You can't be dead
I know where you are
is another universe
but you're not dead
You weren't able to come back
That's all
If you had the chance you would have
If you have the chance you would be here
-x-
I know you're hurting there
as I am hurting here
And someday maybe we can be together again
-x-
Or do I know that you're alive?
All I know is that the portal closed
How can I know that you are actually dead?
-x-
And isn't this more painful?
Not knowing if you are dead
or alive trying your way back to me
as I try my way back to you?
-x-
I descend into this madness
If it's not madness, it's not love, right?
We may be calm, we may be normal
But when it comes to you, I don't do normal for you
I go all out, I'm all in, I'm here for the long haul
-x-
This is why if you're not here
I'd rather be not here too
But I can't forget you
I want to, I need to, but that is a difficult thing
So I need to make difficult choices too
-x-
Know that I chose to forget you so I can move on
The pain is killing me
I'd rather be dead, honestly
But I don't know why I choose not to die yet
Maybe because I know you don't want that for me
-x-
In honor of you, I will live my life
But it has to be a life without our memories
-x-
I drink this now and say, "I do."