Chapter 2
They stumbled into the Great Hall along with the first years. The majority of the students' eyes were on the group of nations. Maybe it was the obvious fact that they were all from different countries, or maybe it was the fact that they all chatted with each other as if they'd known each other their whole lives. Or, maybe it was the a certain Trio, who were laughing loudly and fooling around. Prussia tripped over the hem of his robe and fell into Hungary, pushing both of them to the ground. Gilbird, who'd taken shelter in Prussia's hair, took flight.
Due to the laws of physics and gravity, Prussia landed on top of Hungary. She was bright red and looked ready to explode, but Prussia was laughing his ass off. "Kesesesese~ The awesome me has won again!"
"Get off me, Gilbert!" She screeched.
"No! You're comfortable." Prussia sat up and arranged himself on Hungary's stomach. "Elizaveta," he whispered huskily, leaning forward and brushing his lips just barely over hers. Her eyes widened and she promptly grabbed her frying pan from inside her robes. Prussia shrieked and dove behind Germany, who was hit instead.
"Ow!" He cried. Prussia, France, and Spain were all snickering shamelessly.
"Sorry about these three." Hungary said pleasantly to the students. "They, uhhh..." She looked around helplessly at Austria.
"They're idiots." He finished smoothly.
"Shut up, Specs! You're an assh-MMPH!" Spain slapped his hand over the German's mouth. Alas, it was too late.
"Don't swear in front of the children!" Hungary scholded, smacking Prussia over the head with the lethal frying pan. He yelped in pain and staggered back clutching his skull, and she then proceeded to assault France and Spain without provocation, deeming them accomplices since they usually were.
"I didn't do anything wrong! Why'd you hit me?" France asked indignantly after taking a moment to recover from the stunning blow. It was not the first time he had been struck by her skillet after all, but at least the first time was deserved.
"And me..." Spain said tearfully, holding his abused head. "I tried to stop him."
The headmaster smiled and cleared his throat, putting a swift end to the nation's antics. He stood up and raised his hands for quiet- a needless gesture, for as soon as he rose you could hear a pin drop. "Now that we have had our entertainment for the night, let us begin the Sorting!" He announced.
The Sorting Hat was a dirty and patched old wizard's hat. It sang a long, boring song and sorted all the new first years. The four Houses were Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff. After the first years were Sorted, Dumbledore, the headmaster, introduced the nations as representatives from different countries who were a part of a World Exchange program.
Bulgaria was called upon first. "Balakov, Aleksander!" Bulgaria slowly got up and sat on the stool.
"SLYTHERIN!" As he walked to the table, he said in his calm voice, "You better be in Slytherin, Vladimir." Romania smirked in response.
Then Prussia was called. "Beilschmidt, Gilbert!" He strutted up to the stool and sat.
"Oh great, a Malfoy duplicate." A ginger-haired boy muttered loudly at the Gryffindor table.
'Don't worry. I know your secret, but I won't tell. Now, where was I? Hmm, you'd do well in Gryffindor, and you are extremely loyal to those you are close to, so Hufflepuff wouldn't be too bad... Ravenclaw, Merlin no!'
"HEY!" Prussia roared indignantly, glaring up at the Hat.
'Oh, no, don't be angry, I merely meant that you get frustrated far too easily. Your ambition levels are high as well, as are your cunning and skill. In that case, better be...' "SLYTHERIN!"
"Damn. He's a snake." Fred scowled. George sighed, disappointed. He'd had such promise. Hermione glared reproachfully at them as the Slytherins enthusiastically greeted their new arrival. So far they'd gotten all of the transfers.
"Beilschmidt, Ludwig!"
The Hat was plopped onto the German's head. After a long minute, it screamed "RAVENCLAW!" Students started cheering at the blue and bronze table. A pretty Asian girl with long black hair and a sad face scooted over so he could sit next to her.
"Bondevik, Lukas!" Norway stalked forward; students openly pointed at the nation's little ahoge floating independently above his ear.
"RAVENCLAW!"
"Bonnefoy, Francis!" France winked flirtatiously over his shoulder at the whole of the Great Hall and sat gingerly on the old stool, almost flinching when the grungy Hat touched his head. 'Please put me in Slytherin so I can annoy England and be in the same house as Prussia!'
"SLYTHERIN!"
"There goes another funny one." Fred said in annoyance. George shook his head sadly, mourning the loss.
"Braginsky, Ivan!" The tall Russian, with his long creamy scarf wrapped around his neck, sat heavily on the stool. Was it just Prussia, or was there a creepy purple aura hovering around him?
"SLYTHERIN!" Belarus pushed aside a pug-faced girl and stared demandingly at Russia.
"Big brother~ sit here with me..." She purred. He gulped.
"Carriedo, Antonio Fernández!" Spain grinned excitedly and raced up to the stool with a wink at France and Prussia. After a moment, the hat exclaimed "SLYTHERIN!" The snake table whooped as the cheerful boy sat down and the Weasley twins bowed their heads in grievance.
"Edelstein, Roderich!" Austria stood and sat delicately on the stool. Prussia crossed his fingers with a sly grin on his face.
"SLYTHERIN!" The Sorting Hat announced. Prussia smirked evilly, sending shivers of dread down Austria's spine. Fred, noticing this, pointed it out to George, who grew hopeful again at the slim chance of still recruiting the newly-made Slytherin.
"Galante, Raivis!"
"HUFFLEPUFF!" Latvia scrambled off the stool and sat hurriedly at the Hufflepuff table.
"Héderváry, Elizaveta!" Prussia wolf-whistled and Hungary scowled at him. After a minute, the hat placed her in Ravenclaw and she sat happily in between Germany and Norway.
"Honda, Kiku!"
"RAVENCLAW!" Japan sat next to Germany and watched quietly as America was called.
"Jones, Alfred!"
"The hero!" America grinned, shoving the hat onto his head.
"GRYFFINDOR!" It screamed immediately.
"Yeah!" America cheered.
"Kirkland, Allistor!" Scotland impatiently shook his vibrant red hair out of his pale green eyes and strode up to the stool.
"SLYTHERIN!"
"Kirkland, Arthur!" England sat primly and waited for a couple seconds. His burning emerald eyes were fixed upward, locked onto the Hat. It was almost as they they were engaged in a silent conversation.
"SLYTHERIN!" England smiled slightly, ignoring the crestfallen look on America's face, and sat next to Austria at the Slytherin table, glaring at his elder brother.
"Kirkland, Peter!"
"Jeez, how many are there?" Ron muttered at the Gryffindor table.
"HUFFLEPUFF!" Sealand joined his friend Latvia at the yellow and black table.
"Kohler, Mathias!" Denmark was called.
"GRYFFINDOR!" He jumped up again and sat next to America.
"Laurinaitis, Toris!"
"RAVENCLAW!"
"Łukasiewicz, Feliks!" Poland skipped forward. Lithuania facepalmed.
"Feliks, why are you wearing the girls uniform?" He cried. Poland simply smiled.
"HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Popescu, Vladimir!" Romania, his shaggy strawberry blonde hair hanging like silky curtains around his pale face, blinked red eyes and walked forward. One of his fangs was curled over his lip.
"He's a vampire!" Someone hissed. A couple of the younger years squeaked in fear, but the older students grinned and leaned forward for a closer look.
"SLYTHERIN!"
"Yes!" Bulgaria cheered. He jumped up and man-hugged his best friend and they sat next to each other.
"Soo, Im-Yong!" South Korea, who for once wasn't being perverted or loud, smiled eagerly.
"GRYFFINDOR!" America cheered loudly and the two friends sat together.
"Steilsson, Emil!"
"RAVENCLAW!" Iceland sat next to Norway.
"Vargas, Feliciano!" Italy, humming the Sorting Hat's song loudly, skipped forward just like Poland.
"HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Vargas, Lovino!" Romano, who was nibbling on a tomato he had procured from Spain, shuffled forward.
"SLYTHERIN!"
"Great, I'm with the tomato bastard." Romano grumbled, but sat next to the Spaniard anyways.
"Von Bock, Eduard!"
"RAVENCLAW!" Estonia joined his fellow Baltic State at the Ravenclaw table.
"Wang, Yao!"
"RAVENCLAW!"
"Williams, Matthew!"
"HUFFLEPUFF!" America cheered supportively as his brother joined the large group of nations at the badger-embossed table.
"Zwingli, Lilli!" Switzerland tensed considerably when Liechtenstein walked alone to the stool, his fists clenching as he leaned forward slightly.
"RAVENCLAW!" And then he relaxed as she sat next to Hungary.
"Zwingli, Vash!" Switzerland stalked forward, lost in his dignity.
"Good luck, big brother!" Liechtenstein called after him.
"SLYTHERIN!" Austria shuddered internally as he saw that the only empty seat was next to him. Switzerland would have no choice but to sit there. At the Ravenclaw table, Hungary saw this and grinned. It didn't take another Ravenclaw to guess that yaoi was running through her head. He wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"If you'd kindly not look at me, I'd be grateful." Switzerland growled. Austria looked away bitterly. As the headmaster clapped his hands and food appeared on the golden platters, France and America screamed in terror.
"I-is this British food?" France squeaked. England scowled
"Yes." said a fourth year Ravenclaw.
"Nobody touch a thing unless you want to die!" America yelled, standing up on the bench and holding out his hands. "British food is deadly!"
"What makes you say that?" asked a rather offended McGonagall.
"We've tasted Arthur's cooking."
"I ate dinner with him and fell into a coma!" Prussia said.
"We all thought he was dead and wrote farewell letters on his blog." Hungary nodded solemnly.
"I assure you, this food is perfectly safe and edible." Dumbledore smiled. A couple braver countries warily took a bite, and the others looked on anxiously. At the Gryffindor table, Hermione rolled her eyes and resumed eating. America bit his lip as England gathered a forkful, turned around in his seat to stare balefully at him and the others, chewed, and swallowed. America held his breath and watched. England continued breathing, as did the others who'd eaten.
"He's built up an immunity." America muttered, still not conviced.
"Not bad for British food!" France said in surprise. "Though of course, my French cuisine is much superior." Dumbledore smiled slightly.
"I will ask the house elves to make food from your respective countries from now on, if you would prefer."
"HAMBURGERS!" America roared. England sniffed disdainfully and turned away back to his plate. At once, Draco Malfoy absorbed him into a conversation.
After the feast, the countries were led to their common rooms by the prefects of their houses. England himself was feeling rather sleepy, so tired, in fact, that he barely protested when France groped him; he simply pushed him roughly down the stairs. Ahead of him, Prussia was talking to Draco Malfoy, the smarmy blonde kid, about awesomeness and its perks.
"You wouldn't understand, puny boy. Awesomeness is not something you achieve, it is something you are born with! Frankly, you are lacking." Gilbird, who'd been sitting on the albino's shoulder all during the feast, chirped in agreement. The conversation ended there with a highly affronted look given to Prussia by Draco. Prussia shrugged, knowing nothing could be done for him.
"Mon cher, surely you are not a Briton? Your looks and poise give you a French quality," France purred to a pretty third year. She gave him a look of great offense and hurried away.
The common room turned out to be a long and low room lit by ghostly green lamps and tied together with dark mahogany furniture. Sleek green armchairs were grouped around a sinisterly flickering fireplace and a matching fireplace across the room had a love-seat positioned in front of it. In a corner, three sofas were arranged in a square shape with one side open. The walls were painted black and the floor was laminated with dark wood. A single but large window revealed that they were under the lake; a school of fish darted by, a much larger fish in pursuit. The giant squid was a black mass in the distance.
"Seems comfortable enough, non?" France asked uncertainly.
"I love it! It's great, da?" Russia smiled. Belarus creeped up behind her brother and pounced on him, wrapping her arms around his neck and causing him to jump a foot into the air.
"I found you~ Now brother, marry me marry me marry me!" She chanted. Others stared wide-eyed at her and moved away.
"Help me!" Russia wailed. When nobody did, he sank to his knees on the floor. "Go away!"
"Marry me, big brother, and I'll do as you say~" Belarus crooned.
Across the room, Romano was slouched miserably on one of the sofas. He watched Romania and Bulgaria as they chatted happily, but his thoughts were on something else- or rather, someone else. Across the room, Spain was ignoring him completely. The Spaniard laughed at something Prussia said and cheered on Francis as he flirted with girl after girl.
He wasn't left pining for long. As he watched, Spain dismissed himself from the company of his two best friends and approached him. "My little tomato, did you miss me?" He asked. Romano buried his face into a pillow to hide his smile. Spain had come to see him.
And as Spain sat on the couch next to him and launched into a wild story involving animated hand gestures, Romano decided that maybe this place wasn't so bad after all.
Kind of a sappy ending there, but it's Spamano :3
EDIT: 10/3/15- This chapter required much more work than the last. This one, I would actually classify as rewritten. Ugh, dear god was it awful.