And again, here we are. Don't own it. Enjoy.

Naruto sat up straight and pointed at the screen. "What's that freaky blond rat doing in this movie??"

Everyone was in varying stages of shock at the sight of the former Akatsuki member nearly bare on screen. His long blond hair waving in the breeze as he lowered one mouthed hand and ran it over the woman now tied at his feet.

"Where the hell did you guys get this movie?" Shizune asked as she stared in horror. "Tsunade's going to kill you!"

The stunned silence only continued.

The blond rolled his mouthed hand over the young supple skin of the quivering red head beneath him. "I won't hurt you, sweet. I only want to taste you." He said and lifted her from the rain soaked earth to move into the small shanty behind them. The door closed at his back and he lowered her to the makeshift straw pallet in front of an open fire. He began to slowly peel the wet clothes from her body as she whimpered.

"I'd be crying too if that guy touched me." Ino shuddered at the image.

"I can't believe Jiraiya did this?" Naruto whispered.

Everyone nodded.

"I thought he was dead?" Sasuke pouted.

"You know how these guys are. You can kill them but they just keep turning up everywhere." Choji offered.

"But I killed him four years ago." Sasuke continued to pout.

"Actually, he blew himself up four years ago." Shino corrected.

"Same thing." The Uchiha grouched. "It still doesn't explain why he's there."

"Like I said. They're like roaches. They just won't stay dead." Choji explained again.

"I swear, if that walking sushi bar shows up in this movie I'm going to be royally pissed." Neji said with a slight frown.

Shizune looked over her shoulder at the Hyuuga then looked back at the large group, noting Kakashis presence. "Again I ask, what are you doing with this movie? It's been band."

"We found it." Ino said in a strangled voice. "I'm getting visuals of what he does behind closed doors with those hands and it's not pretty."

The entire room shuddered.

"Can we fast forward or something. I think I'm going to puke." Naruto whispered, his face deathly pale.

"I'm in complete agreement." Kankuro said only a little less pale than his blond counterpart.

Kakashi lifted the remote and pressed the button. The movie went into high speed and soon Deidaras

scene was ended. There was a loud sigh from all but Shizune who was still fuming.

"If Tsunade finds out about this movie..." She started.

"She won't." Hinata cut in with a small smile.

"Like HELL she won't!" The Hokages assistant bellowed.

"Who's going to tell her?" Genma asked from the floor.

Shizune whipped around, mouth open to yell, only to stop short and groan.

"Genma, if you don't stop corrupting the youth of the village..."

"Hey! I just live here. I came home and the movie was already running. In fact, I think they were on three. So I've not corrupted any of them. Talk to the person that gave them the video." Genma cut in irritably.

Ino threw her hand over Choji's mouth before his drunken lips uttered exactly where the movies had come from.

"And what about him?" Shizune huffed as she pointed to Shino tucked between Genmas arms.

"He was already this way. Ask Anko." Genma grinned and Shino groaned.

"Fine, fine. But that still doesn't explain why...," Shizune stopped mid sentence as her eyes landed on a certain shinobi. "What's wrong with Lee?"

Heads turned toward the great green shinobi who's eyes were casting around the room now that his name had been called.

"He looks...harassed." TenTen said moving closer to her teammate.

Shizune fumed. "GENMA?!"

"It wasn't me! I've been with him the whole time." He pointed to the beet red bug nin cowering against his chest.

TenTen bent over Lee and touched his shoulder. "Lee, are you..."

"Fluffer?" Lees eyes were wide and shiny. His smile a little forced but no less bright. A muscle in his jaw twitched ever so slightly.

"I think he's gone into overload." Kiba stated from his perch against Akamaru. "Probably the shock of all the sex."

"I doubt that. Probably the shock of that nasty movie." Shizune replied as she moved toward Kakashi and the remote.

"Now, Shizune. I for one am applauding this movie. The director is a genius of the romantic arts." Kakashi chimed with sparkling star dust dancing around his face.

Everyone rolled their eyes. All except Naruto and Kankuro, who were now suddenly grinning. Shizune eyed them cautiously as she straightened.

"Well, it doesn't matter because I'm taking that movie and any others you have. When the Hokage finds out that thing is circulating again she's going to..."

"She's not going to find out." Hinata spoke again. Her voice just as clear and certain as the first time.

Shizune turned a cool eye on the Hyuuga girl noting her position behind one Uzumaki Naruto. The mussed hair, dark circular bruises and rumpled clothing was all she needed to know what had been going on between the two of them. She smiled chillingly and took a step toward the couple.

"Oh I think she will. And I think your father will have a great deal to say about your activities this evening. I doubt he'll be pleased when Lady Tsunade informs him of what's been going on here." The assistant explained.

Neji stiffened against the wall behind Shizune. Kankuro was still grinning and still trying to fend off Sakura now that she'd leaned in and trapped his bent left leg against the back of the futon leaving his thighs spread wide open. Ino lowered her hand from Chojis mouth only to stuff a chip in it. Kiba watched with mild interest as Genma shook his head and Shino looked mortified. TenTen tried to rouse a confused and befuddled Lee. But Hinata simply smiled while Naruto grinned.

"And what's she going to think when she finds out why you've been seen sneaking into the Hyuuga compound, leaving TonTon tied at the gate?" The purple haired kunoichi asked cheerfully.

Shizunes smile faltered. Neji looked ill. Everyone else looked very very interested.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." The young medic declared in a haughty voice.

The music from the movie swelled and Shizune cast an anxious glance toward the screen before settling it back on Hinata's smiling face.

"I always wondered what TonTon was doing out so late? Thought one of the servants was feeding her?" Genma said thoughtfully.

The Hokages assistant stilled a little more. A sweeping refrain rolled from the speakers into the room.

"By the way," Hinata smiled wickedly. "Hanabi says if she scarred for life. She'll remember you bouncing on top of dad's naked ass for the rest of her life."

thud...

All eyes turned to Kiba who was still sitting with Akamaru.

"What?" He asked, confused.

Everyone looked around toward the hall. Neji lay sprawled on his back, eyes rolled into his head, completely unconscious.

"Damn. It's contagious." Ino muttered.

"Probably the thought of Lord Hiashis naked ass that set him off." Choji munched.

"Why Hiashi?" Sasuke asked, thinking the snotty Hyuuga must be gay and not so angry about the blowjob now.

"Cause he was a virgin before last night." Choji munched some more.

Sasuke stared at the large shinobi for a long moment before turning his open-mouthed, stricken face back to the screen. And a moment later, he screamed like a little girl.

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Temari sat on one side of the bench while Shikamaru sat on the other. They hadn't spoken since they'd walked to a more private street, Temari having refused to go back to his apartment. Now they sat facing a small house on a rural street neither really knowing exactly how to start.

"I'm sorry." Shikamaru mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Temari turned to look at the shadow shinobi with a frown.

"I said, I'm sorry." He spoke more clearly though just as quietly.

"You can say it all you want." She turned back toward the road. "It doesn't change the fact that you were screwing around behind my back."

Shikamaru growled his frustration and turned fully to his estranged girlfriend.

"And what the hell do you think you were doing? You act like no one could hear you in that room!"

"Exactly." She replied primly. "I was open and honest with it. I didn't do anything behind your back. And that wasn't screwing around. THAT was revenge."

She stood suddenly and began walking down the silent road. Shikamaru stood and jogged to catch up with her.

"Oh yeah! Well, I was coerced and shanghaied! They had me pinned! You walked in, picked Kiba up, and started undressing before the door was closed!!" He screamed over her shoulder as she picked up speed and he tried to keep up.

"No. As I recall, I asked you who would you choose and you told me the guy with the lousiest reputation in the Land of Fire and Wind put together." She continued her long strides and steady pace as they passed several small neat houses.

"I wasn't going to let you have someone who..." He stopped in the middle of the street and stared at her back a moment before hanging his head. "Was he that good?" He muttered low and distressed.

"What?" She came to a halt a few feet away and turned to look at him.

Shikamaru refused to look up. "There was a lot of banging and you kept screaming... You never scream like that for me."

Temari smiled and shook her head as she started back toward him.

"I'll do better, Mari. Don't leave."

If she'd had any doubt the idiot loved her they were gone now. The laziest shinobi in the village had lost his temper, yelled, jogged three blocks and bowed his head in shame only to take on a promise of better performance. No one could ask for a greater declaration of love from Nara Shikamaru.

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"Gaara told me about this part!" Kankuro said with equal parts malice and glee.

"What the hell!" Naruto stood straight up on the futon.

Kiba was on his feet gaping at the screen.

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" Shino exclaimed as he jerked upright and batted away Genmas arms.

"I can't say that I'm surprised, really." Kakashi drolled. "Well, not as surprised as I was by the first scene."

Sasuke stood in front of his chair, hands braced on the sides of the video screen. His face a picture of emotional and mental torture as the music began to swell over the speakers. His spiral curls hung low over his neck and cheeks as he muttered.

"I can't believe this! It's just not possible."

Sakura , TenTen, Ino, and Hinata stared with identical expressions as the movie rolled into a steaming nude scene.

"Oh... Oh tell me this is really and not a body double." Ino moaned.

"He can kill me any time. Run me through. I"ll die a happy woman." TenTen whispered.

"Guess the Hyuuga men aren't the only hot ticket around here." Sakura added wistfully.

"Oh My!" Hinata squeaked with feeling.

"He always got all the attention." Sasuke whispered hoarsely. "Everybody loves Itachi. He's the perfect ninja, the perfect son. He got the hair and the masculine looks. Stronger, smarter, cockier, cooler. And now..."

"And now he has a porn movie with Shizune... you really get around don't you?" Genma asked with raised brows.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Shizune shuddered.

"Not on my carpet you aren't." Genma glared menacingly.

"Is this karma?" Sasuke asked in an every higher voice.

"If it is," Kakashi started with as he wrapped his arm around his former student, "then I think your hell is just beginning."

"Just my luck I get the wrong Uchiha." Sakura muttered then slipped a hand down Kankuro's inner thigh.

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I know it's been a while. Hope this wets your appetite. Reviews would be wonderful.