CLAPTRAP COMPLETE SYSTEM DESTRUCTION IN 14:17:45:45

At least Nisha calmed down to not kill Claptrap immediately on the spot. To help with the process of rebonding, Claptrap scoured the fortress for food and found some teabags. Using basic knowledge he gained by watching Maya during her 'I-can't-stand-Pandora-anymore-so-I-need-a-freaking-cup-of-tea', Claptrap managed to make a lukewarm cup of green tea for him and Nisha. Well, Nisha could actually drink it and Claptrap wanted to imitate the process to make Nisha feel like she was hanging out with a actual human and not with a annoying machine.

Nisha still felt that way, but at least the cup of tea made her feel a bit better inside. Nice warm fuzzy feels.

"So I'm guessing you want to know the story behind my arm?" She sighed as tapped the cauterized spot where a right arm should be coming out of.

"Well, I wanted to know how you got up here, what made you decorated your base with deceased animals, and why you didn't try to contact me or Athena after you escaped Lynchwood!" Claptrap came out.

"The first two relate to my missing arm, and the third one is so stupid I'll pretend you didn't actually say it." Nisha sighed as old memories of Claptrap's bottomless stupidity came washing up on the shores of her bullet-riddled, dirt-covered brain. "So! You know that I met my 'end' at Lynchwood during a showdown with the second generation Vault Hunters. They made a mess of my town, I came to clean it up, and they promptly wiped the floor with me and my men."

"Karma!" Claptrap piped in. "You promised a showdown, which usually is a one on one encounter. You cheated by bringing men along!"

"They were SIX Vault Hunters and ONE me." Nisha growled but dropped the tone after a quick jump along with her face scrunching up in slight pain. "…okay, so I would have still brought my men along even if there was only one Vault Hunter in town. I fought with what I had…but after taking on so many low level bandits, I wasn't up to taking on those powerhouses. That big guy, the one with the buzz-axe? He fell me, with a nasty chop to my old friend!" She rapped on her old wound. "Running low on blood, couldn't move most of my limbs thanks to all of the shrapnel and bullets imbedded, and my guns were either broken, jammed or empty. But I had a way out."

"The New-U System?" Claptrap asked.

"…would you be surprised that I couldn't use it again during that time?" Nisha sighed. Damn gameplay mechanics turning her from a player character into a NPC. "No, my way out was more expensive and far more painful. Behind me laid the bodies of my men, all dead and perfectly placed into a pile. I looked forward and saw that blue-haired bitch pointing my last working revolver at me. I waited for the shot and fell back into the bodies, making sure to drop some ammo, guns, and whatever money I had on my person. While the six of them were grabbing the loot, I made sure to remain as still as possible. It took them about twenty minutes to get everything they wanted and trade and/or duel among each other before they left me alone. To be safe, I waited a extra ten minutes before picking myself up and scurrying out of town."

"So I guess you heard about Jack." Claptrap then asked.

"Wasn't all that surprised." Nisha dejected. "First Wilhem got killed for some stupid set-up that didn't work out for Jack. Then I got popped, Angel…and I got Jack's message to the bandits of Pandora. After hearing that, I knew exactly what the outcome would be. So when I learned that Jack had died like a little bitch…I laughed." Nisha started to chuckle at the memory. "Let's face it. All six of us at Elpis knew that any success we had there wouldn't last for long. I found crazy Jack sexy…" She grabbed her rusty revolver and pushed up her hat, brushing the barrel against her temple. "…but that didn't do much in the long run, huh?"

"You're depressing." Claptrap committed a honest Brutality.

"Oh?" Nisha growled. "You wanna want to know why I'm depressed? It has to do with my life AFTER my 'death'. Because I had little money left, I barely could afford health vials to fix me up, just enough to get me moving out of town before the bandits recognized me. But of course my major wound on my right arm wasn't fixed, so I had to tear apart my already ruined duster to act as a bandage. BAD IDEA!" She suddenly shouted, making Claptrap and a nearby Rak jump. "All the dust and blood on my tattered duster mixed into my wound and infected my arm. I didn't know about it until I way out of town. My arm burned like a bitch."

"And?"

"And…I thought by cutting off a great deal of the infected area would fix it. Surprise, I made things worse! Now that I contracted gangrene, I had to lob off my entire ARM just to stop my entire body from decaying!" She flailed her body from side to side, to which Claptrap took as a sign to step back as she might turn into a psycho and pull a buzz-saw out of her ass. But she did calm down to continue with a normal speaking voice. "So there I was…on the side of the road, watching my arm burn into ash. Had no money, had only one white gun, and I had stolen a drunk's clothes to replace my favorite outfit."

"And seeing how we torched Opportunity…"

"YOU torched Opportunity. I watched you." Nisha growled. "I came back to raid my personal storage for whatever, only to see you order a crane to pick up the storage unit and drop it into a huge pit of molten fire."

"Oh!" Claptrap snapped his imaginary fingers. "I remember smelling something familiar when we dropped that huge orange vault into the fire! It smelt like sweaty leather and gin."

"Well maybe it smelt like leather and gin, because it was leather clothes and gin!" Nisha barked. "So, again, no money, no clothes, no real weapons, no back-up plans. The rest is pretty much explained with blahs, blahs…"

"Sorry, I don't understand blahs." Claptrap shrugged. "Could you go into sparse details?"

"Fine." Nisha coughed. "I searched for a remote place to hide and rebuild. I found this place swarming with monsters, so I raided a nearby bandit camp for weapons and ammo. I killed everything up here and made this place home. I went around to more camps and raided them constantly for what I needed. And then you showed up and made me a half-way decent cup of tea." She downed the rest with one sip. "So. What the hell you want?"

"Well, I got some bad news." Claptrap put down his cup and activated his serious voice. "The Vault Hunters have been kidnapped…"

"That's good news to me."

"…they have been kidnapped by a ex-Maliwan army who are preparing something big…bad news to you?"

"Nope, still good."

"…and I need help to invade the fortress located in a dangerous valley…good news?"

"Why yes, raiding a heavily armed fortress would be good fun…even if it meant freeing my mortal enemies and making even more enemies along the way." Nisha calmly set the cup down. Claptrap imagined that would end up being target practice later. "I don't understand how you got to be a combat bot again, but I'm not going to be joining you on a suicide mission. For multiple reasons."

"Oh, come on! Please? I'm dying in two weeks! I want to go out in a Torque-esque adventure!"

"Aaannnddd adding that to my list of reasons…"

"Nisha!" Claptrap leapt over and yanked on Nisha's tattered cloak with both hands, pulling her in close to his single eye. Nisha just sighed and cocked her head away with a slight smile at this weak attempt of intimidation. "I'm going to permanently shut-down in two weeks times! I just witnessed my friends being abducted in front of me, and now some of them might be already dead! I want to die saving them!" Nisha laughed at the funny images of those stupid Vault Hunters being killed in ironic ways. It started out with a chuckle and descended into roaring laughter.

Claptrap then slapped her, leaving behind the tread-marks of his vice-grip hands on her cheek. Nisha wised up and shook herself to escape, but Claptrap held onto her tight. "I came to you asking for help, and I expected a former friend who betrayed me and got SEVERELLY PUNISHED for it to jump at the chance to gain a little redemption! So, you want to join me or do you want die here LIKE A LITTLE BITCH?!"

Everything went quiet, even the air itself died down at the outburst. Alpha's mouth hung open mute on his end in complete and utter horror of what just happened. Nisha's eyes were dinner-plate large and pale with terror. Claptrap held her this way for a long time, until he suddenly let go. He wheeled back fast, his voicebox muttering out some cowardly mutterings. If he had a face, he too would be white with horror. All three individuals present were silent for a good long minute, no-one moving from their spots.

"…guess there's still a little bit of Shadowtrap within you, huh?" Nisha hoarsely whispered after this period of being stunned faded.

"Part of the reason why I'm still alive." Claptrap admitted. "I get moments like this every now and then."

"That would explain the rather malevolent and permanent data I found floating around in your databanks." Alpha brought up. "I just assumed it was just junk data...who's this Shadowtrap?"

"In a nutshell, ." Nisha filled in Alpha. "Some sort of self-aware code that was supposed to be make Fragrap's Action Skill work properly, but it went bad and it was quarantined. And then we broke it out." She started to sickeningly chuckle. "The one smart thing Claptrap did, and we screwed that up big time. And we paid for it big time…" Nisha groaned as her remaining fleshy arm suddenly pained up after recalling the needlessly grueling showdown with Shadowtrap.

"So…" Claptrap cleared his digital throat. "…will you come with me to rescue the Vault Hunters or not…"

"Claptrap." Nisha sighed, this time with a bit more kinder touch to it. "I don't care about the Vault Hunters. I played the role once, and here am I; lacking a arm, money, weapons…everything really. I'm going to rebuild a bit, get enough money to leave this wretched planet and set up somewhere that's not here. Start over somewhere where a one-armed bandit can make a living." Claptrap wanted to interject with a pun, but decided to let Nisha continue. "You better off hiring a bandit leader. Get a entire army of cannon fodder to soak up the bullets for you while you do all the work and credit. After it's done, execute the remaining bandits and take the loot from the combined forces."

"Alpha, you got anything for her?" Claptrap muttered over the com link.

"What do you think I could offer?" Alpha grunted. "I can't leave my place and deliver her…"

"What about a new arm?" Claptrap asked. "Could you build her a super new robotic arm."

"I could, if you guys would be willing to bust me out of my prison…"

"What about a new arm?" Nisha crawled over to Claptrap to listen in and ask, "What kind of arm are we talking about?"

"Well…" Alpha sighed, realizing he would be doing favors for people throughout the entire adventure and quickly adjusted himself. "I can make a arm that's durable, make the fingers work as small pistols, add in a little missile launcher, have a small cooler, make the fingers also operate as a swiss army knife…"

"Tell me." Nisha cleared her throat before continuing. "Would this arm be able to shoot a gun normally, without gimmicks?"

"Well, being a robotic arm, it would be able to hold a steady shot for far longer than a normal person would…."

"Sounds good." Nisha admitted before also saying with a smile. "Of course, what's stopping me from just leaving you here and tracking down this Alpha guy to do this for me…"

"WE FINALLY FOUND HER!" Both Claptrap and Nisha jumped at the sound of a incoming boss. "RARGH! IT'S TAKEN ME TWO WEEKS, ONE HOUR, FOURTEEN MINUTES AND THRITY TO THRITY-ONE SECONDS TO TRACK HER DOWN, BUT I SUCCEEDED!"

"BOSS, SHE'S A GOT FRIEND UP THERE! I THINK WE INTERUPTED SOMETHING PERSONAL!"

"HOPE OUR INTERFERENCE HASN'T SEALED A DEAL OF CAMARADERIE, AND NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH TWO DANGEROUSLY ARMED MAD PEOPLE!"

"LET'S GET THE EXPLOSIVES AND BLOW DOWN THE MOUNTAIN!"

"GOOD PLAN!"

Nisha gave a good look at Claptrap. Claptrap immediately jumped up and brought forward his Striker. Nisha let out a long and annoyed grunt before reaching over to grab her generic sniper rifle. "Look, fine. You win. Help me drive off these nuts and prevent them from blowing up my nice mountain, and I'll join up on your little adventure. But I take most of the loot when this is all said and done, and then you will leave me alone for the rest of my life and whatever you have left of yours. Got it?"

"GOT IT!" Claptrap cheered, holding up a hand to accept a high-five. Nisha returned it with a half-hearted slap. And the two ascended down the mountain with weapons in hand, ready to take on whatever the bandits threw at them. Like old times.