Reason to Live

By mihoyonagi

Chapter 10

The day after Yuffie's so-called birthday, I promised to, in order to make up for the lack of gift, allow her to pick out something at the general store that was being built on the outskirts for town when it opened.

Her eyes had gone wide as saucers, and she squealed.

"Anything?"

Oh, no. I never said anything. "Anything within reason, Yuffie."

I don't know if she heard me or not. Her eyes had glazed over with the prospect of getting something that she wanted without having to lift a damn finger for it, other than having to point it out to me, of course.

Well, it was my own fault when, twenty two days later and still true to my word, we were arguing over what 'within reason' meant.

"You said anything within reason, Valentine! Chocolate is reasonable!"

"A five pound brick of Costa del Sol's finest chocolate is hardly what I'd call within reason, Yuffie."

"But it's my birthday present!" She stamped her foot, like a impatient child.

I covered my forehead with my hand, trying not to become flustered in public. She and I had been arguing like this, back and forth, for nearly five minutes.

"Yuffie, I'd honestly rather you ask for my mastered Cure materia than this."

"Really?!" She sounded like I was about to give her the winning lottery ticket.

I sighed. "It's a figure of speech. Do you honestly think I'm going to get you five pounds of chocolate? I know how you are around chocolate- the entire brick of it will be gone my morning, and you'll puke it up. And guess who is going to have to clean up your vomit, and baby you when you get the worse stomach ache of your life?"

"Leviathan be damned- Vincent, you're a dirty liar!"

Now people were starting to stare.

I bit my tongue to keep from snapping at her. "Fine. We'll compromise. I'll get you two and a half pounds, and we split it up so you can have some each day for a while, instead of gnawing on the whole damn thing at once."

"But I-"

"I know how you are around chocolate, Yuffie. You claim you'll be good, but as soon as I turn my back you will stuff yourself silly. Two and a half pounds, divided into pieces so you can have some each day, or none at all."

She stuck her lip out and pouted. "You're so mean!"

"Mean? Two and a half pounds of this is still going to cost me over a hundred gil. Costa del Sol chocolate is expensive. You're getting something for nothing. Take it or leave it."

Her nose scrunched, and she glared at me.

"Fine."

We divided the chocolate up when we got home, though she refused to say much to me the rest of the night.

I was quietly reading one of the newer books I'd borrowed from the library when Yuffie stomped up to me. She looked rather agitated.

Looking up from my book, I cocked an eyebrow. "Yes?"

She held out a bag of the chocolate we'd divided up, though she stayed silent.

I smiled, though only slightly. "It's yours. Keep it. I'm sorry I couldn't get you more."

She shook the bag at me, though still refusing to speak.

"Yuffie, I-"

"Dammit, Valentine; just take the bag. I'm offering you a truce. You didn't have to buy me anything, especially since my birthday was last month, but you're nice like that. So I want to share some of my spoils."

I held out my hand and took the bag, knowing that if I were to refuse again I might get the bag thrown at me. It wasn't often Yuffie shared anything, much less offered a truce.

Perhaps she was growing up.

"We gonna have a winter solstice party?"

The question caught me by surprise. "What day is it?"

She shrugged, easily. "Next Tuesday."

I didn't want to host a party, even if only for two. Still, I didn't want to earn Yuffie's scorn after just reaching somewhat of an agreement.

"How about we go out of town for it?"

She smiled at me, her eyes large and full of excitement. "You mean it?"

"Why not? We shouldn't be stuck up in this house all winter long."

I was going to regret this. Oh, Shiva, I knew I was going to regret this with everything fiber of my being. I hated social situations, being quite the introvert.

But I knew Yuffie loved to have fun, and maybe getting her out of the house for a while would get her out of my hair, too. Maybe she could find somewhere nice to have fun, and I could hole-up in a hotel room and read the next two in a series of science fiction novels I was beginning to enjoy.

"Where should we go?"

"What about Rocket Town?"

Yuffie scrunched her face up. "You want to party with Cid? That old fart?"

I could only imagine the expletive Cid would throw Yuffie's way for the insult she'd just paid him.

"If we go anywhere else, we'd have to take the buggy."

I hated that thing. I hated driving it, I hated siting in it, I hated the sounds and the smells inside of it. We'd left it outside of the city when our odd troupe had needed to pass through the mountains in order to continue our search for Sephiroth. Though the weeds had grown tall around it, the damned thing still worked. It was parked, rather unceremoniously, in the small stretch of yard on the right side of the house.

"How about Costa del Sol? It'd be nice to get some sunshine, and a little excitement. The people in this town aren't exactly what I'd call... fun."

She had a point.

"Alright. We'll leave tomorrow, but we'll have to drive most of the day to get there, so we'll need to head out early."

Yuffie squealed, jumped up and down, and promptly bolted upstairs to pack.

I had a bad feeling, in the pit of my stomach, that this trip wasn't going to end well.

The next morning, bright and early, we piled a single suitcase each into the backseat of the buggy and began our journey. It was a slow, unwelcome drive- much of the time spent trying to navigate over rough terrain. The supposed road hadn't been worked on or cleared out since the fall of ShinRa, and damage from rainfall was evident with every pothole I was forced to navigate around.

The drive should have taken us the better part of the day. By the time nightfall, we were only three quarters of the way there. While my vision had little trouble with darkness, the glare of the headlights in front of me had only succeeded in giving me a headache. I pulled of the road, and cut the engine.

Yuffie, who had been wide awake the entire drive so far, took her headphones off and looked at me expectantly. "We're stopping?"

I shrugged. "I don't think it safe to keep driving while it's so dark out. We'll just sleep here for the night, I suppose."

She made a face, dug through a bag she'd had at her feet for most of the drive, and pulled out two sandwiches. "I'm glad I packed these, then."

It was simple peanut butter and jelly, but it tasted decent enough on the fresh bread it had been made with. After we'd had our fill, Yuffie curled up on her seat while pressing it backwards. Letting out a contented sigh, she closed her eyes.

I reached into the backseat and pulled my book away from underneath the tangled mess that was Yuffie's open suitcase. She'd torn it open hardly half an hour after we'd started our journey, and pulled out from it books and a music player; simple things to keep her mind busy – and her mouth closed. It sounded cruel, but whatever she had been listening so intently to earlier had easily saved my sanity. Yuffie was chatty by nature- could you honestly imagine what it would have been like to be stuffed in a car with her, talking non-stop, for hours on end?

It had been nearly an hour, and a good portion of my book later, before Yuffie rolled over and faced me. "I can't sleep. Talk to me."

I put my book down, and turned to her. "About what?"

She sighed, bored. "I don't know. Why aren't you trying to sleep?"

The question was one born of honest curiosity. But behind it, the reason for my body not needing as much sleep as a normal human, was dark and something I didn't enjoy bringing up.

Still, she had asked. Honesty was something I'd always favored.

"The things that possess me have changed my cell structure. I don't need as much food or sleep as humans."

Her face scrunched. "You talk like you're not human."

My chest was tight. "For the most part, I'm not.

She blinked at me, undeterred. "Not human? Like, how?"

I looked at her, unsure of what to say. "Yuffie, I honestly don't know how many things possess my body; how many things swim through my blood. To say that I'm human would be a lie. Only my body is that of a human, and what remains of my mind."

"You take everything too seriously, Valentine. What's so great about being human?"

Her statement caught me by surprise. For years, I had wished that whatever creatures had been placed inside my body would leave me be. Yuffie looked at those inside me as an attribute.

"I mean, without the things inside of you, you're normal, like everyone else. There's nothing great about being normal. No one thinks twice about you. I mean, look at you; you're faster, smarter, and stronger than anyone else I know."

As I slowly began to think about Yuffie's odd statement, the more I began to realize that while my body partially belonged to whatever creatures used it as a host, I was, in fact, gifted with all of the things Yuffie had mentioned.

And only one of the demons within me had ever conversed.

Chaos had spoken to me, directly, on two separate occasions. The first had been when I'd woken up on Hojo's lab, completely and utterly abandoned. After I'd broken down and convinced myself that the world was better off without me, it was Chaos who'd led me to the coffin in which I'd spent the last three decades.

"Sleep," was all I'd heard.

The second was when Cloud and his band of merry men had woken me from said hibernation. It was when Cloud had mentioned Sephiroth's name that something inside of me stirred.

"Go," was the only thing said inside my mind.

Yuffie sighed. "I know that you're into all of this tortured soul crap, but honestly? I think you should respect what you have inside you more. I've only seen you let Chaos out when we're in big trouble, like the one time in the crater when you, me, and Cid ran into those Tonberries. We didn't stand a chance. But you let Chaos out. He fought, saved our asses, then gave you back your body. You have a power that lets you protect other people, Vincent. How is that bad?"

I couldn't tell if I was flattered or enraged.

I went with enraged.

"Do you have any idea what would happen if I lost control of Chaos? Can you imagine the carnage that would ensue?"

Yuffie scoffed. "Have you ever let him out long enough to see what he'd do?"

I opened my mouth- and had nothing to say.

Chaos didn't seem to have a vendetta against me, the host whose body he was trapped in. There were times where I felt urges emanate from him, lending me strength to keep going, but other than the two words of advice he'd given me Chaos was still a mystery to me.

"See?" Yuffie interjected before I could formulate a reply. "You don't even know what's going on inside your body. You lock yourself up tight, convinced these creatures would hurt those around you, but you've never asked their opinions, have you? Other than Chaos, how many others have names?"

"You're far too rational, Yuffie. These are demons we are talking about."

She rolled her eyes. "No, they are creatures. If they were demons, I don't think you'd have been able to ward off all of the evil they'd spread. You locked yourself in a coffin to prevent yourself from hurting anyone else in the world, and then you traveled all over seeking to fix your mistakes. When did your supposed 'demons' try to steer you wrong, try to kill those who fought beside you?"

I turned away from her, staring out into the darkness.

For someone so young, she understood the world better than nearly anyone I'd ever met. One minute I would think her as immature and childish, and the next she'd lecture me for the way I think, and tell me everything wrong with my train of thought.

"I've lived with you for how long now, Vincent? Just over six months? When have your demons tried to hurt me? When have they even thought of it?"

I was baffled by how correct her assumptions were. "How would you know if those inside me wanted to hurt you?"

She crossed her arms. "Body language. If you'd been fighting with whatever is inside you, it would have shown. Never once when I've been in your presence have you thought of doing something you'd regret. That, and you never try to avoid my company. If you'd wanted to hurt me, Vincent, you've had endless opportunities."

Silence filled up the car.

Yuffie rolled over and curled back up in her chair, sighing in annoyance. "God, now I'll never get to sleep. Some conversational partner you are."

And just like that, her child-like attitude was back.

For the third time since he'd been injected into my body, Chaos spoke.

"Perceptive, intelligent girl."

I closed my eyes and rested the back of my head against the headrest. A peculiar feeling washed over me, and I knew nothing would be the same again.