I am sooooooooooooooo sorry. I know I promised to update weekly...but I just got so busy. College applications, working, homework, musical practice. But I am back! I hope that you are all still interested in the story. I hope I didn't lose readers.

Okay, new chapter.

I don't own anything...really..I'm 17...what do I actually own?

Twilight belongs to Stephenie.

The quote is by unknown.

Songs- Fifteen- Taylor Swift

Think of you- A fine Frenzy

Reviews lets me know that you are still here and dedicated to the story.

Chapter 4

Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.----Unknown

"You wanted to talk to me?" Leah asked her boyfriend as the two of them walked on the beach. There weren't many people on the beach that day. It was an early Saturday morning, the rain was gone, at least for the time being. The sun was just starting to poke out from behind the clouds. Besides Sam and Leah, there were only a few more people on the beach, 3 young children that were splashing each other down in the waves and a woman that was laying on a beach towel, watching her children play. Leah was acquainted with the woman. The woman's husband worked with her dad...or something along those lines. With La Push's population being only 750 people, everyone knew everyone..along with everyone's business as well.

Leah turned to Sam, waiting for him to respond. Sam didn't look too good. He looked exhuasted. He walked with his hands deep in his pockets, looking only at the ground. "Sam?" Leah asked. Sam sighed and stopped walking. He turned to look at her. "Leah...I can't be with you anymore," he said. Leah's breath got caught in her throat. "W-what?" she managed to choke out. "Sam...why are you saying this? Stop it." Sam sighed. 'I'm sorry," he said, turning away from her. Leah grabbed his arm. "Does this have anything to do with you disappearing a few months ago?" she asked, tears filling her eyes. "Lee Lee, don't cry," Sam said softly. "Answer my question!" she snapped, the tears falling from her eyes now. Sam pulled his arm away. "I'm sorry," he told her again. He leaned in, kissed her lips softly, and walked away. Leah watched him until she could no longer see him before sinking to her knees. She hugged her arms around herself tightly and cried.

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And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
who changed his mind and we both cried
Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
Your gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall

Leah groaned as the alarm clock radio started to play. "Shut up," she snapped, hitting the off button on the clock. She rolled over and groaned. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, that was the worse dream in the world...or was it nightmare? Leah hated being here, she hated reliving all of these memories.

She threw the blankets off of her and stood up. She grabbed some clothes and her make up bag and left the room. She tiptoed across the living room, past Seth who was snoring loudly on the couch's pull out bed, and to the bathroom. It was when Leah was washing her hair when yesterday's events at her childhood home came back to her. She laughed to herself. She must have been crazy to run out of the house like a scared little girl. Obviously someone had to have broken into the house. That was when she decided that she needed to go back to the house and finish the job that she knew she had to do. The job that she had to finish so she can return home. However, she had something she had to do first.

Leah left the bathroom to find Jake and Seth already awake, and eating in the kitchen. "About time," Seth cried as he ran past her and into the bathroom, slamming the door. Leah laughed and looked at Jake. "Was I in there that long?" she asked. Jake laughed and scraped some eggs from a pan onto a plate. "Well you were in there before we even woke up. We've been up for over an hour now, so you answer the question." Leah laughed. "I'm sorry," she cried. "I just had things on my mind and I think better in the shower." Jake laughed scooping some homefries and bacon onto the plate and setting it down in front of her. "Don't worry about it," he said. He handed her a fork and and cup of coffee. "Thank you," she said and started to dig into the food.

A minute later, they heard the toilet flush. The two laughed as Seth walked out of the bathroom. "What?" he asked. Leah and Jake's respone was just more laughter. "What?" Seth asked again, only this time was more of a whine. Leah shook her head as she turned back to her head. Jake sipped from his coffee mug, grinning at Seth. Seth crossed his arms and pouted. "Don't laugh at me," he muttered. Leah finished eating and stood up. She carried the plate to the sink and washed it off. She blinked and looked at the door as she heard a thundering of footsteps on the stairs. The door burst open and Quil and Embry made their way into the room. "Leah!" the two of them cried in unison. Leah laughed and walked over to them. She took turns hugging them. "God, we missed you," Embry cried. Quil nodded in agreement. "I bet you have Embry," Leah teased. "But not Quil over here, he's probably been too busy with Claire." "That's not true!" Quil cried. "I've missed you."

Leah laughed. "How old is she now?" she asked. "Thirteen," Quil replied with a groan. Leah laughed. "Good luck with her teenage years," Quil just groaned in response. Embry, Jake, and Seth laughed at their friend. Leah smiled. "Well, I'd like to stay and chat boys, but I have some homework to do," she said as she walked out of the room. She walked into her temporary bedroom and grabbed her bookbag and laptop case off of the floor. She walked out of the room to find that all the guys had migrated into the living room. "I'm heading to the library, see you all later," she said and headed to the door. "Leah, don't forget, we have another appointment with the funeral director at four," Seth called to her.

Leah hesitated at the door. God how she wished this was over...she couldn't help but feel anxious about what happened the day before. Just when she thought she got over that. Leah didn't realize she was shaking until Seth's voice broke her from her thoughts. "Leah, did you hear me?" "Yeah, I remember, I'll...see you then," Leah replied and quickly opened the door. She stepped onto the stairs and closed the door. She rushed down the stairs and through the garage. She stepped outside and was surprised to see the sun was shining for once, but Leah knew the sunshine wouldn't last. She knew it would be raining soon. Leah walked slowly to the library. She looked around at everything, as if she was seeing it for the first time. Leah had to laugh at herself. She was acting like a tourist in her own hometown. But she couldn't pull her eyes away from anything. Was this possible? Had she really missed home this much?

............

No, she hated it here. She had to get through the funeral and clear out the house. And then, she would be free to go home. Leah quickened her pace a bit and walked to the library. The library's location was familar to Leah. She could get there with her eyes closed if she wanted too. There wasn't much you could do on the rez. The children and teenagers of LaPush didn't have many places to go. If you had money, popular places to hang out at was the movie theater, bowling ally, and little restuarant on the rez. But if you were the many teenagers who didn't have much money to spend, the hang out spots were the beach, the library, and yes...school. Most of the times, people didn't leave the school until well over 8:00 at night. Yes, the children of LaPush were deprived.

Leah walked through the library door and stopped, looking around. She smiled. She was happy to say that everything was still the same since she had last been there 10 years ago. Hell, who was she kidding? Nothing changed at all. It was set up the same way since she was a little girl...probably the same way since her mother was a little girl. Nothing ever changed on the rez....Leah saw this as she was making her way to the library.

The library was small. It was a small, white brick building. When you walked inside, you were in the biggest room in the whole place. The librarbian's desk was in the center of the room. Behind her desk was a door that led to a small storage room and a restroom. Two book shelves lined the far right wall. Yearbooks, from the rez school, and movies were held on those shelves. A doorway beside the bookshelves led to the childrens' books. Another door beside that room led to the young adult books. On the far left side of the room were four more tall bookshelves filled with adult novels. Leah laughed softly to herself. Yes, everything was still the same. The only difference was the five new computers that were set up on tables near the door and librarbian's desk.

"Wow, am I a child of the '90's or what?" she muttered to herself with a small laugh. Leah decided that she would sit in the young adult section to work on her essay, as she started to walk toward the doorway, the librarbian stepped out of her little storage area. She took one look at Leah and gasped. "Oh my...little Leah Clearwater!" the woman cried. Leah smiled a little. "Yeah..it's me," Leah replied slowy. "So grown up," the librarbian cried. Leah smiled a little, awkwardly, and nodded. The librarbian's name was Jean. She was around her mother's age. She had long graying hair and dark eyes. Jean knew Leah and Seth since they were small children. Everyone knew everyone on the rez.

"Just came here to do some homework," Leah told her. "Oh, yes...your mother had said you were in school...a doctor eh?" Jean asked. Leah nodded. Jean hesitated. "I'm sorry...about your mother...she was an amazing woman. She will be missed terribly." she said softly, as she grabbed a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. Leah nodded slowly. "Yeah...she was amazing," she replied. Jean sighed. "What can you do. When it's your time, the good lord calls you home," Leah stayed silent. She felt very umcomfortable discussing religion. "Well, I will leave you to your homework," Jean told her. Leah nodded. "Um..can I have the password to the wireless internet?" she asked slowly. "Oh right," Jean cried, catching a glance at the laptop case in the young woman's hands. She opened a desk drawer and pulled out a little card. She handed it to Leah. Leah forced a smile and walked into the young adult section. She sat down at the table in the middle of the room. She pulled out her laptop and turned it on. As she waited for her laptop to boot up, she pulled a couple textbooks from her bookbag and opened them to the chapters. She typed in the wireless code and went to work.

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Leah finished her essay and sighed in relief. She hit the save button and looked at the time on her cell phone. It was close to four. Leah groaned and stood up. She closed her books and pushed them in her bookbag. She shut down her laptop and put it back into its case. She crumpled up the piece of paper that she used to make notes on and tossed the crumpled piece of paper over her shoulder. Leah paused. She used to do that all the time when she did her homework there before, but was there a garbage can still there? Leah turned and glanced over her shoulder. She laughed a little when she saw the garbage can and that her crumpled piece of paper was in it.

Leah grabbed her stuff and walked out of the room. Jean was sitting at her desk. "Goodbye Jean," Leah called as she headed to the door. "Goodbye Leah, take care of dear, I'm sure I'll see you again," Jean replied. Leah nodded and opened the door, stepping outside into the sun. "Wow, no rain yet," Leah muttered to herself. She walked down the library steps and froze.

There.

Across the street.

Sam.

Leah felt her chest tighten. Butterflies filled her stomach. It was him. He was walking down the street. He looked.....

Gorgeous.

Perfect.

Like Sam.

Leah's breath caught in her throat. She couldn't move...or even call out to him.

.........

Did she want to call out to him?

Leah continued to watch him. He didn't see her which was a relief to her. She didn't think she was ready for him to see her again. Was she finally strong enough?

The clenching of her chest, the butterflies in her stomach, the breath catching in her throat....all pointed to no.

Leah watched Sam continue down the street and into a hardware shop. The moment she lost sight of him, breathing came back to her. Her chest unclenched, if only slightly and the butterflies disappeared...but only some. She put the little earbuds in her ears and turned on her I-Pod as she started to speedwalk to the funeral home, trying desperately to think of something other than Sam. But the words from her I-Pod didn't help one bit.

I should be happy now
You got yourself a family
And you planted roots down by the sea
I saw you once on the street
You didn't notice me

But I think of you
Whenever life gets me down
I think of you
Whenever you're not around
And you rest your bones
Somewhere far from my own
Yeah, but you still pull me home

Leah groaned and quickly changed the song. The words of Lady Gaga quickly filled her ears and Leah used the fast beat of the song to powerwalk to the funeral home.

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