A/N: So so sorry. I swore I would abandon this and I haven't. After my last update (like a year ago) my biological father committed suicide (do not say you're sorry because he was not worth it and he left me dealing with the mess that was his life) it sent my head into a spin. WHen I finally emerged from that mess I had work. Anyways SORRY seriously! If anyone is still reading this thank you, and SOOO SOOO SORRY!

Chapter 9: You Won't Let Me

Dreamless sleep was the best he could hope for, and Grissom's body was willing to comply. After countless hours of work and running from the demons nipping at his heels, when his head hit the pillow he was unconscious. However, in the dreamless sleep there was an annoying noise sounding into the blackness behind his eyelids. A large portion of his mind craved the darkness dreamless sleep, but the supervisor side won out forcing him to open his eyes when he realized the annoying noise was in fact his phone ringing. His voice rough with sleep he answered the phone with his custom greeting, "Grissom."

Sara was surprised by the voice on the other side, she had hoped she was not waking him, "We have another set of bodies. Brass told me not to call you, but I knew you'd want to know."

Grissom sighed realizing that his attempt to stay in the dreamless world was slipping away, "Can you pick me up?"

"Sure." Sara responded confused as to why Grissom needed a ride.

Grissom heard the confusion in her voice and answered her unspoken question, "Brass drove me home. My car is still at the lab."

"Oh ok. Will thirty minutes be enough for you to get ready?"

"Yes." Grissom sighed.

Grissom made his way to the bathroom, turning the shower on to allow it to warm up before he climbed in. He knew he should just jump in and not waste the water, but his body ached with his old age and he was exhausted mentally and physically. Time must have escaped him, as it sometimes did when he was tired, because he heard the doorbell sound and he had yet to get out of the shower. Quickly he climbed out of the shower, toweling off quickly, and pulling on his robe. It was not the most appropriate attire to answer the door, but it would have to do for now.

As he quickly rushed towards the door he stubbed his toe on a table cussing through the pain. He reached the door and opened it, "I'm almost ready. Come in." He said as a greeting.

Sara felt herself staring at Grissom who was in just a robe, his hair clearly wet from a shower. From the sound of things he was not in a good mood, which would make the day much more difficult for all involved. It had been over thirty minutes since she spoke with him. She stopped along the way and grabbed coffee and breakfast for them because from the sound of his voice over the phone he clearly had been asleep.

She walked inside behind him, closing the door and looking around the house that Grissom called home. It was not her first time here, but she could not help but study the place each time she entered. When she was younger, and now even as an adult, she believed you could tell a lot about a person by their house. As an adult, she learned that her hypothesis had some merit. Sometimes it felt like an anthropological dig exploring Grissom's house and office, and other times, especially at his home, she felt like she got a view of what Goffman discussed as the back stage region. It was a rare glimpse into Grissom the man and not Grissom the CSI or supervisor. It was these rare moments that she remembered the man she had started to care for back in San Diego.

"I brought some breakfast." Sara said holding up the trey of coffee and muffins.

"Thank you." Grissom said trying to force a smile on his face. "I will only be a few more minutes. Sorry."

Sara was surprised by the sincere apology. "It's fine. It gives me time to eat breakfast."

Grissom was able to ready himself quickly and was back in the living room where Sara waited within ten minutes of having left her. Grabbing his backup kit out of the closet he spoke again, "Thank you calling me too."

"No problem. I knew you'd want to be there." She also knew there would be hell to pay later if she had not called him. She handed him his coffee, "If it is ok with you, I thought you could eat in the car on the way over."

"I'm actually not that hungry. I'll just take the coffee." Grissom said knowing if he ate the food would likely not stay down.

After a long silence on the drive over, Grissom finally started to ask questions about the crime scene, "Do we know anything about the scene?"

"Just another family that's been tortured."

"Any ID?"

"Not as of when I called you." Sara said, "They have similarities. That is why they called me."

When they finally got to the scene Grissom had to agree that the scene was familiar to the one he and Sara had been working. A father tortured last, with the children and wife both having been tortured and raped. Sara did not show any sign of being upset at Grissom's lack of emotions this time. They both worked quietly throughout the day, only taking breaks to hydrate and take care of bodily functions. It was dark by time they had finished processing the scene.

"What do you think?" Sara asked as they walked to her car.

"I think it's the same people." Grissom said, "We got lucky this time with a footprint. Maybe they got messy and left a traceable fingerprint."

"We can only hope." Sara said noting Grissom's optimism.

Back at the lab they both catalogued, processed, and shipped off evidence to the appropriate departments. Grissom only broke away to give out assignments for the night. He and Sara were out of the field unless another big case came up. They were only focusing on the torture cases.

By the middle of their shift, well into what would likely turn out to be a triple shift, Sara heard Grissom's stomach growl. She laughed to herself, he is human after all. "Maybe we should take a break and go grab a bite to eat."

Grissom set down the photo he was analyzing, "Go ahead. There is something here I am missing."

"Take a break Griss. If you keep trying to force whatever to the forefront it will only retreat further. Come on. We can go to the diner you like so much. I won't even make a fuss if you order a burger."

Grissom stood up, she was probably right, if anything he needed a break. He felt like he was going cross eyed staring at the photo. "Let's go."

They decided to walk the few blocks to the diner to stretch their legs. Again they walked in a comfortable silence, neither speaking about any of the events that had transpired between them recently.

Grissom did not order the burger, instead he went for the healthy option remembering the warnings he received from both his family doctor and the ER doctor. He did not want to stroke out, and decided it best to make the dietary changes required of him. However, it did not make the spinach salad taste any better.

Sara said nothing at Grissom's order. Instead she filled the conversation for the both of them going over the details of both cases. "If we could just find the connection between the two families."

As if on cue in walked Brass having been told by Wendy at the front desk that Grissom and Sara had gone to the diner down the block for food. "I thought I told you to stay home and rest." Brass angrily stated as he sat next to Sara.

"I slept."

"Not very long." Brass said.

"I'm fine." Grissom said unsuccessfully stifling a yawn.

"Yeah you sound it." Brass said. "And don't think I am letting you off the hook." Brass said turning to Sara, "Did you have to call and pick him up?"

"Who told?"

"It does not matter." Brass said, "Am I the only one who remembers that Gill was in the hospital earlier this week? Am I the only one who see he looks like he went a few rounds with someone and lost."

Sara had the sense to feel guilty about calling Grissom and having him come out. She should have known better, but he was an adult so he could make his own decisions.

"What do you need Jim?" Grissom asked annoyed with Brass's statements.

"We have an ID on the family." Brass said, "Not that I should tell you but the family are the Roth's."

"Anything else?" Sara asked.

"Mr. Roth owns a laundry business. Mostly dry cleaning, a linen service, and a couple laundry matt. Mrs Roth owned a catering company. The two girls both attended a local catholic school."

"Any connection with Howards?"

"Not that we know of. Initially it does not look like the Howards frequented any of the Roth's laundry business nor have they had contact with Mrs Roths catering company. The children all went to different schools. "

"There has to be a connection." Sara stated, "Somewhere. We just have not found it."

Grissom added, "It could be random."

"Does not feel that way." Sara said, "Whatever this is, it is personal."

"Why do you say that?" Grissom asked already having his own hypothesis but he wanted to hear Sara's thoughts.

"Just the way the deaths occurred. Torturing, raping, and saving the men for last. If there is a connection it has to be between Mr Roth and Mr Howard."

"We are looking." Brass said, "I'll let you know if we find anything."

Grissom nodded in agreement with Sara. It seemed the most likely option right now. However, he would wait to form any hypothesis until there was enough evidence to support it.

"Griss did you turn into a rabbit?" Brass said noting Grissom's spinach salad. "Or is Sara influencing you too much."

"Brass." Sara chastised him for giving Grissom grief. "Is that all?"

"Yeah." He said laughing, "Get some rest, both of you. Gill most of all you, you look like hell."

Brass left the two to finish their meal. When they finished, Gill paid the bill for both of them, citing her having bought breakfast. As they were walking back Sara said, "You really do look exhausted Gill. Maybe you should go get some rest."

"I'm fine." Gill said, "We only have a few more hours of work and then we both can go home and rest."

When they finished processing the evidence, Sara was good and exhausted. They had worked for nearly 24 hours straight, and they were nowhere near solving the case. If anything they felt like they were further away.

"Go get some rest." Grissom said shaking off his own tiredness. He knew when he got home he would not sleep. The case, the evidence, it would just play over and over in his mind until he found whatever he was missing.

"You too Griss." Sara said walking outside with him.

When Sara got home, she quickly showered and dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top. Her apartment was hot, and she refused to turn the air up any higher. Getting in bed, she quickly drifted off to sleep. It felt like she had just fallen asleep when she heard someone knocking on her door. She crawled out of bed, grabbing her robe and putting it on.

When she looked out the peep hole, she saw Grissom standing on the other side shifting from side to side, clearly nervous. She opened the door she said confused, "Hello. Griss."

"The wives." Grissom said excited, "We did not really think about them. But what if they are important?"

"Come in." Sara said letting him step inside before she closed the door behind him, she finally responded, "But they were killed before the husband."

"Yes. But what if the husband only mattered in one case?"

"What do you mean?" Sara asked leading him to the couch.

"The bank, it has food catered in from time to time. For business lunches, and other occasions. Mrs Roth's owns a catering business."

"I'm sure Brass checked."

"I spoke with him before I called you. They had checked, but only if the Howards, not the bank had done business with the Roths."

"And?"

"The bank has lunch catered in twice a month."

"So that is how they are connected."

"Yes." Grissom said, "It's not much yet, but it's something."

"Did you rest at all Grissom?" Sara asked, knowing he unlikely had it had only been an hour since she had laid down in bed.

"No." Grissom decided not to lie to her. "I was going to go to the bank, but I thought you would want to come with."

Sara sighed as much as she wanted to go to the bank and solve this case, Grissom looked worn and she was not sure how the man kept going. She remembered the doctors warning about rest and decided that Grissom's health and life mattered more. The bank would still be there tomorrow, "Griss get some rest. We can go to the bank later. Or tomorrow. You need to rest."

Grissom did not want to tell her he could not sleep. That she had woken him from the dreamless sleep that refused to come back. The dreams came back and no one was there to wake him from them.

When he said nothing, Sara sighed, "Do you want something for breakfast? I think I have some egg substitutes in the fridge. Or toast."

"I'm fine." Grissom said.

"How about some tea?" Sara asked.

"If it's no…"

"It's not a problem." Sara said walking into the kitchen, she only had chamomile tea, but she went ahead and made it for him. He'd have to deal if it was not something he liked. When the tea finished boiling she poured the water into the teacup and walked it out to Grissom. "Sorry I have not had a chance to pick up milk from the grocery store."

"This is fine thanks." Grissom said taking the cup from her.

"I guess I'll go get dressed." Sara said walking back to her room, deciding to turn on music so that Griss would not be able to hear her getting ready through the thin walls of her apartment. Now that she was sober, it felt weird to have him sitting on her couch.

With your hand in mine
I would show you how to laugh
Nothing heavy nothing serious
Just forget about all of that
You've been stepping back
I want to be your friend
Tear down the walls that surround you
And build you back up again
But you won't let me

Grissom felt as warn as he looked. He relaxed back into the couch, hoping that his body would stop aching. After awhile his eyes became heavy and started to droop. He shook himself awake, but a few seconds later his eyes drifted close again. His eye lids felt too heavy to open no matter how much he fought them. A sense of warmth and safety washed over him and with it all his will to fight sleep went away.

When Sara emerged from her room she was talking to Grissom about the case until she saw him asleep on the couch. The tea cup rusting on his leg. Smiling to herself, she took the tea from him and shifted his legs so that they were on the couch. He barely registered her moving him. Once she got him fully on the couch, she decided to take his shoes off to make him more comfortable. Grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch she covered him up. Well that solved her problem, he would hopefully sleep for awhile.

Sara went back to bed herself, changing back into her pj's. She crawled into the bed and quickly drifted off to sleep letting the music play gently on replay.

Grissom smelt something cooking. The dreams had stayed away, he thought as he felt his stomach rumble. He had not cooked anything recently, had not been home long enough to even think about cooking. So who was cooking? Those thoughts woke him, opening his eyes he saw a color of fabric that did not fit in his house. This was not his couch, it was way more comfortable than his. Sitting up slowly, he took in his surroundings, he realized he was at Sara's apartment. How did he… he had driven over after the break in the case finally came to him. He must have fallen asleep. Feeling embarrassed he looked around and saw Sara in the kitchen.

"Good afternoon." Sara said stirring something.

"Sorry about falling asleep." Grissom said trying not to turn red from embarrassment.

"It is fine. I'm just glad to finally get sleep myself." She said trying to make him feel less embarrassed about falling asleep while waiting for her. She grabbed two plates out of her cupboards, "How do you feel?"

"Better thanks." Grissom said getting up and realizing he did not have shoes on. Instead of searching for his shoes he decided to go to the kitchen.

"I made some frozen Chinese I had. It's one of those PF Chang meals you can buy at the store. It's vegetarian, but I am sure you will still like it." Sara was serving out both rice and the vegetable's that were in some brown sauce.

"Thank you." Grissom said, "You didn't need to cook."

"It's fine." Sara said, "I thought after we finished eating, I could go talk to the Roth's employees, and you could go back to the bank. I know you already interviewed people, but with this information maybe if we divide and conquer and stay in contact we can figure out why the Roth's and Howards were killed."

"Sounds like a good plan to me." Grissom said only because he wanted to distance himself from Sara. It was too much for him to sleep on her couch. Ideally, it would make more sense for them both to go to each location together. That way one might catch onto something the other did not, or at the very least they would be working with the same information.

Sara needed distance from Grissom as well. Having watched him sleep after she woke up, she realized she cared much more for him then she should. He made it clear that he was unable to care about anyone else. That he was not ready, and Sara knew in her heart that he may never be ready to love anyone. She realized in the short time she spent watching him sleep, that he would break her heart eventually. He would smash it into a million pieces without meaning to. He was an intelligent grown man, but emotionally he was nothing more than a scared little boy. No matter how hard she tried, it was unlikely that she would be able to hold onto him for long. He would run away from her eventually, and it would hurt her.

Thank you for reading anyone still with this!