Chapter 5

A/N: I shouldn't be updating this but I found that I had this chapter in my computer the whole time so I thought "why the hell not?" just don't get your hopes up I'm busy working on my Supernatural/Twilight crossover right now and chapter 6 was never finished.

And just thinking about him made me remember.

I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I hate remembering. I feel like I'm reliving it all over again. The memory is so burned into my brain that its hard not to feel like I'm reliving it.

~Flashback~

I was sitting on the floor in front of the couch while Tyler towel dried my hair. It had begun raining so much outside that we all came back in. But I was okay with that. I'm completely happy about this. This is like a fairytale come true.

"I can not believe…" I started but didn't want to finish that sentence. What if he thought I was being stupid? Or maybe he'd think I was in love with him when I'm not.

"What?" he asked.

I shook my head, "Never mind." I couldn't stop smiling. I was just too happy.

"What?" he asked with a smile in his voice.

I turned my head around to look at him, "Never mind."

He lightly started tickling me, "What?" he asked as he continued the tickling.

I laughed with no doubt an even bigger smile on my face, "Never mind," I repeated.

"Why? You can't just say never mind," I wasn't the only one that was happy. He stopped tickling me and I looked up at him with a smile. He had a serious smile on his face as he stared at me. "Let's go for a drive," he suggested.

I looked over to find Edward but he was no where in sight. I looked back at Tyler and smiled with a small nod, "Let's go," he said as we both stood up.

It wasn't raining outside anymore but the ground was wet. "Here let me give you a piggy back ride," he said as he bent down a bit so I could jump on his back.

It's not easy to do that with a skirt on though. I took my shoes off and held them in hand. I jumped up on his back and he grabbed the bottom of my thighs as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He started walking towards the cars in the driveway.

He was leading me towards his car. It was a jeep. "Maybe I should tell my friends," I told him. I didn't want Edward to go crazy looking for me.

"Tell your friends…you're with me," he told me but kept walking to the passenger side of his jeep.

He set me down on my feet once we got there, "You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," I told him as I straightened out my skirt.

He opened the passenger door and placed me on the seat. He leaned in and kissed me lightly. I kissed him back, happy to know that he liked me. He moved the seat so that it was all the way down and kissed over me. The kiss was getting deeper and more passionate.

But we were just making out. There's no harm in that. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back.

"Do you want to?" he asked in between a kiss.

What is he talking about? "Want to what?" I asked in between another kiss.

He got on top of me and deepened the kisses. My heart was beating quickly in my chest. I moved my head to the side to try to speak. He was holding my cheek as he tried to keep kissing me, "Maybe uh," he kissed the side of my lips.

I moved my lips away to try to speak again, "I should get back to my friends," you could hear the slight quiver in my voice from the fear that was rising up in my chest.

"Shh," he said softly as he continued kissing me. His hands were doing something where I couldn't see them. I wanted to see where his hands were but he kept kissing me.

That's when I noticed that my underwear wasn't where it was supposed to be, "No," I told him as I tried to move away.

He didn't listen. I tried to push him off me but he moved my hands away when they tried to hit him or move him aside, "Shh, stop," he told me.

That's when I felt it. I struggled underneath him as a small cry escaped my lips in fear. I tried to kick my legs out from under him but that only made him go deeper, "NO!" I cried out in pain as I struggled harder against him.

My screams were getting louder making him cover my mouth with his hand. I screamed for him to stop underneath his hand but it was stifled. I tried to pull his head away but it didn't work. So I started pounding on his back with my fist.

Other than the fact that I was getting raped, the only thing running through my mind was the fact that I should have stayed with my friends. I should have told them who I was with and where I was going. Someone could have come out here to look for me and save me.

Instead of the pain decreasing it was intensifying. The squirming and struggling was only making it worse but I couldn't just do anything. He was enjoying this. His face had nothing but pleasure on it. Did he even realize he was raping me? That I didn't want to do this?

I hit his face as he breathed heavily above me but he just moved his head away. My heart was pounding hard and loud in pain and fear. This wasn't even on my list of what we might do. Not even close.

~End of Flashback~

"Get off of me," I cried out.

"It's alright! Its okay! Bella!" I could hear my mother call out making me open my eyes.

My arms were up over my head as my mother stroked my cheek lightly. My breathing was fast and heavy. I was reliving it again. But this time as a dream.

"It's alright," my mother cooed. "You're alright now. Your okay. The boogeyman is gone." Boogeyman? Are you serous mother? "He went out that way," she said as she pointed her thumb towards my door. She is serious isn't she?

"Are you okay now?" she asked. Are you seriously asking me that? Do I look okay to you?

I shook my head at her a bit frustrated, "No," I said as I rested my head back on my pillow and tried to control my breathing.

"Aww honey," she said as she straightened her back out. She was sitting on my bed beside me still in her pajamas, "I know that it's been a rough year for you. I do."

Ugh I need to sit up. Lying down isn't taking the memory away. I sat up and leaned my weight on my palms behind me, "Why don't you go hang out with your friends more often?" she asked.

I looked at her slightly confused on why she cared now, "I'm just…I'm too busy with school work," I lied. I just wanted to be alone. Why doesn't anyone understand that?

"Well what about you and Edward? I thought you guys would have patched things up by now," she said with sympathy.

I just stayed quiet and looked away. "You know some people just…suck." Suck? That's the best word you could come up with? "Bells you have got to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get on with it." Why does she talk to me like I'm a five year old? "You're not even going to remember this in five years," I doubt I will mother. "I swear," she said as she lifted her crossed fingers in the air. I wouldn't swear on something you can't keep.

I couldn't stop looking at her in utter shock and disbelief. But she didn't seem to notice. She tucked my hair behind my ears and smiled, "I'm going to get home early today. We can rent a movie," she said as she cocked her head to a side. "Yeah?" she asked as she stroked my cheek. Okay just because I had a nightmare…doesn't mean I'm a child.

She leaned in and kissed my cheek lightly before getting up and leaving. I can't believe she just said all that. Why does she even care now? What did she barely open her eyes and realize that there's something wrong with her daughter?

Today's career day. The multipurpose room was quiet as everyone took the test that would tell you what career to choose. I myself was having trouble with it already. I was sitting next to some kid I didn't know and just staring off at the wall in front of me.

How do these tests even help? What if everyone lies on them? It's like taking a personality quiz. Some people can just pick the answers that sound good because they want to believe they're good. What's the point if you don't actually find out what your personality is?

I looked over to find my friends were busy answering the questions. They all wanted to know what they got. And a couple of them already knew what they wanted to be. I looked back down at my paper and read the question again. Am I: A. a helper, B. a doer, C. a planner, or D. a dreamer?

What if I don't know what I am? Or what if I'm not any of these? I looked over at Edward just in time to find him turn around to look at me. He didn't smile or anything. He just stared at me for while before turning back to his paper. I pursed my lips and nodded slowly before answering the stupid questions.

Another boring day in English class. Hair woman wrote the word symbolism on the chalk board before turning to the class.

"Every word Hawthorn wrote. Every comma, every paragraph break, these were done on purpose," she was happy about this? Why would you be happy about something like that? "It's our job to try and figure out what he's really trying to say."

Why couldn't he just say what he meant? Would they pin a scarlet letter on his chest? S for straightforward.

"The house with the chunks of glass in its walls is a symbol of what?" she asked. No one answered. "Um perhaps it would reflect? S-sparkle?" Why did she become a teacher if she was so afraid to speak in front of a class? Why not just be a tutor or a homeschooled teacher?

Why won't she just give up?

"Oh come on people the house symbolizes…?" she trailed off.

Jessica raised her hand from beside me. I looked at her confused. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know what it means.

"Yes Jessica?"

"How do you know that's what he meant? You could have just made all that up," she said a bit rudely.

"Hawthorn is a great novelist and not that it makes any difference but I wrote my dissertation on Hawthorn," wow she's obsessed with this guy. She looked like she wanted to cry.

"Fine but I thought we were supposed have opinions here and…I mean it's a good story especially when Hester and that guy fall in love but I don't really believe in symbolism," she seemed like she wanted to be nicer. "You can just make all that up."

"Class I want you all to write a 500 hundred word essay on symbolism and then…" Poor hair woman. "Turn it in," she said before grabbing her glasses and sitting down. I hope there's a conference or something. I'm ready to help pay for a sub.

A/N: So what do you guys think? For those of you that have seen the movie I'm sorry I'm not adding much change to it but I'm hoping to add more change later. Particularly with Edward in the story. :)

Thanks for reading! Please Review!