Don't own Naruto.

I can honestly say I never thought I'd see my young progeny this upset. After all, he'd spent his entire life in the shadows of his brother. But admittedly this was a little much for anyone with bipolar issues to adjust to. And though I'm sure he deserved a great deal of it; it seemed rather harsh to...

(begin obligatory flashback... well, since the whole thing is a flashback... ... ... never mind.)

Sasuke sat, a ball of quivering pale skin and bouncy hair, on the floor in front of Kakashi who silently patted his shoulders while watching screen. TenTen now held the remote and had, for the fourth time, replayed the scene of Itachi in all his naked glory for all the women gathered around the room. All except Shizune who'd gone to the bathroom to, no doubt, throw up.

"All the gods be praised, that man has got the finest ass I have ever seen." The weapons expert groaned as she replayed the scene once again.

"TenTen, if you don't stop rewinding I'm taking the remote away. I'm missing the line of the story thanks to you." Kakashi grumbled. "I'm sure if he's getting this much air time he'll be somewhere else in the movie.

"He is." Kankuro said as he tried to slide from the futon, using chakra strings to manipulate the cushions.

"How do you know?" Ino, who'd been trying to get an answer out of Genma, asked sharply.

"Gaara told me." He replied as he finally managed to slide his leg just a little farther from behind Sakuras back. She was watching the screen with great interest but she wasn't giving up his leg.

Kiba look sceptically at the puppeteer. "I thought you said your brother hadn't done these movies?"

"I said he didn't do them. I never said he didn't watch them."

Sakura chose that moment to slide her hand up his inner thigh and brush against his semi-hard on. Kankuro groaned then yelped and tried to back away. She shifted her hand until it gripped him lower and he went very very still.

"Going somewhere?" She asked without looking at him.

"Not with your hand on my balls. No." He whispered. "No offense. You're nice looking and all, but you kinda scare me and that's just not good for the sex."

Now she did look at him. Her bright green eyes landed on him then slowly shifted down to her hand.

"What about me scares you?" She asked as he asked lifted to his face.

"Well," Your very strong hand on my very delicate balls! His inner thoughts screamed. Outwardly his drew in a deep breath and tried not to move too much. "Well, you have that super human strength thing going for you and though I'm sure that's a plus in the ninja profession it doesn't inspire confidence in men."

Her look turned thoughtful as she considered what he'd just said. After a moment she removed her hand and leaned into him just a little. With his legs spread she was practically on top of him but he didn't feel the need to point it out.

"So, what you're telling me is that men don't like taking a girl to bed they know can whip their ass?" She asked.

"Yeah. That and..." He hesitated. Not knowing how she'd react to the next answer but she wasn't holding his balls so maybe he'd have time to move. "I've heard things about you."

He didn't whimper when her eyes narrowed but he didn't cringe when her nails dug into his thighs.

"What kinds of things?" She asked with deceptive sweetness.

"Well, I..." He started only to be saved by a hand on Sakuras shoulder.

Naruto, seeing his drunken friend in a very uncomfortable and possibly dangerous situation had come to check on things when he'd heard Sakuras question. He sighed, knowing he was going to get his ass kicked but unable to ditch a fellow ninja in need.

"Uh, Sakura? That's kinda my fault." Those green eyes slowly turned on him and he swallowed.

"Is that right? And how exactly is it your fault?"

With no other option open to him and knowing it wouldn't matter anyway, he told the truth.

"I exaggerated about you some cause I was pissed you'd turned me down. So, when he asked about you, I told him you were a closet dominatrix and had a habit of using whips and restraints on unsuspecting men." He smiled and scratched the back of his head as he put a little distance between them.

She stared at him for a full minute. In fact, quite a few people were staring at him. Sasuke had momentarily forgotten about his brothers movie debut and was gaping at his friend in horror. Kiba sat up a little straighter and even Shino came out of hiding.

"That was a little harsh, don't you think?" Genma intoned, wide eyed.

"I was really pissed." Naruto mumbled, blushing.

"Does she really do that?" Sasuke asked almost whining. "She didn't do that to me?"

"Sasuke, you're brothers doing Anko." Ino pointed toward the screen.

Before he'd considered her words he'd already looked to the screen. His entire face fell and his eyes widened before he screamed again and buried his head in Kakashis lap.

"Come on. Be a man." Kakashi mumbled as he continued to follow the plot line of the story.

As the moment passed and everyone went back to their own business, Kankuro became aware that he was being watched. He looked back in the direction of the pink seductress between his thighs and squeaked.

"You were asking about me?" She asked curiously.

He nodded slowly and Naruto leaned over them to speak.

"Several times actually. I'm sure I had to say something good about you at least once." The blond continued until Sakura wrapped a free hand around his throat.

"Go sit with Hinata and shut up and I'll forget you said anything at all." She never took her eyes off Kankuro as she released Naruto and gave him a push that sent him flying.

"Hey! No throwing people in my place! You'll break something!" Genma yelled as he and Shino talked quietly, most likely about how pathetic Sasuke looked drooling like an infant on the floor.

Sakura ignored him and leaned farther into Kankuros chest. He blinked wide eyes at her but didn't have anywhere else to go. So he reached out, grabbed his Sake cup and downed the last of it in one gulp. It burned all the way down and he winced then choked. Sakura lay a gentle hand on his chest. Green light glowed low for a moment and the coughing and burning subsided. Kankuro simply blinked again.

"Feeling better?" She asked.

He nodded. The room was tilting a little but he was, in fact, feeling much better.

"Not scared?" She asked again.

He shook his head and the room moved with it. It was a little strange but he could work with that.

"Want to know more about me now?" She cooed.

He smiled and nodded again. Her eyes were such a pretty green. And her forehead wasn't all that big.

"Want to go someplace more quiet?" She whispered as she moved in to rub noses with him.

He giggled at the light touch and blinked a few times to focus but nodded all the same. "Okay."

She smiled. And it was such a pretty smile to him that he smiled back even bigger. He thought about telling her he couldn't walk but it seemed she'd already planned for it. She pulled him up to a sitting position and wrapped one arm under his, throwing his arm over her shoulder. She then lifted them both effortlessly and started for the hall.

"I'm taking this one to the bed. I think he's had too much to drink." Sakura told the room at large.

"Change the sheets when you're done." Genma called.

0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0

Izumo and Kotetsu sat across the bar watching Anko talk animatedly with a hassled looking Ibiki.

"Why doesn't he just kill her and get it over with?" Izumo asked as he lifted his drink.

"Too much paperwork and besides I think he might be afraid of her." Kotetsu offered, taking a drink of his own.

"You'd think a man who tortures the masses as a profession could fend off one kunoichi half his size."

Anko said something at that moment that had Ibiki turning several shades of red and moving one barstool down. Both observing chuunin blinked rapidly before looking at one another in shock.

"Wow. Didn't see that one coming." Kotetsu stood and stretched then lifted his drink. "Guess it's time to go save the poor guy."

"Why does it have to be us?" Izumo moaned.

Kotetsu grinned and winked. "Because we have a job to do and a bet to get rolling."

Izumo nodded with an almost smile and stood as well, leaving his drink behind. The two moved to the opposite side of the bar where Anko had moved up into Ibikis personal space once more.

"... and I told him it wasn't any of his business where I'd picked it up but he wasn't going to get it so what was his problem." She carried on.

"Oi!"

Ibiki looked up at the interruption and seeing the Hokages two assistance decided to make a tactical retreat.

"Hello, boys." He nodded then looked down seeing a folder in Kotetsus hand. "Are those you're reports for the Hokage?" He grabbed it before the man could answer, tossed money on the counter and took off for the door. "I'm going that way. I'll take them to her."

Kotetsu gaped. "Wait!! Those aren't my reports!" And he too took off out the door.

"What was all that about?" Anko asked puzzled as she grabbed the rest of Ibikis drink and finished it.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that." Izumo smiled. "Tell me. Have you heard about Genmas latest conquest?"

Ankos eyes sharpened and she moved closer to the smiling man. "Oh, do tell."

0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0

Tsunade looked out the window of Hokage Tower and frowned.

"Shizune? Why is Kotetsu chasing Ibiki down the street? Shizune?"

She looked back to see that her assistant was no where in site.

"SHIZUNE!!" She yelled but got no answer.

She frowned back at the two men now only steps away from the tower entrance.

"First Shikamarus running, without being chased, down the streets screaming nonsense at the top of his lungs, now this. What the hell has gotten into everyone?"

She shook her head and turned to sit back behind her desk and the huge mounds of paperwork. She slid a stack to the side and pulled a bottle from between two adjacent stacks, smiling as she poured its contents into a small cup.

"Well, as long as Shizunes on break..."

0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0

I know it's not long but it should be just as enjoyable. Size isn't everything you know.