Don't own Naruto. This surprises no one. Just a note to the readers. I'm not sure if I have stated it but Kakashi has been untied. Since it was obvious he wasn't going to leave. If I didn't make that clear, I'm sorry. May I die a thousand deaths at Hidans hands. On second thought, I really don't want to die that way. Never mind.
"Should have told them you have a girlfriend?" Temari ground out from clenched teeth.
"She was molesting me!" Shikamaru yelled uncharacteristically as he pointed at an unconcerned Sakura.
"Is that right?" Temari replied while Kankuro whistled low and smiled.
"You are so dead." The puppeteer said, grinning widely.
"Shut up, Kankuro!" His sister yelled then turned her attention back to her wayward boyfriend. Or should she say EX.
"Really, Mari! It's not what you think. See. Her clothes are still on and everything." Shikamaru explained a little nervously.
"Yes. I see. And how is it that she managed to get yours off? I'm sure that you put up one hell of a fight. You are, after all, a genius are you not?"
Snickering could be heard from behind the livid wind princess as her brother tried not to laugh out loud. The others simply looked everywhere but at her. All except Choji and Ino.
"He said he had a girlfriend. He never said who. At least not until Sakura had him nearly naked. He sure as hell didn't say anything when the three of us had him on the floor earlier." Ino grumbled.
Shikamaru looked sick. Sakura picked at her nails. Choji just nodded sagely. Sasuke and Kakashi were paying far too much attention to the credits on the now ended sixth movie. TenTen twiddled her thumbs while Neji snored. Lee began to cry at the site of Sakura with a naked Shikamaru. Kiba simply whistled a happy tune and stayed out of the way.
"Three?" The wind princess all but growled.
"Uh..." Shikamaru sunk a little farther into the sheets and a little more behind Sakura.
Kankuro sputtered at the sight and lost all control. He dropped to the floor in a fit of laughter, pulling his hood off to wipe at his weeping eyes.
"Three." Temari, having regained a little composure, said thoughtfully.
"To give him credit, he really did say no." Choji informed. "But he didn't fight very hard."
Ino, Kiba, Sakura, and TenTen all gaped at him.
"What?" Choji looked hurt. "He was wrong. He should have put up more of a fight or at least told you about Temari. It's not right. All he ever does is complain. He should treat her better."
There was silence then a collective sigh from all the girls. Kiba, Shikamaru and now even Kankuro still looked horrified.
"That's not right. You don't throw your best friend to the wolves like that." Kankuro muttered.
"You did." Temari shot back at him.
"I didn't throw him to the wolves. I threw him to Gaara." Kankuro groused, folding his arms over his broad chest. "And he was sleeping with my girlfriend at the time."
"You don't say." His sister smiled sinisterly at the man and woman still seated on the sleep mat.
"Now, Mari? Think about this. It's obvious nothing has happened. Two people can't have sex when one isn't even undressed and..." Shikamaru started only to be interrupted.
"Actually, that's not true." Kiba cut in. "According to what Naruto told me, you can do a lot when one person is completely dressed.
Shikamaru, visions of sand coffins dancing in his head, regarded Kiba with murderous intent while Sakura shrugged and went back to picking at her nails, all the while keeping an eye on Temari. The woman in question simply looked around the room in deep if dangerous thought. When she smiled more than one person cringed.
"No, no. I won't give him to Gaara." Kankuro brightened up considerably. "Or to Kankuro." Then looked completely crestfallen.
"Awe, Temari. Can't I rough him up just a little?" The puppeteer whined.
"No. I guess I can understand being lonely without your girlfriend around to keep you occupied." She said with false understanding.
Most everyone started to relax, except Shikamaru.
"Baby?" Shikamaru frowned at her syrupy tone. "If you could choose one guy in this room for a girl to have a good time with, besides yourself of course, who would it be?"
The shadow wielder looked stricken as he hung his head in what could only be described as shame.
"So!" Kakashi jumped up into the sudden silence and walked to the dvd player. "Who's up for the next exciting chapter of Kyuubi Dreams?"
No one seemed to be listening until he caught sight of Kankuros face. It flushed moments before he looked up in terror at his sister. Seeing that she either hadn't heard or wasn't paying attention he sent a pleading look toward the copy-nin. Kakashi shrugged and with an eye crease, put in the seventh movie.
"Shika? Baby?" Temari's eyes gleamed with a suppressed urge to commit mass murder.
Shikamaru's calculating eyes were settled into a somber face as he lifted his them to the sand kunoichi. His gaze drifted over the room, taking in each male sitting within reach. He thanked the Hokage that Naruto was otherwise occupied. Running his options in a moment he gave his girlfriend a pleading look and answered in his most sincere and downtrodden voice.
"Is this really necessary?" One last try for reasoning though he knew it wouldn't work.
"Are you going to answer my question or should I ask someone else?"
The seventh movie started and all eyes turned to the screen to avoid the very uncomfortable atmosphere being produced by the two lovers. All except Sakura, who was busy writing notes in her notebook again, and Lee, who was busy blowing his nose on a matted hankie.
Shikamaru sighed and looked down at his hands clasped in his lap.
"Sasuke. I'd choose Sasuke." He mumbled.
Sakura blinked and started to open her mouth only to have Temari interrupt her with a snort.
"I don't think so." Shikamaru's head came up. "I've heard about him. He sucks in the sack. Not to mention his questionable relationship with that Orochimaru."
Sasuke, who'd turned to look at the blond with narrowed eyes, suddenly began to sputter as he stood and threw a finger in her face.
"I'll have you know, I kept my door locked the whole damn time I was there! He never laid a hand on me and if he had he'd have died a lot sooner! And Kabuto wouldn't have stood for it anyway! He was overprotective and jealous as hell! Not to mention the body the old man was using could barely be considered livable much less capable of any act of fornication!"
"Fornication. That's a big word for you." Kakashi grabbed his former student by the shirt collar and pulled him back into his seat. "Sit. Watch the movie. Learn something to help your reputation; not hurt it."
"Watch the teeth!" Narutos voice carried from the kitchen.
"And there he goes, AGAIN!!" Sasuke screamed only to slump in a moody lump to watch the next movies opening credits.
"Try again, Shika... baby." Temari glared across the room.
Kankuro was edging away from his insane sister and toward the kitchen. He noted Sakuras eyes were now following him instead of Temari.
"Alright." Shikamaru swallowed and looked over the room again. "What about Choji? Since he seems to think you should be treated better, why not let him try."
Chojis eyes widened and he spun in his seat to look at his best friend. "I've got a girl. I don't need yours. I just think you need to take a little more care in how you treat her. She's nice."
Kankuro choked then abruptly turned it into a grunting, coughing, wheezing sound.
"Sorry. Allergies. All the trees."
Temari rolled her eyes then settled them once more on the shadow-nin.
"I obviously can't trust you with this. Much like I can't trust you with a lot of things. I'm sure you said no but I doubt you made the effort to fight much. You're such a lazy bastard." She blinked several times.
Shikamaru, feeling cowed and desperate gave several glances toward the front of the apartment before rolling his eyes to the couch. He was thinking how much he wished Shino were here, not realizing he was staring straight at Kiba.
"Fang-boy it is." Temari whispered and turned her eyes from Shikamaru to size up Kiba.
Shikamaru put every effort into looking appalled and hurt. Inwardly he was cheering. 'Five Minute Man' would never be able to satisfy her. She'd be back in his arms, and bed, inside of a week.
o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0
A street side bench, just after sunup.
"So the wager is..." Kotetsu began.
"Odds are against Kakashi right now. Seems everyone thinks she won't go that route. Too much of a hassle." Izumo explained.
"So the high odds are on Konohamaru?" Kotetsu asked
"Looks like it." his companion replied.
Both men grinned at one another.
"Do we have any other contenders?" Izumo asked.
"Well, you're not going to believe this, but Genma put down Naruto Uzumaki!"
"You're kidding? What would he do that for?"
"I have no idea. Of course, he does seem to be right a lot."
Both men gave each other another long look then looked back to the bet book.
"Think we should let the Hokage in on this one?" Kotetsu asked.
"Hell no! The moment she finds out we have an underage Chuunin possibly being chased by a middle aged snake wielding Jounin we'll have a riot and a pile of rubble on our hands." Izumo warned. "Not to mention the fact that if she bets my way I'm bound to lose."
"Too true." Kotetsu closed the book and slipped it into his vest. "I, for one, am going the Kakashi route. If the rumors I've heard are true, it will be her only option."
"Rumors..." Izumo tossed his remaining breakfast in the bin and stood to follow his comrade. "What rumors?"
o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0
Kiba was a little stunned to find himself being pulled into the side room across from the bedroom. Why not the bedroom? Of course, Temari probably had no intention of doing anything. From the look on her face when she'd grabbed him and started for the door, he was pretty sure she was more hurt than angry. Great. He was back on damage control from his friends. Never a break for Kiba.
"Temari?" The door shut behind them and he was pushed into a long cushion on the floor next to a low table.
"Just shut up and take off your clothes." She growled.
Kiba blinked and reached for the hem of his shirt. "As much as I'd love to help you out in the vengeance department..." He paused as he pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it in his lap. "I don't think you really want to go this route."
She rounded on him as she let the tie to her yukata fall to the floor.
"You're absolutely right. I don't want to go this route. I'd like to walk into that room and disembowel three female kunoichi, then rip a certain shadow shinobi limb from limb. Possibly have a good cry afterwards before handing what's left of the quivering heap over to my extremely overprotective brothers for complete annihilation."
Kiba swallowed but gamely kept to the subject at hand. If she was upset enough to let slip she wanted to cry then maybe he could talk his way out of this. The thought that he'd been trying all night to talk his way into this entered his mind for a moment before slipping away with the rest of his wayward thoughts. He wasn't going to play with a comrades girl. That just wasn't right. And besides, he didn't want to be the center of attention when Gaara found out about this.
"That sounds like a good plan but a little... overkill don't you think?" He smiled wide.
She blinked at him then let her eyes roam over his chest. Nice definition. Thicker and broader than Shikamaru. Why hadn't one of the girls picked this one up?
"Somethings wrong with you isn't there." She stated blandly.
Kiba's jaw dropped before a belligerent look entered his eyes.
"Okay! FINE! My feet smell and I'm not that attentive a sex partner, but I'm trying here, damn it! I even got Naruto to give me some pointers and I'll get some fucking foot powder or something! Hell, I'll soak them in that peppermint crap Hana uses if I have to! Just someone... ANYONE, give me a break!"
o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0
Genma ushered Shino and his large pack into the apartment just as the screams from his private dinning room died down into fits of laughter. Both men looked at the door for a moment before shrugging and walking toward the living area. Dropping the pack inside the bedroom door.
"Hey, Naruto? You need any help in there?" Kankuro called from the kitchen entrance.
There was a low growl and a groan followed by a vehement "NO".
Genma narrowed his eyes toward the kitchen and stormed through the room, stepping over a smiling Shikamaru and a confused Ino.
"You'd better not be doing anything nasty on my kitchen counters, fox boy!"
"Nothing worse than what you've done on them I'm sure." Kakashi interjected as Genma bumped the back of his chair in his haste to reach the doorway.
Kankuro stepped back with a evil grin and raised eyebrows.
"They are not on the counters. At least, not at the moment."
Genma peered around the entrance and cursed rather inventively. Shino raised his brow and peeked around as well.
"I swear, I don't know how I'm going to explain this to your father." Genma spoke resigned.
"Oo ahnt av oo. Ah meoo." Naruto screamed and all the men backed out of the doorway.
"I see what you mean about talking with a full mouth." Shino said.
"I really didn't need to know that." Sasuke groused as she sunk a little lower in his chair. Kakashi patted him sympathetically on the back.
"And to think, the first time a fluffer tried to do that for you you ran from her." Kankuro chimed in, highly amused.
"Yes, I do. And I hope you thought about kids cause at the rate you two are going you'll have them before Hiashi even has a chance to decide whether to kill you or marry you off." He yelled as he gathered up Hinatas clothes. "Alright you two. Clothes on. You're done for the day... night... whatever. Naruto may not have anyone to answer two but I do." He tossed them into the kitchen. "I'll get something for you to wear." He called out to Naruto and headed for the bedroom.
"I'll help." Shino said lightly and followed after. Closing the door as he stepped into it.
"I'm never going to get those clothes." Naruto spoke as he stepped into the room in his boxers.
Hinata followed hoping as she pulled on the last leg of her pants.
"Doesn't look like it." Kankuro replied as he followed the line of Hinatas curves.
"Eyes off puppet boy." Naruto growled.
Kankuro raised both hands in placation.
"Can't blame a guy for looking, can you?"
"Yes, you can." Shikamaru groused from his seat on the floor propped against Nejis dangling leg. "At least your sister seems to think so."
At that moment a decidedly female moan came from the adjoining room. It was low at first but picked up in volume and pitch. Shikamaru frowned at the wall, picking at his newly donned clothes as Temaris voice carried through with more enthusiasm than it should have.
"Why is she moaning? There should be no moaning." The shadow shinobi complained.
"Well, generally people do moan when they are enjoying themselves." Sasuke cut in with only a little heat.
"But he's 'five-minute-man' which means she doesn't moan." Shikamaru continued.
"No one said she wouldn't enjoy the five minutes she got." Choji cut in as he pulled another bag of chips from his pockets.
Shikamaru turned narrowed eyes on him.
"You did. You said the girls called him that because he couldn't get them off."
"Yeah. But I never said they didn't enjoy what they got." Choji elaborated.
Meanwhile, Kankuros frown was turning toward a very bright grin as he listened to Temari wail in pleasure which caused the shadow brats face to go completely pale.
"Well, since me and Lee explained a few things to him, he should do a lot better. He just didn't understand about foreplay." Naruto explained as Lee nodded his head having gotten over Sakuras rejection now that another movie was on.
Kankuro choked and Hinata smacked him hard on the back a few times to help him out. Shikamaru looked stricken as Temaris moans died down only to pick up in volume and audibility.
"Hot DAMN! Your hands are... oh yeah... right there... alittle harder... oh... Oh...OHOHOH!!"
Shikamaru bounded from the floor and ran for the door.
"Temari? Temari! We should talk about this! This is no way to solve a problem! Temari?? TEMARI!!!"
Genma chose that moment to step, shirtless, from his bedroom. He pushed Shikamaru from the door and cracked it open to peek inside.
"Don't get anything on the table or the pillows. If you do, you pay for it." He shut the door and pushed Shikamaru back in front of it.
"Hey! Where are those clothes you promised me!" Naruto yelled after him.
Genma walked back into the bedroom. A moment later a pair of pants and a vest came flying through the door as it shut.
"Damn! That man has stamina!" Ino crowed.
Shikamaru dropped to the floor in front of the door and leaned against it looking pitiful. Temaris cries could be heard through the walls and each one made the shadow-nin wince.
Kankuro, however, was having the time of his life. He grinned from ear to ear at Shikamarus distress, completely missing the pink haired woman slow advancing in his direction. He was too busy trying to decide if he should tell them why Temari was making that much noise.
o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0
"So what's going on?" Shino asked from the closet.
"Nara's near tears on the other door. Neji's out. They started another movie. I think that's seven. I'm waiting to see what they think of that one." Genma grinned.
Shino raised a brow at that but continued to hang up clothes.
"Kankuro's in there laughing it up, probably at Shikamaru, but he needs to watch it. Sakura has that look in her eye. Hinata's finally dressed. We'll see how long that lasts."
Shino nodded and took another coat to hang. Genma grabbed a few shirts and started putting them in the chest at the foot of the bed.
"By the way, I've been meaning to ask you." Shino looked up with raised brows as Genma dropped the last of the shirts in the chest and turned to sit on it.
"Did you and Kiba really go at it with Hinata on the fifth training ground?"
Shino's face slackened in apparent shock then turned several shades of red.
"How did you find out about that?" He asked, turning his back on the other man.
"Kurenai." Genma replied trying not to laugh.
The moan Shino uttered was one of abject humiliation.
"She knows about that?"
Genma gave in and laughed.
"It's not funny, you know. We were suppose to be training but Kiba started goofing off as usual and Hinata started playing along and before I knew it they had me in the tussle too. I'm not even sure how it got from playground fight to... well. It just kinda happened. But it was just the once." He refused to turn and look at the jounin behind him. It was more than a little embarrassing to have been caught.
"What does it matter? I'm just glad MY team wasn't the only one to try it." Genma replied.
Shino slowly turned to look at him. Though it was hard to see what he was thinking with the glasses on.
"Well, I guess it's not so bad then." Shino sighed and moved to sit next to him on the chest.
"Nah. I was just curious why you hadn't been with any other girls." Genma pondered.
"Oh. Well, I kinda spent most of the time grabbing Kibas ass instead of Hinatas. Luckily he thought I was just being nervous and clumsy so he didn't pay any attention. At least, that's what I thought. Now I'm not so sure he isn't simply dense about these things."
Genma laughed again and draped an arm over Shinos shoulder. Shino smiled a little reached for a hanger to finish hanging the cloths.
"So. What's Shikamaru upset about?"
Genma looked toward the door, a little confusion clouding his features,
"I'm not sure, really. I stuck my head in there to tell them to keep off the furniture and Kiba was giving Temari a foot rub."
Gemna shrugged and lifted a few pairs of pants to put in with the shirts.
o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0
And so ends another exciting chapter. Hope you enjoy. Please review. If you've come this far you should have some opinion.
Also, I have a list of people for the last movie but if anyone wants a special cameo, let me know.