I do not own Naruto.

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Let's see. Where was I? Oh yes. The Intervention. At least that's what they were calling it. It seems my choice of literature had set them off. So they came up with a plan to...

(Shimmering fade to flashback)

"What do you suggest?" Sakura asked from the wooden target post on the training field. She'd taken one as her seat when they'd moved from the crowded main streets to the much more secluded training area. She swung her booted feet, occasionally hitting Shino in the head. He'd have moved but Akamaru was sitting on him.

"Well. First off we need to consider slowly easing Kakashi into a more conventional from of male entertainment. Since he seems to enjoy the more 'romantic' side of his fantasy, maybe we could come up with some books that have a decidedly more adult content to them." Shikamaru lectured to the group. "We all need to go looking. I know some of you don't read but you can ask around. See who the good authors are. Come up with some suggestion. The rest of us can look through our own collections and see what we come up with."

Kiba scratched behind his neck and twisted his nose this way and that. "Why not just give him some porn?"

There was a collective groan from the group before Ino smacked him on the back of the head.

"No good," Shikamaru explained. "This has to be slow. If we hit him too hard and too fast he'll run. We have to lure him in. Once we've achieved this then we move to more aggressive measures."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Ino jumped up and dropped a hand on Sakura's shoulder. "Come on, girl. Lets go dig up the smut."

"I'm on it." Sakura cheered and both girls headed out.

Shikamaru yelled at their retreating backs as the others slowly go to their feet. "We meet back here in one hour!"

Sakura and Ino tossed a wave his way and the group dispersed to find suitable material for the first phase of the plan.

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The pile of books was as tall as the target posts. Everyone eyed them as they waited for Shikamaru to go through them. He picked up the first book and started to skim the contents. After a moment he looked up at Sakura and nodded.

"This might work. It's still a little romancey but the action takes some of the fluff out. Plus the sex scenes are pretty hot." He picked up the other three Sherrilyn Kenyon books and put them in a pile. "This is the day one delivery pile. We're going to spend the next three day's delivering a set of books to Kakashi's home. We'll start with the lighter stuff and work him up to more graphic details."

Everyone looked at the pile of books and wondered what the shadow-nin had brought that would qualify as "graphic details".

He lifted the next book and leafed through it. When he looked up he blinked. "Shino. This is Yaoi."

Shino nodded sagely but didn't say anything. Kiba fell over causing Ino to groan and Akamaru to whine. Shikamaru just whistled and turned to put the book in a pile.

"We'll just put this one in the 'emergency' pile." He shook his head at Shino one last time before picking up another book.

As Shikamaru read, Naruto leaned over and tapped Shino's knee.

"Hey Shino? What makes you think Genma is gay?"

Sakura and Hinata groaned as the bug-nin turned in the general direction of Naruto. His high collar moved as he spoke. "Since you're obviously on innocent about the ways of men, women and sexual nature, Naruto, I'll simply state the facts."

Naruto huffed and crossed him arms. "Yeah, yeah, so spill already!"

Shino nodded. "As I was saying, it's obvious he's gay for several different reasons. One, he dates a large number of women but no more than once. Two, he spends as much free time as possible with a few specific peers, all of the same gender. Three, he is carefully groomed and meticulously clean even on missions. And Four, he is never seen without a senbon in his mouth, an obvious phallic symbol he uses to assuage his oral fixation."

Naruto stared, shocked at the bug boy. "You have spent waaaaaaaaay too much time thinking about that." He moved back into his place in the line of teens and leaned back against the target post, eying Shino warily while Sakura attempted speaking through the fish mouth she was making. Hinata blushed furiously and Ino beat Kiba on the back with more force than was necessary to stop the coughing fit he'd fallen into.

Shikamaru cleared his throat and eyed Kiba as the coughing subsided into pained groans. "Kiba? Where did you find this?"

Kiba looked at the book in question and shrugged. "It was in Hana's bookcase. I figured it should be worth something."

The shadow-nin shuddered as he took one last look at the book in his hands and its companions. The Black Jewel Trilogy was most definitely NOT what they were looking for. He tossed it in the reject pile. Then moved on to the next.

The sounds of a loud male followed by running feet had all of their heads turning as Lee came running down the hill backwards with a flustered TenTen at his toes.

"Lee you idiot! Turn around before you fall one your ass!" TenTen screamed, slowing as she spotted the group at the practice grounds. "Oiy, Sakura!" She called, since the pink haired girl was the only one she could see clearly.

"Sakura? My Lotus Blossom?" Lee turned in mid run and tripped over his own feet. He landed face first in front of the plotting group and slid an inch or two before coming to a stop with dirt up to his nose.

"Hi, Lee." Naruto said, cheerily. Everyone else mumbled a bewildered hello before returning their attention to Shikamaru.

TenTen reached down and pulled Lee up my the back of his green tights. "So, what are you guys doing out here?" She said patting Lee on the back to help him cough up the dirt.

Ino looked over her shoulder and said tonelessly, "Kakashi reads romance novels."

"Wha..." TenTen's eye started to twitch. "But... I thought it was porn?" She looked to the rest of the group. They all shook their heads in shamed silence.

Lee, having cleared the dirt from his mouth, if not his face, added with flowing gestures, "Romance is a noble art! To put the beauty of youth into words on paper is a gift! Kakashi is a wise man to read the words of youthful flowering beauty!"

Naruto blew out a puff of air. "It's hard to take you seriously, Lee, when you're wearing a mud-stash."

Lee looked confused for a moment before glancing at the pile of books in front of Shikamaru. "What are these?"

Shikamaru looked up from the book in his hand and smiled benignly at Lee. "Specialized Romantic Text." Everyones head shot in the direction of Shikamaru as he lifted a book from the bottom and handed it to Lee. "Why don't you take a look at this one? I'm sure you'll find it full of youth and beauty."

Lee gleefully took the book and dropped cross legged on the ground in front of the group. Kiba leaned forward and peered at the book in Lee's hand then turned to Ino. "What's The Kama Sutra?"

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An hour later TenTen had been brought up on the details of the plan. She'd been more than willing to help out with this stage and all others. Shikamaru had FINALLY gotten through enough of the Anita Blake series to pick which books would be useful and found that the Merry Gentry series would also be helpful. He put some in the day two stack and a few others in the day three, then picked up the last book.

Lee was still sitting in front of the group. Over the course of the hour he'd grown more and more quiet. And though the group was delighted of the silence, they had started to worry. That is until Lee had lifted his head enough to move his bangs and show a glazed over smile with drool dripping from the side. At the moment TenTen was sitting next to him with a clothe and wiping at the drool that continued to fall as he flipped back and forth between a set of five pages that were covered in drawings. Naruto had looked over his shoulder once, blinked a few times then sat back as if contemplating. No one wanted to ask what.

It was at that moment that Shikamaru choked and looked up at Hinata. "Where did you find this book?" He asked in stunned disbelief.

Hinata blushed bright red and stammered. "I-i-it was in t-the li-libr- library?" she finished on a squeak.

Shikamaru flipped back to the front of the book and looked down, all the color draining from his face. "Then why does it say 'from the private desk of Hyuuga Hinata'?" He looked a little ill and now everyone was looking at the book.

Kiba took matters into his own hands and snatched the book from Shikamaru's grasp. "Who's Morgan Hawke... WHOA!!!" He flipped through a few pages and then a few more. Each stop widened his eyes even more. "Hinata? You READ this?"

She was still red but sniffed as she turned away from the stares. "I find her b-books hi-hi-highly entertaining."

The shadow-nin blinked as if he'd never seen her before. "I'll just bet you do."

There was a moment of silence finally broken by Naruto jumping to his feet and stretching.

"So," he chimed as he bounced a few times in place. "Where's the first batch to go? Kakashi's due back tonight, so we'd better get them to his door before he gets in."

"Agreed." Shino intoned.

Everyone but Lee and Kiba nodded, both having their head stuck in a book.

"Alright. Ino can take the books up now. Leave them at the door for him. Make it look like a normal delivery." Ino nodded and lifted the small pile of books. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Operation Intervention is now underway. We meet back here three days from now to start phase two. Lets move." Shikamaru leapt for the trees as the others made their way off the training field, Sakura helping Ino with the books.

And as the sun set, two lone figures could be seen, one against each post, sweat dropping from their brows and blood running from their noses.

"And to think," Kiba murmured to a drowsy Akamaru as he turned another page, "I never even LIKED reading."

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Hope this wets everyones appetite. As always, please read and review.