Sorry it's been a while. Lots of stuff to do. Not to mention a second birthday to plan. Hope you enjoy and I'll try not to get so behind next time.
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"Naruto?" Hinata asked from her perch on the short futon. "What's a fluffer?"
Kankuro sprayed sake onto the back of Sasukes hair. Ino and Kakashi cleared their throats for totally different reasons. Choji opened his mouth to answer the question only to have TenTen shove one of Kibas socks in it.
"Yes, Naruto. What is a fluffer? It sounds most youthful." Lee said as he turned toward the blond with obvious curiosity.
Naruto fidgeted in his seat next to the purple haired kunoichi and tried to come up with a suitable explanation that wouldn't get him beaten into the cushions. He looked toward Kankuro for inspiration only to find Sakura taking that moment to close in on the unsuspecting puppeteer. At least he'd seemed unsuspecting until he neatly moved from the end of the long futon and out of her reach without making so much as a signal he'd known she was coming. Shikamaru whimpered from the floor as Temari giggled from the other side of the door. He'd given up screaming for her to come out. Now he simply appeared to be trying not to cry.
"Ah Hinata! You don't need to know all that!" Naruto hedged, scratching behind his head.
"But Naruto," Lee called and the man is question wondered why he hadn't given in all the times the Kyuubi had begged him to kill the taijutsu master. "You are so knowledgeable in the ways of pleasure. You have already shared many of your secrets with us. Won't you spread the vision of youth in full bloom to all of us!?"
Kankuro rolled his eyes and dropped to the floor next to Neji's dangling leg, fresh sake in his cup.
"A fluffer is a person paid to give blowjobs to the actors so they can keep it up for their scenes." The puppeteer explained.
Naruto groaned as Hinatas eye went wide then narrowed. Lee blinked several times before looking down in his lap then back up at EVERY girl in the room.
"Know where I can find one?" Sasuke asked as he used the remains of Narutos tattered clothing to dry his hair.
A mildly musty soak went flying over Sasukes head as Choji choked it up. The larger ninja glared at TenTen who simply shrugged, then went back to eating his chips in sullen silence.
"oooohhh man... I ache all over...," mumbled a sluggishly moving Neji on the long futon.
"You okay, Hyuuga?" Kankuro asked as he took a good look at the man he'd previously ignored. "Looks like you lost a fight with a mountain lion." He studied the pattern of bruises on Nejis chest more closely then blinked his eyes a little wider. "Or maybe it was another kind of kitty."
"Wha..?" Neji, having finally sat up looked down at his bare chest in confusion then groaned with the return memories. "Oh Hell! I'd almost forgotten it. Why'd you have to remind me?"
Kankuro shrugged and took a pull from his cup while Sasuke scrubbed vigorously at his hair.
"So does that make Sakura a fluffer?" Hinata asked out of no where.
A whimpering laugh came from the hall as Shikamaru peeked around the corner.
"How can you read the stuff you read and not know what a fluffer is?" The depressed ninja asked.
Hinata glared at the wall as he returned to his solemn post in front of the door.
"It never came up in my books." She snapped.
Steam was rolling from Sakuras ears as she slowly changed course from the sand shinobi toward the Hyuuga heir. Everyone scooted just a little back from the possible blast zone except Naruto, who valiantly tried to put himself between Hinata and the pink haired time bomb.
"What makes you say that?" Kankuro asked, a little worried at the extremely high color in Sakuras face.
"W-well," Hinata stammered. "I-i just th-thought, since s-she gave N-n-neji a me-medicinal blowjob that m-maybe..."
Choji and Ino glance at one another then stared at Hinata with narrowed eyes. Kankuro, however, was too busy smiling widely at a nearly maroon Neji Hyuuga.
"Medicinal Blowjob?" He asked with more than a little perverse pleasure.
"I told her I could do it myself." Neji mumbled as he once more buried his face in his raised and tucked knees.
"Wait, wait…" Kankuro shifted in his seat on the floor to look at the blushing man. "You told her you could do it yourself? You were turning down a blowjob to take care of it yourself?" He waited for Neji to lift his head. "Are you gay?"
"NO!!!" Neji's head shot up. "I just… I didn't want… WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE??" He shot up out of the futon only to groan and drop back down and then groan again as his backside hit the wooden frame edge.
"Neji!" TenTen moved in and grabbed Nejis arm, making him wince, and tried to help him right himself. "Are you alright? Do you need something? Would you like to rest? I'm sure we can get Genma to let us use the bedroom since you're injured."
Neji paled and sunk deeper into the cushions.
"I don't think he wants to go to the bedroom." Kankuro supplied then turned back to watch as Naruto Ino and Choji attempted to calm a murder minded Sakura.
"Sakuraaaaa… You can't kill her. Her dad will want to know why. Do you want to explain to her father and the rest of the village why? That's not going to help your reputation." Ino explained calmly as she used her mind control jutsu to hold the pink haired hurricane in place.
Choji stood between Naruto and the pinned Sakura. He glanced back at Hinata a moment before turning back to the other women.
"Don't let her get to you. I think she's just being a little catty over lover boy back here."
"What?" Ino asked letting go of her prisoner.
Sakura thought about barreling over Choji to get to the bitch but decided against it. If she was just posturing for Naruto then what the hell. And it wasn't like she wanted to explain what happened with Neji to Hiashi Hyuuga. She doubted he'd understand. Though Tsunade would probably get a big laugh out of it.
"What? You didn't notice she only stutters when it gets her what she wants or gets her out of trouble." Choji turned and grinned at a now glaring Hinata. "I don't blame her. It's actually rather clever."
"Effective too." Neji said from his cowering perch on the couch. "I'd have considered it myself if I'd realized what she was doing earlier."
Hinata smiled from behind Narutos shoulder. "Thank you, Neji."
Ino rolled her eyes.
"Thanks for the cute, sweet, huggy moment but let's get back to... Naruto? Why are you laughing?"
The blond shinobi was starting to tear up as he attempted to hold in what promised to be a gale storm of laughter. Everyone looked around confused until the sound from the movie stopped and Kakashis snickering took its place.
"What so…. (snicker) Oh my…" TenTen blinked several more times before throwing a hand over her mouth.
There was a moment of light snickering then the entire room erupted in laughter. Kakashi actually fell out of his chair and rolled from side to side. Naruto was beyond words as he dropped backwards into a now blue faced Hinata trying to catch her breath. Ino was attempting to talk while Sakura simply gave in to the belly laugh she'd been holding in for the sake of her friend.
"I never… get tired of… that!" Naruto gasped between giggles.
"What the hell man?" Choji snorted with a smile.
Sasuke threw his hands over his head and glared at a smug Kankuro as the puppeteer dangled the remnant cloth in front of him.
"Bastard!" Sasuke yelped.
"I wish." Kankuro replied with a smile. "So this is why everyone is really so scared of you."
Sasukes hair, now free of Sake and styling products, stood out in a spiraling mess. What had once been smooth spikes as now a mass of kinky rolling curls. The effect turned the infamous Sasuke Uchiha into an adorable Gerber baby.
"It explains why Orochimaru was so interested." Genma added in a deep chuckle from the doorway while Shino stood next to him, his back turned and shoulders shaking violently.
"Oh that's just…." Ino couldn't finish.
"Shut the hell up! All of you! It's not like YOU don't have hair issues!" Sasuke sputtered violently.
"I cut my hair with a kunai and it still doesn't look that bad." Sakura interjected before choking once then bursting into laughter once more.
Naruto joined her as the two wallowed in their comrades' new found weakness.
"What the hell do you use that gets that nasty mess so straight?" Kankuro asked as he tossed the torn cloth over the Uchihas face.
"Whatever it is maybe Aburame could use it." Temari offered as she stepped over Shikamarus now sprawled form and walked into the room. Kiba looked down and offered the shadow shinobi a hand only to get a glare and a brush off as Shikamaru rolled to his feet and walked after Temari.
"Mari, I…" Shikamaru called as he followed behind her.
The room slowly began to quiet as everyone watched Temari walked over to Sakura and grabbed the back of her pink hair.
"Uh… Temari? As much as I understand where this is coming from I really don't think it's wise to murder the Hokages student." Her brother offered, cajoling.
Temari pulled Sakura up close to her face, sneering down as she stared into her so green eyes.
"Are we done?" The wind kunoichi asked in a deceptively mild tone.
Sakura stared her down but nodded once in the affirmative.
"Good." Temari dropped the other woman and turned to her wayward boyfriend. "Outside. Now." She headed for the door.
Shikamaru gave a defeated and dejected sigh and, head hung, followed her toward the hall. The bang of the door slamming was loud in the silent room. Every stayed completely still, listening for screaming or the signs of a fight. When nothing came Naruto looked toward Sasuke who had wrapped the rag around his hair.
"I haven't seen your hair like that since Kiba and I sneaked into your house and replaced all your tea with dried ivy leaves."
Kiba, who had been staring back at the retreating couple, now looked to Sasuke. Curls were exploding out from under the makeshift cover and Kiba snorted several times before regaining control.
"Oh Yeah! You were laying on the futon in the front room and your hair was EVERYWHERE!!"
Sasuke gave his best death glare and kicked Kakashi several times as the copy-nin tried to regain his seat.
"Don't take this out on me. I for one was happy to never know of your follicle woes." Kakashi said with as much composure as he could muster in the face of so much usable material.
"You really shouldn't worry about it, Sasuke. At least it has body. Roll it into a few sausage curls and all the men will fall at your feet." Choji declared as he munched on chips and drank his drink.
"What the… I'm not GAY!" Sasuke sputtered.
"Could have fooled me." Sakura mumbled under her breath as she slowly eased her way once more to the middle sand sibling.
Ino grabbed her teammates drink and sniffed. "You've been spiking your drinks again haven't you? I thought you were a little loose lipped today."
There was a knock at the door. Naruto jumped over the futon to hide behind it. Neji jumped up to answer while everyone had forgotten he was there. Genma and Shino moved to the side to let him pass.
"Well, I don't know about you but I think I'll continue with the movie. It was starting to get interesting." Kakashi carried on as he lifted the remote and hit play.
Everyone shrugged and settled into a seat. Kankuro moved to take Nejis spot and Sakura sidestepped Ino for the spot next to the puppeteer. Ino huffed and dropped down next to Choji taking sips of his spiked drink as he put it on the low table. Genma pulled Shino across the room and they both dropped onto the sleep mat, cuddling comfortably.
"I don't remember a lot about this one." Naruto said as he slid into place next to Hinata once more. "Do you Kankuro?"
The puppeteer looked up from his leg, where Sakura's head was now resting, and looked at the screen.
"No. Actually I don't. I remember 8 and 9. They were packed but this one…," he looked at the screen again and frowned.
"Temari in any of these?" Kiba asked from a spot at the wall, leaned against Akamaru.
"Hell No! And don't mention them either. She'd go on a killing spree if she knew I did this." Kankuro bellowed.
"What about Gaara?" Hinata asked no longer playing innocent. Naruto scowled at the question.
"The director was afraid it would turn into a snuff film." Kankuro answered conversationally.
"But I thought they took the demon out years ago?" Ino questioned.
Kankuro turned a bored face to her.
"Shukaku might have caused him to crack but that personality is all him. It's true what they say about redheads. He can go toe to toe with Temari in an argument. No one wanted to sleep with him on set." He shrugged and poked at Sakuras head to try and nudge it off his leg. "He wasn't too keen on the idea anyway. He only did it on a bet. Won, too."
"What did he win?" Kakashi asked eyeing the screen then sucked in a breath.
Everyones attention turned to the man walking out of a shack in the middle of a rain storm. A long lock of yellow hair fell over one eye and his long arms sported numerous scars. He was dressed only in loose pants and water ran in rivulets down his thin yet muscled chest.
"What the…." Kankuro stared, horrified at the image on the screen.
"Is that…" Sasuke asked as he leaned in closer.
"Deidara?" Naruto screamed as Neji walked back into the room.
"Guys? We have company." He said.
But no one looked up to see Shizune standing behind him.