Thanks for the reviews. I was pretty excited about coming up with the shaving idea (cliche, I know, but fluffy Jate and the removal of the beard!), so I'm glad you all liked it. ;)

Chapter 4. Risks

If Kate thought leaving Jack was difficult the first time, it was that much harder the following morning, now that he was almost back to his old self, not the least of all because he didn't seem to want to let her go.

"Just five more minutes," he complained, pulling her back down under the covers each time she tried to leave, and she smiled, and settled into his embrace, until she woke with a start at five-thirty, cursing herself for cutting it so close. She had less than thirty minutes, and the drive would take her at least twenty, even without running into traffic.

"Same time tonight?" he checked, his voice hopeful, when she succeeded in freeing herself from him, and, as she threw her clothes on and kissed him goodbye, it struck her how pathetic they'd become, arranging their lives around the handful of hours they could shut themselves inside a cheap motel room, and pretend that everything was right with the world.

As she climbed the stairs to her room, her ears were greeted with the classical strains of her father's alarm; her door had just clicked shut when his opened, and she heard his footsteps on the landing.

Breathing a sigh of relief at avoiding another argument, she peeked into the crib to make sure that J.J. was still asleep, disentangling his little legs from his blanket and tucking it around him, before falling back into bed fully-clothed.

After letting her father take him through his morning routine again, she felt guilty for neglecting him, doing exactly what she'd sworn she'd never to do by putting her relationship with his father ahead of him, so after school, she dressed him in pair of overalls and a red t-shirt, and took him to the park, letting him crawl around in the sandbox until it got dark.

He was too young to understand how shameful her behaviour was; this guilt paled in comparison to the guilt she felt at lying to her father, sneaking around behind his back when he'd made his feelings clear.

He was sitting at the table, reading the paper, when she found him in the kitchen, but he looked up, holding his arms out for his grandson.

"Look at you. You've got sand all over you. I bet you had fun, didn't you, little guy?" he said with a laugh when she handed him over, and J.J. gave him a broad, toothless smile, babbling something incoherent as he grabbed at his reading glasses.

"What about you?" he asked, distracting him with one of the little plastic toys that littered the house, waiting until he was occupied to focus his full attention on Kate. "When're you gonna start having some fun? It's not healthy, a beautiful young woman spending all her time cooped up with a baby and an old man."

She could tell that he was trying to get her mind off Jack, hoping that by expanding her social circle, she'd meet someone else and get on with her life, but she couldn't help feeling a pang of remorse. All he wanted was to see her happy, happy and settled, with a family of her own. She just wished that she could make him see that she couldn't be either of these things without Jack. He was the one man she couldn't have, and yet, he was the only one she wanted.

Realising that this was as good an opportunity as any she was ever going to get to slip off with his blessing, she said, thinking fast, "I wanted to talk to you about that. Do you think you could watch him tonight? One of the girls from my class just got engaged, and she's having drinks to celebrate."

She figured that if she was smart, she could stretch this out for a while: she could invent a fake date for the following night, with a friend of a friend. Her father would be so relieved to see her moving on that he wouldn't question it. Not for a few weeks at least, but she'd cross that bridge when they came to it.

He raised an eyebrow at her, surprised to hear she had plans, but he nodded, his face breaking into a grin. "Of course. You just go enjoy yourself, honey. Leave the worrying to me."

She showered and dressed in a pair of fitted jeans, and a dark top, as though she really was going to a party, heading back down to the kitchen to say goodbye.

J.J. was in his highchair while her father prepared dinner for each of them; when she leant down to kiss his cheek, it felt warmer than usual, but, attributing it to the steam in the kitchen, she didn't think any more of it as she drove across town.

To avoid making it easy for them, they'd agreed to meet at a different motel to the one they'd used the night before, this one off the interstate, where they were unlikely to be seen by anyone who knew them.

Jack was already there. "I wasn't expecting you until at least midnight," he confessed when he opened the door for her, and she launched herself at him, eager to get down to business.

"Do you want me to come back?" she teased him, wrapping her legs around his waist, playing with the buttons on his shirt, and he responded by kissing her as he kicked it shut behind them.

"I never want you to leave," he whispered against her ear when they broke for air, the tone of his voice, intense and possessive, sending a shiver of anticipation through her.

"I never wanna leave either," she told him, opening his shirt, and dropping kisses down the smooth skin of his neck, determined to take the father's advice for once

She wanted to keep things light between them, to forget about everything else except being with him, but as she lay on his chest later that night, trying not to fall asleep, he said, clearing his throat, "Have you thought any more about the funeral.

He sounded nervous, aware of how sensitive the subject was with her. It took her a moment to figure out what he was talking about, and then her heart sunk. It wasn't something she wanted to consider, much less discuss.

"I'm still not going, if that's what you mean," she agreed, bristling. She needed to hate him; they all did. She couldn't stop, or else she'd be forced to admit that what he'd done, or tried to do, he was right.

"I have to. Please, Kate – I need you there," he argued softly, and she sighed as the despair in his tone melted her resistance. He wanted closure: to make amends and be forgiven. She got that. As much as she wanted to tell him that she didn't, she did.

"When is it?" she asked, and he relaxed, relieved that she wasn't going to put up more of a fight.

"Tomorrow. Noon."

She was supposed to be in class then, but she decided that she could leave early again for something so important to him. At the very least, it was another excuse to see him, even if she couldn't acknowledge him while they were watching. And she was pretty sure that they would be.

"I'll come," she agreed, apprehensive at the thought, even if it was plausible that both of them would show up of their own accord. They were taking too many risks, but he was right, he needed to do this. Maybe then he could really work on getting clean. "But we take separate cars, and we stagger it so that we don't arrive or leave at the same time."

"Thank you," he said, his voice low and husky as he lifted his head to kiss her, and she found herself returning his disbelieving grin at how dramatic this all sounded. She'd thought the days of her looking over her shoulder had ended when they left the island, and she was acquitted of her crimes, but now, she realised that they were only just beginning.

Next chapter: More Sam, the funeral, and Kate shows Jack a picture.. ;)