A/N: Thanks for the reviews folks. The next couple of chapters are going to be more Sara/Griss drama, and less to do with the case. The case will come back, and will be solved by the end of the story (promise). BTW, a lot of you are saying Grissom migraine story, it is not. That is clichéd (I mean I am sure there are at least 50 different stories with that). I mean he may have a migraine right now, but that's the least of his problem…(next chapter)…I promise it's not a brain tumor either. Not because it's clichéd but because I once watched someone die in the span of 6 months from one and I do not want to relieve that ever again.

Really, thanks for the reviews. Really it makes me want to give you more because no one has figured out A) Why Grissom got shot, B) What is wrong with Grissom, C) Why the Howards were killed… But I enjoy your guesses. Though the answer to Question A has been given (and it's nothing to do with the Howards case)…

Chapter 4: The Loner

Sara walked into the house cautious because she was not sure what waited for her inside. Had Grissom been attacked? Was he playing the role of the absent minded professor and left his door open? Was there a burglary in process? It was a common myth that it was a night when people house would be burglarized in their sleep, she knew for a fact that almost all burglaries occurred during the day when people were away from their homes and apartments.

Now in the foyer of the house she thought about calling Brass in case something was going on. She decided against it simply because she did not want to explain the detective why she was at Grissom's. No one was going to talk her out of leaving, and Brass would do it or get the guys to help him do it.

It was when she saw the freezer door open that Sara got worried again. Rushing into the kitchen she found Grissom sitting on the floor his head resting against a cabinet door. Blood was had dried on the side of his face. Had he fallen? She wondered as she walked over to him. He looked like he was in pain.

"Grissom." Sara said walking over to him. He did not seem to acknowledge her. She touched him and felt his hot damp skin. If it were not for the fact his chest was rising and falling she would have sworn he was dead. "Grissom." She called a little louder her hand moving up to his neck to check his pulse. Did he have a heart attack? Why didn't she push him earlier to tell her what was wrong, she could tell he was unwell in his office, but she was so angry with him she ignored his pain.

Grissom opened his eyes when he felt the warm hands on his neck. He jumped when he saw Sara's face in front of his own.

"Hey." Sara said softly not sure if Grissom was completely aware yet.

"What are you doing here?" Grissom asked his voice harsh.

"The front door was open." Sara answered, "I knocked and when it opened I got worried."

Grissom did not remember leaving the front door open. After Brass got him home, he remembered pushing the door closed behind himself. He went straight to the bathroom and took his migraine medicine. Than he went to the kitchen to the to get a bottle of water and the ice pack for his head. He remembered feeling extremely dizzy, and as he tried to walk out he fell. The edge of the counter, he had hit his face as he fell to the ground. The world had still been spinning, so he decided to rest against the cabinet before he was going to stand up. He remembered thinking he would rest his eyes for a few minutes because the world had still been spinning. ...Ouch.

"Did you hit your head?" Sara asked her fingers gently assessing the damage to the damage to the side of Grissom's head.

"On the counter." Grissom answered trying to withdraw further into the cabinet door he was leaning against.

"It doesn't look too bad." Sara said, "I don't think you'll need stitches but it needs to be cleaned."

Grissom sat on the floor the migraine was still pounding away inside his head. Hitting his head probably did not help matters he thought to himself, and that thought him into a small fit of laugher.

Sara looked at him worried because Grissom seemed to be laughing at nothing, "You must have hit your head harder than I thought." Sara said, "Are you sure you feel ok? Maybe you should go to the hospital."

"Don't need the hospital, it's just a headache" Grissom responded, "I had it before I hit my head." He stated quickly after seeing her look worried, "Migraine."

"Oh." Sara said putting the symptoms he had exhibited together it seemed to be an accurate assessment. How had she missed it? Oh yeah because it was Grissom.

Grissom finally tried to stand up, but he appeared to be unsteady. Sara reached out and helped him up steadying him once he was on his feet.

"Thanks." Grissom said feeling embarrassed, "The medicine sometimes makes me a bit out of it."

Neither spoke for a few seconds of awkward silence. Grissom was leaning against the counter not sure what to say to Sara, and Sara was not sure what to say herself.

Finally Grissom realized he was not sure why Sara was at his house, but he was sure it was for a fight or maybe she expected an apology for something. He really did not want to fight right now, he really just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep.

"What time is it?" Instead of confronting whatever she wanted he decided to take the easy route and ask an obvious question.

"About 4 pm." Sara said looking at the time on her phone.

Grissom wanted to ask why are you here, but he was trying to find the words so that he did not sound annoyed. Maybe if he did not sound annoyed she would not launch into whatever fight she had been building up for because he could tell she had come to fight. Her body language had changed, she was coiled for a fight, and he knew he had to stop it if he wanted to ever get the chance to curl into his bed before shift started.

"You might want to take tonight off Griss. I really think you should go to the hospital too." Sara said hoping it did not cause a fight. She had come here with all intentions of telling Grissom about himself, but he looked so pitiful that she could not right now. She was still tense though because it was weird standing in his kitchen across from him.

Grissom knew he was in no shape to go into work, but he needed to. There were cases to be worked, and he had not called off sick in years. He shook his head in agreement, and immediately regretted it as his brain reminded him the blood vessels were restricted and he was currently in the grasp of a migraine.

"Why did you come here?" He finally asked ignoring her last statement about the hospital.

"I wanted to talk." Sara said knowing they both knew she did not come just to talk. "It can wait."

Ok Grissom thought, he actually thought he had said it, instead he just stood there staring at Sara. Why was she still here? Was she expecting something from him?

"Have you eaten yet?" Sara asked not sure what to do with herself, but she felt like she should not leave Grissom alone. He looked so ragged. She had not realized how exhausted he had been, and the pain he was in was etched clearly on his features. Her anger had caused her to ignore all of this.

"I'm not hungry." Grissom responded honestly. The idea of food made him nauseous.

"Well…" Sara said hoping Grissom would make it easy on her, but she knew that was a faulty hope. The silence between them was uncomfortable again, and she was not sure what to day or do. "Do you have a first aid kit? I can clean that cut for you since you won't go to the hospital."

Grissom wanted to object, but he could feel the blood on his face and he did not trust his shaky hands to not make it worse by causing it to bleed again. "In the bathroom."

"Why don't you sit down and I'll go get it." Sara said leaving before Grissom could object. She remembered where his bathroom was from the last time she had been at his house. It had been during a case they were working, the gang hand showed up to work it with Grissom after he was kicked off the case by the Sheriff.

Grissom took the time to call Catherine, his cellphone still in his pocket.

"I do not think I can make it in tonight to work. Can you cover shift?" Grissom asked as soon as Catherine answered the phone. He knew she would relish at the chance to play the boss, most of the team would not enjoy it, but Catherine was good at her job. She would keep them inline, even if she got a bit too bossy.

"No problem." Catherine said, "You ok?"

"Migraine."

"Did you take your pills?" Catherine asked clearly driving somewhere as Grissom could hear the sound of traffic.

"Yes." Grissom said.

As Sara walked back into the room she had called out, "You don't have much in the way of first aid supplies."

Catherine heard her in the background and she could not help but smile, "Sara is there?"

"She showed up to talk."

The smile quickly faded, Catherine did not think Grissom was in the shape to fight, and that usually what a talk meant between those twos. "You need me to come over."

"No." Grissom answered.

"Wait why did Sara need a first aid kit?" Catherine asked.

"Hit my head. I'm fine. Just needs clean."

"And you are letting Sara do it?"

"Yes." Grissom answered getting annoyed by all of the questions.

"Put Sara on the phone."

"No need to talk to her. I got to go." Grissom said hanging up the phone not wanting Catherine to get any more information.

"Who was that?" Sara asked standing over Grissom.

"Catherine."

"She was ok with covering shift tonight?"

"Yes." Grissom answered looking up at Sara.

It was than that Sara's phone rang. Sara laughed when she saw the display it was Catherine.

"Hello Catherine."

"Tell Grissom thanks for hanging up on me."

Sara frowned because she was sure Catherine was going to ask her to come into work tonight. She had hoped to maybe hang around Grissom for a bit to make sure he was ok, and than tell him the news once she was sure he was ok, "What do you need Catherine?"

"Can you do me a favor?"

Here it comes Sara thought, "What do you need?"

"Can you stay with Grissom tonight. He said he hit his head, and this is his third migraine in two months. Maybe you can try to convince him to go to the hospital?"

Sara looked at Grissom worried. She could not remember seeing him in pain before that day, but he often hid in his office a few times. He had claimed he was doing paperwork, but Catherine always ended up doing the paperwork. Sara knew this because Catherine would complain about it. Sara had just assumed Grissom was doing some sort of experiment in his office. It was not uncommon for the night supervisor to come up with an experiment for a case.

"I can try." Sara said not really wanting to stay the entire time around Grissom, but she was worried about him now. Looking at him now, she saw he had lost some weight, not much, but enough that his clothes were a bit loose, and his face was pale.

"Thank you Sara."

Hanging up the phone Sara was not sure how to broach the subject with Grissom.

"What did Catharine want?" Grissom asked taking Sara's option away.

"She asked me if I was willing to stay here to keep an eye on you. And try to get you to go to the hospital."

"I am fine." Grissom growled.

"You know after you hit your head you are supposed to have someone around just to make sure."

"It's not that bad."

"I know." Sara said exhaling in frustration, sometimes Grissom was just like a little kid, a little kid she wanted to smack occasionally, "But you know it is easier to just do what Catherine ask than have her come over here. I doubt her yelling at you will really help with your migraine."

"I'm sure you have a life and have better things to do than hang out here. I was just going to sleep anyways." Grissom said trying to give Sara an out. He was not sure how he felt about having her in his house. His inner sanctum, the one place he could stay and not have to hide away or think about what he did. He could just be here, and he knew here said a lot about who he was. What if she looked around while he was asleep? She would learn more about him than he wanted her to know.

"I actually did not have any plans." Sara lied, she had plans, but they included her packing to leave. "Like I said it is easier to do what she wants."

"I know." Grissom said in defeat.

"Let's get that wound cleaned so you can go rest."

"What are you going to do?"

"Do you have any of the latest forensic journals? I was just going to catch up on those. My laptop is out in my car too, so I can go grab that and work for a bit."

"Working on your day off?" Grissom said raising an eyebrow, but it hurt so he quickly let it lower back down.

"Just research." Sara wanted to add it was research on graduate schools she could attend to obtain her PhD.

"How about you go get your laptop, and you may want to stop somewhere for food. I'll find the journals and bring them out before I go to sleep."

"Not so fast we need to clean that cut."

Grissom let her administer to him before she left to go find food, and Grissom showered while she was gone. When he got out of the shower and she was not back, he took the time to quickly hide away anything he did not want her seeing. He doubted she would snoop, but you never know. Finally when she returned he walked out of his office with the password for his internet, and the last 5 forensic journals he had received in the mail.

"Thanks Griss." Sara said taking the journals from him. "I have some extra food if you'd like some?"

"No. I'm just going to go get some sleep." Grissom said, "You really don't have to stay you know."

"I know. But I want to." Sara said, "I want to make sure you are ok. Plus you know Cath will check in."

"OK. If you need anything just ask." Grissom said feeling more comfortable now, unsure why the idea of Sara staying no longer made him uncomfortable, but he was in no state to think about. Before he left he stopped again and turned to ask, "What did you want to talk about?"

"We can talk later." Sara said knowing it was better to let him rest and the migraine to leave before she told him she was leaving.

"You came over, it must have been important." Grissom said walking back across the room sitting down in a chair so that Sara would get the point he wanted her to talk now.

"It is nothing." Sara said lying.

"Just tell me Sara." Grissom said knowing it was not good if she kept refusing to tell him.

Sara exhaled and decided it might be a better time, Grissom looked so exhausted and in pain that he probably would not fight her much, "I am leaving."

"When?" Grissom asked.

"As soon as possible."

"Why?"

Sara frowned, how did she tell him it is because of him. Not just that he won't love her, but because he won't respect her either. "Does it matter?"

"Yes. It matters to me." Grissom said, "You are one of the best CSI's"

Sara wanted to scream, just earlier he had told her she was not a good CSI, but now she was wanting to leave, he was changing his tune, he always did this. She deiced to call him on it, "That is not what you said earlier. You cannot keep changing your mind every time I tell you I want to leave. You flattering me his not enough to make me stay."

"I did not say you were a bad CSI." Grissom said searching his memory to make sure he had not said those words.

"You did. You said I should learn to check my emotions, it would make me a better CSI."

Grissom wanted to roll his eyes, but he knew it would hurt, "Better CSI does not mean you are not a good CSI. That you are not one of the best. A better CSI means that sometimes you let your emotions get in the way."

"How sexist." Sara said, "Because I'm a female I'm emotional."

"Not what I was saying and you know that." Grissom said keeping calm, surprisingly, "Just because you are a female does not mean you are emotional. Nick's emotions get in the way often. You identify with the victims too much. That can cloud your judgment sometimes. Occasionally it works in your favor, but more often it clouds judgment. Makes you bias, and you could miss something."

"I still need to leave." Sara said, "You do not respect me like you do the other team members."

"I respect you Sara."

"You don't show it." Sara said, "You don't show me the respect you show Catherine, Nick or Warrick."

Grissom knew a bit of this was true. He almost never yelled at any of his team, except Sara. He never yelled at any of his team in front of others, except Sara. "I am sorry if I ever disrespected you."

"Thank you for the apology, but it's not enough."

Grissom sighed, "The lab needs you Sara."

Not this line again Sara thought to herself. She could not make a future with the lab, not like Grissom. She wanted a life one day, someone to come home to, something to come home too even. Something other than the crushing loneliness.

Grissom continued to talk, "I know things happen or did not happen between us."

Sara was listening now, he was actually talking about a subject that mattered, addressing one of their core problems.

"It may be part of the reason for the way I treat you." Grissom said, "The others cannot get under my skin like you do."

"Still no excuse."

"I'm not saying it is Sara." Grissom replied quickly, "All I can do is say I'll try harder. Sometimes I cannot help it."

"Will you stop punishing me for going on dates with other people."

"I never…"

Before Grissom could finish Sara said, "You did Grissom. When I was dating Hank. You made me work alone for weeks."

"I didn't do it on purpose." Grissom was honest, later he knew he had done it out of jealousy, but at the time he did not think he made a conscious decision to punish her.

"That is why I have to leave Griss. This thing between us, I need to get away so I can be happy."

"I understand." Grissom said, "All I can say is you will be missed. I will miss you if you decide to go. I hope you do not. Can you wait to make your decision until we talk properly. When my head does not feel like it's going to explode? We can have a proper talk about your grievances."

"I can wait." Sara said.

"Would you stay if I transferred to a different shift? What if I went to swing, you could keep graveyard, and the swing shift supervisor would take over. That way you would not have to work with me? If that is the problem."

"You would do that?" Sara asked surprised at the offer.

"Yes." Grissom answered. "I asked you to come down here and work. If you cannot work because of me, than I should fix that."

"We can talk more later." Sara said truly touched by his offer. "Go rest Griss. I'll still be here when you wake up."

"Thanks for staying Sara."

It was an half hour later when Sara heard the snores coming from Grissom's room. They had taken her out of her trance she had been in reading an journal article entitled "Progress towards developing the 'pathogen toolkit'. It had been a dreadfully boring article, but she felt like she should be up to date on the research in her field.

Getting off the couch she stretched. Music would be nice, she thought, walking over to Grissom's stereo. She hoped he would not mind her turning on his stereo. Pressing the power button she looked at it, trying to figure out how to work the antique. It was antique too, it had a record player on top, a multi disk port that ejected, a tape slot, and radio dials. As she was studying the stereo, a guitar started to sound through the speakers.

Quickly she recognized the voice when the person started to sing.

He's a perfect stranger,
Like a cross of himself and a fox.
He's a feeling arranger
And a changer of the way he talks.
He's the unforeseen danger
The keeper of the key to the locks.
Nothing can free him.
Step aside, open wide,
It's the loner

She had never heard this Neil Young song before, and that observation was not overly surprising because she was not a huge Neil Young fan. She was surprised to find that Grissom was a Neil Young fan. For some reason she expected him to listen to classical music or maybe old country like Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, and some of the older folks of country music.

The song though, was not half bad. She walked back over to the couch and Googled the lyrics trying to find the name of the song. "The loner" was the answer Google provided her. Rumor had it Neil Young had wrote it about himself. Somehow it reminded Sara of Grissom.

If you see him in the subway,
He'll be down at the end of the car
Watching you move until he knows
He knows who you are
When you get off at your station alone,
He'll know that you are.
Know when you see him,
Nothing can free him.
Step aside, open wide,
It's the loner.

She listened to the last verse of the song, and she could not help but think of Grissom. How she found him studying people often, and he seemed to know about them than he seems to let on. Most seem him as socially awkward geek, but he was socially awkward, but he also had the ability to read and understand people. It was what made him such a good gambler, when he choose to gamble. It also made him good at interrogations. However, the skills of knowing others only worked on strangers. The minute you came close to him, well that was when he seemed to be blocked. Being close to people was his kryptonite, he had a hard time understanding them when they became parts of his everyday life.

Despite being able to know a lot about strangers just by studying them, no one knew very much about Grissom. Sara could recite every detail she knew about him. His father died when he was young, his mom was around, but that was all she knew about her. He was not popular in high school or college. He seemed more relaxed around strangers, as he had been around her in San Francisco. He liked racing cockroaches, though he had not done so in awhile, that she knew of. And the rest of what she knew was anything anyone could know if they looked at his CV.

No one, including Catherine, seemed to know much about Grissom or his life outside of CSI. Like when was the last time he dated someone? Was he ever married? In a serious relationship? What did he do for fun, other than race cockroaches? Did he always want to be a CSI? How did he work from becoming a corner to a CSI? What did his mom do for a living? Did he have any brothers or sisters? There was so many more questions that Sara had about the man she had worked for and with for years now. The man she had pined for since well it seemed like forever. The one question she had that she knew the answer would never be found was why was Grissom so scared to let people in? To let people get to know who he is. She knew he was terrified of people knowing him, and he hid away because of it, but why?

There was a woman he knew
About a year or so ago.
She had something that he needed
And he pleaded with her not to go.
On the day that she left,
He died
But it did not show
Know when you see him,
Nothing can free him.
Step aside, open wide,
It's the loner.

A/N: Song is the Loner by the one and only Neil Young! Seriously needle the damage done, Stringman, long may you run, and many other great songs by the man.