Time Together Is Just Never Quite Enough Chapter 6, a twilight fanfic

My bad if you got this twice. FF is pissing me off.

Thanks for all the reviews and support. Especially the funny comments, they make my day so much better.

Another chapter. Let's hit play...

"Would you just get on your side?" I asked for the millionth time, except this time I threw in an elbow in the ribs.

"I'd rather just get inside you."

"Classy."

"You know what they say about musicians," he replied chuckling.

"No, what do they say?"

He stared at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I don't really know…I don't have a witty remark to that…I was just putting it out there."

"Epic fail, Eddy."

"Don't call me that."

"Will you get back on your own side if I do?"

"I like the Bella who tells me to shut up all the time, what happened to her?"

"She showed your mother her bearded oyster and ran away."

"Sounds like my kind of girl."

"Do your parents even know you've left?"

"No."

"That's stupid."

"Do your parents know you went to New York this week?"

I didn't answer.

"That's what I thought."

"Shut up."

"There's my Bella!" He was grinning.

That evil, Mrs. Cullen, Cheshire cat grin.

I flinched.

He raised an eyebrow.

"You look like Satan when you smile like that."

"Hey, don't talk about my mother like that."

I laughed and applauded him on that remark.

"I like your crooked smile."

"What the hell is a crooked smile? It sounds like my smile is broken."

"No, just cute. It's not like your brain, it actually works."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. Why do you like my crooked smile so much?"

"It reminds me of your father."

Edward moved back to the other side.

And pouted.

VICTORY!

I stretched out on the bench and watched out the window. I watched the same scenery pass by, only in reverse motion. The trees were the same color, nothing had changed.

Except for me.

And I'm pretty sure Mrs. Cullen was changed too; never again could she look at Edward's bedspread and not think of me.

I smiled to myself.

"Who is smiling like my mother now?" Edward asked.

I stopped smiling immediately.

"I'm hungry."

"You just had orange chicken."

"I have cancer."

"Like that really works, try 'I'm horny' then maybe I'll do something."

"Ass."

"Pig."

"That sounds good too. Let's get some pork fried rice."

"Now you're making me hungry."

"So get some food."

"Why do I have to do it?"

"Because…I said so."

"Oh real mature."

"Okay, how about I embarrassed the hell out of myself in front of your family, my ex-boyfriend moved on more quickly than I did, and I have a month to a year to live?"

"I'll go find something."

Edward left and I grabbed my mom's diary and my iPod.

"I Love Rain the Most" by Joe Purdy and Renee Swan's words.

Nothing better.

Today, we brought home Bella's sister. She is the most gorgeous baby in the world. She has my light hair and Charlie's dark eyes, unlike Bella who has Charlie's muddy hair and his eyes. She was an easy delivery, I was practically laughing the whole time. Charlie even enjoyed himself, which most men wouldn't have, and I was thankful he didn't leave me for a second, determined to see this new baby come into the world. This heavenly infant floated into the world on a cloud and is a bundle of perfection…

I couldn't read anymore.

It was just too…much.

I wasn't jealous of my step-sister's adoration. But it made my stomach nauseous and a weight come over my body. Over my eyelids, over my stomach, over my shoulders, and even over tongue.

It was one of those insecurities where you weren't sure if you were good enough.

I knew Charlie and Renee loved me.

Excuse me, I mean Mom and Dad.

But they weren't like normal parents. They let their love for the new daughter take over and I became Bella…the other one.

The sister.

The daughter.

Never, Bella.

Just someone's relative.

I once thought about writing down everything in my life too, sort of a present for my mom, and send it to her.

Let her see how I saw the life we had.

But I wasn't going to ruin another person's day, week, month, life, or whatever.

I'm just going to live my life the way I want to and die peacefully.

They were happy. I didn't want to ruin that. Who could blame me?

The door opened and I put the diary away, feeling better once it was out of sight: like it didn't exist.

"There is nothing to eat," Edward whined and then sat down on me.

"God you weigh a ton, I might just eat you."

"Can I eat you?" He smirked.

I shoved him off.

He hit the floor.

I sighed and looked out the window.

"I'm a scary grinner and you are the sigh-and starer."

"Yea, well, bite me."

"I just asked if I could." His eyebrows went up and down, like the cocky, arrogant man he was.

And God, I loved it.

You mean him.

IT.

I loved IT.

Shut up, Conscience.

"We should have stolen food from my parent's house."

"Sorry, I was too busy flashing your mom."

"You've said that like a million times, you need new material."

"Well, until you show my mom your twig and berries, you have no room to talk."

"You're comparing it to a twig? Now, we both know you didn't fake those orgasms."

"It was a figure of speech."

"You could have said…cannon and cannonballs."

"That is stupid."

"Not as stupid as twig and berries."

"But it's much shorter."

"Oh, so now you're saying I don't have any…length?"

I smiled.

The "Mrs. Cullen" smile.

Edward cringed.

"Okay I see what you mean about that smile."

I smiled wider.

"Anything else you'd like to say about my package? You want to start bagging on my girth? You know, I think you've already cut off my balls and made them earrings."

"You like my small stones?" I said pointing to my ears.

Edward didn't look amused.

"You're the spawn of Satan."

"Technically, you are."

He banged his head against the wall, he still sat on the ground.

"Just so you know, I hate you," he said absentmindedly.

"I remember you telling me that you liked me yesterday. I was the one who didn't feel that way."

"Well now that I know you, I have made an executive decision not to like you."

"Yea, you and your mother."

"Your mom," Edward chuckled, mimicking me. I rolled my eyes, but snickered right after. A good "your mom" joke was always funny, but hilarious at just the right moment. Also, finishing every sentence with "in bed" or "if you know what I mean" was equally uproarious.

"I don't think I will ever forget the look on her face when I told her we were married."

"I can't wait for Christmas, with all the relatives there, and you telling her that I impregnated you."

"You think I'll be here then?" I said cynically.

"Not with that attitude," he replied.

And I don't know why.

But I snapped.

"Oh really, Edward. Well, what kind of attitude should I have? 'Cuz I really would like to know what you did when you had cancer, oh that's right, you have never had it!"

"Just because I'm sick doesn't mean I don't know what it's like to lose a friend or—"

"Or what? You know what it's like to be dying? Well, please, tell me! What is it like? I'd really like to know."

My tone was an octave higher than yelling.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" I was standing up, chest to chest, with him.

"I just meant that you should be positive."

"Oh bullshit, don't even try and act like Jake."

He looked like I had just shot him.

The anger wiped away from his face, white took over and he looked pale.

Like he was deathly.

Like me.

"Edwa—"

"Don't." He said putting his hand up. "Don't you ever say that I am anything like that idiot."

And then he left.

He just walked out.

Great, Bella. Another one bites the dust.

Shut up, Conscience.

I felt the fury dissipate and weakness take over. I sat down, taking deep breaths, trying to stay conscious.

In and out. In and out. In and out. I let my chest inhale with as much oxygen as I could and exhale the same amount.

Good, very good, Bella.

My conscience also thought it had a MD and was my personal physician.

I didn't know where Edward was but I wasn't sure I cared.

Of course you do.

Okay, really, Conscience. I'm going to rip you out and feed you to the birds if you don't shut up.

What did I even say that upset him? Don't be like Jake. Well that's not harsh at all. I wasn't Jake's biggest fan at the moment and Edward was nothing like him, which is why I liked him so much.

That and the delicious sex-hair he is always sporting.

Oh whatever, Edward will get over it.

And just like that, the door was opening and in came Edward.

"Speak of the devil," I spoke.

He said nothing, just sat down and stared out the window.

"This is the part where you make a joke about you not being your mother," I quipped.

He continued staring.

And then he looked down at his hands.

"Don't ever say I am like Jake. I've been a much better friend than Jake ever was," he said stiffly.

"You think Jake wasn't a good friend?" I scoffed. "Jake took care of me, that would constitute him as a good friend in most peoples' books."

"Well not in mine, alright?"

"What constitutes a good friend then, in your book?" I crossed my arms.

"I don't need someone holding my hair when I puke over the toilet, I've got two hands. I don't need someone making me ABC soup and adding oyster crackers, I've got two legs. And I don't need someone pretending that I don't exist anymore because I have a sickness that will eventually kill me."

We didn't speak for several minutes.

"You may be right that you don't need someone to hold your hair or make you soup, but it sure beats the hell out of getting up and doing it yourself when you'd rather just lay in bed and wait to die," I spoke as my voice rose. "And you may be right that Jake acted like I wasn't there anymore, just some patient to take care, but he was caring. He was there every day making sure I had soup and my hair was out of my face. So excuse me for telling you not to be like that, that I'm a patient for you to take care of. But now that I think about it, I'm glad he did it for me."

"So you're allowed to speak badly about him and how much he just didn't get 'it' but the rest of us aren't?"

"No, I shouldn't have even said those things. I was biting the hand that fed me and I feel terrible about that. I was just so scared that that was my life. I was scared that I would stay in bed every day, slowly dying, and Jake would just be there with a smile and a wet towel. He was a good friend, maybe not in your definitions or mine, but as everyone else would call it, he was there for me. And that's all you can ask of people."

Edward shook his head and scoffed. "You think that's caring?"

"Absolutely," I answered before he could continue. "Because I don't want to die alone and I know that without Jake, I would have." Tears had started at the corners of my eyes.

I wish I was born without tear ducts.

Edward and I stared at each other for several minutes, until I knew I was going to break down. I turned my head away from him and focused on the wall, allowing my tears to evaporate and not leak down my face.

"Then by your definitions, you don't care about me," Edward replied matter-of-factly.

"What are you talking about?"

"You think a friend who cares would humiliate you to your mother? You think a friend who cares would dump something as big as marriage on their friends' parents? Because in relation to what you just said that would mean you don't care about me at all."

"Humiliate you? Humiliate you to your mother? Edward who was the one who just threw me to the sharks? Your mother hated me from the moment she saw me and you did nothing, NOTHING, to help me. You just let her ravage upon me until I had no choice. I was drowning and you didn't help, so I pulled you under with me. If I'm going, you're going too."

"I'm sure your precious Jake would have saved you."

"Oh stop with the whining," I said getting up, starting to pace. "You did nothing to help me and I was defenseless. I was the runt and you gave me up to the bully."

"You could stop with the metaphors," Edward sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"So don't you dare say that I humiliated you! Don't you ever, EVER, say that I humiliated you! I was humiliated. And the best part? I just let it happen. I stayed for you! So that means that I don't care? Well…then I'm done not caring."

"You know what Bella? In a couple of hours you will be rid of me and we'll never see each other again."

"Yea, well I'm okay with that."

"Good."

We sat on our benches.

Still angry.

Still hurt.

And still annoyed.

But we didn't speak.

We didn't look at each other. Much.

I stared out the window, listening to music that made me envision me beating Edward Cullen to a pulp and then hiding the body parts in random luggage throughout the train.

I kept repeating the same words in my head.

Murder is against the law.

It's illegal.

You will go to jail.

And then the other side of my brain was saying something completely different.

No one would know.

We could hide the evidence.

Take him out with his guitar.

The sun was taking over the sky now and daylight was full effect. I hadn't slept in a couple of days and my body was becoming exhausted, but I had a strange feeling that if I went to sleep, something bad would happen.

Edward would go through my things.

Edward would suffocate me to death.

But worst of all, Edward would leave.

My mind was playing tricks on me and I was starting to lose my focus, everything blurry.

And then my body shifted and I was lying on the bench.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?" I heard Edward say, but his face was too fuzzy.

"My body…it's…tired…" I whispered.

"Shh, I got you, everything is going to be okay." I felt arms wrap around me and bring me to the floor, still being supported by his body.

I don't remember saying thank you, but I do remember thinking it.

Hopefully, it transferred out.

I fell asleep and dreamt of nothing.

When I woke, I was still in the same position.

I made a funny gurgling noise and Edward shifted, to see my face I presume.

"You're up," he whispered as he brushed the hair out of my face.

He cared.

I smiled slightly, still groggy.

"I'm sorry," I whispered in reply.

"It's no big deal. It's probably my fault for keeping you up and not letting you get any rest."

"No, I mean for your mom."

"I was angry; I didn't mean any of the things I said. I actually enjoyed watching you getting my mom in a frenzy."

"Really?"

"Really. And what I said about Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't mean that either. I just…just didn't want to think that I could never fill his shoes."

"Are you planning on being around?"

Please say yes.

"Well, you are my wife."

A slight smirk came to his lips.

We were okay.

Not good, but okay.

"How long do we have before we get home?"

"Less than an hour."

"I slept that long?"

"Instead of saying a smartass comment, I'm just going to nod my head," Edward replied nodding.

We were going to be good.

"You must be sore from being in this position for so long."

"I'm okay, do you still feel dizzy?"

"A little. I need to get some crackers in my stomach, they are in my bag, will you get them for me?"

Edward grabbed the sack and gave me a couple of crackers to chew on.

They felt wonderful to my body.

"About what you said about being scared that your life was just full of days in bed and watching Jake act like nothing was wrong?"

I nodded for him to go on.

"Why did that bother you?"

"Because…it wasn't….enough."

"But someone cared for you," Edward spoke solemnly. "Someone cared about you enough to put your needs in front of his own."

I never thought about it like that.

"It felt more like I was a chore."

Edwards eyebrows knitted together.

"Like I didn't exist, just a corpse to be fed.

He still didn't understand.

"I wanted more. I didn't want to die that way. I would have rather had sex in your mom's house and been married in a moving vehicle than lay in that bed and just let death claim me."

And then he smiled.

He understood.

I didn't want Jake to just let me lay there. I wanted him to push me into living. I wanted him to keep me going.

But he gave up.

I could see it on his face.

So I packed my bags and went to New York.

And I found Edward.

"That's why I like you so much," Edward smiled. His fingers were playing with the ends of my hair.

"You just have to see that I know when my end is going to be, it's coming, and I want to live life to the fullest for as long as I can."

"Then I have a plan."

"Which is?"

"You'll see."

The smile.

The smirk.

The raised eyebrows.

They were all there.

But I wasn't scared.

I was happy.

This feeling was back and he brought it.

Again.

And again.

"When will I know this plan?"

"When we get off the train."

I couldn't figure out what he had up his sleeve, but I was excited for it.

Because it meant more time with him.

"I need to go make some calls, you should sleep some more. We're going to have a lot to do."

I nodded as Edward lifted me and then placed me back down so he could leave.

"You trust me?" He whispered as he brushed back my hair.

He cared.

"Yes," I yawned.

He kissed my temple and then I heard the door shut behind him.

Before I could even think of what was to come, my body yanked me back into another dreamless sleep.

Well because of this chapter, the story might be a little longer than usual.

So their first fight. Aren't they just the cutest?

Thoughts??