So there are a couple of twists in this story. I feel like where I'm taking this story will be quite unpopular but I'm just going to go with it anyway. If I'm being honest, I'm quite unhappy with this chapter but I hope you enjoy it anyway.
"I think she's waking up." I hear a familiar voice say loudly as I slowly open my eyes and adjust to my surroundings, seeing the small white hospital room I'm enclosed in.
"Nick?"
"I'm here, don't worry. You're okay." Nick helps me to sit up slowly against the pillows as I lie on the hospital bed.
"What happened?" I ask him, rubbing my head attempting to soothe the pain radiating from it.
"You fainted." He explains to me.
"What am I doing here?"
Before he even gets a chance to answer, a doctor enters the room as she looks at the clipboard in her hand.
"Mrs Connor, I'm Doctor Matthews. We've just received your blood work and we have managed to work out the reason of your dizziness." She walks round to the opposite side of my hospital bed to Nick.
"Stress?" I ask, expectantly.
"Not stress." She says mysteriously which just leaves me worried.
"What is it then?" I ask, the concern across both Nick's face and mine obvious.
"Don't worry, it's nothing bad. You're pregnant!" She says excitedly as I feel completely speechless, unable to say anything.
Luckily, Nick manages to salvage the words that I've been desperate to speak.
"It seems she's around two months. Congratulations!" She says chirping before exiting the room.
I look to Nick as a smile is spread across his face. I'm two months pregnant, it's his. It's too long to be Roberts.
"Wow." I say, leaning back, attempting to get my head around what I'd just heard.
I was thinking all kinds of things in my head. I was wondering if I was ill, whether it was life threatening. And yet, I don't feel relieved.
I don't have the smile that Nick has. I don't feel the relieved feeling that Nick has. I don't want this baby like Nick does.
"I can't believe it." He says, taking hold of my hand as he runs his fingers over mine.
"Me neither." I say, putting on a small smile.
"In less than a year, we are going to be parents." He tells me, still playing with my hand. I can see the joy in his face, the excitement, the hope.
I just can't bring myself to ruin it for him.
"Yeah." I end up replying, distantly as he leans over to hug me and I put on a smile.
I can't bring myself to tell him. I don't want this baby. When I lost my baby girl, it hurt, so much and I thought I'd never recover from that because I loved her. I still do love her.
But now, I don't feel anything.
It may be Nick's baby but it isn't mine. Maybe biologically but I don't feel love for it, I don't feel anything at all for it.
It's like it isn't there.
As I look up at Nick lying on the bed next to me while stroking my hair, I can see how happy he is.
All I can imagine is how crushed he'd be if he found out. If he found out about Robert. If he found out about my true feelings.
I can't lose him.
I just know I don't have a choice. I need to just keep my mouth shut and hope for the best, for Nick's sake.
Thank you for reading. I'd really appreciate it if you could leave review if you have the time? Thank you for all the lovely ones so far! There will be more on Carla's feelings towards the pregnancy and Robert and Jamie so hopefully you will like what is to come.