SATELLITE BATTLES

Crown Galactic Princess Aisha panted heavily, scurrying down the white corridors of the Graveyard, the largest battleship of the entire Dark Rebellion. She grit her teeth as she recalled the way her guardians were brutally slaughtered by the gas-masked forces of the leader of the Dark Rebellion, Darth Moeder Eve.

They had relentlessly fired beams of light into her companions, instantly frying them, but thankfully their aim was terrible enough to miss her completely, not even singing the hem of her purple dress.

That, and she is a main character. Main characters never die this early in the story.

Shaking her head to clear away unnecessary thoughts, Aisha gasped, running into a sliding door, the keypad shining at her mockingly. Dammit! If only she had a laser gun! Then she'd be able to shoot the keypad, and even though it doesn't substitute for the correct combination nor does it actually break the locking mechanism, it would force the door to open for her regardless!

As footsteps drew closer, Aisha trembled. No, she would not die here today. She would go down with a fight.

Slow claps drew her closer to her doom. "Eve," she said flatly, turning to face her would-be-murderer. Even if Aisha towered over the petite silverette by a good couple inches, the smaller woman still managed to look down on everyone, instilling fear with every glance. Probably because Eve was teetering on six-inch stilettos. And a footstool. Two footstools, actually. "You should speed up your clapping if you wish to sound like anything but an idiot, Dark Moeder."

Eve scoffed, dramatically flipping her hair over her shoulder, her goons running up behind her, slightly out of breath. "I am clapping slowly to emphasize your failure, Princess. Or should I say, ex-Princess. Black Crows, it's execution time!"

More of the Black Crows arrived, raising their weapons in perfect unison. No! She couldn't die here!

"Princess!"

Suddenly a beam of light washed over her, her fingers and toes beginning to tingle.

"No!" Eve shouted ardently, reaching out but making no actual move to retrieve the escaping Princess. "She's being beamed out! Someone stop her!"

No one moved.

Closing her eyes, Aisha felt familiar arms wrap around her waist. Reopening them, she welcomed the familiar sight of the Exitprise, first ship of the Royal Ruben Division.

"Captain Elsword," she breathed out, wrapping her arms around her redheaded saviour. "I knew you would make it in time."

Elsword smiled, stroking her hair gently. "I told you I would."

Raven, first mate and second-in-command, cleared his throat. "Captain. We've received a transmission from the King."

Disentangling himself from Aisha, Elsword took his place in the captain's seat. "Put it on screen, Add."

Add, the weapons expert, nodded, pressing several buttons, each making its own noise. "Transmission in progress, Captain."

The screen at the front of the Exitprise flickered to life, the King's face suddenly appearing. He was old and kind, many wrinkles marring his once-handsome features. "Captain Elsword," he said, his voice a low rumble in his chest. "I see you've saved my daughter after her convoy was attacked. Thank you. But we have more pressing matters for you to attend to. You see, Darth Moeder Eve is about to make a move. She plans..."

"...to turn the entire galaxy into one giant game of marbles!"

Eve cackled evilly, hands in the air and head thrown back. "We shall suck all the water out of the planet known as Elrios, place it into a giant container, and release it back into the planet! Then, the force will displace the planet and cause it to crash into the next one, then the next, and the next, in a chain reaction!" She cackled again. "Nothing can ruin this master plan!"

Physics be damned and all.

"Can you see it, Black Crow #343? The entire galaxy in a beautiful disarray, and all because of me!" She cackled once more. Black Crow #343 nodded solemnly, politely ignoring the fact that he was actually Black Crow #344.

Aisha gasped. "How horrible! We must stop Darth Moeder Eve's plan to destroy the galaxy!"

Elsword nodded. "We'll do it, King. End transmission." The king's face disappeared as Elsword turned to Add, his face schooled into one of complete seriousness. "Add, beam me down to the Graveyard."

Add nodded. "Beaming down in progress, Captain."

Materializing on the inner deck of the Graveyard, Elsword was faced with hundreds of laser guns pointed in his direction. "Fool," Eve hissed, her arms crossed. "Did you not think that I would anticipate your attack?" Here she snickered. "You've foiled my plans one too many times, Captain Elsword. The removal of the water from Elrios is almost complete! Now, watch as your home planet is destroyed!"

Elsword's eyes widened in fear as the last of Elrios's water was sucked up in a giant vacuum, conveniently ignoring the fact that the removal of all the water was way too quick, as well as several other plot holes that would otherwise be questioned (if not for the fact that, in outer space, they could be written off as the capabilities of futuristic technology).

"Ha!" Eve shrieked gleefully, arms waving in the air. "The Dark Rebellion has finally succeeded! Black Crow #343, hit the button!"

Nothing.

"Black Crow #343?"

Suddenly, a purple-haired figure swooped down, slamming a thick book over Eve's head. Eve crumpled to the ground, eyes rolling to the back of her head. Aisha stood overtop of her, breathing heavily. "That's what you get!"

The Black Crows surrounding Elsword began to panic.

"What do we do now?! Darth Moeder has been incapacitated! Run around like a headless space chicken!" They started running in circles, arms flailing and weapons firing at random.

"I'm just running in circles because everyone else is!" One of them screamed, tripping and falling flat on his face.

Elsword darted over to Aisha, tugging her out of the panicked Black Crows' path. "Thanks, Princess. Now let's release all the water!"

The duo ran to a large control panel, dodging several of Eve's goons along the way. Skidding to a halt, Elsword crowed triumphantly. "We can save the galaxy by simply pressing one specific button! Piece of cake!" He glanced at the control panel. It was covered in flashing buttons; large, small, round, square, you name it. "Cake made out of needles, that is."

Aisha pointed to a large red button. "This one!"

Elsword gaped at her. "No way! It's never the red button. It's probably this one..." He hit a random button, wincing as a siren flared up and a robotic voice rang up, lights flashing red.

"SELF DESTRUCT IN T-10 MINUTES."

Elsword furrowed his eyebrows. "Okay, not that one. This one?" Upon hitting the buttons, the sirens blared louder.

"SELF DESTRUCT IN T-10 SECONDS. 9. 8. 7."

Aisha stared at Elsword, wide-eyed. "Good one, dweeb! Now we're all going to die!"

Elsword put his hands up to defend himself valiantly. "Hey! There are way too many buttons!"

Aisha rolled her eyes, slamming her hand on the red button before Elsword could stop her. The sirens stopped, the lights returning to normal. The robotic voice rang out once more.

"SELF-DESTRUCT HALTED. RETURNING ALL WATER TO ELRIOS."

"Damn," Elsword swore quietly. "That computer really knows everything." He turned to Aisha. "Speaking of which, how did you know that it was the red button?"

Aisha deadpanned, an eyebrow raised sarcastically. "I helped design the ship, dweeb."

And so, the world of Elrios was once again saved by the dashing Captain Elsword and the lovely Princess Aisha, who flew off to explore the expanse of space in the Exitprise, awaiting the adventures and glory to come with bated breath.

- END -

The portal trembled, shivering like a leaf about to be blown away by the breeze. Glave chuckled, eye glinting with something unknown and dangerous.

"A fitting end for such a tale, really. Hmph." With a wave of his hands, the portal crumbled, blowing away in an invisible breeze. Glave strode forwards, the light around him following his every step - a spotlight of sorts. Bending down, Glave picked up a small cube that was left behind, inspecting it carefully and nodding in satisfaction at the small stars that twinkled within.

"A token from their world," he said, almost an afterthought, golden eye boring into the depths surrounding him. "But that is not the story for now. The story you are looking for, ladies and gentlemen, is this."

With those words, he crushed his second cube, scattering its remains to form the next vortex of swirling mist. Upon clearing, a new sight sprang to life - sterile white beds all lined up in a row, the smell of disinfectant and cleanliness wafting through the window to another world delicately.

A hospital room.

"Let the show begin."

[A/N:]

Had too much fun writing this. Seriously.