"Should we tell Kankuro?" Ino asked while attempting to prop Choji upright and watch the screen at the same time.

A loud, muffled cry came from the bedroom.

"No. He's good right now. No need to spoil his fun." Genma replied, though he didn't take his eyes off the screen.

"But I thought he said Gaara wasn't in any of the moooooviiiies look at that ass!" TenTen moved as close to the screen as she could get.

"I want to be leather." Hinata mumbled.

"HEY!" Naruto cried horrified.

"The contrast is definitely... stimulating." Shino's hand snaked between his lower back and Genmas front. "Very stimulating."

The Kazekage of Suna moved with fluid grace between tables until he stopped in front of what appeared to be the current Hero of the movie. He took drink orders from the couple at the table then turned and sashayed across the room to the bar. The camera followed his movements, capturing the snug fit of his leather pants and shirtless vest as they hugged his swaying hips and ass.

"TenTen, you're drooling on the screen." Kakashi pulled a spare mask from his pouch and wiped the rivulet of spit before it dripped to the floor. "Someone get a towel."

"Naruto, get a towel." Hinata nudged the blond toward the edge of the couch without taking her eyes off the screen.

"Hey!" Naruto whined.

The camera panned away from the lean muscles of Gaaras arms to move back toward the main characters.

"Wait!! Wait!! No! You can't take the camera off of him! Put it back!!" TenTen screamed at the screen.

"Give it up, TenTen, he's gone." Genma said, not unkindly.

"Nooooooooooo!" TenTen dropped back on her heels and wailed.

"I think TenTen needs help." Ino blinked wide-eyed.

"You all need help." Sasuke grumbled as he pulled his fingers through his hair and came away with chunks of matted white. "Kiba is a dead dog."

"Kiba's not a dog and you aren't going to kill him." Kakashi leaned forward and gripped the back of TenTens neck to restrain her before she shattered the screen with her flailing fists. "I'm sure whatever happened was at least partly your fault."

"My Fault! MY FAULT!! Look what that bastard did to my hair!" Sasuke held out a clump of chalky white strands for everyones inspection. Ino cringed.

"That... is an unfair assumption." Choji spoke while rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand and yawning wide. "Just cause he's got no dad doesn't mean you have to call him names."

"Oh, he lives." Ino smiled at her teammate then looked back at Genma, her own eyes a little blurry. "Got any coffee?"

Genma pointed. "You know where the kitchen is." His voice cracked a little and he quickly dropped his hands to his lap hidden behind Shinos back. "Make... make sure it walks on it's own... oh don't do that."

Ino shook her head at the pleased expression on Shino's face and went to make the coffee. Choji yawned, hiccuped and settled back into his seat. A long sigh filled the room as TenTen watched the camera angle pan out from the main characters and once again capture Gaaras leather clad ass and bare, finely muscled arms.

"I think she's in love." Kakashi said on a sigh.

"I don't get it?" Naruto piped up, watching his friend move with just enough sway in his hips to be considered sexy without being girly. "Why didn't he tell us he was doing this and why did they put him in something that makes him look so skinny? It's so tight it looks like it's sprayed on and his so thin..."

TenTen spared a glance for the dense blond while Ino poked her head out of the kitchen to join Hinata in openly gaping at him. Neji continued to rock silently in the corner.

"This coming from the man who stripped naked and poked at least five women on camera." Ino remarked in awe.

Naruto blushed and scooted a little away from Hinata who was glaring prettily at him.

"Who cares!" He's not naked, therefore he's not getting any! So I'm not the only..." Sasuke blinked to the room at large and shut his mouth. "Never mind."

A rousing feminine scream followed by a low satisfied male groan came from the bedroom. Genma sighed then choked and grabbed the area between himself and Shino again.

"Sounds like their done." Shino commented quietly.

The bug shinobi smiled slightly and Genma groaned, dropped his head to the younger mans shoulder.

"C-could you p-p-please do that s-so-somewhere el-s-s-se?" Neji managed stutter from behind his raised knees.

"It's weird hearing it in a deeper voice." Choji mumbled and readjusted in his seat.

"My apartment... oh, right there... I can do what I waahahahahant don't stop." Genma ended on a whine.

"Yes, but the rest of us have to watch and we don't want to." Sasuke retorted as another chuck of hair came out in his hand.

"Then leave." Genma grated out.

The door to the bedroom opened and Sakura stumbled out in a bathrobe twice her size. Her smile reached from ear to ear as she stumbled into the room, barely looking at anyone, and waddled to the kitchen.

"I smell coffee."

Sasuke watched her walk by and his bottom lip quivered. Kakashi caught the look and sighed, turning away from the movie long enough to level his former student with a dispassionate stare.

"Yes, Sasuke, that's what a woman looks like when she's been thoroughly..."

"Are they allowed to do that in bars?" Hinata spoke over him, bringing Kakashis attention back to the screen where the two main characters were now on top of a corner booth and nearly stripped naked.

"It's a movie. Suspension of disbelief and all that." Choji yawned. "Like fan fiction."

0.0.0.0.0.0

Villagers looked on in fascination and horror as a shirtless Rock Lee cartwheeled around a slumped and smiling Anko Mitarashi. When Maito Gai stepped out of a specialty clothing store, arms full of green spandex suits, to see the site; he noted how perfectly formed each movement was and how well his former student moved in five inch heels. Giving a "good guy" thumbs up he yelled fluid and youthful praises to his young friend and teammate while rivers of tears streamed down his face.

0.0.0.0.0.0

Shikamaru trudged next to a shaky Temari, both heading back to Genmas apartment and some form of normalcy. Neither wanted to be alone at his house.

"I'm not sure I'll ever be able to purge... THAT from my mind." Temari floundered.

Shikamaru simply sighed. He wasn't sure he'd be able to wipe the memories away either.

"I just can't believe she got up and walked away from that."

"She limped away." The sand kunoichi shuddered. "I think he might have broken something."

"Nah. Ankos tough but still..."

"It was a little disturbing, baby. You have to admit that at the very least."

Shikamaru stopped and thought about it. "The drag maybe but the rest...?"

Temari stopped as well and raised a brow. "You wanna do that and you're going to have to find yourself a new partner." Her brow furrowed.

He shrugged and winked at her. "Too troublesome."

0.0.0.0.0.0

The villagers were treated to their second surprise of the day as a wrinkled Shikamaru Nara ran down the street followed closely by a fan swinging, foul language wielding Sand kunoichi who's face was nearly as red as the Kazekages hair.

0.0.0.0.0.0

Shizune watched, eyes wide, as her long time friend and companion gleefully signed paperwork and read over reports while whistling a rather happy tune and tapping her foot. Twenty minutes before they had walked into the tower. Ten minutes ago all the others had moved to other parts of the tower not knowing when this new happy Tsunade might spontaneously combust. Five minutes ago a messenger had left the office, sweating, with a sealed scroll. She had no idea what it was about.

"You killed someone didn't you? I'm going to walk into one of the conference rooms and there's going to be a dead body propped in a chair or legs dangling from a hole in the ceiling."

Tsunade looked up from the minutely smaller stack of papers with a serene smile. "Nope."

"You found out several members of the council are dieing of non-treatable diseases?"

Tsunade sighed wistfully. "That would be nice but no."

Shizune frowned. "Then why are you happy? You've had a lousy morning and..."

"Can't a Hokage just try and make the best of her day and be happy about it?"

"No."

Silence fell and The Hokage pushed her stack of papers aside to rest her elbows on the scarred desk.

"So? Why are you so happy?"

The blond watched her assistant with mild irritation but couldn't get rid of the smile. Not today. No matter what kind of sick games her youngest shinobi were playing and what kind of sick movies they were watching, nothing could ruin her day.

"Fine. At least tell me what the scroll was for."

"Oh that." Tsunades smile turned frightening. "That was a summons for the leader of the Nara clan. I have some things I need to discuss with him."

Shizune swallowed but didn't reply. She was only glad the feral smile wasn't turned on her. Neither would she remind her friend that she'd been in the movies herself and that had been the whole reason they'd been ban in Konoha. She sent up a silent prayer that Nara Shikaku would survive the meeting then turned back to her paperwork without another word.

Tsunade let her smile fall back into serene peaceful lines as she pulled over another stack of papers and started writing. She didn't mind a little work today. After all, she was feeling luck!