Chapter 19

With all my heart

Shintarou decided to take a short break from packing. He'd been doing it for hours and he wasn't even halfway done. He had way too much stuff, and most of it would probably not fit in his new place anyway. He walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was now mostly empty, with just enough food to last for a couple more days before he moved out. He took out a bottle of water and made a mental note to go to the vending machine later to get hot shiruko.

Before he could open the bottle, though, the doorbell rang. He wasn't expecting any visitors today, who could it be at this late hour?

After hearing the news from Kanako, he'd pretty much thrown his phone and dashed out of his new apartment; unpacking could wait. After running four blocks he realized this means of transportation was not efficient at all and dashed to a bigger street to hail a taxi. He fidgeted the whole way, to the point where the driver asked him if he was feeling unwell and whether he needed to go to a hospital. Takao would have laughed about the fact that he was actually rushing to see a doctor, but he was too nervous for that.

As soon as he found himself in front of Shin-chan's door, he hesitated. His fingers trembled. What if he was jumping to conclusions? Just because the engagement was over didn't mean that everything would just go back to how it should have been seven years ago. Surely, if Shin-chan wanted to mend their relationship, he would have called after canceling the marriage, right? If he really wanted to, he could've asked Kuroko for his new phone number or address. In fact, why was he the one rushing to meet Shin-chan? It should be the other way around. After what he'd done, Shin-chan should come and prostrate himself at his feet and beg for forgiveness. His chest tightened painfully when he remembered those excruciating one-hundred and six seconds waiting, waiting, hoping against all hopes, and being disappointed once again. His eyes were getting watery. And who could say that this would work out? Even if they got back together, wasn't their relationship too damaged? Could they really stay by each other's side after everything that happened? Wasn't he just setting himself up for more pain and heartbreak?

He turned on his heels. He should head back home. If Shin-chan wanted to contact him, he would. If things were meant to be, they'd happen. He chewed on his lip.

Before he could take a single step away from that door, he heard noises, movement inside, a soft, exhausted sigh that would probably be inaudible for anyone whose ears were not so tuned to that voice. He turned to the door once again. Shin-chan was in there. Just a few steps away. Just this door standing between them. His heart ached with longing. His trembling fingers found the doorbell and pressed it, short, quick, almost regretting it halfway. He was such a fool.

Then he wanted to run away, but he couldn't even process that thought before the door was opened and a pair of emerald eyes found his, wide with shock.

"T-t-takao…"

"S-sh-shin-chan…"

He'd pressed the doorbell on impulse, but now that he was facing Midorima, he found he didn't know what to say. He was breathing heavily after the rush, the nerves, the fear, his forehead was glistening with sweat, and his heart was beating at a thousand miles per minute.

"Uhm… would you… like to come in?"

He nodded, still a little befuddled, and mumbled a quick "Sorry for the intrusion" as he took off his shoes and walked inside.

"You look agitated… is everything alright? I-I'll bring you something to drink, you should sit down."

Once Shin-chan disappeared into the kitchen, he finally had a chance to catch his breath and calm down. He looked over at the couch –the place where they had shared their first kiss in seven years- and a lump formed in his throat. It was just then that he noticed the apartment looked strangely untidy and vacant. The shelves were now empty, and a lot of the furniture was covered in plastic. There were cardboard boxes all over the place; most of them were sealed and labeled: "books", "equipment", "kitchen", "lucky items" –Takao chuckled at the last one-, while a few others were open and half-full. This was too familiar to not know what was going on here.

"Are you moving out?" he asked once Midorima was back from the kitchen carrying a bottle of watter.

"I'm afraid I can't afford this apartment any longer." He replied vaguely.

"Huh? Why? Did something happen?" He knew the wedding was cancelled, but even so, the Midorima family was loaded, there was no way this relatively modest apartment was beyond their economic possibilities.

Midorima sighed. He didn't really want to discuss that now, but he wouldn't lie to Takao. "My father did not take it very kindly to hear that his son is homosexual." A mildly amused smile crossed his face for a moment, remembering his father's threats about locking out his bank account and cutting him off economically, which he hadn't failed to fulfill.

Takao's heart started beating extremely fast once again. Shin-chan really called off the wedding and confronted his father about it. He felt a little overridden with joy, but for some reason he couldn't find the words to express it.

"Oh. Oh. I-I'm sorry about that. I had… heard that the wedding was cancelled, but I didn't think…" It hadn't really occurred to him that Shin-chan's family would be the kind to disown their son if he came out as gay. He knew they were strict and imagined they would flip out if they knew, but he never thought they would go this far. He now regretted pushing Midorima so much about this whole thing. He'd been angry at Midorima for not thinking about others' situation, but he had done the same thing and hadn't really thought it through when he'd asked Midorima to confront his family. Had he been in the wrong all along?

Surprisingly, a gentle smile drew itself on Midorima's lips. "It's a small price to pay, really. It was probably a selfish thing for me to do, but I realized I wanted to be happy. Someone told me I had to fight to achieve it and prove that I cared. That is all."

They stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime, holding their breath, the air pregnant with pause. They were both shaking nervously, cheeks lightly flushed, eyes sparkling with hope.

Kazunari's eyes started to well up with tears, and he looked away to hide them. He was getting overflown with emotions that he couldn't control anymore. "S-s-so now you expect that I-I'm going to feel g-g-guilty about this a-and fall into your arms c-c-crying and f-f-forget about everything like in some chick flick, r-r-right?" he stuttered, trying to sound dismissive but achieving the exact opposite.

Shintarou walked up to him and stood by his side. "Hardly. I definitely do not want you to feel guilty about this. It was my decision and I do not regret it one bit. Like I said, it's a small price to pay."

Kazunari looked down, unable to meet Shintarou's eyes. His heart hurt. "Then why… why didn't you call me? Kanako-san said you canceled the wedding over a week ago."

Midorima sighed. "The truth is… I didn't want you to see this. I… I wanted to get my life in order again… before trying to get you back. Like I said, I did not want you to feel responsible, or that you had some sort of obligation towards me because of this. I have made too many mistakes. No matter how much I want to mend things between us, I would never resort to emotional blackmail." Takao didn't know when he'd started gripping the edge of the seat, but now his knuckles were white and his fingers numb. "That being said… what you mentioned before… about… falling into my arms… I would not mind that at all."

Kazunari looked up to find Shintarou standing mere centimeters away, blushing, his emerald eyes fixed intensely on him. He sniffled, feeling way too upset and way too happy and he couldn't really deal with himself right now because this was too much. "S-s-shin-chan you manipulative asshole!" he sobbed crashing into the Shintarou's chest, so pissed off that everything seemed to be going Shin-chan's way, and yet too happy to try to resist the flow. "After all the trouble I went through… trying to make sense of my life again… trying to get over you and stop loving you… I hate you. I fucking hate you!" He whimpered, his nose buried deep into Shin-chan's chest.

Midorima's arms circled around his lithe frame, squeezing him tightly and he nuzzled the top of his raven hair, getting high on the familiar scent of the man he loved. "This may sound terrible, but I am glad those efforts were fruitless." He mumbled softly, his lips moving to whisper into Takao's ear. "Because if there is one thing I wish for is that you never stop loving me."

Takao gritted his teeth and punched him lightly, his fists felt so, so tiny compared to Shin-chan's body and it was frustrating.

"I'm sorry Takao. So sorry about everything. I… I never intended to hurt you, or lie to you." Midorima cupped his beloved's face in his large hands, gently tilting it upwards so their eyes could meet. "I was just too foolish… too blind to see what was truly important. If you could ever forgive me, I swear I'll devote the rest of my life to make you happy, but I would understand if you decided not to." He wiped Takao's tears away with his thumbs and leaned down to rest his forehead against Kazunari's.

Takao was overwhelmed. He wanted to still be angry, to hate Shin-chan, but he really couldn't. Was he dreaming? Was he truly going to get his happy ending? After everything he'd gone through, was it really possible to feel such bliss?

"Stupid, stupid Shin-chan, you know I can't stay angry at you when you're being all corny like that. You're supposed to be the tsundere character, not the one that says all the romantic stuff; that's not how this relationship works." He pouted, feeling his cheeks heating up, and he looked away, too embarrassed to keep eye contact.

"I've discovered it is quite important that the people you love know how much they mean to you." Takao tried to swat Midorima's hands away, but instead got one of his own caught in between Shin-chan's long fingers. Shintarou brought his love's hand closer to his mouth and pressed his lips on the palm, staring hotly into Takao's silver eyes.

The intensity of the stare made Takao look up to meet Shin-chan's emerald eyes. His chest filled with warmth when he felt the love and adoration that was pouring out of those eyes, as if they were looking at the most precious treasure in the entire world. A smile started tugging at the corners of his lips, and he forgot he was trying to play just a little bit hard to get just to teach that big oaf a lesson, because he couldn't be bothered anymore. Not when Shin-chan loved him so much.

"Well, today must be your lucky day, mister. I just happen to have recently moved to a new place and it's too big for me. I might actually have enough room to fit in a homeless homo, but be warned there's only one bedroom."

Midorima chuckled lightly, and he looked so darnedly beautiful when he smiled it melted Takao's heart. "Oha-Asa did say my life would take a drastic twist for the better today." He replied simply.

Takao felt like replying something, but he really couldn't think of anything anymore. Shin-chan was standing so close he was being enveloped in his body warmth, and he could feel his hot, uneven breathing on his face. His large hands were trembling ever the slightest. He could always read Shin-chan like an open book, and right now he was nervous and exhilarated beyond words.

A certain force of gravity seemed to kick into action when they were in such close proximity. It was as if their bodies would magnetically attract each other and never want to separate. Sometimes, when they were so close, Takao pondered if their bodies wouldn't end up melting into each other and becoming a single entity, and sometimes, that thought sounded wildly attractive, like right now. They seemed to be frozen on the spot, unsure of whether to give the next step or just stand there and stare into each other's eyes for the rest of eternity. Neither sounded like a terrible option, but in the end, gravity came out victorious.

"Kiss me."

He wasn't sure if he'd thought that or said it out loud, but it didn't matter once their lips met in their familiar dance of love and passion that made the rest of the world disappear. Whether the kiss lasted one minute or one year, he wasn't sure either, but that too, was completely unimportant because this moment was everything and everything was finally right with the world after a long time.

"Kazunari…" Shin-chan breathed in between kisses, staring into his eyes intensely. "Kazunari, I love you. With all my heart."

His heart swelled with bliss.

"I love you too, Shin-chan. I love you so much."

"Whew, that's the last one." Takao huffed in relief, and this time he wasn't talking to his empty apartment. "I can't believe I've had to move twice in a week, you truly are a tyrant, Shin-chan."

"Technically speaking, you only moved once and then helped me move in." Midorima corrected, dropping the box he was carrying and slumping against the kitchen counter, completely exhausted.

Takao felt like replying, but he was too tired for that. Shin-chan had way too much stuff. On one hand it was good because he didn't have any furniture, so they'd been able to fit all of Shin-chan's easily. On the other hand, there was just no room for five boxes of lucky items. He had no doubts they would end up moving away to a bigger place sooner than later; with both of their salaries they'd surely be able to afford something a little bit better. But for the time being, he was content with looking at this place and knowing it was their home.

"It took seven years, but we finally made it, huh?" he mused.

"What did you say?" Shin-chan asked, handing him a much needed bottle of water.

"Huh? Oh nothing… I was just thinking… all those years ago we promised to live together and now it's finally happened. I guess I'm just really happy." He looked at his lover as his lips curved in a toothy grin. "This is where our life together is about to begin. It makes me really thrilled to think about it."

Midorima blushed at the confession and he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose nervously. He didn't answer, but instead looked up at the ceiling; as if he were pondering something and he dug one hand into his pocket.

"Is something the matter?" Takao asked, stepping closer and landing a playful peck on his cheek that pulled Shin-chan out of his contemplations.

Shin-chan cleared his throat and pulled at the collar of his shirt, as if he were struggling to breath. "I was wondering about the timing…" he answered vaguely, toying with whatever it was he had in his pocket.

Timing for what? Takao had wanted to ask, but before he could open his mouth, Shin-chan pulled away from the counter, grabbed his hand by the fingertips and went down on one knee. Takao's heart skipped a beat, kind of knowing what was coming, but not really sure because, dear lord, did Shin-chan really go down on one knee just now? His mind that had been in such a complacent mood just a minute ago was now buzzing.

"You know I'm not… dexterous in adapting to social cues, so this may not be the right time or place…" he swallowed heavily, but never looked away from Takao's silver eyes, his pair of emeralds glowing with determination. "But since you are talking about our new life together… I thought maybe it was a good opportunity." He pressed his lips to Takao's knuckles, still not breaking eye contact.

A shiver went down the Hawk Eye's spine. "A good opportunity for what?" he wanted to ask again, feeling like a total idiot, but a lump had formed in the back of his throat and he really couldn't. His face felt unbearably hot, and the spot on his hand where Midorima's lips had rested was tingling. Midorima pulled out a black velvet box from his jacket pocket and opened it, presenting him with a simple white gold ring, that looked like it was tied in a knot on top.

"Takao Kazunari, would you grant me the honor of joining your fate with mine?"

Takao's brain short-circuited and the entire world came to a halt. His heart was racing. Shin-chan was proposing to him. SHIN-CHAN WAS PROPOSING TO HIM. He must be dreaming. This was completely insane. How long had he been there, frozen up while Shin-chan waited for his answer? Shin-chan was proposing to him.

"W-what are you talking about, Shin-chan? We're two guys, we can't get married here and we don't have the money to go to America." No, no that was wrong, that's not what he wanted to say, but he didn't know how he should say what he actually wanted to say. Coherent thoughts seemed impossible to formulate.

Midorima's smile and the determination in his eyes never faltered. "There's a temple in Kyoto that conducts symbolic same-sex weddings. That much I think we can afford."

His face was burning now. "Y-y-you seem awfully eager to get married, for someone who just got off a previous engagement." Takao tried to laugh it off, but he was too flustered to even feign a chuckle at the end, and instead fell completely entranced by those emerald eyes.

"I already waited seven years. I finally have the person I love in my grasp. I want to spend the rest of my life with that person, I'm not going to wait any longer." He once again pressed his lips against the back of Takao's hand, but this time, the kiss was completely focused on his ring finger. The message couldn't be any less subtle. "So? What will you answer?"

Takao was in the midst of an emotional overload that was mostly induced by a rush of euphoria. "Y-you already know the answer, s-stupid Shin-chan." He hated acting like a tsundere, Shin-chan was supposed to be the tsundere in this relationship, why was he suddenly acting so bold and romantic? Takao didn't know how to deal with it. When Midorima didn't move, his lips still ghosting over his ring finger and his eyes still gazing at him with unraveling intensity, love and passion, Takao huffed in annoyance. "Go on then, make me your bride, Midorima Shintarou."

Shin-chan was taken aback by this, and Takao took the slightest pleasure in having the upper hand of the conversation, if only for a moment. He watched intently as Shin-chan slid the ring down his finger. A perfect fit. Takao brought his hand closer to his own face and stared in awe at the new piece of jewelry. Somehow, it looked like it belonged there, as if his finger had been specifically designed to hold that ring, and that its existence had been completely meaningless up to this moment.

He looked up again, still in a daze, to find that Midorima was now back on his feet and smiling at him. He had never seen Shin-chan with such a smile. He was blushing too, he now realized. He must've felt awfully nervous making that proposal. Damn, Shin-chan was too cute. And now with that smile. It was small and probably unnoticeable to the untrained eye, but it made his emerald eyes –glazed with joyful tears- sparkle and gave him a sort of angelic glow. He looked beautiful beyond words. His long, elegant fingers found Takao's hand and intertwined with it, bringing it up so he could kiss the ring on his finger.

Takao couldn't resist any longer. He cupped his beloved's face with one hand and stood on his tiptoes to salvage their height difference. Shin-chan caught the gist and leaned down to meet his lips in the sweetest kiss they'd ever shared. His hand moved to the back of his head so it could tangle in between soft emerald hair and pull his love closer to deepen the kiss.

"I love you Shin-chan. I love you so much." He whispered hotly against his mouth. Shin-chan's right hand was resting leisurely on his hip, while the left one was still entwined with Takao's. When Shin-chan's hand moved to the end of his spine to pull him even closer (were they finally going to fuse into a single being, he wondered?) he moaned into the kiss and pulled back for just a second to catch his breath again.

In that brief moment, they looked at each other, their eyes meeting in a burning, intense gaze, and they chuckled, sharing a childish smile as if they had just done some mischief, before feeling the force of gravity pulling them together once again.

This was right. This was perfect. This place, in this moment was everything. The place where they belonged; home. And the moment that was always meant to be.

To be continued

Technically speaking this was supposed to be the ending, but after putting these boys through so much shit I wanted to write more of their happy life together, so that's what the remaining two chapters/epilogues are about. I will talk some more about the location of the wedding in future notes ;)

So I hope you liked it. And I hope this wild ride has been worth it :) I just hope y'all can be patient for a little longer to get to see the wedding and all the disgustingly fluffy stuff I have prepared for the epilogues. I love these two so much and I love writing them being super romantic and in love. I hope to hear your opinions on this!