A/N: William Elliot Whitmore (singer/songwriter and recommend listening to it) made this chapter possible.

Chapter 11: Diggin' My Grave

The pain in Grissom's knees made him fidget trying to distribute his weight onto one knee in hopes of giving the other a break. The cold marble below him was not helping with his discomfort. Mr. One had disappeared to somewhere in the bank and that left Two through Four watching over the hostages. No one spoke and the silence felt suffocating at times because Grissom felt like he was just waiting to be killed. Just sitting there waiting to die made him think of all of the things he never did. Tell his friends and family how much they mattered to him, tell Sara what he felt and though of her, fall in love if he was not already in love with Sara, and most of all just enjoy his life.

Life had become monotone since it seemed like forever. He defined his life by his work. Which is not a bad thing, except that is all he used to define his life. Closing himself off from others, even Catherine who was likely his closest friend, was kept at a distance. Work was life, and life was work, anything else did not matter and only got in the way of work. He had wanted to be the best in the field, and when he achieved that, he just kept working. When he was younger, he used to say, after he was the best he would do other things. Travel more often, fall in love (maybe), and have a normal life. However, after you focus on one thing for so long, and push everything else away, all you are left with one day is that one thing you focused on. What was worse is that he had people who cared about him, but he had never tried to connect with them or show he cared because… he could say because of work, but maybe it was simply because he was missing something or something was broken inside of him. Whatever it was, he was missing the ability to connect with others.

Somewhere along the line, maybe because of Anna (but that would have been an easy excuse to use), he lost his faith in humanity. Humanity hurt each other, in some of the most horrendous ways. He know had seen it with his own eyes, but there were other ways humans hurt each other that did not always end in physical injuries and/or death. It was the non-physical injuries that likely caused him to shut himself off and face work. Anna was a good starting place, he still blamed himself for her death. He had not been there enough for her, no matter what their differences were, he should have been there to help her. Instead, he focused on work and making a career, and somewhere along the line he lost it all. She killed herself. She choose death over him. Logically, he knew it was not his fault. While he valued logic over everything else, logic did not overpower the feelings in his heart or the monsters in his head that told him she was dead because of him. If he had put his career aside and the hard feelings for just a few seconds, maybe he could have changed the outcome. The anger and guilt inside of him, long ago stuffed deep inside, had resurfaced, maybe with the appearance of Sara in his life. Now it was back in full force, and the two sides warring inside made him feel even more broken. Made him believe he was not worth connection and love, that he did not deserve love.

His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing phone behind his head. The negotiator was calling again, the last conversation had not gone well. Mr. One seemed to have switched from bank robber to wanting to be a mass murderer. He had threatened to kill multiple hostages when the negotiator upset him. Grissom knew at this point all he could do was stay quiet and try to keep his promise to Betty that he would get her out of there alive.

"Food is here." Mr. One said to no one really. "We need someone to go out and get it."

"Gilbert." Mr. One walked around the desk, "Why don't you go get the food. You can take the security guard by the door with you."

Grissom looked at the guard's dead body and frowned. He would do what Mr. One wanted it was the easiest way not to get killed this instant. Standing up Grissom felt his knees pop and he almost groaned at the pain.

"Getting old." Mr. One said smacking Grissom's shoulder hard. "Be quick about it. If you do not come back in I kill Betty and her parasite."

Grissom looked over at Betty who looked horrified. He would come back. He quickly made his way over to the dead security guard and grabbed the man's arms. Dragging the body outside Grissom struggled with the guard's dead weight. The police were screaming at him, and he set the guard down and raised his arms, "Do not shoot." Grissom called out not wanting to be killed by friendly fire. "Mr. One told me to bring him out and get the food."

Brass was shocked when he saw Grissom coming out of the bank. He had not known the CSI supervisor had gone to the bank. Usually Grissom contacted him when he went out to interview people. Brass rushed over to where Grissom stood surrounded by cops.

The negotiator started asking Grissom questions about the bank robbers. Grissom response was, "I have to get back inside. He is going to kill the manager's assistant if I don't."

"How many are dead?" Brass asked Grissom.

"Two others besides the guard. He just shot them. There was nothing I could do."

"Of course you couldn't." Brass said trying to comfort the man who was doing his best to look put together. The guilt was evident in Grissom's eyes, if you knew him well enough.

"How many robbers?" The negotiator asked.

"Four. But Mr. One seems to be in charge."

"How many hostages?" Brass asked.

"I think about sixteen." Grissom said, "I really need to get back inside."

"Griss, maybe it's better if you didn't." Brass tried.

"I have to. He will kill a pregnant woman and god knows how many other hostages. I don't doubt it." Grissom said looking at Brass knowing the look in his friends eyes did not bode well for anyone inside.

"Do they know who you are?"

"He thinks I'm a cop." Grissom said, "I did not want to correct him. I think he would interpret as a challenge to his intelligence."

"Don't." The negotiator stated, "I will try to correct him."

"I need to get back inside."

"What can you tell us about the other hostage takes?" Brass asked.

"Not much. They all listen to Mr. One."

"Where are the hostages being held?" The HRT leader asked trying to get a better picture of what was going on inside.

"Close to the counters where the tellers usually are." Grissom responded.

"What about the hostage takers?"

"They are all around." Grissom said getting annoyed, "I really need to get back inside."'

"What if we hooked a camera to him? One of those small ones." The negotiator said knowing they needed to get eyes inside.

Brass spoke before Grissom could, "Hell no. They will find it, and they will kill him."

Grissom agreed with Brass's comment, and he knew it would not just be him that would die, "Me and two others likely. They are going to kill two additional hostages if anyone tries anything."

"He needs to get back inside now." Brass said looking at Grissom trying to provide some comfort to the man.

"I am supposed to bring food back." Grissom said almost as a question. Two officers came up with two huge bags filled with water and food and handed them to Grissom.

"Don't be a hero in there Griss." Brass said trying to provide some comfort to the CSI who looked like hell. There was blood on his shirt and from the looks of it none of it was his.

"Why would I start now?" Grissom said almost as a joke, but it was more of a dig at himself for failing to protect the victims inside the bank among many of his other cowardly mistakes throughout life.

Brass wanted to tell Grissom he was one of the bravest men he has ever meant. He had seen Grissom look killers in the eye, toy with them, and come out the victor. But anything Brass would say would feel like a goodbye, and he was not ready to say goodbye to his friend. Griss would make it out of this, Brass prayed to the God he believed in for this.

Grissom took them and left to go back into the bank. He reached the door and heard someone call out for him to drop the bags. He did as he was told letting the bags hit the ground and raising his hands over his head. He saw that Betty had a gun against her head.

"Step away from the bags Gilbert." Mr. One said not removing the gun from Betty's head.

Grissom did as was asked, and even moved a few steps away from the bags.

"Walk further inside." Mr. One ordered as Mr. Three started advancing on Grissom.

Grissom was now in the middle of the bank floor his hands over his heads watching Mr. One and Betty who was crying silently.

Mr. Three quickly searched Grissom finding nothing on him. "He's clean."

"Good now go check the bags." Mr. One ordered. "Gilbert you can come sit next to Betty."

Grissom made his way over towards Mr. One and Betty. Mr. One let Betty go and smiled at Grissom. Grissom saw nothing in the man's eyes, as if he was staring into blackness and nothingness. It made his blood run cold as he thought he might have seen true evil for the first time. Before he sat down, he helped Betty to the floor and then took the spot next to her. He was happy to be next to the other hostages again.

"What did you tell them while you were out there?" Mr. One asked standing over Grissom.

"They asked how many of you there were."

"What did you say?"

"I told them I had to get back inside."

Mr One struck before Grissom registered Mr. One's hand was moving. The gun caught Grissom on the side of the head and sent him tumbling to the side bumping into Betty who screamed. Grissom hand shot up to his head once he was able to get his wits about him, and he felt warm blood and he flinched when his fingers brushed over the gash right below his temple.

"Don't lie to me." Mr. One said.

"I told them I had to get back in." Grissom answered his voice rough with pain. "I did not want to be out there too long in case you assumed I was not coming back."

Mr. One glared at Grissom hatting that he could not read the man. He was never great at reading people. "You were out there for awhile. Must longer then it takes to get bags and walk them back in." Mr. One snapped.

"They were asking me questions, and I just kept telling them I had to get back inside."

"What else did they ask?" Mr. One did not believe him, no cop would go out and not say anything. It probably would have been better to send out another hostage, but he suspected the hostage would have not come back. A cop like Gilbert would come back to save an innocent life.

"How many dead, and I told them three."

"What happen to not telling them anything?" Mr. One snapped lashing out with his hand this time to backhand Grissom.

Grissom grunted when the hand connected with his face, the other side. The blow had stunned him, again. He felt the world spinning around and expected the cartoonish stars to show up in his vision. Instead just spots that slowly started to fade. When he spoke he tasted blood in his mouth, "They already knew that."

"What else did they ask?"

"Where the hostages were compared to you all."

"And?"

"I told them I had to get back in. That I didn't know. You were keeping me separate because you think I'm a cop." Grissom said flinching when Mr. One raised a hand to scratch his nose.

Mr. One laughed at Grissom's show of fear, "Good boy. Keep doing what you are told."

"Hand out the water." Mr One told Mr. Three. Mr. One left the main bank area again making all of the hostages feel slightly safer at his absences.

Grissom took the water and set it down on the floor. Betty was still crying next to him and her hands were shaking so much that she was struggling to open her own water. Grissom took it from her and opened it. The woman next to Betty put her arm around Betty and tried to comfort her.

Sometime later Betty finally calmed down and stopped crying. She started to fall asleep using Grissom's shoulder as a pillow. Grissom said nothing as he checked the cut on his head again and saw that it had stopped bleeding. So did the cut inside his mouth. When he touched the side of his head where he had been backhanded, he flinched. He was sure there was a decent sized bruise forming.

Mr. One returned to the room to answer the phone that was ringing. No one could hear the other side of the conversation, but the negotiator was failing at keeping Mr. One calm. As the conversation continued, Mr. One was becoming more and more agitated. When Mr. One looked over at Grissom with rage in his eyes, Grissom felt the full force of anger in Mr. One's eyes, and it made his blood run cold as he began to feel death was approaching him.

Mr. One smashed the phone down, picking it up off the desk and flinging it across the room. Some of the hostages cried out in horror as the phone came whizzing at them, but it flew over their heads and smashed into the walls behind the teller's desks. Mr. One was fuming as he looked around the hostages who all watched him waiting to observe more horror and praying they were not the victim of Mr. One's rage. Mr. One looked over Grissom and grinned as he reached Grissom, towering over the man he looked down and ordered. "Gilbert get up."

Betty startled at being woken up by Grissom gently moving her towards the woman on her other side. Grissom stood in front of the group of hostages looking at Mr. One awaiting more commands.

"Pick two others to join you."

"For what?" Grissom asked.

Mr. One's response was a quick jab to Grissom's abdomen the only sound coming from Grissom was the sound of the air rushing out of his body as he crumbled to the ground holding his abdomen. It was always terrifying those few seconds after having the wind knocked out of you, wondering if you would ever breathe again. Struggling to pull a breath and being unable to because your muscles refused to respond to your commands. Finally when he drew a breath it was ragged.

"Get up." Mr. One said disgusted at the other mans weakness.

Grissom struggled to get off his hands and knees he had fallen onto. Halfway up, Mr. One snatched a handful of Grissom's hair and pulled him up the rest of the way. Grissom was bent uncomfortably to prevent Mr. One from pulling the clump of hair out.

"Now choose three hostages." Mr. One snarled into Grissom's ear.

Grissom wanted to object and state he was only to choose two before, but he thought better of it. If he brought that to Mr. One's attention, he surely would be hit again, but worse of all, Grissom was sure he would likely sentence another hostage to death. Grissom was not sure what he was choosing so he picked three older men in the group.

"All four of you go knee in front of the doors." Mr. One ordered letting go of Grissom's hair. "Mr. Four go with them to make sure they don't try to run."

Grissom did not look at the other three men because he was sure he had just sentenced them to death with him. He could not look at them without feeling more guilt wash over him. He was a coward, he should have refused Mr. One's order.

In front of the doors Grissom and the other kneeled. The doors were clear so that the police outside could see them.

Mr. One joined them after what seemed like minutes. He knelt down next to one of the hostages and asked, "What is your name?"

"Sam." The man answered his voice calm despite knowing that death was likely coming.

"Sam do you have a family?"

"I have two grown children."

"What about your wife?" Mr. One asked looking at Grissom while he spoke with Sam.

"She died two years ago."

"Do you miss her?"

"Everyday." Sam responded.

Mr. One moved onto the next person, "What is your name?"

"Luke."

"Luke do you have a family?"

"Not anymore."

"You had one then?" Mr. One asked.

"Yes they were killed twenty years ago in a car accident."

"Where you driving the car?"

"Yes." Luke answered feeling guilt rush over him. He had been driving the car, and he had been drunk. They were driving home from a holiday party in Albany, NY and Luke had lost control of the car on the icy road. Their car flipped multiple times.

"Do you have any family?" Mr. One asked the third hostage, an eighty year old man.

"No sir." The man said.

"Did you have a wife?"

"Yes. Bertha died twenty years ago sir."

"What is your name?"

The old man was not scared by Mr. One's scrutiny. If anything he looked defiant despite his respectful manner of speaking, "Ben, sir."

"Ben what did you do for a living?"

"I was in the army Sir."

"Doing what?"

"Infantry during the Korean War, and Inspector General afterwards."

"Gilbert do you have a family." Mr. One turned his attention to Grissom.

"No." Grissom responded.

"A wife?"

"No."

"No family or wife, at least a girlfriend right?"

"No."

"Well damn that is just sad." Mr. One said. "You must be a bastard. Is it true you are only a scientist? Not even a cop."

"Yes."

"What do you study Gilbert?" Mr. One asked.

"Entomology."

"Isn't that bugs?"

"Yes." Grissom answered trying not to look at Mr. One because there was fear in Grissom's eyes, fear of death. It was not so much being dead he feared, but all of the regrets he would take with him to the grave. But dying was scary too, anyone who says they look death in the face and are not the least bit scared is a liar. It is what you do with the fear that mattered, and Grissom choose to hide it and not let it overwhelm him.

"What does an entomologist have to do with Crime Scene Investigation?"

"I can use the insects found in crime scenes to trace the time of the crime."

"You mean on dead bodies?"

"Usually yes."

"Interesting. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend Gilbert." Mr. One laughed, "Not even someone special?"

"No."

"So if I shot you in the head right now, no one would miss you?" Mr. One asked pressing a gun against Grissom's head.

Grissom heard gasp behind him, the other hostages, it took him a second to let the adrenaline rush through his system before he answered, "My mother might."

"Your mother. Are you a momma's boy? Do you still live with your mom Gilbert?"

"No." Grissom answered, he knew in his heart his team would miss him, but he was not going to say that.

Mr. One removed the gun from Grissom's head.

"Be a trooper and open the door for me Gilbert, and keep it open."

Grissom pushed the door open and he heard the shouts from the police to drop the gun and walk out. Everyone knew it was unlikely, but it had to be shouted.

Mr. One shouted out, "Were is the negotiator?"

The negotiator walked out from the crowed, "Mr. One we should talk this through."

"You should have thought about that before you failed to deliver what I demanded."

"We are working on it." The negotiator called back. "We just need a bit longer."

"There is a price to pay for being late." Mr. One responded. "Gilbert let the door go."

Grissom did as he was commanded watching the white washed door close, blocking any view of the inside of the bank.

"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe," Mr. One said moving pressing his gun into one of the three men's head at each word, "Catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers let him go, and make him pay fifty dollars each day. You are the one to die." The gun ended on Luke's head. Grissom saw the flash before he heard the loud bang from the gun. Luke's body dropped forward blood, pieces of skull, and grey matter splattered outward onto Grissom, Sam, Ben, Mr. One and the doors.

Luke's body fell into the door, pushing it forward, but not enough to open it wide. Within seconds of having shot Luke in the head, Mr. One quickly moved onto Sam.

In those few seconds, Grissom's actions surprised even him. Grissom pushed up to his feet screaming "You son of a bitch." He went to attack Mr. One who just finished shooting Sam in the head sending another body towards the door. Mr. One saw Grissom's movements, and quickly turned lashing out with his gun, sending Grissom tumbling to the ground his head ringing from the second blow to it that day.

Grissom lay on the ground struggling to remain conscious fully expecting a bullet to end his life any second. He flinched when he heard the gun go off again, felt as he felt the world going black around him.

SORRY NOT MY FAULT! (ok it's a bit my fault). I was going to hold off posting this chapter until I had CH13 written, but you all requested an update. If I get to CH13, I will post the other chapter (still have to read through it and correct things).

Thanks for reading.