Do you think… you know, since it's our h-h-honeymoon…" he had a hard catching up with the idea of being married to Akashi Seijuurou. "Maybe you could turn off your phone for a few days?"
As selfish as it sounded, he didn't want one of Seijuurou's terribly untimely business crises to get in the way of their precious time together, of which they already had very little. He'd imagined he would refuse, but it didn't hurt to try. He looked up, worried that he had upset his lover –no, husband now-, but he was surprised to meet ruby eyes and a rare smile as Seijuurou shut his cellphone off and –in a completely out of character spur of spontaneity- carelessly tossed it away.
"As your husband, it is my duty to make you my number one priority, correct?"
He had been so stupidly happy at that time, but now he felt guilty that his selfishness had actually caused some sort of problem back in Japan.
"Oh, I believe I never told you, Kouki and I got married recently… thank you, that is very considerate of you." Kouki blushed, slightly embarrassed by Seijuurou's lack of self-consciousness when it came to saying stuff like that. "I am sorry we could not invite you, but as you know, I had to keep my father from hearing about it…"
In reality, Akashi had gone to America for an important business transaction, but with the excuse of familiarizing himself with the Western business environment, he'd arrived two weeks earlier than planned. He'd proposed to an unsuspecting Kouki -who had come with him using his paid vacation time- in a quite atypically uncomplicated, bordering austere way (one moment they'd been contemplating the night view of Los Angeles from the penthouse, the next one Seijuurou was down on one knee and asking for Kouki's hand in marriage with a golden ring as an offer) and they'd held a discreet ceremony shortly after, taking every necessary precaution to keep Seijuurou's father from knowing. Not that he didn't know about their relationship –and he disapproved of it with every fiber of his being-, but Seijuurou had thought it better not to push their luck for the time being. With two weeks to spare before having to fly to New York for the business transaction that originated this whole trip, they'd dedicated their time to rest, relax, and enjoy each other's company.
Kouki was pulled out of his dreamy remembrance when he noticed a drastic change in his husband's expression, from the relaxed smile he was sporting just a few seconds ago, to a dark and dangerous glare, his left eye briefly flashing gold. His voice also dropped and became deeper, a sign that he was angry beyond words.
"Yes… I understand… Of course… Calm down, Shintarou, leave everything in my hands… Yes, I will certainly see to it, we will not let this go unpunished... No, thank you for trusting me with this… I will make some phone calls now, I will let you know when it is done."
He shut the phone and got up from the water, throwing a sideways glance to Furihata. "Forgive me, Kouki, there is an urgent matter I must attend immediately."
"Did something happen?" Kouki asked, also stepping out of the bath and wrapping a towel around his waist.
"Shintarou asked for a personal favor. It is a very delicate matter, I will tell you the details later."
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
Seijuurou grabbed him by the waist and planted a chaste kiss on his lips and Kouki blushed beet red. Seijuurou's bold displays of affection always made him weak in the knees.
"That shall be enough."
"S-S-Sei-san!" He protested, flustered. Seijuurou was usually a very serious man and Kouki was used to seeing him with his business face, but he could get awfully flirtatious when they were alone, yet it always caught him unguarded.
"Kouki, what will it take for you to drop the honorific? I thought marriage would do the trick, but since that is clearly not the case, I wonder if I should try and put my child in your belly."
Although a part of him always felt relieved on the strange occasion in which Akashi would be able to make a joke –albeit a terribly unfunny one- (seriously, when they'd started dating…), he frowned, unamused, and smacked the ruby-eyed emperor across the head. Besides, for all he knew, Akashi may be serious about wanting to get him pregnant. He knew Seijuurou well enough to think him capable of believing he could get away with even the most ludicrous and biologically impossible ideas.
"Don't say stupid things, Midorima needs your urgent help, doesn't he? I'll boil tea, you should get to those phone calls."
Kouki felt slim arms circling his waist from behind and Seijuurou's wet scarlet hair leaning on his nude shoulder.
"You will be handsomely compensated once I'm done with this."
He felt the emperor's lips against his bare skin curving into a small, tender smile and he blushed.
"I'll look forward to that, Sei." And he relished in the soft gasp and the way his love's body stilled and heated up behind him.
Kuroko and Kagami came to visit for dinner. By then, Takao had managed to compose himself quite a bit. An entire day of lying in bed whilst Shin-chan pampered him had done wonders for his mood and peace of mind. His friends had called at some point in the day to ask for his well-being and express their wish to see him, and although he'd been initially reluctant to let more people see him in this pitiful state, Kuroko had bribed him with the promise of Kagami's cooking.
"Or perhaps you would prefer Midorima-kun's home-made meals."
Needless to say, and much as he appreciated the effort Shin-chan put in preparing edible food, he'd grown a little bit too spoiled by all the time he'd spent under Kuroko and Kagami's roof to reject Kagami's food.
Around six o'clock, the doorbell rang and Midorima went to answer the door. Takao couldn't actually see the entrance –Midorima had insisted he remained in bed unless strictly necessary- but he heard Kuroko's voice before he felt three pairs of footsteps rushing towards him.
"Takao-kun!" Kuroko exclaimed after entering the room, immediately kneeling by his side. "I am so very sorry." He said, surprising Takao, and he wrapped his small, pale hands around his. "Even though we said we would help you, we could do nothing to protect you. You ended getting hurt trying to protect us, I am so, so sorry." His voice quivered at the end. Takao was startled to see small tears pooling at the corners of those baby blue eyes and he felt his own watering a little too.
"We both are." Kagami added, sitting beside his husband and adding one of his hands on top of the other two pairs, a deep scowl installed on his features. "I promise that scumbag won't get away with this. We'll find a way to make him pay and put him away so he can't hurt you ever again." His last free hand joined the pile and he smiled. "If you need anything you must call us right away, no matter what. If Midorima tries to feed you his shitty food, just ring me and I'll fix it."
Shin-chan –who was just watching over the scene from the doorway- looked like he wanted to protest for a moment, but instead he just huffed and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
Takao found himself smiling, even as a couple of tears slid down his cheeks. "Thanks, guys, really. It means a lot." He managed to croak out and his smile grew a little bit wider. His chest was filled with warmth and he realized how grateful he ought to be for having such amazing, loving friends that would hold his hand and help him go through this terrible time and ease the pain of everything he'd gone through.
It took an entire week for Takao to be able to walk on his own again without collapsing from the pain. He still had nightmares and panic attacks, and most of his wounds looked like they would take some time to heal, but Midorima's care and gentleness, with the help of Kagami's food (he'd left about two-weeks worth of amazing stuff in the freezer) and Kuroko's occasional company, was slowly nursing him back into health.
As he started to feel better –physically and mentally- he'd started looking for apartments; he couldn't keep freeloading on Midorima forever (although he seemed to be getting awfully skilled at freeloading recently). He also didn't know who had talked with Kagetora-san (probably Kuroko), because when he'd called to apologize for neglecting his job and offering his resignation, his boss had rejected it and said that if he wanted to compensate his absence he should get better soon so he could go back to work. Takao kept realizing time and time again, how blessed he was for having people who understood and supported him, and how grateful he felt for it.
Midorima was at the hospital right now, a chance Takao took to wash the dishes and do some chores –the green-haired doctor would not have him doing any sort of physical labor, but Takao just couldn't stand feeling like a leech, being cared and pampered by Midorima without giving anything in return. As if all of that was not enough, Midorima had apparently called in some gigantic favor so his work schedule was more flexible and allowed him to be at home during the night, when Takao's terrors would surface more strongly. Now he felt awfully indebted to his friend and couldn't even begin to imagine how he'd pay him back for everything he was doing.
The doorbell rang while he was busy sweeping the floor. He approached the door, not sure if he should open if Midorima wasn't around. A second ring convinced him, and he was about to unlock it when he heard a voice coming from the hallway, that made him freeze on the spot.
"I know you're in there, whore. If you don't open this fucking door this instant, the next thing I'll be branding will be your slut face!"
To be continued
First of all I'd like to thank everyone who's read or commented, the latest batch of chapters have received very positive responses, which greatly encourages me.
This chapter is a bit of a mixed bag of both painful moments and heart-warming ones. The bathroom scene was one of the first I conceived for this story, and I cried while writing it. It's a difficult process and I really hope I'm doing this difficult topic some sort of justice.
Many had asked about Akashi's intervention and it's finally time for him to intervene (with some bonus Akafuri), I hope you liked that.
Hope you like this chapter. Sorry for the cliffhanger! Please let me know what you think, I appreciate all of your comments and opinions!