Sorry to keep you all waiting. Sand in the Leaves has been talking to me. I'll be trying harder but I'm going to be moving in two weeks so don't get mad if it takes me a while to catch up. Anyway, enjoy!

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The room had frozen at the sound of their Hokages sugary sweet voice. Everyone knew this couldn't be good so no one moved; hoping beyond hope that they wouldn't be noticed if they didn't make any sudden movements.

"Sasuke? Is there a reason you're trying to choke Naruto? I mean, other than the usual." Tsunade asked.

Sasuke slowly released Narutos throat and turned to face her. His patented Uchiha sneer was in place and he was read for the verbal brawl when he suddenly choked and bent over at the waist before dropping to his knees and heaving for breath. Behind him, Hinata indulged in a sneer of her own as she pulled her leg from between Sasukes and settled it back on the couch.

Tsunade blinked at the normal shy girl, then at whom she was cuddled up to and how the blond was cuddling back. In her mind she acknowledged approval before sweeping her gaze over the rest of the room. Her eyes came to rest on Neji and she blinked a few times before making her way closer.

"What happened to him?"

TenTen, against her better judgment, looked up to answer the question.

"ANBU happened." TenTen cringed when Tsunades eyes narrowed.

"What was he doing with ANBU?" The Hokage ground out quietly.

Naruto, showing none of the prudence and fear everyone felt he should show for their sake if not his own, got to his knees and looked over the back of the futon.

"It was my fault Granny Tsunade. Leiko came looking for me and…"

Tsunade spun around so fast the wind of it actually lifted some people's hair. She stared in horror at Naruto for a moment.

"Is this the same Leiko Jiraiya runs from when he sees her?"

"One in the same." Naruto replied.

"He needs a medic." She turned back to Neji who was cowering in the corner.

"COME ON SAKURA! WHY'D YOU STOP?!" Kankuro yelled in a slurred voice.

Whatever Sakura replied was muffled as Genma pulled the door closed, trying to keep the Hokages attention off of him. And he knew this had something to do with him, otherwise she wouldn't have come to his apartment.

"Sakura already took care of it." Ino piped up.

"It doesn't look like she took care of it." Tsunade angrily moved closer to the whimpering Hyuuga.

"Neji. It's alright. Kankuro likes it. You don't have to worry." TenTen murmured softly.

"Well," Naruto shrugged and one side of his mouth tipped in a sloppy grin. "She took care of the parts that hurt the most. He wasn't a very good patient. He yelled a lot."

Hinata sat quietly twisting her fingers. Choji snored. Ino helped Sasuke into a sitting position though she didn't know why she was bothering. Genma and Shino stood very, very still. Kakashi ignored them all and watched the movie.

"Shizune?" The dark haired medic cringed but stepped forward. "Take care of Neji. See if you can get him to let you do more than he let Sakura."

Shizune nodded and bent down to help the young Hyuuga as Tsunade turned toward the front of the room and Genma. She was heading straight for the senbon user and his buggy cohort when she glanced at the screen… and froze.

"Is that… what I think it is?"

"Oh shit." Ino stood slowly and began to back away.

"Where… Did… You… Get… This… MOVIE?!"

Kakashi pressed the pause button just as a leather clad red head stepped up to a table showing a very impressive if thin silhouette and a tight backside. Everyone held their breath as the copy ninja turned around to face a red faced Tsunade, his droopy eye looking bored of the whole situation.

"Shikamaru brought it." Choji hiccupped.

All eyes turned to Choji who'd managed to somehow have woken from his drunken stupor without really waking up. Ino considered running to save him but thought better of it. He'd left Shikamaru to his fate more than once today. She'd leave him to his.

"How the hell did Nara get this…" The flustered Hokage gave a sudden 'ah' then a very frightening grin. "So, Shikaku's been a naughty little boy." She cocked out one hip making everyone in the room jump then tapped a finger to her chin. "Well, I'll just have to have a talk with him." She looked around the room again then her eyes landed on Genma and Shino by the bedroom door. She grinned. "But right now…"

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Shikamaru and Temari looked on in horrified fascination. After following Anko and Lee to a small tasteful cottage they slipped into the little garden in back and found the occupied rooms' window. Lees delighted laughter and constant talking should have tipped them off that they were in for an eyeful but they hadn't expected this.

"I have to say, Lee looks pretty good in a dress." Temari leaned back a little as the normally green clad shinobi pranced by the window in a pair of spiked heels and a sheer kimono.

"I didn't know they made dresses that see through." Shikamaru whispered as he moved back into position. "And what exactly is that thing he's got on under it?"

"It's a bustier. In leather… I think. It's supposed to push your tits up." She leaned in a little closer and squinted her eyes. "I think they have rolled bandages in the cups."

"And what's that?" He pointed to the small scrap of black holding Lees more personal parts in place.

"Oh. That's a thong. I have no idea how he's staying in that."

Lee turned and Shikamaru looked decidedly ill. "He's not."

"Nice set he's got there." She admired. Shikamaru scowled.

Anko pulled something from the closet and started stripping. Lee turned away from the mirror to speak with her but the words died on his lips as he got a clear view of the snake ladies bare backside.

"Sweet Hokage." Lee whispered audibly.

"I concur." Shikamaru murmured. Temari scowled.

The wind and shadow weilders watched as Lee slowly and rather gracefully moved in behind Anko. When his hands met her hips she shot up and turned a leering smile on him.

"Do we really want to watch what comes next?" Temari asked as a bare breasted Anko bounced her way to the bed with a bow tie around her neck.

"Someone needs to stand witness and besides…" He smiled and softly sighed. "… it'll kill Ino she didn't find out about it first."

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"I'm not apologizing. It was completely consensual." Genma started as Tsunade moved slow toward him.

"He's absolutely right. In fact, I came on to him." Shino calmly pushed past Genma to step just in front of him.

"Uhm… What are you doing?" Genma pushed Shino just a little behind him.

"I'm standing with you." He replied, pushing gently back to the front.

"No." Genma grabbed the bug nins shoulders and physically moved him back. "You're trying to stand between me and the Hokage."

Shino just stared at him. At least he though he was staring at him. He grabbed the glasses and pulled them down his nose. Yep, he was staring at him.

"Nice eyes, Aburame." Tsunade said with approval.

Shino grabbed the glasses and pushed them back up his nose. Tsunade was right on top of them now and he once again tried to push in front of Genma. Genma just fended off his hands and legs as he turned to face the Hokage.

"You know, that really is cute but I have other matters to deal with." She put her hands by her sides and studied the couple. "Have you told his father yet?"

Genma went white. Shino looked smug.

"No. He hasn't. And neither have I." The he replied and patted Genma soundly on the back.

Tsunade gave them a calculating look. "That ones chancy." She seemed to come to some sort of decision then nodded and smiled at them again. "Has Anko been here?"

The room at large, still in shock over having thrown Shikamarus father to the wolves, shook their collective heads and turned at the question.

A hoarse cry came from the bedroom causing everyone to jump. Annoyed, Tsunade looked around Genmas back as Kankuro moaned in apparent bliss then began begging in a slurred yet no less understandable voice. Neji began to cry audibly.

"For the love of…" Genma turned around and stuck his head in the door. "There's a ball gag in the box! Will you please put it on him?!"

Shino shook his head almost sadly. "Are you sure she knows what that is? She didn't look like she knew how to use the equipment she had to begin with."

Genma growled and went into the room.

"Anko came by a little while ago. She left with… Lee." Ino actually looked disturbed.

Tsunade rounded on her and she jumped. "Lee? Really?" The young blond nodded. "He wasn't even on the list." The Hokage mumbled. "I have so got this in the bag!"

Everyone looked at her like she'd grown a second head. Finally, after several moments of silent contemplation, Naruto gamely asked the question on everyone's mind.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Tsunade looked around, having forgotten where she was and who she was with. "What? Oh!" She smiled vaguely then waved a hand. "Nothing, nothing. Well, I have to be going. I'll see you later Shizune. Give me a report on what's his face and all that."

Everyone blinked dumbly as the front door closed on a giggling blond Hokage. All except Sasuke who'd finally finished quietly crying the throwing up in the kitchen.

"Alright. She's set. Now back to… where to she go?" Genma looked around confused as everyone attempted to close their nearly unhinged jaws.

"She just… left. Said something about Lee not being on a list and having something in the bag. What's she got in a bag that would make her so happy?" Naruto asked, puzzled.

Genma tossed his head back and groan. "The betting pool."

"What betting pool?" Kakashi asked. He was still holding the remote on pause.

"The one that asks who Ankos going to try and one-up me with. I had almost forgotten. Lee wasn't on the list."

"I remember now." Shino said blandly. "You said she would go for Naruto. And if I remember correctly Kakashi and Konohamaru were on the list as well."

Naruto was looking nervous until he heard his young protégés name. Then he turned green. "Konohamaru?"

"That's sick." TenTen sneered.

"That's Anko." Genma, Shizune and Kakashi said in unison.

A moment of silence followed as Nejis sniffling died down to snubs and everyone settled their minds around the last few minutes.

"Well, hopefully her good luck will not bring disaster to the village." He hit the remote and the red head in leather began to move again. "On with the show."

Kakashi leaned back in his seat while everyone else settled themselves to veg-out in front of the screen. Shino was just leaning back into Genmas chest when he sat up completely straight and gasped… along with everyone else in the room.

"You have got to be kidding me?" Sasuke whined trying to run his fingers through his hair and pulling out chunks.

"Oh, oh, please tell me he gets naked in the movie! Please, tell me he gets naked! TenTen moaned. Ino had a similar sentiment only not voice.

"Do you look that good in leather?" Hinata turned to Naruto with wide eyes and a curiously innocent face.

"I-I-I-I" The blond replied dumbly.

Kakashi was mystified. If this was what the cast was like for eight movies he could only imagine what the climax would be like. The thought made him smile so brightly he didn't even notice his mask getting wet from all the drool.

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I didn't reread so I hope there aren't too many mistakes. Please review if you can. I love reviews!