I'm ba-ack! And so is the next chapter. I don't own Naruto… blah blah blah.

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Kiba rubbed Sasukes quivering back as the man hiccupped and sniffed loudly.

"It's not as if you liked him anyway. I mean, you've been trying to kill him for years." Kiba softly soothed.

The Uchiha whimpered then buried his face more deeply in his hands.

"What does it matter if he's gay or bi or whatever?" Kiba whined. "He's only doing it for the money cause he's shit out of luck without his Akatsuki buddies."

Sasuke sniffed again but this time Kiba was sure he saw a small nod as the curls shifted on the pillows by the table. Funny, he'd just been in this room not long before with Temari, giving her the most erotic foot massage he'd ever given any woman. He'd have to thank Naruto and Lee for that. When he was done baby sitting Sasuke that is.

"Hey! I have an idea!" Kiba bent down and lifted a lock of Sasukes hair. "Why don't we do something about this corkscrew mess you have on your head. I'll just get the gel from Genmas bathroom and…"

Sasukes head came up. Swollen eyes no longer looking pitiful or angry but horrified.

"No way are you putting that horse shit he uses in MY hair." He reached into his own jacket and pulled at a small tube. "Use this… but sparingly. It doesn't take much and it's expensive."

Kiba took the tube between his finger and read the small print. "It's herbal." He opened the tube and lifted it to his nose. "It smells like tree bark and bat shit."

Sasuke gave him a droll look that came across as rude even with the tear tracks on his face. "It's called guano and it's highly prized in some areas. Now up a little on your palm and help me fix this mess." He turned his back to the dog nin and grumbled. "Honestly, you'd think you lived in the dog house with the other mutts."

Kibas eyes narrowed on the back of his kinky curly head. If he thought this ninja had no couth and no sense of style he was in for the shock of his life.

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Kankuro moaned into his arm as the long vibrators rotation slapped at his skin.

"This is the best massage I've ever had. If I'd known about these things I'd get them for every holliday. Temari would LOVE them." He slurred and lifted his head just enough to look behind him.

Sakura smiled and poured more of the heated lubricant over his skin before moving on to the next toy.

"Oh I'm sure she would but I wouldn't give them out as just any gift. These would be special and private."

Kankuro gave a little "O" with his mouth that had Sakuras mouth watering before he rested his head once again on the bed.

"So, what do I get for showing you all these wonderful toys and what they can do for you?"

Kankuro sluggishly rolled to his side and blinked at the pink hair woman straddling his hips. His alcohol mussed brain knew what she wanted but he wasn't sure his body was up to the task.

"Well, I don't know if mister happy can get happy enough for you right now. What did you have in mind?" He blinked blurry eyes at her but smiled. He was all for it he just didn't think his limbs would cooperate.

Sakura decided he was just drunk enough. She moved off of his hips and rolled him to his back.

"Oh, I think I can get mister happy to stand up and play with us. Mind if I give it a shot."

Kankuro smiled sloppily. "Okay." And didn't complain once when she spread his legs to hang off the sides of the bed.

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Anko stood on the steps of Genmas apartment and adjusted her shoulder straps. So the stringy haired pervert thought he was going to one up her, did he. Well, she'd just see about that.

Not bothering to knock she opened the door and walked past a couple of doors with very interesting sounds issuing from them into the main living area. A group of young shinobi sat around on futons and cushions watching a movie. Kakashis face was nearly plastered to the screen. Her target, however, was too busy to watch any move. No, Genma had his tongue in young Shinos ear and his hand up his shirt. She saw his wrist twitch slightly and Shino bit his bottom lip to, most likely, hold back a groan. She had to hand it to the man. He was good.

But she was better.

"Anko Mitarashi?"

She looked down to see Rock Lee sitting crossed leg on the floor staring at her shoes. Other heads turned at the call of her name. A few looking nervous.

"Can I help you?" She glared down at the green jounin but he simply continued to stare at her feet.

"May I ask you a question?" Lee replied curiously.

Anko rolled her eyes but nodded. When she realized he'd not look up to see it she simply said, "Yes."

"Why do your boots have handles?" Lee reached out a hand and touched the long think straps on the sides of the knee high boots.

Every looked down at Ankos boots.

"Damn, Anko! They need handles to ride now?" Genma called from the other side of the room, his hand still up Shinos shirt.

"Look you sick…" She stopped when she felt Lees fingers touch her leg at the top of the boot.

"What kind of material are these made from? It looks very sturdy." He finally looked up at her.

For a moment she really didn't know what to do or say. Then she grinned a very wicked grin.

"You wouldn't." Genma called.

Anko held a hand out to the mini green beast of Konoha. "They are very sturdy. Want to try them out?"

Lees face lit up even as Genmas fell and several people in the room looked shocked and very appalled.

"Would you allow me to try them on? That would be wonderful! Thank you very much!" He stood and grinned with blinding intensity.

Ankos eyes widened only slightly at the thought of the wide eyed ninja in high heel boots. But her thoughts moved to more fruitful fields at his eager expression.

"Sure thing. In fact, I have another pair at home that might be right up your alley." She looked in close. "Care to join me?"

"Don't do it man." Naruto called from behind Hinata.

"I'm not sure his mind can take it, Anko." Genma cried out.

"He's right. Poor guys had fluffer on the brain all day." Ino said.

"You got any food at your place?" Choji drunkenly asked.

Neji hide behind the couch while Shino tried to bat Genmas hand away enough to form a coherent sentence. TenTen just shook her head and sighed.

"Will you all be quiet? I'd like to here the dialogue." Kakashi complained.

"I would be honored if you would show me this wonderful training gear." Lee bowed and offered his arm to Anko.

Everyone watched then walk down the hall and listened as the door shut.

"Well damn." Ino mumbled.

"I know." TenTen moaned.

"He'll never be the same again." Choji shook his head and stood to find more food.

"You know," Shino slapped at Genmas hand again and moved out of arms reach. "This could be good for him."

Everyone, including Kakashi, looked to the wiry haired bug nin.

"Well, it could."

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Tsunade stormed from her office in a fit of rage.

"Where Are They?!"

The stand in chuunin cringed and fell back a few steps before attempting to stammer out that no one had found Izumo or Kotetsu. This only angered her farther and she lifted the small desk by the wall and tossed it out a window.

"Shizune! Get in here!"

The poor man swallowed and stepped behind a potted plant before telling her that Shizune had been out of the office all morning and no one had been able to locate her either.

Tsunade turned red and steam poured from her ears. The chuunin fled.

"That's It!"

She slammed her office door and stomped from Hokage tower with long purposeful strides.

"If you want something done you've got to do it yourself."

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Temari leaned her head on Shikamarus shoulder and sighed as the two of them walked sedately down the main street.

"You want to go back to my suit. Kankuro won't be back for a while and Gaaras not due until tomorrow." She whispered playfully in his ear.

He smiled down at her with raised brows but both looked up quickly at a commotion toward the end of the road. People were scattering left and right as something or someone barreled through the crowd.

"Out of my way! Hokage coming through! Important business!"

Shikamarus eyes widened and he tried to turn them down an alley before they were spotted but got caught in an old woman's tote handles.

"So troublesome." He groaned as he watched Tsunade grin in his direction .

"What do you think she wants?" Temari asked looking a little skittish and actually standing a little behind him.

"I don't know, but whatever it is can't be good."

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Yes, I know this is short but I'm trying to get back into the swing of it. I'll have more soon. Until then, hope you enjoy.