Furfaidz: mmmkay...I'm writing this chap! Here I go! -oh, and Thunder Bender Princess is helping me a bit with it (thank you!)

The motley pirate crew stood crowded on the rickety porch, waiting for Jack to tell them it was safe to enter. Pintel and Ragetti stood as close to the dock as possible, in case the need to "salvage" their immortal souls should arise.

Jack opened the door to the shack, followed closely by Emily, Will, a humming Megan, and Gibbs. When they entered, the first thing Janice noticed was a huge snake, but it went away quickly. At the small table sat a woman. She had dark skin and wore a dress that gave the impression of once being beautiful, but it was now tattered. When they entered, she looked up from her crab claws and smiled when she saw Jack.

"Jack Sparrow." She drawled with a smile playing across her face.

"Tia Dalma!" Jack cried, opening his arms, as if saying "ta da!"

"I always know de wind was goin' blow you back to me one day."

She got up from her table, sauntering over, then made a beeline for Will.

"Ah, you. You have a touch of...destiny about you, William Turner." She said, caressing Will's cheek.

"Yo-you know me?" Will asked.

"You want to know me." She smiled seductively.

Jack went in front of Will.

"There will be no knowing here! We've come for help and we're not leaving without it!" as he led her away to her table, "I thought I knew you."

"Not so well As I hoped. Come." Tia said.

"Come." Jack mimicked.

"Come." Janice repeated but was soon distracted by a shiny object.

"Don't worry. She doesn't bite." Megan reassured those who could see her.

Tia Dalma never left Will's gaze. " What service," she smiled as she approached Will and carressed his chin once again, " May I do you? Hmmm?" Her lips were close to Will's, " You know I demand payment..."

" He brought payment!" Emily pointed at Jack as she attempted to hall Tia Dalma away.

Jack whistled and a crewmember [little pirate man! laid the cage with Jack the Monkey in it onto Tia Dalma's table.

" Look!" Jack anounced gayly as he cocked his pistol and shot Jack the Monkey. " An undead monkey! Top that!"

Tia Dalma lifted the cage door and with much anticipation, the monkey sprinted out and up the stairs in the back of the cabin.

" No!" Gibbs complained, " You have no idea how long it took to catch that."

Tia Dalma sighs, " The payment if fair."

Jack pulls out the limp map of the key, " We're looking for this, and what it goes to."

Tia Dalma's forhead wrinkled, " The compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to dis?"

" It can lead him to rum." Megan whispered, thankfully unnoticed.

" Maybe." Jack continued his conversation with Tia Dalma, " Why?"

Tia Dalma smiled from ear to ear, "Ayeee... Jack Sparrow does not know what he wants! Or.. do you.. but are oath to claim it as your own. Your key go to a chest, and it is what lay inside the chest that you seek, don't it?"

" It do." Janice mimicked.

" What is inside?" Gibbs asked curiously.

Megan sneezed out, " His heart!"

Pintel's eyes lit up, " Gold! Jewels? Unclaimed properties of a valuable nature?!"

Megan sneezed, " His heart!"

Ragetti, who noticed a jar of eyeballs hanging next to his head added, " Nothing bad, I hope."

Megan once again sneezed out, " His heart!"

Will and Jack looked over to Megan, both complexed. Megan shrugged.

" It's allergy season." She said innocently.

Jack whispered over to her, " It's the middle of the summer, mate."

" Uh... I'm from Australia." she lied.

Tia Dalma turned to the crew. " You know of... Davy Jones, yes? A man of de sea. A great sailor, until he ran afoul of dat which vex all men."

" What vexes all men?" Will and Emily said in unison. Will said it as if he was concerened, Emily said it as if it would come in handy later.

Tia Dalma stared long into Will's eyes, " What indeed."

Gibbs, " The sea?"

Pintel, " Sums!"

Ragetti, " Dichotomy of good and evil?"

Emily turned to Ragetti, " What??"

Jack sigh impationtly, " A woman."

Tia Dalma nodded over to Jack, " A Wo-man. He fell in love."

Gibbs shook his head, " No-no-no-no, I heard it was the sea he fell in love with."

Tia Dalma rolled her eyes, " Same story, different versions." Her voice became more slow and serious. " And All Are Ture. See, it was a woman, as changing, and harsh, and untaimable as de sea. Him never stopped loving her. But de pain dat caused 'im was too much to live wid. But Not Enough To Cause Him To Die."

" What exactly did he put in the chest?" asked Will.

Tia Dalma smiled up at him and placed her right hand over her bosom. " Him heart."

" I told you!" Megan protested.

" More like you sneezed it." Jack corrected.

" Literally or figuratively?" Ragetti asked, stealing Tia Dalma's attention from Jack.

Pintel lashed out his hands at Ragetti's idiocity, " You couldn't li'erally put a heart in a chest!" He turned his head to Tia Dalma, " Could he?"

Tia Dalma strolled around her log hut, " It was not wort' feeling what... small fleeting joy life brings, and so... him carved out him heart, lock it away in a chest, and hid de chest from de world. De keys he keep wid him at all times."

Will, in complete rage and furor, rose up from his seat and glared at Jack with hidden anger fuming from his eyes. " You knew this!"

Jack, as innocently as Megan tried to pull off earlier, replied, " I did not."

Megan, who was whistling by, sang out, " Li-er, li-er, pants on fire, hanging by a telephone wire!"

" I didn't know where the key was." Jack continued, stealing glances of annoyence over to Megan, " But now we do. So all that's left is to climb aboard the Flying Dutchman, grab the key, go back to Port Royal, and save your bonnie lass, hey!" Jack pushed Megan toward Tia Dalma in such a way that it was easy to miss. Megan grabbed her balance as quick as possible but not without noticing the hand that pushed her.

Megan saw a napkin wrapped around Jack's right hand. " What happened to his hand?" Megan asked herself, then Tia Dalma's head shot up.

Tia Dalma stared at Jack's hand and lifted hers a bit, palm up. " Let me see your hand," she said sternly to Jack. Jack huffed angerly at Megan and reluctantly tossed his paw over Tia Dalma's. Tia Dalma unwrapped the bandage to reveal the black spot.

Gibbs gasped, " The black spot!" He quickly wiped his hands on his chest and spinned around once to the left then spit on the floor.

" Ewe." Emily grimanced.

Ragetti and Pintal both said in unison, " The black spot!"

And mimicked Gibb's moves down to the spitting.

" You guys are disgusting." Emily said.

Jack Sparrow, feeling a little hurt, withdrew his hand, " My eyesights' as good as ever, just so you know."

Tia Dalma remembered something and pushed the curtains into the back room, rummaging around. While she was in there, Megan caught sight of boots, belonging to a pirate, of course... but who? Megan had a hard time remembering.

" I am just..." Tia Dalma mumbled, " My little... Where are you?..." everything else was inaudible.

" Someone's a little coocoo." Whispered Emily to Will, who nodded.

" Hey!" Janice said, thinking the remark was directed to her.

" Not you." Emily said. " Well..."

Megan cut in, " She's coming back."

" Do women always bicker like this?" Will asked.

Jack rocked back and forth, " Not when their drunk."

Will whispered, " Only you would know..."

Tia Dalma walked back out with a jar of dirt.

" Davy Jones cannot make port. Cannot step on land but once every ten years. Land is where your safe, Jack Sparrow. And so you will carry land wit you..."

She handed him the jar of dirt. Janice saigh, " Awe man, I want one!"

" I only have dis wit me." Tia Dalma said, motioning at the jar of dirt in her hands.

Emily smiled at her, " It's okay, one's good enough."

Jack took the jar with little respect. " Dirt. This is a jar of dirt."

" Yes?" Tia Dalma said.

Jack examined the jar with little curtisy. " Is the... jar of dirt going to help?"

Tia Dalma shrugged, " If you don't want it, give it back."

" I'll have it!" Janice said.

Jack Sparrow clutched the jar closer to him, " No!"

" Dang." Janice whispered in defeat.

Tia Dalma didn't leave Jack's face, " Den it helps." She went to sit down at her table, leaving the curtained room unprotected.

Megan looked back over to the spare room behind the curtain and noticed that the boots were missing, that meant he was awake and she didn't want the suprise to this mysterious man be spoiled just yet.

Megan smiled and pointed at the door, " Let's go. It's getting late."

Will nodded at Megan and turned to Tia Dalma, " It seems... we have a need to find the Flying Dutchman."

Before they could leave, Tia Dalma cupped the crab shells and closed her eyes.

" A touch," she said, " of destiny!"

The crab shells hit the table like a magnet at its mark.

Furfaidz: Yeah, i'm a genius : thanks for the help, Thunder! Or else I would of never known how to write it out. Alright guys, now here comes the hard part... move your mouse pointer towards the dropout at the bottom left hand corner, thats it..good reveiwer... now go through it till you hit the comment box, you're doing well, mind slave, and now... gasp review!

Muhahahahaha!!