CHAPTER TEN
At first, he didn't feel the pain. He only felt a strong, warm, soft hand on his left arm. But several seconds later it seemed that spot on his left arm was the one part of his body not in pain. A low moan escaped his lips before he could stop it.
"Bobby." Alex's soft, worried voice broke through the fog in his head. He tried to blink, but his right eye blazed with pain. He managed to open his left eye, and Alex's beautiful face came into blurry view. One of her hands touched his forehead, bringing warmth to it. Bobby tried to move, and in the midst of the resulting pain, he realized something restrained him. As panic rose in him, he struggled to speak, but his mouth was terribly dry. For a horrible moment he thought he was back in that room at Tate.
"Bobby." Alex's voice again reached him, this time breaking through his fear. He gripped her hand as tightly as he could. "Bobby…Listen to me…You're in the hospital…You're not tied down…Your right arm is in a splint…You've got an IV in your left arm…"
He managed a swallow. "Please…thirsty…"
"Oh, God," Alex thought. "He thought he was back at Tate…" She scrambled to pour him a glass of water. She slipped a straw in the glass and held it up to his mouth. "Here," she said gently. He was too weak to raise his head, and he couldn't meet her eyes when she placed an arm behind his neck and helped lift his head so that he could reach the straw. He took a long sip of the cool and soothing water.
"Thank you," he rasped. Alex gently eased him back on the pillows. "The…the hostages…Are they…"
Alex pulled the covers up and around him, carefully avoiding his broken arm and the IV. "They're all fine…All of them…You did good, Bobby…Really good."
"Rye Maguire…"
Alex pushed the call button for a nurse. "He's in custody…He got a few bruises from the explosion, but he's ok…"
"They…they need to put him on…"
"They have…He's on a suicide watch…" She brushed an errant curl from his forehead. She dreaded his next question and looked for a nurse.
"Kevin…Larry…"
Alex took a deep breath. "The explosion…They died in it…or shot each other…We're still waiting on the ME's report."
Bobby looked away.
"Bobby," Alex said.
"Mr. Goren," a nurse said as she entered the room. "It's good to see you awake."
Alex reluctantly left the room. She watched through the glass of the cubicle as the nurse gently cared for Bobby. Alex smiled sadly as she realized the nurse was falling under the infamous Goren charm. "He can't shut it off," Alex thought. "Even when he's lying flat on his back in a hospital bed."
"You can sit with him," the nurse said as she left the room. "Partly because I know you won't leave him. But I have to tell you that he's probably going to fall asleep very soon."
"He's all right?" Alex asked. "He was in a lot of pain when he work up…and for him to show any sign of it, he has to be really hurting."
"One of those big, silent, don't worry about me types, uh?" the nurse asked.
"You got it," Alex sighed.
"Well, he's on some strong painkillers. Everything looks good…no signs of bleeding or infection…We should be able to move him to a regular room soon…and Dr. Bridges will be in to see him in a few minutes."
"Thank," Alex said softly. "For taking such good care of him."
"It's what we do," the nurse replied cheerfully. "You need to get in there if you want to talk to him before he's out."
"Hey," Bobby said weakly as Alex resumed her post by his bed.
"Hey yourself," she said and took his left hand in hers. Its warmth flowed through him.
"Thank you," he said as the drugs and the warm glow of her presence calmed him. "For…"
"Not a problem," Alex said. "You get some rest, Bobby. It'll help you."
"You…you…" He lost the battle, and his eyes fluttered and finally closed.
Bobby slept the deep, dreamless sleep of the exhausted and medicated for the next two days. He woke for short periods when the staff roused him for tests, but his longest period of anything approaching full consciousness was when he was moved to a regular room. Each time he woke he discovered Alex sitting next to his bed, and he rejoiced in the sight. Other visitors occasionally joined Alex, especially after Bobby moved out of the ICU. Ross, bearing news and strong coffee, appeared regularly, and Mike Logan arrived to yank Alex away for a few moments.
"We outcasts have to stick together," Logan told Alex. "Besides, I owe the guy."
Alex smiled. They sat in the hospital cafeteria. "Interesting," she said, glancing at a table full of the Brass and politicians across the room. "A week ago they couldn't put enough distance between themselves and Bobby…Ross was right…They've shown up like vultures."
Logan smiled in agreement. "You might want to know…" He leaned forward. "The official word is that Goren was on compassionate leave when the robbery went down…"
Alex nearly snorted her coffee. "Well," she said when she regained her breath. "That might be better for Bobby as well as the Brass."
"Just make sure the insurance comes through and covers it," Logan said. "Don't let the penny-pinching bureaucrats get him."
"You bet," Alex answered. "I bet," she said, nodding towards a young man in an expensive suit who was a member of the Mayor's staff with strong ties to the Department, "a word to him…or her…" She nodded at a female captain who needed to demonstrate some loyalty to cops on the street. "Would help Bobby's cause considerably."
Logan grinned. "And I thought you and Goren were political innocents."
"I think it's impossible to be that in this job," Alex said. "And it's not that Bobby doesn't know…He just ignores it."
Bobby remained awake most of his fourth day in the hospital. After great encouragement from the nurses and Alex, he swallowed a few bites of food. But he was quiet, even for Bobby, and Alex anxiously watched as he disappeared behind thicker and taller walls.
"I understand," a nurse said as she took away Bobby's largely untouched lunch. "You'll have some visitors this afternoon."
Bobby couldn't hide his surprise and unhappiness. "Uh…Who?"
Alex, her arms folded, stood at the foot of Bobby's bed. "Just some political types and Brass that want to get their picture taken with you…I just found out about it…"
Bobby looked as if he'd rather have a root canal without painkillers.
"We'll get you cleaned up and looking good," the nurse said as she left.
Bobby stared at his hands. Alex stepped to the side of his bed. "You know," she said quietly. "This is a great opportunity. All you have to do is ask for reinstatement in front of the press. You'd probably get offered a Deputy Commissioner's spot."
"I don't want to be a Deputy Commissioner," Bobby said with an edge of panic in his voice. "I…I just want to do the job…"
"Bobby," Alex said with a smile. "You don't have to be a Deputy Commissioner if you don't want to."
He didn't seem to hear her. "But…I can't even…"
Alex touched him gently on the arm, but Bobby jerked away from her.
"I…I'm sorry…Alex…I…"
"Bobby." Alex was puzzled and worried. "What's wrong?"
The nurse returned. "Let's make you look presentable, Detective," she said genially.
Alex and Bobby didn't have another chance to speak. Soon after the nurses left Bobby looking, if not feeling, good, Ross arrived with a warning of the approaching horde.
"You can get out of this, Goren," the Captain said sympathetically. "Just say you're not up to this…The nurses…Alex…me…We'll back you up…"
"I'll never be ready for it," Bobby mumbled. "Might as well get it over with."
Ross cast an uneasy look at Alex. "I need to warn you both…the Chief of Ds is in this crowd."
A bitter, weary smile crossed Bobby's face.
Alex exploded. "How dare he! He…He questions Bobby's…And then…He comes here…" She started to pace furiously.
"Alex," Ross said calmly. "This is a good chance for all of us to get in the good graces of the rest of the Brass…I agree with…The Chief is an opportunistic SOB. But the fact he's an opportunistic SOB means he's not going to challenge the rest of the Brass and the politicians."
Alex calmed. "All right," she conceded. "I'll be quiet."
A nurse appeared at the door. "They're here," she announced. She examined Bobby. "Are you sure you're up to this?"
Bobby nodded.
Alex retreated to a corner as the crowd invaded the room. An assistant Chief brought the good wishes of the Chief. A young, impeccably groomed and dress rep from the Mayor's office extended solicitations and thanks from the city's highest elected official. An official from the bank expressed gratitude for Bobby's actions.
"That's kind of you," Bobby said dryly. "Since I didn't keep your building from being blown up."
He responded gracefully and wittily. Bobby praised the hostages' courage and patience and the police and rescue workers' efforts. A member of the Brass—one that Alex didn't recognize—vaguely promised Bobby some future honors. Bobby waved away the offer with the comment that he was just doing his job and any NYPD officer would've done the same. In short, he did everything right. Alex watched him with a growing sense of unease and worried about how much this performance cost him. The television lights and flashing cameras raised the temperature in the small room, and Alex struggled to control her temper. The Chief of Detectives, a smile pasted on his face, stood in the middle of the emissaries around Bobby's bed. He visibly relaxed as it became clear Bobby would do and say nothing reflecting badly on the department or the Chief. As minutes passed by, anyone not familiar with Bobby's history with the Chief would think that he was the Chief's favorite detective.
Alex shook her head. "Hypocrite," she thought. "Two faced…" Her eyes met Ross' warning look.
Having exhausted the political possibilities, the crowd finally departed, but the Chief of Ds remained behind. "I'd like to speak to Detective Goren," he said.
Alex moved to Bobby's bedside and planted her body there. Ross moved to the foot of the bed.
"Yes, sir," Bobby said evenly.
The Chief, clearly irritated that Alex and Ross hadn't taken the hint that he'd like to speak to Bobby alone, hesitated. "I suppose you realize," he finally said. "That I have to put you back on active duty, Detective."
"I though, sir," Bobby responded coolly. "That depended on my psychological evaluation."
"Damn it, Goren," the Chief growled. "Don't give me the innocent act…You know we have to deal with the real world…You're a great hero…I have to get you back…"
"Even if the psychiatrist says I shouldn't?" Bobby asked quietly.
The Chief glared at him. "I think you know that you've received a positive review…And even before that, half of the Department was crying for you…"
"I've had other captains trying to poach him," Ross said, partly to defend Bobby and partly to annoy the Chief. "And I've heard plenty of other agencies are eager to have him."
Alex felt a stab of fear. Bobby might not come back, and she realized that if he left the NYPD, she would as well.
"Sir…My question…Are you saying the evaluation plays no role in whether I'm reinstated or not?" Bobby asked.
The Chief was clearly confused. "Detective, I've just told you that you're getting your gun and your badge back. What's the problem?"
Alex couldn't hold her tongue any longer. "You think he's like everyone else…Every other cop…And he's not…He cares about the people…the civilians…he's supposed to protect…"
"Detective Eames," Ross said softly. "Be careful…"
"I don't understand," Alex said, managing to control her anger a bit. "You accepted the word of a cop who abandoned his partner…Who lied…Who stayed on the job when he was dangerous to other cops and civilians…And this cop…"
"Eames," Bobby said. "You don't…"
Alex ignored him. "This good cop…Who's done more to protect civilians…this department's reputation…"
"He went on a rogue operation," the Chief fumed.
"And exposed a corrupt and cruel operation that tortured prisoners…mentally ill prisoners…" Alex said, suddenly becoming the tallest person in the room. "This cop cares so much about the civilians and other cops that he doesn't want to stay on the job if he's a danger. Even though the job is his life."
"Eames," Bobby said quietly before the Chief could explode. "He had no choice. I broke the rules…And they're good rules."
Confused by Bobby's reasonable and understanding attitude, the Chief stared at him.
"I believe if Detective Goren thought he had the Department's support," Ross spoke as calmly as Bobby. "I don't think he would've gone to such extreme measures."
"You're defending his actions," the Chief said angrily.
"Not defending," Ross replied. "Explaining…trying to understand…"
"Chief…Sir," Bobby said, giving Ross a quick, grateful look. "If I'm a danger, I shouldn't be on the job. Eames is right. I love this job…I think I'm reasonably good at it. And it's my life…probably too much so." Bobby smiled wryly. "But if I'm a danger…I don't want to be on the job."
The Chief stared at Bobby for several minutes. Finally, he shook his head. "I don't understand you, Detective. But I won't fight the politicians and the other Brass. You'll be reinstated." He turned to go.
"At Major Case." It was a statement and not a request from Ross. "And with Detective Eames."
"Yes," the Chief said without looking at Ross. "At Major Case and with Detective Eames as his partner."
"And you'll make sure Detective Goren gets full benefits from his insurance while he recovers," Alex stated.
"You're pushing, Detective," the Chief started.
"It'd be unfortunate," Ross said. "If word got out that a NYPD detective who's just been acclaimed as a hero isn't receiving his benefits."
The Chief stiffened. "I'm sure," he said through gritted teeth. "There won't be any difficulties with Detective Goren's insurance."
"Thank you, sir," Bobby said calmly. "I appreciate that."
The Chief hesitated for a moment, and then pushed through the door.
"Well," Ross said. "Some small victories…Maybe even big ones. I have to get back to the office, Detectives." He studied Bobby. "Goren…I want you back in one piece…Take care of yourself."
Bobby slumped back on his pillows as soon as Ross left the room. Alex realized that the past minutes had cost him a great deal.
"Bobby…Are you all right? Should I call a nurse?"
"I…No…I'm just tired," Bobby answered.
"Yea…I think a lot of people are exhausted by dealing with the Chief," Alex said. She stepped closer to the bed.
"Thank you," Bobby said faintly. "For…for defending me…I need to let Ross know…how much…I appreciate it…"
"I'll let him know," Alex said. She gently touched his arm.
"The Chief…doesn't want me back…" Bobby muttered. "I wonder how many…" His voice faded as he drifted into sleep.
END CHAPTER TEN