INT. DARKWING TOWER
Darkwing is still by the window; the flashes of light continue. Launchpad returns with the notepad and pen, which Darkwing eagerly grabs.
DARKWING
Thanks!
LAUNCHPAD
Darkwing WHOOOSHES offscreen, leaving behind a very startled Launchpad.
INT. DARKWING TOWER - DARKWING'S BEDROOM
Gosalyn is sleeping soundly in the bed, undisturbed by the soft green glow from the flashing beacons that floods the room. Darkwing enters very quickly, but then skids to a halt, not wanting to wait Gosalyn. Very slowly and very quietly he approaches the bed, and, gently lifting the pillow, removes...a Junior Woodchuck handbook.
DARKWING
(whispering, to himself)
Sure glad I saved this baby.
He exits. Gosalyn stirs, sitting up and yawning.
INT. DARKWING TOWER
Darkwing returns to the main chamber and runs over to the window. Using the notepad, pen and handbook, he manages to decipher the coded message the beacons are flashing, as Launchpad curiously reads over his shoulder.
DARKWING
Coupla dots...dashes...dash, dash, dash, dot, dot, dot, "...to surrender only to Darkwing Duck!" YES!
He leaps into the air excitedly. Launchpad blinks, and turns and squints out the window.
DARKWING
Headline city!
Gosalyn comes downstairs, slowly rubbing her eyes and yawning.
GOSALYN
What's going on? Did you win the lottery or something?
Darkwing looks a little uncharacteristically sympathetic.
DARKWING
Oh! Gosalyn, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you...
But in mere seconds he's his old self again, rushing up to her and showing her the notepad. She takes it skims what he's written down.
DARKWING
Look at this! Isn't it great? This means Taurus Bulba has finally realized who he's dealing with.
GOSALYN
He's just giving up? Why?
Launchpad walks over at this point; Gosalyn is voicing what has been on his mind, as well.
LAUNCHPAD
Yeah, D.W., you said he's a criminal genius. A real nasty one!
Darkwing frowns, clearly miffed that neither of them see what his point is.
DARKWING
Obviously, he's had a chance to talk to his gang about me. And now that he knows what kind of a cunning adversary he's up against, he's shaking in his boots and ready to throw in the towel! I can see it now! Him and me, on the roof of Canard Tower. I don't even have to lift a finger and he and all his cronies get down on their knees and grovel for mercy!
Launchpad and Gosalyn exchange skeptical looks.
LAUNCHPAD
Um, considering how close his gang came to killin' us, I'd said he wouldn't be too impressed.
GOSALYN
Yeah. WE were the ones doing the running away. Technically speaking, Mr. Darkwing, you lost that fight.
LAUNCHPAD
If you could call it that. More like a car chase.
Darkwing fumes angrily.
DARKWING
So, the truth comes out. You both think I'm nothing but a clown in a cape, don't you?
GOSALYN
Hey, no--
DARKWING
That I'm worthless and can't handle myself against an evil genius and his gun-toting henchmen?
LAUNCHPAD
But I don't think--
DARKWING
Shut up!
They look stunned. Gosalyn is on the very of tears.
DARKWING
Some "fan" YOU turned out to be, McQuack. I guess I'll just have to go and get Bulba myself, then.
He heads off.
DARKWING
And once he's in prison where he belongs, you'll be back in the orphanage where you belong, little missy, and YOU'LL go back to that pathetic excuse for an airfield you own, McQuack!
EXT. AUDUBON BAY BRIDGE
Darkwing zooms down the bridge cable on the Ratcatcher. Pan up to reveal Tantalus perched atop the tower. With a squawk, he hops off and flies down and lands on the windowsill; inside, he sees Gosalyn and Launchpad. And so does the camera on his collar...
INT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - BRIDGE
Bulba and Clovis are both standing in front of the viewscreen, which shows Gosalyn and Launchpad.
BULBA
So...THAT'S where that idiotic duck lives. Radio Hammerhead at once.
CLOVIS
Yes, Taurus Bulba.
She smirks and picks up a walkie-talkie as Bulba adjusts his tie.
BULBA
In the meantime, I must go and keep my appointment with Darkwing Duck!
INT. DARKWING TOWER
Gosalyn and Launchpad are sitting on opposite sides of a coffee table, playing Monopoly. Gosalyn is winning, based on how much play money she has on her side of the board, versus Launchpad's.
GOSALYN
Yes! You've landed on my super megaplex skyscraper! You owe me twenty-two trillion dollars!
Launchpad looks dejectedly down at his own money, a mere stack of bills. He picks them up and counts through them.
LAUNCHPAD
Well, gee, Gosalyn, all I got is ten bucks...
GOSALYN
That's okay, you can do the dishes.
HAMMERHEAD
(O.S.)
Ah-ha! Here you are!
Startled, Gosalyn and Launchpad turn to see Hammerhead climbing in through the window.
HAMMERHEAD
Now we gotcha! And this time, you're comin' with us!
GOSALYN
Fat chance!
She kicks him in the shin, making him yowl in pain and hop up and down on one foot. He stumbles back into Hoof and Mouth who have just climbed in through the window also.
HAMMERHEAD
Grab her!
LAUNCHPAD
Run, Gos! I'll handle these--Yikes!
He yelps as Hoof and Mouth pounce on him and knock him to the floor, as Gosalyn makes it to the stairs and hurries down them. Launchpad wrestles with the two henchmen, but his overpowered and dragged to his feet as Hammerhead walks over, looking mean.
LAUNCHPAD
Eh, you guys don't scare me! I've seen scarier beagles.
HAMMERHEAD
So, the big, dumb duck wants to be a hero, huh?
The other two give Launchpad a rough shake, laughing.
MOUTH
Hey, Hammerhead, hey, Hammerhead, why don't we show him what we DO to heroes, do to heroes?
They all laugh cruelly.
LAUNCHPAD
Uh-oh...
INT. DARKWING TOWER - KITCHEN
Gosalyn runs into the kitchen, and stops, panting, trying to think. She hears scuffling feet; her pursuers are hurrying down the stairs. She notices the egg timer sitting on the table and grabs it and turns Hoof and Mouth come running in. They skid to a halt. Reeling back her arm she flings the timer at them; it hits Hoof on the nose and the button is pressed.
MOUTH
What's that ticking sound, what's that ticking sound?
HOOF
I dunno--Aaahhhh!
He yells as suddenly silverware comes flying at them. Mouth ducks. Hoof isn't so lucky. Knives and forks skewer the shleeves and shoulders of his jacket and he goes flying across the room where he's pinned to the wall, and quickly ducks his head as a plate nearly decapitates him, shattering against the wall. Hammerhead runs in and slides to a halt alongside Mouth.
MOUTH
(panicked)
Taurus Bulba didn't say nothin' about gettin' the silverware, silverware!
HAMMERHEAD
Where'd she go?
Suddenly, Gosalyn leaps out from a cabinet, wearing a colander on her head like a helmet, aiming the detached cereal machinegun at them. They stare uncomprehending.
GOSALYN
I don't think you get enough fiber, Horn-Head! Come and get your minimum daily requirement!
She opens fire, pelting the two goons with Cheerios.
HAMMERHEAD
Ow! Owie! Ow! Oh! Eee! Yeow!
MOUTH
She's conductin' a war of nutrition, a wat of nutrition!
Turning, they dive behind the kitchen table, and Hammerhead tips it over to use as a shield.
MOUTH
Think she's outta ammo yet, think she's outta ammo yet?
Suddenly the gun runs out of "ammo" and clicks emptily. Grinning, Hammerhead and Mouth come out from behind their barricade.
GOSALYN
Uh-oh!
HAMMERHEAD
Get her!
Suddenly a double-barreled shotgun pops out of another cabinet and fires a bunch of grapefruits, hitting Hammerhead. He winds up with three crammed into his mouth. Mouth laughs at him, but then is hit in the eyes with eggs, splattering yolk and eggwhite all over his face.
Blinded, he runs around crazily in circles and finally slams into the wall and knocks himself out. Hammerhead simply spits out the fruit and stalks towards the now defenseless Gosalyn. We notice, however, that he is walking right over the trapdoor over the fire pit!
HAMMERHEAD
All right, you little brat, now I'm gonna--
The floor opens underneath his feet and flames shoot out. Hammerhead leaps howling into the air as the fire burns his rear end, and he thuds hard on the floor a few feet away. He sits there, dazed, when suddenly the fridge springs up into the air. He looks up, sees it, and winces. It lands on his head but remarkably doesn't crush him, then falls forwards with a crash, leaving Hammerhead sitting there. Slowly he goes cross-eyed and falls over backwards unconscious. Gosalyn walks over to the defeated henchmen triumphantly.
GOSALYN
Wait'll you see what we're having for LUNCH!
Suddenly, she remembers Launchpad.
GOSALYN
Launchpad!
She runs out of the kitchen - right into Tantalus! He swoops in and grabs her by her shirt as the goons get to their feet. The bruised and battered Hammerhead, Hoof and Mouth walk over, glaring.
GOSALYN
What do you want with me??!?
HAMMERHEAD
The boss will explain everything...after we take ya to him.
He smirks. Hoof and Mouth both chuckle darkly.
EXT. CANARD TOWER ROOFTOP - NIGHT
Canard Tower is the tallest skyscraper in St. Canard, a 300-story office building. It is quiet, desolate, all we can hear is the softly-blowing wind.
DARKWING
(V.O.)
I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the jailer who throws away the key!
There is a puff of purple smoke and Darkwing appears on the rooftop, cape spread dramatically.
DARKWING
I am--
He pauses, glancing around, noticing that no one is around that he can see.
DARKWING
--feeling REALLY stupid. Boy, I hate it when I'm early.
He goes and sits down on the edge of the roof, dangling his legs over the edge.
DARKWING
You'd think criminal masterminds would be more punctual.
All of a sudden, Taurus Bulba walks up behind him.
BULBA
Please accept my apologies.
Startled, Darkwing jumps up and turns.
DARKWING
All right, well, next time you--
He finds himself staring, literally, at Bulba's waist. A look of nervousness comes over the duck and he very slowly looks up, and up, until finally his gaze falls upon Bulba's smirking face. The size difference between the two of them is downright ridiculous.
DARKWING
(stammering)
Whoa, uh, gosh, erm, jeez, really big, duh, oy...
BULBA
(he chuckles)
I take it I am not what you were expecting?
DARKWING
Well, I, uh, I've heard so much about you, I've just...never seen you. Gosh, you're...really huge. Really, really huge.
He clears his throat and assumes a more confident stance, his courage returning to him.
DARKWING
But that doesn't matter! For I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the surprise in your cereal box! I am--
Bulba cuts him off, giving a dismissive wave of his hand.
BULBA
Yes, yes, yes, yes. I know. I've heard. You're Darkwing Duck.
DARKWING
Aha! So you have heard of me! Well, then, evildoer, your decision to surrender to me is a wise one, indeed!
Bulba stands there for a moment, staring at him, and then, suddenly, he starts chuckling. The chuckle soon turns into a full-on belly laugh.
BULBA
Hahahahahaha! Oh, oh, I'm sorry! I was originally intending on acting for your benefit, but I just can't help myself! You actually thought I came here to give myself up? Your ego really IS out of control, isn't it?
DARKWING
(uncomprehending)
Huh?
BULBA
I mean, seriously, why would I surrender to someone like YOU?
Darkwing stammers, losing his cool, and losing it fast, and he struggles desperately to come up with a real crusher. But all he can muster up is:
DARKWING
...because I have your men on the--on the run?
BULBA
Ha! Please! I manipulated you like a puppet!
DARKWING
Yeah, well, I, uh, manipulated you into manipulating me!
Bulba crosses his arms behind his back, smirking down at the much smaller duck as Darkwing assumes a martial arts stance.
DARKWING
And my plan worked perfectly! For I have you right where I want you! Alone with me, Darkwiiiiiiiiiing Duck!
He executes a flying leap through the air - only to grabbed in midair by Bulba who squashes him into a little huddled ball with no effort whatsoever.
BULBA
Very amusing, Mr. Darkwing, but unfortunately I do not have time to play. I have places to go, things to do, and cities to steal.
He tosses Darkwing aside, and the duck thuds to the rooftop with a loud grunt. He recovers quickly, though, sitting up and shaking his head.
DARKWING
(puzzled)
"Cities to steal?" Well, wait a second, why did you call me up here if you weren't actually planning to surrender? Just to rub your omnipotence in my face?
BULBA
Yes. That, and...
He turns and begins walking across the roof, away from Darkwing.
BULBA
...I had to get you out of your hideout somehow. Heh-heh, yes, in your eagerness to battle your first big bad supervillain, Mr. Darkwing, it appears as though you rather clumsily gave away your hiding place.
Darkwing's eyes widen.
BULBA
The tower of the Bay Bridge, if I'm not mistaken. I have already sent my there to acquire a certain little girl. And they should be arriving riiiiiiiiiiight about...
He looks at his wristwatch. Suddenly they hear the sound of a helicopter rotor, and a moment later, a four-person passenger Bell Jet Ranger helicopter rises up into view at the opposite end of the roof, where Bulba is walking. Hoof is in the pilot's seat; in back, Hammerhead and Mouth sit with a terrified-looking Gosalyn between them.
BULBA
...now.
DARKWING
Oh no, Gosalyn!
Suddenly, the stairwell door across the roof bursts open and several police officers burst through, looking around. Looking over towards Darkwing, Bulba and the helicopter, one of them points.
POLICE OFFICER 1:
There he is! Get him!
They rush over. Bulba walks a little faster but is unotherwise unconcerned. Hammerhead keeps ahold of Gosalyn as Mouth drops an escape ladder from the hovering chopper and he steps onto it, turning back to Darkwing.
BULBA:
But now, I must away. I must make certain that nothing terrible befalls young Miss Waddlemeyer! My boys can be a little rough. Bye-bye, Darkwing!
Hoof turns and pilots the helicopter away from the roof, Bulba waving at Darkwing as he holds onto the escape ladder. The cops rush to the edge of the roof, firing their guns after the fleeing chopper, but it's no use. Angrily, one of them turns and glares at Darkwing, who stands there looking sullen.
POLICE OFFICER 3:
You costumed idiot! You let him get away!
Darkwing turns and glares at him, but can't say anything. Then, he suddenly remembers what Bulba had said.
DARKWING:
If they took Gosalyn, then what about--Launchpad! I've got to get back to Launchpad!
He turns and runs off, towards the stairwell door.
INT. DARKWING TOWER - SEVERAL HOURS LATER
The place has been completely trashed. Darkwing stands, horrified, amidst the destruction, before cupping his hands over his bill and calling out.
DARKWING
Launchpad? Launchpad?!
He suddenly hears banging and muffled noises coming from inside a nearby closet. Rushing over, he opens it, and out tumbles Launchpad, tied up with a bedsheet, all of the Monopoly money stuffed into his mouth. He looks like the victim of a fraternity hazing. Darkwing hurriedly unties him and he spits out all of the money.
LAUNCHPAD
Oh, man, D.W.! Thank goodness!
DARKWING
What happened?!
LAUNCHPAD
(coughing)
Those guys! They showed up! The ones who were workin' for Taurus Bulba!
DARKWING
Oh no!
He runs off, racing down the stairs to the lower level of the hideout. He goes into the kitchen, finds the huge mess left from the previous scene. Launchpad hurries in after him a moment later.
LAUNCHPAD
She's gone!
Darkwing whirls on him angrily.
DARKWING
Where were you?! You were supposed to be watching her!
LAUNCHPAD
Where was I?! I was stuffed into a closet, that's where I was! There was three of them and only one of me, what did you want me to do?! YOU'RE the one who fell for that stupid trick about Bulba surrendering!
Darkwing sighs, but calms down, realizing Launchpad is right. He goes over and kicks the egg timer, then rights the table.
DARKWING
This is all my fault! That trap was so obvious! I should've listened to Gosalyn. Me and my stupid headlines!
He pounds his fist on the tabletop, making Launchpad flinch.
LAUNCHPAD
Well, can't we go get her?
Darkwing takes out a magnifying glass and gets down on his hands and knees and begins examining the floor carefully. Launchpad watches him, puzzled him.
LAUNCHPAD
DW, what are you doin'?
DARKWING
(without looking up)
Looking for clues, of course! Those dastardly doers of evil must have left SOME clue that will lead me to Bulba's secret lair!
Launchpad nods, then, suddenly, a gun barrel is stuck into his back from behind and he freezes, eyes wide.
LAUNCHPAD
Uh, DW...
DARKWING
(still without looking up)
Not now, Launchpad! Investigating a case calls for the searching out of patterns! Like the patterns made by these spilled Cheerios, and these expensive dress shoes, and-- Huh?
He realizes he's looking at a pair of feet through the magnifying glass, and He slowly looks up to find none other than Agent Gryzlikoff standing over him, flanked by Agent Granite and Agent Shale.
DARKWING
Oh...
LAUNCHPAD
Yeah, uh, I tried to tell ya...
He glances nervously back at Agent Gravel, the one pointing a gun at his back. Darkwing gets to his feet and assumes a defensive posture.
DARKWING
Who are you? More of Bulba's minions? Looters? Squatters? No, too well-dressed for squatters, maybe--
GRYZLIKOFF
I am Agent Gryzlikoff of S.H.U.S.H. And you, Darkwing Duck, are coming with us!
He reaches down and grabs Darkwing by the collar, lifting him up, Darkwing dropping the magnifying glass with a 'clink' to the floor. He then sets Darkwing down on his feet in front of him.
DARKWING
Wait, S.H.U.S.H.? S.H.U.S.H. as in the super-secret spy organization?
GRYZLIKOFF
Of course! What other S.H.U.S.H. is there?
LAUNCHPAD
Hey, wow! Whaddaya know! S.H.U.S.H.! Hey, Mr. Grizzlikof, is J. Gander still in charge?
Gryzlikoff and Darkwing both look over at Launchpad, puzzled by his reaction, and his question.
GRYZLIKOFF
Well, yes, of course he is!
LAUNCHPAD
Oh boy! I can't wait to see 'im again!
Darkwing and Gryzlikoff look at one another, blinking.
INT. S.H.U.S.H. CENTRAL - HALLWAY
Gryzlikoff marches down the hall, followed closely by Darkwing and Launchpad. Agent Granite and Agent Shale are close behind, herding the two along.
DARKWING
(whispering)
You know the director of S.H.U.S.H.?
LAUNCHPAD
(also whispering)
Well, kind of. It used to be called the D.I.A., for Duckburg Intelligence Agency. But then they moved to St. Canard and changed their name.
DARKWING
(whispering)
You don't recognize this sourpuss do you?
He jerks a thumb at Gryzlikoff.
LAUNCHPAD
(whispering)
Heck, no. Whoever this jerk is, he's definitely not from the old outfit.
GRYZLIKOFF
I can hear you, you know.
They both flinch and grin nervously.
INT. S.H.U.S.H. CENTRAL - J. GANDER'S OFFICE
The group of five enters the office and is greeted immediately by the anxious-looking J. Gander Hooter.
J. GANDER
Good work, Agent Grizzlikof!
Launchpad gawks at J. Gander.
LAUNCHPAD
J. Gander! You shrunk!
Everyone turns and looks at him like he's crazy. J. Gander looks more than a little offended, and Gryzlikoff thwaps him upside the head.
LAUNCHPAD
Ow!
J. GANDER
I can only assume you're talking about my precedessor, J. Gander HOOVER. My name is J. Gander HOOTER.
LAUNCHPAD
Oh! Uh, sorry...
J. GANDER
I do recognize YOU, though, Mr. McQuack, from when you helped stop F.O.W.L. years ago.
Darkwing blinks, surprised.
DARKWING
Wait, you're telling me flyboy here was a--a secret agent?
LAUNCHPAD
Only for about a week...
GRYZLIKOFF
And ONLY by virtue of the fact he bore a strong resemblance to Bruno Von Beak!
Gryzlikoff glares at Launchpad, making it very clear of his opinion of that particular chapter in the agency's history. Launchpad grins nervously. Hurriedly changing the subject, J. Gander turns to Darkwing.
J. GANDER
So, you must be the famous Darkwing Duck we've been hearing so much about.
DARKWING
How did you find my secret hideout anyway?
J. Gander smiles warmly.
J. GANDER
The same way Taurus Bulba did, apparently. By decoding the message he was broadcasting throughout St. Canard. We followed you to the rooftop of Canard Tower, and when you left--
GRYZLIKOFF
--after failing to stop Taurus Bulba--
J. Gander shoots his subordinate an angry glance, then continues.
J. GANDER
--and when you left, we followed you back to the Bay Bridge.
GRYZLIKOFF
VERY easily, I might add.
DARKWING
Yeah, okay, I get it, fuzzy, you don't like me. Now please, shut up.
Gryzlikoff just scowls and crosses his arms, but keeps quiet.
J. GANDER
Now then, Darkwing, it is absolutely imperitive that you tell us where the girl is.
DARKWING
Gosalyn? She was taken by Bulba's goon squad, while secret agent boy here was on watch duty, I might add.
Launchpad takes a step back, holding up his hands.
LAUNCHPAD
Hey, lay off, will ya? Why is everyone blamin' me?! I got the crap beaten out of me and then stuffed into a closet!
DARKWING
Look, J. Gander, buddy, pal...
He puts an arm around J. Gander, who looks immediately uncomfortable.
DARKWING
...it would be a lot easier for everyone involved to get Gosalyn back, if someone here would tell me why in the world Taurus Bulba would want a little girl!
J. Gander pushes Darkwing's arm off himself and goes over to his desk, retrieving from the drawer the framed photograph showing Professor Waddlemeyer with Gosalyn. He hands it to Darkwing.
DARKWING
This is the same picture Gosalyn showed me...
J. GANDER
Yes. All of this is because of her grandfather.
Darkwing looks up at him, frowning.
DARKWING
What do you mean?
J. GANDER
Taurus Bulba paid Professor Waddlemeyer to invent a weapon. A weapon of unparalleled destructive power. He called it the "Ram Rod." However, near as we can figure it, gaining custody of his granddaughter after her parents' death in a car accident led Waddlemeyer to rethink his deal with Bulba. He came to me, personally, offering to turn the Ram Rod over to S.H.U.S.H. and even give us Taurus Bulba on a silver platter. Everything went fine, at first. We got the Ram Rod and we got Bulba, but not before Bulba had...taken his revenge against Waddlemeyer for betraying him.
He sighs deeply. Darkwing looks again at the picture.
J. GANDER
He was a very dear friend.
DARKWING
What about Gosalyn? Why wasn't she put into protective custody?
J. GANDER
Well, with Taurus Bulba in prison and the Ram Rod in our custody, we figured there was no danger to the girl. But, Bulba escaped from prison last year. We put our top agent, Derek Blunt, on the case, but he went missing. We tried to get her, but, well, you know the rest.
DARKWING
But what does Bulba want her?
GRYZLIKOFF
Waddlemeyer installed an electronic block into the Ram Rod's weapon system. You need a special code to be able to arm it.
Darkwing strokes his chin, thinking, when suddenly, Agent Quartz comes barging in holding an envelope.
QUARTZ
Mr. Hooter, sir! This letter just came for you in the mail.
She hands it to J. Gander who examines the envelope.
J. GANDER
The return address simply says... "Taurus Bulba."
INT. S.H.U.S.H. CENTRAL - J. GANDER'S OFFICE (LATER)
Darkwing, Launchpad, J. Gander and Agent Gryzlikoff all stand around in a circle as J. Gander, wearing latex gloves, using a letter opener to carefully open the envelope.
GRYZLIKOFF
Gently, gently...
J. GANDER
I know, I know.
He finishes opening it and everyone tenses up, but nothing happens. There is a collective sigh of relief, and J. Gander removes the letter from inside, written neatly in Taurus Bulba's handwriting.
J. GANDER
(reading)
"Dear friends and worthy adversaries at S.H.U.S.H. Central, and especially Director Hooter. You have been very clever up until now, but at last I have back that which is rightfully mine. I have the Ram Rod, and the girl, and within a short period I shall know the arming code to the weapon. Once I do, I shall commit the most--the most heinous crime of this or any other century."
He pauses to glance up at the others, as if uncertain whether he should continue. Darkwing wordlessly urges him to go on.
J. GANDER
(reading)
"Using the Ram Rod, I will--I will steal the entire city of St. Canard to hold for ransom in the amount which will be dictated to you at the proper time. Signed, Taurus Bulba."
DARKWING
That's impossible. He can't steal an entire city! Can he?
J. Gander and Gryzlikoff look nervously at one another.
GRYZLIKOFF
Well, the Ram Rod was designed to pick up and lift almost anything.
DARKWING
What IS the Ram Rod anyway?
GRYZLIKOFF
It's a trachio-specific device that disrupts gravitational bonds--
DARKWING
(interrupting)
In English, please.
GRYZLIKOFF
It...makes things float.
Darkwing turns away, lost in thought.
DARKWING
Where did your agent guy go missing?
J. Gander looks up from the letter, one eyebrow raised.
J. GANDER
Somewhere in the mountains outside of town. We haven't been able to search for him OR Bulba's hideout in the meantime, since we've been so busy trying to locate you and Gosalyn. But you can't honestly be suggesting you'll succeed where Derek Blunt failed. He was our best agent!
Darkwing spreads his cape dramatically.
DARKWING
Ha! No job is too tough for...DARKWIIIIIING DUCK!!!
GRYZLIKOFF
Absolutely not! You've failed to stop Bulba once--no, twice already! S.H.U.S.H. will handle this, not some costumed clown!
He turns to Agent Granite and Agent Shale, who are standing over by the door, and points at Darkwing and Launchpad.
GRYZLIKOFF
Detain them!
Granite and Shale advance towards Darkwing. Launchpad eeps and hides behind the smaller duck.
DARKWING
Now, now, boys, there's no reason we can't play nice!
He suddenly spinkicks Shale and sends him flying into Gryzlikoff, then sweeps Granite's feet out from under him. They all crash to the floor. J. Gander just sighs and palms his face. Darkwing grabs Launchpad and drags him over to the window, throwing it open as the three agents get to their feet.
DARKWING
Sorry about this, you guys. Don't you worry, J. Gander, I'LL find Bulba's hideout for you!
He leaps out the window, pulling Launchpad with him.
LAUNCHPAD
Uh, DW, maybe we should let the S.H.U.S.H. handle thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis!!!!!!!
J. Gander, Grizzlikof and the others all run to the window and look down, but there is no trace of Darkwing. Gryzlikoff is furious. He whirls to Shale and Granite.
GRYZLIKOFF
After him! Find him! Bring him back here this instant!
They salute and rush from the office.
J. GANDER
That won't be necessary, Agent Gryzlikoff.
Gryzlikoff turns and looks at him, blinking, as J. Gander takes out a small beeping tracking device. A little blip on the tiny screen indicates what can only be Darkwing Duck. J. Gander winks.
J. GANDER
This old secret agent still has a few tricks up his sleeve.
EXT. STREETS OF ST. CANARD - NIGHT
Darkwing and Launchpad zoom along in the Ratcatcher. Launchpad is driving, Darkwing rides in the sidecar portion, looking determined.
DARKWING
By now, Taurus Bulba must have taken Gosalyn back to his secret lair! Wherever THAT is.
LAUNCHPAD
Well, J. Gander said that that Blunt guy went missing up in the mountains.
DARKWING
Okay, so, we'll start our search there. Although, I have to admit, I didn't really design the Ratcatcher for off-road driving. Besides, I think the suspension shocks are shot from driving on the train tracks the other night.
LAUNCHPAD
The other night...?
Launchpad turns and grins at him.
LAUNCHPAD
No problemo, DW, I got just the thing!
EXT. AIRFIELD - NIGHT
We see Launchpad's old airplane hangar from earlier, the 'LAUNCHPAD MCQUACK'S AIR CHARTER SERVICE' sign still destroyed. The Ratcatcher comes zooming into view and drives past the first hangar, the one Darkwing crashed through originally, and we see there is a second, smaller hangar behind the bigger one. Launchpad drives into it.
INT. SECOND AIRPLANE HANGAR
Launchpad brings the Ratcatcher to a screeching halt, and immediately hops off. Darkwing, for his part, looks like he is about to toss his cookies.
DARKWING
Did you have to take all those turns so hard? Ugh...you drive about as well as you fly.
LAUNCHPAD
Eh, sorry about that, D.W., but you DID say we were in a rush.
Wobbly, he climbs out of the sidecar. The interior of this hangar is markedly different from the first. There's workbenches and welding tools everywhere, as well as discarded airplane parts, but not a full airplane to be seen anywhere; stuck to the wall with pins and thumbtacks are various newspaper clippings detailing Darkwing's past heroics, although of course they're too small to see; what must be Launchpad's scrapbook rests on one of the workbenches. The main thing in the room is a large...something covered with a sheet. Launchpad excitedly rushes over to it.
LAUNCHPAD
Okay, now, ya remember I told ya I had somethin' a lot better than that old biplane last night?
Darkwing nods, looking interested, but doubtful at the same time.
LAUNCHPAD
Well, take a look at THIS!
He rips the sheet off revealing THE THUNDERQUACK, a large twin-engine jet shaped like a duck's head with wings. The cockpit where the pilot and single passenger sit makes up its "eyes," with the "beak" stretching out before that. The entire aircraft is painted purple and is roughly the length of a stretched limo. Darkwing's jaw drops.
DARKWING
You--you BUILT this...?
LAUNCHPAD
Yup! I worked on it for a whole year! I-it's why I've been dismantlin' all those planes in the other hangar. I call it...the Thunderquack!
Darkwing walks around the jet, taking it in, very impressed. We can see his opinion of Launchpad changing before our very eyes in just his facial expressions and body language. After walking completely around the back of the Thunderquack he comes around to where Launchpad is standing and smoothly runs his hand along the lip of the "beak" as one would the fender of an expensive classic car.
DARKWING
I call it sensational!!!! Although...if you spent an entire YEAR building a jet that looks like ME, then, well, that's kind of, um...
Launchpad grins and laughs nervously, scratching the back of his head.
LAUNCHPAD
Eh, yeah, I know, I know. But what I can say? Business was slow, and I needed a hobby. So I sorta combined my love of planes with my favorite superhero.
Darkwing nods and grins, slapping him on the back.
DARKWING
Well, I'm glad you did, because THIS is going to give us the edge we need to bring Bulba down like a ton of bricks...
He trails off, thinks for a moment.
DARKWING
...sidekick.
Launchpad's eyes widen.
EXT. SECOND AIRPLANE HANGAR - NIGHT
LAUNCHPAD
(O.S.)
YAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOO-HOOOOO!!!!!!!
There is a loud roar of jet engines firing up, and then the Thunderquack comes flying out of the hangar like a bat out of hell and swoops up into the sky, Launchpad at the controls and Darkwing riding in the passenger's seat. It then zooms off over the countryside, towards the mountains.
DARKWING
(O.S.)
I just hope I don't regret this...