The craggy mountain seen before; push in on the rushing falls.
INT. SECRET LAIR - STOREROOM
Taurus Bulba and Clovis are standing in the middle of the room, the Ram Rod looming over them, Bulba looking impatient. Before them is a scale model of St. Canard.
BULBA And now, Gosalyn and I will have our little...chat. Bring her in!
MOUTH (O.S.)
Comin' right up, boss!
Hoof and Mouth enter with Gosalyn, each holding one of her arms. She is struggling fiercely against them.
GOSALYN Let go of me! Let go!
Work an arm free she punches Mouth in the gut, then stamps on Hoof's foot. Mouth doubles over with a wheeze; Hoof hops up and down clutching his hurt foot, yelping. Gosalyn charges over and Bulba and ineffectually throws punches at him, but it's like she's punching a brick wall. Slowly, though, she stops, and gazes up at the Ram Rod looming over them, recognizing it.
GOSALYN Hey! That's...
BULBA Yeeeeeeees. Your dear grandfather was a very brilliant scientist, Miss Waddlemeyer. And THIS is is his greatest invention. The Ram Rod
GOSALYN Darkwing Duck is gonna crunch you like a stale corn chip!
Bulba laughs and reaches down, lifting her by the back of her shirt.
BULBA I think not, Miss Waddlemeyer. And if you wish to survive to ever go through high school, you'll do as I say!
GOSALYN But what do you want with a gun that makes things float? What do you want ME for anyway?! Who ARE you guys?
BULBA Your confusion is understandable. But you will understand after this little demonstration I have prepared for your benefit.
He points at the model.
GOSALYN The city...?
BULBA Yes. So peaceful. So secure. Riddled with crime, perhaps, yes, but the entire city itself has never been in jeopordy. Until NOW.
He reaches into his pocket, taking out small remote control. He aims it at the tabletop model, pressing a button. The model begins to rise into the air on a tiny hydraulic lift.
GOSALYN You're gonna lift the city up into the sky? That's the lamest plan ever! I mean, what is THAT supposed to do?
BULBA Well, obviously, the good people of St. Canard will want their dear city safely returned to whence it came...and they'll be willing to pay handsomely for it.
Gosalyn looks a little uncertain.
GOSALYN Wh-what'll you do if they don't pay...?
Bulba frowns and presses another button on the remote. The hydraulics reverse at double speed and the city crashes violently back down onto the table, the miniature buildings all shattering like brittle pottery, making a huge mess. Gosalyn gasps and holds her hands to her cheeks.
BULBA Something like that.
GOSALYN Oh...good point. I DO understand.
BULBA All that is needed now, my dear, is you.
GOSALYN (uncomprehending)
Me? What for?
Bulba smirks.
EXT. MOUNTAINS - NIGHT
The Thunderquack soars into view, flying low over the craggy peaks and mountains.
LAUNCHPAD Okay, here we are. The mountains.
DARKWING I'm amazed this has been such a smooth ride...
LAUNCHPAD Well, see, I've rigged the controls to respond to only to my own, uh, personal brand of piloting.
Darkwing looks out the cockpit window. Nothing but mountaintops, rocks and trees as far as the eye can see.
DARKWING Bulba's lair could be anywhere. Most likely underground. Villainous scum like him always like to skulk in dank caverns. But how do we even begin trying to search for the entrance to it?
LAUNCHPAD Oh, don't worry, I gotcha covered there, D.W. Check THIS out!
He presses a button and a little screen pops out of the control panel, displaying an infra-red image of the mountain range.
DARKWING X-ray vision? Wow!
Darkwing studies the screen for a few moments, squinting, as, finally, the Thunderquack passes over the mountain with the falls.
DARKWING Whoa, whoa, hold it here, that waterfall...
Launchpad stops and put the Thunderquack into hover mode. Studying the scope, Darkwing can see through the waterfall and surrounding rock. He can see Bulba's airship sitting inside a massive hangar, and misc. equipment, and even the van Bulba's goons used in the earlier chase scene.
DARKWING Bingo! One secret lair located!
LAUNCHPAD Now what?
DARKWING We go in and get Gosalyn. What sort of weapons has this thing got?
LAUNCHPAD I thought of everything! It's got missiles, and machineguns and-
His finger goes for a button but Darkwing stops him.
DARKWING On second thought, maybe a direct assault on this place isn't the right idea right now, especially with Gosalyn in there. Find someplace close by to land this thing, Launchpad, we're gonna sneak into that place.
LAUNCHPAD I dunno, D.W., that sounds dangerous.
DARKWING Yeah? Well, then, let's get dangerous.
The Thunderquack turns and banks away from the falls and flies over the treetops and lands in a clearing. Hopping out, Darkwing and Launchpad quickly scurry acrouss the field and into the woods. The mountain in which Bulba's lair resides looms over them like a gigantic monolith. Reaching the base, they begin to climb.
INT. SECRET LAIR - OFFICE
Bulba, Gosalyn and Clovis come up out of the corridor leading to the storeroom, Gosalyn walking alongside Bulba.
GOSALYN But I don't any code!
Bulba whirls and points at her angrily.
BULBA Don't play around with me, little girl! You will tell me the code that arms the Ram Rod, or else!
Gosalyn crosses her arms and scowls, staring angrily up at the huge villain.
GOSALYN You guys always say that. "Or else" WHAT?
A sick, evil smile spreads over Bulba's face.
BULBA Or else I'll let you play with my little pets. Heh-heh-heh.
Gosalyn blinks, then scowls. Suddenly, the steel door that marks the main entrance to the lair explodes inwards off its hinges and clangs loudly to the floor as smoke flows in. Bulba, Gosalyn and Clovis all spin around, startled. Bulba grabs Gosalyn and pulls her to him as Darkwing leaps in dramatically, gas gun drawn, aiming it at the villains. Launchpad staggers in a few seconds later.
LAUNCHPAD (coughing)
Do you ALWAYS have to use that hokey purple has, D.W.?
DARKWING Of course. It makes my entrances far more flashy than if I'd just kicked the door in. But, because I kicked the door in AND jumped in amid a mysterious purple haze-
BULBA *AHEM!*
Darkwing stops midsentance and turns to Bulba.
DARKWING Oh, heh, right. Supervillain.
BULBA Really, Darkwing, these flashy entrances of yours are completely unnecessary.
Darkwing levels the gas gun at him; Gosalyn doesn't make much of a human (er, duck) shield.
DARKWING I didn't come here to discuss stylistic nuances, you over-priced hunk of chuck roast, or else you're gonna EAT one of these gas grenades!
Suddenly, Hoof and Mouth leap out and jump onto Launchpad, pinning him to the ground. Darkwing turns to look at Launchpad; as he does Clovis grabs her necklace and rips it off, unfurling it into a whip. She slings it forwards and it wraps around the gas gun's barrel and Darkwing yelps as it's ripped from his grasp just as Derek Blunt's was before and it clatters to the floor at her feet.
DARKWING What the-? Hey! No fair!
Clovis smirks, coiling the necklace back up calmly, one foot on the gas gun. Bulba grins with pride, then turns back to Darkwing.
FADE TO:
INT. SECRET LAIR - OFFICE
Darkwing and Launchpad, their hands tied together by the wrists, are standing before the trapdoor, Hoof and Mouth behind them with guns pointed at their backs. Bulba stands nearby with Hammerhead. Gosalyn is nowhere to be seen. Bulba comes forwards.
DARKWING You fight dirty, Bulba!
BULBA What did you expect? Now, then, I have must admit I am rather tired of you and your antics, duck, so you and your friend here are going to be disposed of immediately and without delay. Hammerhead?
Hammerhead nods and goes over to the trapdoor, looking a trifle nervous being so near it. He steps on the switch on the floor and the trapdoor slides open revealing a dark pit, and Darkwing and Launchpad stare into it, then look over at Bulba.
BULBA I hope you enjoy meeting my little pets. They do so love to play with their food. Throw them in!
Hoof and Mouth give them a shove and in they go with a yell apiece. Hammerhead closes the trapdoor. Bulba checks his watch.
BULBA It's almost midnight. Come on.
EXT. MOUNTAINSIDE - NIGHT
The false section of the mountain slides away and Bulba's airship flies out and heads off over the forest towards St. Canard in the distance.
INT. SECRET LAIR - PIT OF DOOM
Darkwing and Launchpad both sit up, dazed. A familiar snarling, snapping sound fills the air as dozens of eyes appear in the darkness around them. Nearby is a duck skeleton wearing Derek Blunt's clothes, laying strewn on the floor.
DARKWING Eech, well, now we know what happened to Derek Blunt...
LAUNCHPAD Uh, D.W., any ideas to get us outta this?
DARKWING Relax, Launchpad, you're not the only one who comes prepared!
The cufflinks of his suit sleeves suddenly extend into buzzsaws which slice through his ropes. He then turns and hurriedly cuts through Launchpad's as well. They retract.
LAUNCHPAD Wow! Buzzsaw cufflinks!
DARKWING Got 'em through the mail. Now, let's just see precisely what it is Bulba considers a "pet."
Suddenly from out of the shadows emerges a SUMO-WRESTLING SCORPION! Very quickly it is follow by another, and another, and another, etc. These are scorpions roughly the size of large sofas. Launchpad recoils instantly.
LAUNCHPAD Gyah! Sumo-wrestlin' scorpions! I hate these things!
DARKWING Ah yes. Scorpius gigantus. A rare species from Egypt.
Launchpad backs up against the far wall in fright.
LAUNCHPAD You don't need to tell ME! I've run into this guys before!
DARKWING Ha! It'll take more than a few outsized arachnids to end THIS duck's career! C'mon, Launchpad, let's exterminate a gew big bugs!
He assumes a martial-arts stance as Scorpion #1 charges at him! He dodges its snapping claws, batting them away expertly with his hands, then yelps as the deadly tail stinger comes flying at him, ducking it. He punches the scorpion in the face, dazing it; Scorpion #2 comes up behind him and he hits it with the back of his fist. It collapses to the ground, dazed.
Meanwhile, Launchpad is surrounded by the three remaining scorpions, which drool and lick their lips, claws snapping in anticipation of a meal. Launchpad looks around for anything to use as a weapon and spots only Blunt's skeleton. Wincing, he reaches down and grabs a leg bone.
LAUNCHPAD Ech, sorry about this, Mr. Blunt.
He tries to beat the giant arachnids back using the bone, whacking Scorpion #4 in the face; the bone deflects off of Scorpion #3's claw and then he grabs it and crunches it in half. Launchpad eeps, then just barely dodges Scorpion #5's stinger, pressing back up against the wall.
LAUNCHPAD A little help, D.W.?
Darkwing turns.
DARKWING Hang on, sidekick, I'm coming. Or rather...
Stooping down, he grabs Scorpion #1's tail.
DARKWING ...THIS GUY is!
He swings Scorpion #1 around and around by his tail; this catches the attention of the other three who spin around, wide-eyed. Scorpion #2 comes to and begins get up, cautiously approaching Darkwing, and is nicked upside the head by the spinning Scorpion #1 and goes cross-eyed, thudding to the floor. He finally lets Scorpion #1 fly and he crashes into the other three in a big heap of arachnids. Darkwing dusts his hands off.
DARKWING That's that.
LAUNCHPAD Wow, thanks, D.W., you saved my life!
DARKWING Don't mention it. Now, we gotta figure out how to get out of here before-
The scorpions begin stirring.
DARKWING Well, that was fast...
He and Launchpad back up against one another, as the five scorpions start closing in on them. Suddenly the trapdoor opens and light floods the pit! The scorpions yelp and shield their eyes with their claws, so used to the dark. Darkwing and Launchpad look up to to find Gryzlikoff with Agents Shale, Granite, Gravel and Quartz! Granite tosses down a rope to them.
GRYZLIKOFF Grab the rope! Hurry!
Needing no persuasion, they do and are hauled to safety by the S.H.U.S.H. agents, deftly avoiding the snapping claws as the scorpions begin getting used to the light.
INT. SECRET LAIR - OFFICE
Grunting, the four subordinate S.H.U.S.H. agents haul both Darkwing and Launchpad to safety out of the pit. They both collapse to the floor, gasping and panting. Darkwing's gas gun is still lying on the floor where Clovis left it. Shale and Gravel help them up as Gryzlikoff comes over, smirking, standing right by the edge of the pit.
DARKWING Thanks, but-how did you-
Gryzlikoff smirks and holds up a transmitter.
GRYZLIKOFF Director Hooter planted tracking device on ridiculous-looking motorcycle. We followed you to McQuack's airfield, and from there it was child's play to follow you here to secret laur. Luckily we arrived just in time.
The other agents begin snooping around the office.
GRYZLIKOFF I KNEW you would fail to stop Bulba a second time! This time, you are going to let S.H.U.S.H. take over case!
DARKWING This is just a minor setback...
GRYZLIKOFF "Minor setbacks" seem to big problem with you, duck.
Suddenly, Scorpion #2 comes out of the still open pit, roaring, claws snapping. Gryzlikoff spins, eyes wide, and yells as the monster arachnid is about to impale him with its stinger. Darkwing ducks, and rolls over to where his gas gun is, grabs it in mid-roll, rights himself, then aims the weapon at the creature.
DARKWING Suck gas, bug boy!
He fires a gas pellet that smacks Scorpion #2 in the face, setting off a cloud of purple smoke that knocks the giant scorpion back into the pit and leaves Gryzlikoff coughing.
GRYZLIKOFF (coughing)
Close it, close it!
Agent Shale hurriedly finds the switch and presses it and the trapdoor slams shut. Coughing, Gryzlikoff waves the smoke away as Darkwing walks over, blowing the excess smoke off the barrel of the gas gun.
DARKWING You were saying...?
Gryzlikoff sighs.
GRYZLIKOFF You saved my life. As much as it annoys me, I owe you.
DARKWING Don't mention it, Grizz. Just let me handle the case and get Gosalyn back.
Gryzlikoff fumes.
GRYZLIKOFF I KNEW you would ask THAT!
DARKWING I'll take that as a yes. Come on, Launchpad!
They race from the room. Gryzlikoff watches them go, scowling.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP
The enormous airborne bull's head is passing over St. Canard.
INT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - BRIDGE
Bulba is at the controls with Clovis.
BULBA We'll have to mount the Ram Rod on the foreward observation deck.
Alarms begin going off.
BULBA What now?
CLOVIS We have a bogey on collision course with us!
BULBA What? What fool would DARE?!
He walks over to the viewscreen.
BULBA Onscreen!
The screen flickers to show the Thunderquack! Bulba couldn't be more surprised.
BULBA It's not possible! That duck just won't die!
He whirls to Clovis.
BULBA All battle rigs, open fire! DESTROY HIM!
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP
Several anti-aircraft battle rigs pop out of various sections of the ship and begin shooting at the Thunderquack. Launchpad dodges most of them easily, but a few explosions buffet the jet. Inside, he and Darkwing are getting jostled around. The Thunderquack looks like a tiny fly buzzing around the giant airship.
DARKWING All right, here's the plan, Launchpad! You get me on top of that thing, and then go back and get J. Gander and that Grizzlikof guy and tell them to send a strike force of jets when I give the signal after I've got Gosalyn!
LAUNCHPAD D.W.-
DARKWING Look, I'm not going to let that thing be blown to smithereens until I've got that kid back safe and sound! Now land me on that thing!
Launchpad sighs and dives down swoops low over the deck of the ship; we can see the helicopter Bulba's goons used previously sitting parked on the back end. The Thunderquack lowers down but doesn't actually land, and Darkwing pocks the canopy and hops out.
DARKWING You know what to do!
LAUNCHPAD Gotcha, D.W.!
He closes the cockpit, turns, and flies off. Darkwing turns towards the nearest entranceway into the ship, looking determined.
DARKWING All right, Taurus Bulba, now it's time to-
Suddenly he hears an explosion and spins around, wide-eyed. One of the airship's guns got lucky; the Thunderquack has taken a direct hit to its left rear engine! He spins around wildly and nosedives, leaving a trail of black smoke. Darkwing runs over to the edge of the ship and looks down, watching with horror as the Thunderquack vanishes through the clouds.
DARKWING LAUNCHPAAAAAAAAAD!
He hears the click of an automatic weapon. Slowly, he turns and finds himself facing Hammerhead, Hoof and Mouth aiming guns at him.
HAMMERHEAD If I was you, I'd be more worried about myself right now, duck-o.
FADE TO:
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - FORWARD OBSERVATION DECK
The Ram Rod has been mounted at the front of the deck, just above the "brow" of the "face" that makes up the front of the ship. Clovis is at the controls of the Ram Rod. Bulba, Hammerhead and Hoof and Mouth stand nearby, as do Darkwing and Gosalyn. Gosalyn is still tied up. They talk quietly to one another.
GOSALYN I'm sorry, Darkwing. If he hadn't caught me, this wouldn't have happened and Launchpad would still be alive...
DARKWING It's all right, Gosalyn. It's not your fault.
He gently puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Bulba, standing nearby with Tantalus the condor perched on his shoulder, observes this and smirks. He walks over.
BULBA So, it seems you two are close. How touching. How... fortunate.
DARKWING What do you mean?
BULBA I'm afraid that everything I have tried to make the girl tell me the code has failed.
GOSALYN But I don't-
DARKWING She doesn't know your stupid code, okay? Her grandfather died and took it with him to the gra-uh, to heaven.
BULBA I know she knows it! She has to! And I'm going to get it out of her one way or another!
Darkwing looks uneasily at Gosalyn. Suddenly, Tantalus leaps off of Bulba's shoulder and grabs Gosalyn's shirt in his talons. Before Darkwing can move, the huge bird has lifted the girl off her feet. She shrieks as Tantalus flies up into the air.
DARKWING No! Gosalyn!
He moves to attack Bulba but is pounced on by Hammerhead, Hoof and Mouth who hold him down as he kicks and struggles.
BULBA Relax, Mr. Darkwing, this will all be over shortly. Now, then...
He turns and looks up at Gosalyn.
BULBA My dear, sweet little Gosalyn. Tell me the code, and I will spare your life. Refuse, and you're going to end up a very ugly stain on the pavement!
She sobs, struggling uselessly in Tantalus' grip.
GOSALYN I don't know any code, I swear!
BULBA You may know it and not know it. Think, girl, did your grandfather ever make you memorize anything?
GOSALYN Just a lullaby...
Bulba scowls, then raises his hand up. Tantalus tenses, and then Bulba swipes his hand down. Tantalus' talons release Gosalyn and she plummets screaming from the sky.
DARKWING Noooooooooooooo!
He fights against the three henchmen, but they are too strong. Bulba laughs at his helplessness, then signals for Tantalus to retrieve Gosalyn. The condor swoops down and catches her in midair and flies her back up to the ship. She looks scared and a little sick to her stomach, but otherwise none the worse for wear.
GOSALYN Ugh, and I used to buy tickets for rides like that...
BULBA Now then, for the last time, tell me what I want to know!
DARKWING She doesn't know the code!
HAMMERHEAD Shut up!
Hammerhead smacks Darkwing, who keeps talking.
DARKWING But I DO!
BULBA What did you say?
He turns to Darkwing. The goons haul him to his feet as Bulba walks over, glaring down at him.
DARKWING It's the lullaby! The lyrics contain the code to your stupid weapon!
Bulba blinks.
HAMMERHEAD It's a trick, boss! It's gotta be! He's lyin'!
BULBA I think not. That actually sounds like something that sentimental old fool Waddlemeyer would do. All right, Mr. Darkwing, I'll bite. What is the code?
DARKWING Let Gosalyn go and I'll tell you.
BULBA Nuh-uh! Code first, THEN I release the girl.
Watching from above, Gosalyn looks positively devestated at what is going on.
DARKWING All right, all right!
The goons release him and he sighs, hanging his head. Clovis comes over holding a notepad and a pen. Everyone hovers expectantly around Darkwing.
BULBA Well...?
Darkwing takes a deep breath and begins to sing softly.
DARKWING 'Close your eyes, Little Girl Blue, come paint your dreams on your pillow. Yellow, blue, red, blue, purple too. Blue, purple, and green and yellow.'
Clovis hurriedly scribbles on her notepad as Hammerhead, Hoof and Mouth stifle laughter.
BULBA Again!
Darkwing glares up at him.
DARKWING Yellow, blue, red, blue, purple, blue, purple, green, and yellow. That's the code. I'm not going to repeat myself.
Bulba looks wordlessly at Clovis who gives a small smile and nods to indicate that she got the code. She hands him the notepad and he goes over to the Ram Rod.
DARKWING Now let Gosalyn go!
BULBA In a second! You think I'm a fool? This code could be a fake!
Darkwing sighs.
Bulba hums the tune as he enters the code into the colored keys on the control panel.
BULBA 'Yellow, blue, red' blue, purple-' Ugh, what an idiotic song.
He finishes entering the code and steps back. There is a low humming sound and the entire machine lights up brilliantly. The tip of the barrel crackles with a sparkling electrical aura. The words "WEAPON ONLINE" scroll across the little screen on the panel. Bulba throws his arms up jubliantly.
BULBA Yes! At last!
Darkwing walks over to stand beside him.
BULBA Keep your cape on, duck, I want to test it first.
He holds up his hands and wiggles his fingers like a piano player about to perform, grinning demonically. He then begins pressing buttons and pulling levers wildly, laughing. The Ram Rod's barrel tilts downwards, aiming down at the city, aiming at a Hamburger Hippo fast-food joint.
BULBA Ah-ha! I think that disgusting heart attack factory will do nicely.
EXT. HAMBURGER HIPPO - NIGHT
A car containing a family, the MUDDLEFOOTS is at the drive-thru. HERB, the father, is arguing with an EMPLOYEE at the window. His wife BINKIE and two sons HONKER and TANK sit in the backseat.
HERB I said THREE milkshakes! Can't you idiots do anything right?
BINKIE Oh, Herb, let it go. You need to cut down on your sugar intake anyway.
EMPLOYEE I'm sorry, sir, if you are disatisfied, might I reccommend our free coupon for-
Suddenly there is an inexplicable electric crackling sound. They both look up. Bulba's airship can be seen high above, and a sparkling psychadelic beam is barrelling towards them.
BINKIE What in the name of-
The beam SLAMS into the Hamburger Hippo restaurant, completely enveloping the building, including the Muddlefoots' car. There is a deep rumble and the building, screaming customers, employees and all, is hauled about ten feet into the air.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - FORWARD OBSERVATION DECK
The beam, we see, is coming from the barrel of the Ram Rod. Bulba is looking down from the top of the deck, hands clasped together in joy, Clovis beside him and looking through a telescope. Darkwing, beside them, is watching in horror. The distant screams of the people inside the restaurant can be faintly heard.
CLOVIS I think it's working.
BULBA It actually works! Waddlemeyer was a genius!
DARKWING Put them down!
BULBA My, aren't WE full of demands tonight. Fine. I'll put them down!
He chuckles and pulls a lever on the Ram Rod. The beam stops and disappears.
DARKWING No!
EXT. HAMBURGER HIPPO - NIGHT
The aura vanishes from around the building and car. It all hovers in midair for a couple of seconds, then drops like a stone, smashing back into its original position. Luckily, it was only so high up that the fall causes only minor injuries, but major structural damage to the restaurant.
EMPLOYEE (dazed)
Whoa, whatw as THAT...?
HERB (also dazed)
I dunno, but that's the last time I come to Hamburger Hippo...
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - FORWARD OBSERVATION DECK
Darkwing turns and glares at Bulba. He balls up his fists.
DARKWING You-you butcher!
He charges at him, but Bulba laughs and holds his hand out, grabbing Darkwing's head, holding him at arm's length like a school bully. He then shoves him down.
BULBA You truly are pitiful.
Darkwing sits up, scowling.
BULBA Now, to see what this thing can REALLY do!
DARKWING Your plan will never work, Bulba. You can't steal an entire-
BULBA Oh, can't I?! Just watch THIS!
He pushes a throttle forwards on the control panel, and the humming noise of the Ram Rod grows louder and louder, and then the beam fires again, striking the town square of St. Canard. Darkwing crawls over to the edge of the deck and peers down, watching as the aura of the beam begins spreading over the city, covering buildings, trees, everything.
EXT. HAMBURGER HIPPO - NIGHT
Everyone looks up, terrified, as the beam moves overhead, beginning to cover the city like a gigantic dome.
EXT. ST. CANARD HIGH - NIGHT
The high school, not seen since the beginning of the story, is suddenly split in half!
INT. S.H.U.S.H. CENTRAL - J. GANDER'S OFFICE
J. Gander, sitting at his desk, frowns as the desk begins to rattle. Pens, papers, books, a bust of the Predsident, etc. begin to jump and wobble on the desktop. Books fall off of shelves and crash to the floor.
J. GANDER What's happening?!
He jumps up and runs to the window. There's a bright flash, and he shields his eyes, the energy "dome" looming over S.H.U.S.H. headquarters. Various interior shots of agents, scientists and office workers reacting to the rumblings, stuff falling and breaking, etc.
Back in J. Gander's office, he struggles to keep his footing as he runs for the door.
J. GANDER Gryzlikoff!
Gryzlikoff comes in and he and J. Gander run smack into one another and fall down.
GRYZLIKOFF Oof! What's happening?
J. GANDER It's Taurus Bulba! He's activated the Ram Rod!
EXT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT
Cops are running outside to see what all the fuss is about, guns drawn. Cars jump about madly, alarms going off.
POLICE OFFICER #2 It's an eartquake!
POLICE OFFICER #1 Yeah, but with Aurora Borealis! Look!
He points up at the bright dome. All the cops, plus some gathered onlookers, gawk. Suddenly there is an ear-splitting CRACK and the street splits straight down the middle. Everyone frantically backpedals as the crack widens. The police keep everyone back as cars and telephone poles fall through the crack.
POLICE OFFICER #2 Keep back! Everybody stay back!
A wider shot of the city reveals cracks are spreading throughout town, until, ultimately, the city has been divided into four separate sections. Back to the outside of the police station, the side with the station house on it begins to lift up and away from the opposite side. The cops and people on this side look up, wide-eyed. Suddenly THEY begin to rise, too. Another, wider shot reveals all four sections of the city are becoming uprooted from their foundations and begin lifted up, slowly, into the sky as one entity, leaving behind a huge crater.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - FORWARD OBSERVATION DECK
Everyone on deck gawks as the whole city rises up before them. Hoof leans back so far he falls over. Bulba just cackles insanely.
BULBA Excellent, excellent! This will do NICELY!
He pulls a switch and the city stops in the air, in a position about a mile out from the airship and thirty feet higher than the ship. The beam remains constant. It is the only thing holding St. Canard aloft. Sirens, screams, etc. can be faintly heard. Bulba kisses the Ram Rod and then goes over to where his gang members are standing. They all cheer. Hoof and Mouth throw their hats into the air. They and Hammerhead are slapping Bulba on the back in congratulations.
HAMMERHEAD Awesome plan, boss!
HOOF Absolutely brilliant!
MOUTH Stupendously, super-duperly amazing!
DARKWING It worked. It actually worked. He stole an entire city. I don't believe it.
He shakes his head.
DARKWING Whatever. Now, you got what you wanted. The code works, and the weapon works. Now, let Gosalyn go! And I DON'T mean as in drop her to her death!
BULBA Fine, fine, fine, if it will make you shut up!
He signals to Tantalus, who drops Gosalyn. She falls a short distance and lands in Darkwing's outstretched arms. He sighs in relief, then sets her down and begins to untie her. Once she's free, she hugs him tightly and he comforts her. Ignoring them, Bulba turns and addresses his gang as Tantalus lights on his arm.
BULBA Now, we must go below decks and contact S.H.U.S.H. Central. I have a little ransom demand to make.
HAMMERHEAD What about the duck?
Bulba turns and looks at Darkwing and Gosalyn.
BULBA I promised not to hurt the girl. Take her.
Hoof and Mouth grab her away from Darkwing, who is then seized by the scruff by Bulba.
BULBA But I don't remember agreeing to spare YOU.
DARKWING Why you two-timing, doublecrossing-
He's cut off as Bulba unceremoniously holds him out over the edge of the platform and lets him go. He plummets screaming out of sight.
GOSALYN Darkwing! No! You big bully! You killed Mr. Darkwing!
BULBA So I have. Take her below!
Hoof and Mouth nod and drag the struggling little girl off. Bulba then turns to Clovis.
BULBA Clovis, my dear, would you be good enough to ensure that the beam remains constant? I wouldn't want to drop the city too soon.
CLOVIS Yes, Taurus Bulba.
He turns and marches off after his men, Hammerhead following.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - "FACE"
Darkwing, sans his fedora, is clinging for dear life to the left "nostril" of the airship's "snout," cape billowing wildly in the wind. He is struggling to haul himself up.
DARKWING Got to-unh! Get up-before-erk...fall to-untimely demise...
Using the last of his strength, he manages to hoist himself up so that he's now on the "snout." With a deep sigh he collapses, panting.
DARKWING Ouch, man. Sometimes this whole hero gig ain't all it's cracked up to be.
He sits up.
DARKWING But griping is for sore losers! And I may be sore, but one thing I am *NOT* is a loser! I've been through car chases, explosions, been kidnapped, faced killer condors and giant scorpions, all in the space of about forty-eight hours! There is NO WAY I am giving up now!
He pauses, then glances up.
DARKWING Now if I can just figure out a way to get back UP THERE, I can start kicking some rump roast!
Suddenly there is the roar of jet engines and THE THUNDERQUACK appears! Darkwing spins around, wide-eyed, and sees Launchpad waving at him from the cockpit. He rushes over to the edge of the "snout," skids to a halt mere inches from the edge, and teeters precariously before regaining his balance. Launchpad opens the cockpit.
LAUNCHPAD Hiya, D.W.!
DARKWING Launchpad! What are YOU doing here? I-I thought Bulba's guns blew you outta the sky!
LAUNCHPAD They did. But luckily I was able to make a, uh, "forced landing" in some field.
DARKWING Lucky you landed outside the city. Otherwise you'd be trapped up there inside that behemoth bubble with the rest of St. Canard.
He points at the still-floating city.
LAUNCHPAD Yeah, no kiddin'. Anyway, you look like you could use a lift. Hop in!
Darkwing wastes no time in jumping into the co-pilot's seat. Launchpad closes the cockpit canopy and pulls away from the front of the airship.
INT. THUNDERQUACK COCKPIT
DARKWING Thanks for not saying "I told ya so."
LAUNCHPAD Huh?
DARKWING Nevermind.
LAUNCHPAD Oh, uh, okay. Heh-heh. So, what's the plan, D.W.?
Darkwing turns and looks at the airship as they circle it.
DARKWING We've got to figure out a way to rescue Gosalyn, destroy the Ramrod, then defeat Taurus Bulba, and then return St. Canard to its rightful spot. Um, not necessarily in that order of course.
LAUNCHPAD Well, stop me if I'm wrong, D.W., but before we can do any of that, we need to be ON the airship to begin with.
DARKWING Good point. And how, pray tell, are we going to do that?
LAUNCHPAD Well, like I always say; when in doubt...make a crash landing!
He suddenly pushes the throttle forwards!
EXT. THUNDERQUACK
The duck-shaped jet makes a beeline for the bull-shaped airship.
INT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - BRIDGE
Bulba is standing, looking relaxed, as he speaks to J. Gander Hooter who is on the big viewscreen.
BULBA ...so, as you can see, Mr. Director, I hold not only you but every single citizen of St. Canard hostage. If I were you, I would pay up.
J. GANDER (sighs deeply)
All right, Bulba, you win. S.H.U.S.H. will wire the first payment as soon as possible.
BULBA Good. I knew you would be reasonable. Heh-heh.
He presses a button on the armrest, and the viewscreen goes blank.
Gosalyn is sitting in the throne-like chair, her expression a mixture of fear and anger; Tantalus is perched on the back of the throne, keeping an eye on her, the only thing keeping her from trying to run away. Every time she even moves, the condor will shift his position and make a subtle, threatening squawk.
Hammerhead, Hoof and Mouth are sitting at the control stations. Hammerhead laughs, turning around in his chair.
HAMMERHEAD Boy, boss, what a haul this is gonna be!
BULBA Yes, two-million dollars, per week, for an entire month will certainly leave us set for life. I might even buy my own country!
Suddenly an alarm goes off. Tantalus squawks and flaps his wings. Gosalyn looks up, wide-eyed. The goons consult their instruments.
HOOF Uh-oh!
MOUTH "Uh-oh?" What "uh-oh?" "Uh-oh" is not good!
He and Hoof both look at a small radar screen between them. Bulba looks over as Hammerhead comes over and has a look for himself.
HAMMERHEAD Boss! That stupid-lookin' duck-shaped jet is back!
BULBA What?!
HAMMERHEAD And it's headin' right at us!
Bulba is aghast, shocked. Gosalyn, on the other hand, is delighted.
GOSALYN Launchpad's alive!
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - FORWARD OBSERVATION DECK
Clovis looks up from the Ramrod's controls and gasps. The Thunderquack goes sailing over both her and the machine. She ducks a bit, reflexively.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - MAIN DECK
The Thunderquack careens downwards and slams into the main deck and goes skidding across it, leaving a trail of sparks, and comes to a stop mere inches away from colliding with the parked helicopter. For a moment, nothing happens, and there is just the sizzling, hissing sound of sparks and smoke rising gently from the skid marks left along the deck. Then, all of a sudden, the canopy pops open and Darkwing leaps out, gas gun in hand.
DARKWING All right, Launchpad, you know the drill. I'll take the big bull, you deal with missy and the Ramrod over there.
Launchpad gets out after him.
LAUNCHPAD But D.W., I dunno how to work that thing! What if I push the wrong button and drop the city?
DARKWING You built a jet that looks like my face in just a single year, Launchpad. I think you can handle an anti-gravity superweapon.
Hoof and Mouth emerge from below decks, looking mean.
DARKWING Ho-ho! And what do we have here but the lackeys! I gotta say I am really tired of you guys.
MOUTH Yeah? Well, you worn out YOUR welcome, too, duck! Get 'im!
Hoof and Mouth charge. Hoof reaches Darkwing first; he throws a punch, misses, and goes past Darkwing who then socks Mouth in the gut, then uppercuts him. As this is going on, Launchpad is discretely making his way over to the forward observation deck.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - FORWARD OBSERVATION DECK
Clovis is watching from her elevated position; she turns and looks at Launchpad as he comes over and timidly ascends the steps to the observation deck.
LAUNCHPAD Uh, hiya there, Mrs. Cow Lady. Uh, I don't think we've been formally introduced. I'm Launchpad McQuack, and I was wonderin'-
She grabs her necklace and rips it off; it unfurls into a long whip. Launchpad's eyes widen.
LAUNCHPAD -uh, wonderin' if you could possibly, maybe see fit to, uh-
Clovis steps towards him, giving the whip a few threatening twirls; Launchpad takes a step back, grinning nervously, sweat starting to pour down the sides of his face.
LAUNCHPAD -return the lovely city of St. Canard back to where it belongs, and-
Suddenly she slings the whip, hitting him in the shoulder and ripping his jacket.
LAUNCHPAD Ow! Hey! Careful with that thing! You could put hurt somebody!
She scowls and slings the whip a second time, slicing off the dangling portion of his scarf.
LAUNCHPAD Gah! And now I, uh, I see that that's the idea...
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - MAIN DECK
Darkwing delivers a right hook to the side of Hoof's snout, sending the donkey goon half spinning, half stumbling over to where Mouth is already lying unconscious. He falls down right on top of him. Dusting his hands off, Darkwing turns towards the door the two goons came out of.
DARKWING Now to find Gosalyn.
He rushes in.
INT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - CORRIDOR A
The interior of Bulba's ship is all stainless steel lit from lights in the floor. Drawing his gas gun, Darkwing proceeds cautiously forwards.
DARKWING Lovely decor...
He comes to a T-shaped section at the end of the corridor.
DARKWING Hmm, left or right. Eenie, meenie, minie mo, catch a villain by his toe...
Shrugging, he goes left.
INT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - CORRIDOR B
Darkwing tops as he sees a surveillance camera; shoots it with his gas gun and knocks it out. Suddenly, machineguns emerge from the walls and open fire!
DARKWING Yipes!
He runs down the hall, nimbly dodging the bullets which rip into the metal floor.
DARKWING At least I know I'm going the right way!
INT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - CONTROL ROOM
Bulba turns to Gosalyn.
BULBA It seems your friend is hurrying to join us. Although I think my ship's defenses are making short work of him.
She glares up at him.
INT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - CORRIDOR C
This is the corridor that the control room opens onto. We can hear the sounds of gunfire and Darkwing comes speeding around the corner and stops, catching his breath, then, with newfound resolve, starts running again, and runs right past the control room door!
INT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - CONTROL ROOM
Darkwing is a purple blur that goes past the open door. Bulba catches it out of the corner of his eye, blinks, and turns.
BULBA No, it couldn't be...
INT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - CORRIDOR C
Darkwing skids to a halt, having realized he passed by his intended target. Reeling around he runs back the other way.
INT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - CONTROL ROOM
Darkwing leaps in dramatically, gas gun drawn.
DARKWING Ha-HA!
BULBA ...it IS! Y-you survived?!
Gosalyn turns around in the throne, sees Darkwing, and her eyes go wide and fill with tears of joy. Bulba clenches his fists angrily.
DARKWING Listen up,you over-priced chuck roast! I've had it up to HERE with this back and forth business! This ends right here, right now! Release Gosalyn, and put that city back where it belongs, or else I'm gonna get Hamburger Hippo on your fanny, got it?
Bulba growls, clenching his fists harder; Hammerhead, looking mean, steps forward.
DARKWING So, now it's YOUR turn, huh, prong-brain?
HAMMERHEAD Prong-brain?! Why you-I'm gonna flatten you like a two-penny nail, duck!
He ducks his head and charges. Bulba, suddenly afraid, holds his hands up.
BULBA No, Hammerhead! The instruments!
Hammerhead ignores him. Darkwing aims the gas gun, squeezes the trigger; it clicks emptily.
DARKWING Whuh-oh...
He leaps aside, and the goat's head slams into the wall beside the door, putting a huge dent in the metal. He recovers, turns, ducks his head again, and chases Darkwing around and around the throne. Tantalus gets dizzy watching them go 'round; Bulba steps back, frowning. Finally, Gosalyn sticks her foot out and trips Hammerhead, sending him flying through the air.
HAMMERHEAD Whoooooooooooooa!
He crashes headfirst into the main flight controls of the airship, completely destroying them, his head going clean through the panels, TV monitors, etc., sparks flying everywhere. Alarms begin to blare. Bulba looks up, wide-eyed, and while he is distracted, Darkwing grabs Gosalyn, Gosalyn giving Tantalus a good punch to the beak that knocks the condor off his perch, feathers flying everywhere, and they run out. Then Bulba turns and sees the empty throne.
BULBA Where is he?! He was right here a second ago!
INT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - CORRIDOR B
Darkwing races down the corridor laden with machineguns, pulling Gosalyn along behind him by the arm. The guns do not fire this time, although their barrels are still smoking from last time. Without dawdling, they rush around the corner at the T-junction, just as Bulba appears at the opposite end. He growls.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - MAIN DECK
Hoof and Mouth are still lying on the deck as Darkwing and Gosalyn come running out and both stop, panting, taking a breather. Immediately she gives him a great big hug.
GOSALYN Oh, Darkwing, I KNEW you weren't dead! But where's Launchpad?
DARKWING He's, uh, dealing with Bulba's lady friend. Listen, I have a sinking feeling this airship is going to crash soon, so we have to figure out how to work the-
Suddenly Bulba comes leaping through the doorway, slamming into Darkwing. Gosalyn is knocked back a bit. Bulba skids to a halt, holding Darkwing by the front of his suit.
DARKWING Gosalyn, go help Launchpad! I'll-
Reeling back his fist BUlba punches him and Darkwing goes sailing across the deck, slamming into the side of the Thunderquack.
DARKWING (dazed)
...handle...B-Bulba...
Gosalyn, looking torn, finally turns and heads off in the direction of the forward observation deck. Steam jetting from his nostrils, Bulba storms over, ignoring the fleeing Gosalyn and indifferently stepping over Hoof and Mouth, and gets to Darkwing, who is trying to recover.
DARKWING Oof...that's gonna hurt in the morning.
He looks up, sees Bulba above him, then yelps as Bulba throws another punch, ducking. Bulba's fist hits the Thunderquack, dents the hull. Darkwing, realizing there's no way, he's going to match up this guy physically, scurries underneath it, and out the other side. With a growl, Bulba grabs the jet and roughly shoves it aside as though it were made of tinfoil, sending it skidding harmlessly a ways across the deck. He then turns and resumes charging after Darkwing.
As he does so, we pan over to where the airship's main engines are, located at the rear. They sputter.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - FORWARD OBSERVATION DECK
Launchpad is not having a good day. His shirt is shredded - he's been whipped several times and looks like he's at the end of his rope. Clovis, smirking, wraps the whip around his throat and prepares to strangle him when suddenly she's struck in the back of the head by a flung wrench.
CLOVIS Uh!
She falls off the side of the observation platform and thuds to the main deck below. We then see that it was Gosalyn who threw it. She dusts her hands off and climbs up. Launchpad sits up, shaking his head, dizzy, drained.
LAUNCHPAD Whoa, man, thanks, Gos, I thought that lady cow was gonna be the end of me. Wh-where's D.W.?
Gosalyn throws an uncertain glance back over her shoulder; in the distance we can see Bulba running after Darkwing. She turns back to Launchpad.
GOSALYN He's, uh, "handling" Taurus Bulba. Which means he's gettin' his butt kicked, and WE gotta help him!
She goes over to the Ramrod's control panel as Launchpad gets up, collecting himself. Holding one side of his head, he follows her, staggering a bit, always looking like a drunk about to collapse. Gosalyn studies the many buttons, switches and diodes before her.
GOSALYN But first, we've gotta put the city back where it belongs.
LAUNCHPAD Wow, uh, are you sure you know how to work this thing?
GOSALYN Well, Grandpa DID build it, but he never really let me play in his lab, so I only know a little bit. That's the activator lever. But, hmm...
Stooping down, she opens a compartment located just beneath the control panel, removing a dusty, thin booklet titled, "WADDLEMEYER RAMROD HANDBOOK." She smiles, opening it up and flipping through the pages.
GOSALYN When in doubt, use the owner's guidebook.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - MAIN DECK
Darkwing is at the edge, literally. It's thousands of feet straight down, except for the "horn" attached to the side of the ship by a thick beam. Darkwing backs up to the edge, teeters, fighting for balance, as Bulba steps up, glaring down at him. He makes a grab for Darkwing, but he jumps up, onto Bulba's chest, and clambers over the surprised bull, using his horns as handlebars. Jumping down behind Bulba, he turns and gives him a shove with all his might. All his might might not be good enough on any other occasion, but here, it actually succeeds in making Bulba lose his balance, and over the side he goes with a scream.
Darkwing, cautiously, approaches the edge, and looks down...and is immediately seized by Bulba whose fall was broken by the beam connecting the horn to the side of the ship. Bulba holds Darkwing bodily over his head, turns, and flings him. Darkwing lands on the beam a few feet away, clinging for dear life.
DARKWING Ack, oof, ugh, I should've known, the main bad guy never dies that easily...
He manages to climb back up. The beam is about two feet across, and twenty feet from the side of the ship to the horn. Darkwing balances himself, cape flapping in the wind. Bulba glares at him, gritting his teeth, pure, animalistic rage having overcome the criminal genius brain. He's a powerhouse of fury, now, and nothing short of death is going to stop him from ripping Darkwing apart.
Darkwing balls up his fist, rushes forwards fearlessly, and lays in a few punches to Bulba's stomach, but the big bull just laughs and shoves him down. It's a miracle he doesn't accidentally roll right off the edge!
BULBA I underestimated you once, Darkwing Duck. This time, you simply die.
He raises a foot to kick him off, when, siddenly, there is an earth-shaking EXPLOSION! Both Darkwing and Bulba stop what they're doing and turn, seeing a huge ball of flame erupting from the left rear engine of the ship, a result of the flight controls being damaged, no doubt. The entire ship rumbles. Darkwing uses this distraction to get up and kick Bulba in the belly. Bulba, unprepared, takes the hit and doubles over in wide-eyed agony, and then Darkwing hammers him over the head, and down Bulba goes. Darkwing steps back, watching. Bulba begins to stir.
DARKWING Jeez, what's it take to put you down?!
Turning, he hurries, as quickly and as carefully as he can, away from Bulba in the only direction he can - away from the main body of the ship and towards the massive horn. Bulba gets up, holding his stomach, grunting in pain, necktie flapping in the wind, buttons missing from his suit; nothing like the well-manicured businessman he appeared to be mere minutes ago! He watches as Darkwing climbs up onto the horn.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - FORWARD OBSERVATION DECK
Gosalyn is hurriedly flipping through the owner's book. Launchpad is biting his nails fearfully behind her, occasionally looking back at the left engine off in the distance, spewing smoke. Slowly but surely, the airship is beginning to veer to one side - donwards. And it's going to take all of St. Canard with it! Finally Gosalyn closes the book!
GOSALYN Okay, I think I figured this thing out!
LAUNCHPAD Yeah, well, ya better hurry! We don't exactly have a whole lotta time, here!
Gosalyn smiles confidently and begins pushing buttons and pulling levers, seemingly at random.
GOSALYN Don't worry, this'll just take a second...or, however long it takes to lower a whole city back down to the ground.
Finally she grabs the main joystick and very, very carefully, pushes it forwards. The Ramrod's barrel tilts down slowly, the beam, and the city it is enveloping, slowly following suit. The barrel stops, and, working the controls further, Gosalyn manipulates the anti-gravity beam to begin slowly lowering St. Canard back down to the ground. Launchpad's eyes go wide.
LAUNCHPAD You're doin' it!
Slowly, slooooooooowly, the city is lowered back down into the absolutely massive crater that was left behind when the Ramrod uprooted it. Gosalyn hurriedly flips another sitch and the beam disappears. She turns and high-fives Launchpad.
LAUNCHPAD Ya did, Gos! Ya saved the whole city!
GOSALYN And I'm only twelve!
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - RIGHT HORN
Darkwing, standing on the horn, can see the city has been returned. As can Bulba who is climbing up behind him.
DARKWING Yes!
BULBA No!
Darkwing turns and sees Bulba.
DARKWING Oh, crap.
Spinning, he runs. Another loud boom is heard that rocks the whole ship.
INT. S.H.U.S.H. CENTRAL - J. GANDER'S OFFICE
J. Gander and Gryzlikoff are both are the window, looking up.
GRYZLIKOFF I don't believe it! Darkwing Duck has actually succeeded in returning city.
J. GANDER (gravely)
Yes, but now he's got other problems...
EXT. ST. CANARD - STREETS, VARIOUS
Various citizens standing in the streets, looking out of windows, etc., as Bulba's airship flies past overhead, trailing smoke and billowing fire from its back end. It's going to crash. There's no doubt about that.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - RIGHT HORN
Darkwing along the horn, which is almost as long as the entire airship itself, but soon it thins out and cuves up into a pointed tip, being a horn and all. He stops as he gets to this and looks down, watching the skyscrapers going by beneath them as the ship flies over the city.
BULBA Ah-ha-ha-haa! There's nowhere left to run, duck!
Darkwing tries to jump up and grab the curved tip, but just slides uselessly back down, unable to find any sort of hold on the smooth metal. Rolling over, get gets up, glares at Bulba, and charges, leaping at him. Bulba roars and swings a huge arm, which Darkwing ducks. He turns, and so does Bulba. Bulba is faster, and before Darkwing can react he is viciously backhanded and sent flying backwards!
DARKWING Yaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - MAIN DECK
The very surface of the deck is rumbling and quaking. Hoof and Mouth are stirring as Tantalus comes frantically flapping out of the corridor entrance and takes off. Both goons see the exploding engine, look at each other, get the same idea, and bolt as one in the direction of the helicopter.
Meanwhile, nearby, Clovis also gets to her feet, holding the back of her head. Looking over, she sees Bulba fighting Darkwing over on the horn, then she turns and races across the deck, also heading for the chopper. Hammerhead staggers out, in a daze, and stumbles after her.
Hoof is already in the pilot's seat and starting the chopper up, Mouth buckling in beside him. Clovis comes up, slowing to a light jog, looking calm and collected. She slides into the back, Hammerhead getting in after her.
CLOVIS (to Hoof)
Get us out of here.
HAMMERHEAD What about Taurus Bulba? I mean, we're not gonna leave...
She turns and looks at him. He gulps.
HAMMERHEAD Yeah, okay...
Hoof and Mouth exchange uncertain glances. A moment later, the helicopter lifts off and leaves the deck, and the airship behind, altogether.
Even as it's leaving, Gosalyn and Launchpad are climbing down from the observation deck. The pause briefly to watch the helicopter flying off, then hurry over to the Thunderquack.
LAUNCHPAD Get in, Gos, quick!
She hops into the passenger's seat. Launchpad looks worriedly over at where Darkwing and Bulba are still fighting on the horn.
GOSALYN What about Darkwing?! We can't just leave him!
Launchpad turns back to her, looking determined.
LAUNCHPAD Don't you worry about THAT, Gos. No way in a million years would Launchpad McQuack do that...
He jumps into the pilot's seat, closing the canopy.
LAUNCHPAD We'll fly over there and get him...if he can get away from that big hunk of beef jerky long enough!
The jet lifts up and banks over towards the horn, and a good thing, too, because it's at this point that the right engine also blows, accelerating the airship's descent. The Thunderquack doesn't so much lift off as the deck literally drops out from under it.
EXT. BULBA'S AIRSHIP - RIGHT HORN
Darkwing is doing everything he can to both hang for dear life and avoid Bulba. Suddenly, in its rapid descent, the airship sideswipes a skyscraper roof on the left side, knocking the horn on that side off! It falls down and "stabs" into the pavement. Thus buffets the entire ship; the Ramrod is knocked loose and falls into a rooftop swimming pool with a mighty splash. Luckily for the citizens of St. Canard, the airship is going to clear the remaining skyscrapers and land in the surrounding countryside.
The Thunderquack banks overhead, the canopy popping open and Gosalyn leaning over.
GOSALYN Jump!
Darkwing makes a leap for the jet, grabs the edge of the wing with his fingers, and is yanked back viciously by Bulba!
GOSALYN No!
Darkwing kicks Bulba in the face, knocking him back and making him let go of him, but, in doing so, propels himself AWAY from the horn and into open air.
DARKWING Not again! Launchpaaaaaaaaaaaad!
Acting quickly, Launchpad swoops down and Darkwing thuds onto the "beak" of the Thunderquack.
DARKWING Oof!
GOSALYN Whoa, nice save!
Meanwhile, Bulba isn't so lucky. He clings to the tip of the horn and his eyes widen as he sees the ground rushing towards him. The airship crashlands into the river feeding the bay, exploding on impact and flinging debris in all directions. We specifically see Bulba flung forwards, the horn detaching, the evil mastermind skipping across the water before the horn lands on him and both sink beneath the surface, followed by an explosion. The remainder of the flaming wreck follows suit, upending like the Titanic and sinking in as deep as the river will allow, which is, deep enough so that only the still-smoking engines are poking out.
EXT. FARMER'S FIELD - NIGHT
Launchpad and Gosalyn cheer, then they fly down and land in a farmer's field a few yards from the riverbank. As usual, the landing is rough, and Darkwing is flung off and rolls across the grass before coming to a stop. Both Gosalyn and Launchpad get out and run over to him to check on him.
LAUNCHPAD D.W.! Are you okay?!
Slowly, he sits up, wincing.
DARKWING Yes. Apart from a twisted arm, broken leg, possibly internal injuries...and a splitting headache...ugh...
Launchpad gingerly helps him stand and supports him.
DARKWING Next time, let me get INTO the Thunderquack BEFORE you land it, please...
LAUNCHPAD Eh, sorry, D.W.
Darkwing turns to Gosalyn.
DARKWING Are you okay?
GOSALYN Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I've been through worse at soccer practice.
He chuckles.
DARKWING That was amazing what you did back there.
GOSALYN Yeah, but I couldn't have done it if you hadn't kept that big goon off me!
They hear whirling helicopter rotors, and turn to see a helicopter, a different one bearing S.H.U.S.H. markings, coming flying towards them from the direction of St. Canard. It does a flyover, circling the column of smoke rising from the ruin of Bulba's airship, then flies over and lands. Inside we can see J. Gander and Gryzlikoff. A generic S.H.U.S.H. PILOT is at the controls. Getting out, J. Gander and Gryzlikoff come running over; J. Gander reaches Darkwing first and enthusiastically shakes his hand, making him wince.
J. GANDER Outstanding work there, Darkwing! Uh, you too, McQuack.
DARKWING Ow...pain...stop...shaking...ugh...
Realizing his error, J. Gander's eyes go wide and he releases Darkwing's hand immediately. It flops down limply.
J. GANDER Oh, I do apologize, I had no idea you were injured. Anyway, like I was saying, you've saved the entire city from certain destruction AND defeated Taurus Bulba!
DARKWING Well, actually, I only did the second part. It was Gosalyn here who knew how to operate the Ramrod and return the city. She should get all the credit.
He gingerly puts a hand on her shoulder and smiles. J. Gander looks at her.
J. GANDER Amazing, absolutely amazing. You're just like your grandfather, little lady. It seems genius runs in the genes of the Waddlemeyer family. Uh, speaking of which...
He turns back to Darkwing.
J. GANDER ...where is the Ramrod? Did it get destroyed?
DARKWING Yeah, I'm afraid so. Last time I saw it, it was taking a dip in somebody's pool. That's GOTTA totally blow the circuitry.
Gryzlikoff nodes solemnly.
GRYZLIKOFF I suppose it is all for best. Better to be destroyed, than to be in the hands of another madman like Bulba.
J. GANDER Yes, we were planning on dismantling the infernal thing anyway. Now then. What about-
DARKWING -Bulba? He went for a swim. With a big chunk of his airship for water wings. I don't think you guys need to worry about HIM any more. Now, uh, J. Gander, even though it was Gosalyn here who saved St. Canard, I mean, I DID defeat the bad guy. So, that's GOTTA be front page news, right?
Gryzlikoff scowls, but J. Gander laughs and nods.
J. GANDER Yes, yes, yes, I'll see to it. Besides, with so many witnesses, S.H.U.S.H. doesn't need to compell the newspapers to print anything. They'll do it themselves.
DARKWING Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I mean, I wanna be mentioned SOMEWHERE in the story...
J. Gander holds up placating hands.
J. GANDER I understand, don't worry about it.
He turns to go, stops, and turns back.
J. GANDER By the way, uh, it's not any duck who can tangle with Taurus Bulba and live. Perhaps I could...interest you in the odd job for us? Uh, after you recover, of course.
DARKWING Oh, uh, s-sure. But just as long as I'm only on retainer, part time and all that. Darkwing Duck is a superhero unto himself, and not some secret agency's stooge. No offense, there, Grizzie, babe.
Gryzklikoff fumes.
J. GANDER Well, it's been a long, rough couple of days for all of us so I think it's time for everyone to go home and get some rest. Come on, Gosalyn, we can fly you back to the orphanage in our helico-
GOSALYN (cutting him off)
Back to the orphanage?! B-but I wanna stay with Darkwing!
J. Gander shakes his head.
J. GANDER I'm afraid that just isn't possible. You need to be legally adopted, young lady. But I'm sure Darkwing can come and visit.
He looks at Darkwing, who frowns, seeing how upset Gosalyn is. He nods.
J. GANDER Very well. Let's go.
He puts a gentle arm around Gosalyn; she breaks away and hugs Darkwing tightly. He hugs back, taking his good arm off of Launchpad and thus losing his support. Gosalyn is all that's holding him up.
DARKWING Good-bye, kiddo. I-I promise I'll come to see you as soon as I'm out of the hospital.
GOSALYN Bye, Darkwing.
With tears in her eyes, she lets go, and Darkwing would drop like a stone except Launchpad catches him.
LAUNCHPAD Easy, there, D.W., I gotcha.
Gosalyn turns and allows J. Gander and Gryzlikoff to usher her over to the waiting S.H.U.S.H. helicopter. They climb in and take off, flying back towards the city, leaving Darkwing and Launchpad alone in the field. Darkwing sighs.
DARKWING Where's the nearest emergency room?
Launchpad begins helping him over to the Thunderquack.
LAUNCHPAD I can fly us back to St. Canard in no time. It'll, uh, be a bumpy landing, though, fair warning.
He chuckles and smiles sheepishly, then helps Darkwing get in. That accomplished, he walks around and hops into the pilot's seat.
LAUNCHPAD And don't you worry about Gosalyn, D.W. She's a tough kid, she can take care of herself. I'm sure she'll be fine.
Darkwing hmmms, an idea obviously forming in his head.
DARKWING Launchpad, when we're done at the doctor's, fly me back to the tower. I, uh, I wanna discuss some things with you. Like, plans for the future and all that...
EXT. ST. CANARD ORPHANAGE - DAY
Est. shot of the orphanage the following day. Sounds of children laughing, several seen playing on the playground, etc.
INT ST. CANARD ORPHANAGE - GOSALYN'S ROOM
Gosalyn is sitting on her bed, staring out the window. Her room faces the street and she can see the Audubon Bay Bridge off in the distance. Mrs. Cavanaugh is at the door.
MRS. CAVANAUGH We're all glad to have you back safe and sound, Gosalyn.
She means it, her earlier dismal assessment of Gosalyn notwithstanding. Gosalyn doesn't reply. Mrs. Cavanaugh walks over and sits down on the bed next to her.
MRS. CAVANAUGH Oh, now what's wrong, dear?
GOSALYN (sniffling)
I miss my Grandpa.
MRS. CAVANAUGH Oh, honey, come here. That's all in the past.
She hugs Gosalyn.
MRS. CAVANAUGH Now, I know you've been through a lot, but your life isn't over. It's just beginning. Things are going to change. You'll see.
Gosalyn dries her tears as Mrs. Cavanaugh gets up and walks to the door.
MRS. CAVANAUGH After all, what prospective parent wouldn't want to adopt the little girl who saved St. Canard?
She smiles. Gosalyn turns and looks at her, and manages a small smile of her own. Outside, unnoticed by either, a blue station wagon comes to a screeching halt.
INT. ST. CANARD ORPHANAGE - MRS. CAVANAUGH'S OFFICE
Mrs. Cavanaugh enters her office, sighing. Eugene is sitting down in one of the chairs placed before the desk, reading the paper.
EUGENE Jeez, that poor kid's been through a lot.
MRS. CAVANAUGH I know.
EUGENE If somebody doesn't adopt her, and fast-
Mrs. Cavanaugh sits down behind her desk.
MRS. CANVANAUGH (cutting him off)
I know. She needs all the warmth and affection she can get right now.
There is a knock at the door. They both turn and see DRAKE MALLARD, a duck in his mid-to-late thirties, in good health apart from the fact one arm is in a sling, and one leg in a cast. He hobbles in on a crutch.
DRAKE Uh, hi, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
MRS. CAVANAUGH Oh, not at all, come right on in. I'm Mrs. Cavanaugh, the director here, and this is my assistant, Eugene. And you are...?
DRAKE Uh, Drake Mallard, ma'am. Listen, uh, this may sound kinda weird, but, uh, well, I heard all about that poor kid that got kidnapped and then saved the city, and, well...
He trails off.
CUT TO:
INT. ST. CANARD ORPHANAGE - GOSALYN'S ROOM
Gosalyn is still sitting on her bed when Mrs. Cavanaugh enters, Drake hobbling after her.
MRS. CAVANAUGH Gosalyn, dear, are you feeling all right enough to talk to someone? There's a nice young man who's here about the possibility of adopting you.
Gosalyn turns and eyes Drake as Mrs. Cavanaugh leaves the room to give them some privacy. She narrows her eyes. He looks familiar to her, somehow, although she's obviously having some difficulty placing him. Part of it may be because his bandages and injuries are incapable of ignoring, and that's what she's concentrating on currently.
GOSALYN Ouch, what happened to YOU, Mister?
Drake laughs uneasily.
DRAKE Well, uh, it's a long story, y'see, but, basically, I had a little...kitchen accident.
That voice. Gosalyn's eyes widen.
DRAKE I, uh, I, uh, oh the heck with it, it's ME, Gos!
Gosalyn tackles him to the floor in a huge hug. Hearing the noise, Mrs. Cavanaugh runs back in, but smiles when she sees Gosalyn hugging Drake, who sits up with her in his lap.
DRAKE Ooof, hey, waych the ribs, kiddo...
GOSALYN I thought you were-
DRAKE Ha! Nobody can hurt Darkwi-Du-Du-Du-Drake Mallard!
Mrs. Cavanaugh eyes him.
MRS. CAVANAUGH You two know each other?
DRAKE Oh, uh, yeah, I was an old friend of her grandfather-
MRS. CAVANAUGH (sharply)
Let's see some I.D.
EXT. ST. CANARD ORPHANAGE - DAY
Drake and Gosalyn come out the front entrance.
DRAKE Jeez, what a paranoid weirdo. I thought she and that Eugene guy were gonna do a full body-cavity search on me!
Gosalyn giggles.
GOSALYN Mrs. Cavanaugh was just making sure, after what happened last time.
DRAKE Yeah, I, uh, I guess you're right. So, kiddo, now that I officially have an adopted daughter to take care of, Darkwing Tower isn't going to be a very good place to raise a family. Especially with all those buttons for you to push. So, I thought you and I could go and so some house hunting later this afternoon.
GOSALYN But how do you drive like that?
A horn honk makes her turn and look at the blue station wagon seen earlier, Launchpad behind the wheel.
LAUNCHPAD Yo, D.W., I mean Drake! C'mon, let's get a move on!
They hurry over. Well, Gosalyn hurries. Drake hobbles. She gets in back, he rides shotgun.
DRAKE Now, Launchpad, this is a brand-new car. If you wreck this...
LAUNCHPAD Don't worry, Drake, I drove the Ratcatcher just fine, didn't I?
DRAKE That's true, but you drove too-
Launchpad steps on the gas and they go speeding off down the street.
DRAKE -faaaaaaaaaaaaassssst!
GOSALYN Faster, Launchpad, faster!
The car disappears around a corner down the street was we PAN UP through the buildings and through the clouds.
DARKWING (voiceover)
And so, I, Darkwing Duck, having looked death in the face, grabbed the bull by the horns, and taken on the biggest, baddest villain this city had to throw at me, am now embarking upon an even more daunting task. Raising a daughter.
THE END
ROLL END TITLES
INT. A DARK ROOM SOMEWHERE
We see none other than Megavolt, now much older, sitting and reading the newspaper article about Darkwing defeating Taurus Bulba.
MEGAVOLT Heh, heh, heh, heh...