3: About Mary and Matthew (1x07; 2x03; 2CS)

"You must be happy now, aren't you, Lady Rosamund?"

Rosamund quickly averted her eyes from the now more and more distant figure of her mother and then turned around to face the new arrived, with confusion written all over the face. Honestly, she couldn't tell what was worrying her more, if the man's cold tone or the simple fact that he had just called by her title. When they were far from other people's ears, that was actually very unusual – at least after they had started to develope a friendship, especially after her apparently casual stops at the hospital whenever she was in Downton and the visits he payed her when he was the one being in London instead.

"Richard, what are you talking about?"

"Lady Mary and Mr Crawley" he simply replied. "I found myself in the misdt of a conversation between Mrs Crawley and Lady Violet before and, although I'm usually not interested at all in gossip, I couldn't help but make an exception this time since you were the protagonist of it…"

She swallowed and widened her eyes a bit more, with the bad sensation of having been caught redhanded. Everyone had already blamed her for the unhappy ending of Mary and Matthew's story, but yet somehow Doctor Clarkson was now revealing to be the most feared judge of all.

"How so?" she asked, not fast enough, trying to sound genuinely innocent but sounding extremely fake even in her own mind.

"Well, I haven't fully understood what happened between the two actually, but what I perfectly understood instead is that you had a big part in it. Apparently, you convinced Lady Mary that she wouldn't have been happy with marrying a mere countryside lawyer. Can you tell me this is not true?"

She closed her eyes for a long moment, and when she looked at him again she opened her mouth to say something, only to end up sighing in frustration instead. Because she really felt the need to defend herself, but she just didn't know how. Her way of thinking was causing her trouble with others once again and this time, for the first time, she was truly feeling ashamed of it.

"Of course you can't, because this is who you are" he continued after her prolungated silence. And now there was a small bitter smile playing under his moustache. "You are practical, sensible and I've always admired you for that… But I guess I just forgot what this actually means."

"This has nothing to do with me or what I think of you!"

His smile widened a bit more and the bitterness along with it. "Really? And why is that, maybe because a countryside doctor is better than a countryside lawyer?" He stopped and looked down, realizing to have said probably too much. He had never openly said which his intentions with her were and he had tried to avoid it so far, but now his sudden uncharacteristical bluntness in the matter was the only way he knew to show his upset. After all, he was a practical and sensible person as well. "But that's entirely my fault, my lady. I thought that there was something between us, I felt a very deep connection, but clearly I just misread the signs… I won't importune you again, then"

Even though he had always been quite guarded about his feelings, it was obvious from his look that he was suffering while pronouncing those words. His heart was breaking and hers was surprisingly breaking too. Had they really been courting for the past few months? Was their relationship something much more than mere friendship? Yes. But the answer was coming only in that moment, as well as the question in the first place.

"Richard, wait, please…"

But he had already tilted his hat in goodbye and was now walking away. He was leaving her and she couldn't blame him, she couldn't because she was the only one to blame once again. As minutes later, Robert's announce of the start of the war reached her ears, she exchanged a worried look with her mother, but then also let out an ironic smirk right after.

No battle had begun yet, but that day in that garden there had been many victims already.

"You don't like Miss Swire very much, do you?"

Rosamund raised her look from her glass and blinked in surprise for a few times, almost not believing her own eyes. It was almost three years since the infamous garden party and that was basically the first time Doctor Clarkson was speaking to her since then. There had been some formal greetings if they crossed path in the Abbey now that it was turned into a convalescent home, and also some quick glances during the lunch they had just had with General Strutt, but that was it. Instead, there could have been the chance of an actual conversation now and, just meeting his eyes, she felt that same connection he had talked about.

"I have nothing against her, she's a lovely sweet woman. Maybe it's just this. She's too sweet for my tastes – and for Matthew's too, I believe" she replied eventually, sipping a bit of whiskey, while trying to keep her normal composure.

Richard was somehow better at it, for he simply nodded slowly and then conceded her a small but yet kind smile. "One might think that you and Lady Violet are plotting against her in order to prefer Mary" he let her notice sounding even a bit amused now, even if that note in his voice lasted only a moment and soon faded into a thoughtfuland more serious curiosity. "Are you maybe trying to make amend of your mistakes and fix them?" he asked, nodding first at Mary and then at Matthew, currently standing in two different sides of the room.

"Maybe I'm trying to fix us too"

Richard looked back at her immediately as that courageous whisper escaped her mouth, only to find Rosamund already staring at him. Her look was courageous as well and he was the one being surprised this time. She looked so determined, she sounded so blunt and yet to his eyes she had never looked so ambiguous as in that very moment. What was that she wanted? She wanted to fix the two of them, but how and, most of all, why?

There were so many things he wanted to tell her, many things he wanted to ask her. Or maybe, he could have just made one step closer and pretend that nothing had ever happened. Because he knew what he wanted. But three years had passed and things were not fixed yet, so he kept silent and merely nodded, instead.

"I wish you good luck in that" he whispered back eventually, right before leaving her once again.

Other three years were passed, the war was over, a truce was made, but the actual peace treaty hadn't been signed yet.

It was the servants' ball and they had danced together more than once, both gaining the impression to be brought close once again; but then she suddenly disappeared with an enigmatic smile and without an explanation, like a Cinderella at the striking of midnight. She went to the library and that was where Richard found her some minutes later, giving him the back and keeping her look outside the window.

"Why would you choose to be here all alone? I thought you liked parties…" he said in a light tone to make his presence known, while approaching her.

Her whole body made a small startled move, but soon relaxed again and kept the position unchanged. "Were you looking for me?" she asked instead, sounding casual.

"Of course I was. You didn't realize you had lost your bracelet, did you?"

Rosamund finally moved her eyes away from the window, to look at her actually naked wrist at first and then at his full hand. Slowly raising her eyes to his face as last stop, she just moved her left arm toward him, silently asking him to put the jewel back at its original place. He did that, slowly and with slight hesitation, lingering on the unavoidable slight touch between their skins a bit longer than necessary, and trying not to break the contact between their eyes in the meanwhile. She was the one to look away in the end, but only to focus again on the window and, still silently, inviting him to do the same.

Snow, two close familiar figures and an unhoped passionate kiss who had taken seven long years to happen.

"Matthew just asked Mary to marry him and this time, she quickly said yes. So, they are fixed now… Can we be fixed too?"

"Yes, we can. We are" Richard replied surprisingly quickly, but he didn't stop at that reassurance. "However, there is still something I don't understand… What do you want from me, Rosamund?"

Their eyes met once again: his look was serious and more than just merely curious, but hers was guarded and almost fearful. "What do you want, Richard?" she chose to say after some moments, spinning the question.

She had probably expected him to have her same reaction, let the question drop or say something enigmatically, because that was what they both did when it came to feelings or matters of the heart. But he proved to be unpredictable once again, since this time he spoke and spoke clearly, even if it was clear by his tone that he was doing so more out of exhasperation than because he was actually feeling comfortable about it.

"I want you. I want to be with you and I want to marry you" he replied effortlessly, while the effort was instead all used for the purpose of not looking away. "But we are both practical people and so all of this does not matter, because none of what I have can be what you want. I don't have anything to offer you, except from quietness and a simple life…"

"And love?"

"Very much of it, actually" he said with a determined but yet painful nod. "I doubt this will be enough though, considering that…"

"It is enough" she interrupted him again, finally finding the courage to be blunt herself. She moved even closer and there was a genuine smile now on her lips. "Love is enough and I'm being very practical in saying that…" she continued, lowering her voice in just a whisper and ending it basically on his lips.

It was just a tentative brush of lips at first, but they soon deepen the contact, turning it into a more passionate, almost hungry kiss. It was as if they couldn't get away from each other and that was pretty understandable, considering what took for them to get at the point they were now. No one knew apart from them, but it had been seven years of waiting and hoping for them as well.

"I guess that is a yes?" Richard asked, as their lips finally parted.

"You haven't asked me any questions yet, actually…" she let him notice, with a small smirk.

He rolled his eyes playfully, but couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his mouth as he heard her laughing too. But he soon grew serious again, as he took her hands in his own and finally asked the proper question in the proper way. Rosamund said yes without anymore delaying and the new shared kiss confirmed that.

They looked at each other in silence and in that new finally happy look it was like time was actually stopping, just for them though. As the snow kept falling outside and the Ball kept going on downstairs.

So, this was basically a collage of different scenes. I thought it could be nice to use an early setting and also, Rosamund's meddling in Mary and Matthew's story was an interesting situation to use. Rewatching 1x07 and hearing her talking in a derogative way about "living in a cottage" and "countryside lawyer" was somehow hilarious, considering what I'm doing here with this collection. Oh, the irony!:)