What Doesn't Kill You Chapter 21: Breaking Point, a batman begins/dark knight fanfic

A/N: Heyy, i really like this chapter, and i hope you do too! I just bought the book Joker by Brian Azzarello, and its AMAZING. you should definitely check it out if you liked the Dark Knight :] Anyway, this is a bigggg chapter, important wise, so please read and Revieww

Disclmaimer: Only Own Annabelle, quote at the end is owned by Steven King.

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The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.

- Bob Stein

We can't help ourselves. We see a line, we want to cross it. Maybe it's the thrill of trading the familiar for the unfamiliar. A sort of personal dare. Only problem is, once you've crossed it's almost impossible to go back.

The girl was still on the ground, crying endless tears of fear. And I stood in front of her, gun cocked and ready to shoot. My finger rested on the trigger, ready at a moments notice to pull it, ending her cries.

The Joker still stood behind me, holding my arms in place, giggling wildly.

" Are ya gonna pull the uh trigger?" He asked into my ear, pressing himself against me. His voice was rough, and at the same time comforting in a way.

I didn't respond.

I was torn. I could pull the trigger, killing this innocent girl. Who probably wasn't any older than me, and I doubt she had done anything worth dying for. Or I could drop the gun, step away, and not kill her. But what would happen if I didn't? The Joker would most definitely not be happy.

The Joker moved removed one of his hands from mine and trailed it up my arms and traced the side of my face before settling on my head. His touch was soft and comforting. But, he was a great actor.

Seconds after placing his hand on my head, he grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled my head around to look at him. His face was emotionless, just plain. There wasn't any anger, or rage, just simple nothingness.

But when he spoke, his voice dripped with acid.

" Pull the trig-ger Annabelle. Now." He said, and his voice sent chills down my spine. But I didn't shake.

I was standing there with a mass murderer. A mass murderer. Someone who could kill me in an instant, with no reason. My heart rate is jacked, but my hand, steady. That's what I figured out about myself during my time with the Joker. My hand does not shake. Ever.

But I couldn't bring myself to put that ounce of pressure on the trigger. Something inside of me wouldn't allow it, a part of me didn't want to be a monster.

The Joker still held my hair in an iron grip, and my eyes were still locked on his face. I still hadn't pulled the trigger, even though moments ago I had been so willing. Maybe actually being here, ready to do the deed, faltered my resolve. It brought up memories of that night. But honestly, were they so bad?

I had ended a man's life, but if he had been doing what exactly it was he was doing, was it really such a bad thing. Karma's a bitch, he had to of had it coming.

" Are you uh scared darling?" he asked, unusually soft. And I almost didn't answer, but deciding on nodding anyway. His lips curled up into a devious smile and he stepped away from me, turning to circle the girl on the ground.

" You shouldn't be. Everyone in this city deserves to uh die for one thing or another. No one gets away scotch free. If your in this damn city, you've fucked up somewhere in your life." he said placating, shooting a glance my way. " Isn't that right, girly." he said to the girl, reaching out to touch her cheek, but she pulled away roughly, only causing him to laugh.

" Ya see. Right now, she looks innocent. But at night, she's a different story. At night she's out selling herself on the streets! Giving herself for the right price, but everything's not about money. That's what she needs to understand, that's what this entire city needs to understand. Even you Princess." he said, a little more harsher than before, and he was still circling the girl, whose cries were growing louder by the second.

"Luck. That's what it all boils down to, doesn't it? The smallest break one way or another. It can change uh a life or destroy it. And you can't fight it. No matter how strong you are." The Joker stopped his circling, and faced me, his tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip.

"They've got you trapped. This entire city is a prison for you and your so called 'new life' And you're gonna die if you uh don't break free. Maybe not right away because you're strong but... sooner or later that fire that drew me to you, Annabelle... that fire's gonna uh burn out…" He said the last part slowly, his last sentence hanging in the air, and I closed my eyes tightly. Maybe if I tried hard enough, everything would just go away. This city, this gun, this girl, all of it would just disappear. I wouldn't be forced to make a decision I wasn't ready to make.

But this was real, and a decision had to be made. The Joker was looking at me, his eyes dancing as he stalked towards me.

" Its not your job to save me alright." I spat at him bitterly, mostly because he looked angry. I hated when he was angry, trying to intimidate me. I wasn't a little kid, I could make my own decisions, and peer pressure wasn't going to work on me.

" Your right doll. Only you can do that." He barked at me, his tone just as bitter, but there wasn't anger behind it, more surprise than anything else I could decipher.

I felt a sudden rush of confidence over take me as my blood ran hot. This situation was really starting to piss me off, and I didn't like that. Not at all.

" And what are you gonna do if I don't pull this trigger huh? Are you gonna kill me? Cause sorry Hun, I'm not afraid of death." I said to him, my voice rising, and I lowered the arm holding the gun. He only looked at me, his smile returning.

" Why don't I just kill you. End all our struggles. With you out of the picture Gotham could be a much better place, free from the tricks of your stupid shit. And hate to break it to you darling but makeup is for girls." I spat angrily, pointing the gun in his direction. He was bent over, he was laughing so hard, but that only fueled my anger more.

Exasperated I spoke. " What's so god damn funny?" my voice was calmer, but still held the same anger as before. He looked up, his paint cracking with his laughter as he pointed to me.

" He he. You. You just kill me with your brave little ranting. Its so cute." he replied, and then he continued, holding back his laughter.

" I uh know your not afraid of death, cause your just. Like. Me. Don't deny it princess you know it too. And killing me wont stop any other loony from uh taking over. I started something, and the only way its gonna end is with Gotham City in flames. He he. Oh and by the way, that feeling your getting right about now. The feeling that's makin your blood boil and your face hot. The tingle your getting as you hold that gun in your hands. Its something familiar. It feels good doesn't it. It makes you wanna break something, hurt something, maybe even kill something? And it wont go away until you do just that. So go ahead, pull the trigger. I'm uh standing right here. Waiting."

He said to me, stepping closer. He had his arms outstretched as he stopped, three feet in front of me. And he was right. That tingling sensation that I was feeling felt amazing, and I loved it, but I also wanted, no. I didn't want to do it, I needed to do it. I needed to use this gun. Now.

The Joker was a perfect target, standing there grinning, but I couldn't use the gun on him. What would be the fun in that? Why would I kill someone who I share this feeling with? Besides, I'd be looked at as a hero if I killed him, and I was far from being a hero. I was a monster.

I cocked the gun, my finger firmly on the trigger, and the gun was still pointed at the Joker. But, at the last possible second, I moved my arm, positioning it so it was pointed at the girls head, and pulled the trigger.

I saw the blood splash across the floor, and myself, before I heard the loud bang echo from the gun.

The bullet flew, and went straight through her head, hitting the pew behind her. I felt so alive! So incredibly enthralled. This was something I hadn't felt in years, and I loved every second of it. I could help myself from smiling, however monstrous I may seem for doing so. But taking a life, it made me feel empowered. I wanted to do it again, and I knew who I wanted to do it with.

A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge hammer, seemed to flow through me like an electric current, turning me against my will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic. And yet the rage that I felt was an abstract, undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the flame of a blowlamp. This feeling, it changed me.

The Joker looked at the lifeless body of the girl before him and scoffed, before glancing at me. But he kept his mouth shut, and instead cocked his head to the side. He was smiling, and his smile looked smug, with a touch of pride, and he lowered his arms.

My mouth started to hurt after a few moments due to my feverish smiling and I looked towards the man who had caused me all this, this joy. And a giggle escaped my lips. He joined in soon after, and stepped the remaining feet to me, grabbing hold of both my wrists.

" How'd it feel?" he whispered to me, his eyes wide and glowing, similar to a little kid's. I removed my wrists from his grasp suddenly, and jumped at him, wrapping my arms around his neck as he spun around, holding me by the waist.

" It was amazing." I practically screamed into his ear, and he let out a peal of his signature laughter. I hugged him closer, as he put me back down onto the ground.

I still kept my arms around his neck, and his arms stayed around my waist and we touched our four heads together. He had to bend down a bit, but we pulled it off. We stayed there for a while giggling with each other before I spoke up.

" Let's do that again." I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, and he pulled my arms from around his neck, placing one of his arms around my shoulder, leading me out of the warehouse.

" Not right now princess. I've got an even uh better idea." he said as we exited the building, jumping into the car. The Joker started the ignition and drove off quickly, heading downtown. I was curious and excited for what he had planned so I spoke up.

" well then, what is your 'better idea'?" I asked, putting up air quotes with my fingers when I said ' better idea'.

He turned to me, smiling as he did so, and asked. " How do ya feel about fireworks?" I raised an eyebrow at him and scoffed. " it's the middle of the day if you hadn't noticed. You know, that big yellow thing in the sky, it's the sun." I retorted smartly, laughing as he smacked the back of my head playfully.

" Smartass." he mumbled to himself, and I just smiled. Damn straight, takes one to know one.

The car ride was quiet, and I hated the silence so I started fiddling with the radio, trying to find a station I liked. Luckily, I came across one, which I then blared. The station was playing my favorite song.

The song filled the once silent car, and I joined in with the music, singing as loud as possible.

Do you know who I am?
good, neither do I.
got nothing to say, (I got nothing to say)
but if you pay me, I can play the fool.

Go on believe, if it turns you on.
take what you need 'til your body is numb.
prostitution, is revolution.
you can hate me, after you pay me.
my submission, is your addiction.
so just get out while you can.

Do you remember when the only thing that mattered was, taking time for the things you love?
but now you got to humor, all these fools.

If you need me, I'm your man.
but you don't want to see me mad.
oh, no, we, don't care!
you're a pro and its no surprise.
oh, no, we, don't care!

The bass strummed its last chords, and the song ended, transitioning to a softer, slower tune that I wasn't too fond of. I turned the knob of the radio, silencing the music until it was barely audible, then I looked towards the Joker.

His hands were wrapped firmly around the steering wheel, and he sat hunched over a bit, but his eyes weren't on the road that was zooming by. Instead they were glued to me, his expression twisted up into something peculiar. Like he was confused in some way, but I just shrugged it off, glancing out the window.

" That's a great uh song. Who sings it?" he asked, his eyes on the road again. I had no reason not to answer him, so I did.

" Its called Prostitution is the World's Oldest Profession, and I dear Madame am a Professional. Its by Cobra Starship. I don't know, I think their pretty good." I said to him, looking down at my hands. He giggled once and nodded, continuing his staring out the windshield.

I huffed a bit, and continued looking out the window as well. What was the point in him asking me these type of questions, if he didn't have some sort of response to them? But I guess that's why he's so fierce. No one knows what's going on in his twisted brain. I barely knew half the time.

But that other half of the time, I was almost certain with what he was saying to me. It was like he was speaking a language nobody else knew, everyone except me. I got what he was saying, and it actually made sense. He wasn't crazy, he just didn't follow what society thought to be appropriate. And who are they to judge?

He just wanted to show this city the cruelty of life, he just wanted to make them smile. He needed them to understand, to open their eyes. This world was one big joke, and until they got it, they were all doomed.

I guess what he was trying to say was Monsters are real, ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.

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I enjoyed writing this, so i hope you enjoyed reading it, as you can see Annabelle is breaking down, losing her resolve, slipping from reality, ect. And their rlationship is growing but dont be alarmed by the mushyness. This isnt a girl meets Joker, they fall in love happily ever after sort of deal, i mean i cant write that, i hate happy endings ( Hint hint). But it was necessary for now. I mean i couldnt realitstically write Annabelle falling for the Joker, and working side by side with him if he was mean to her all the time right? Anyway, he will get more Joker-Like next chapter, and throughout the rest of the story. The Joker cant love the conventional way, so i cant have their relationship be very conventional, i just needed this chapter to ease Annabelle into the life of crimee.
BTW. I have two possible endings for this story, both resulting in a sequel, but neither of those ending will be coming anytime soon :]

PLease review with ideas, criticism, ect. They are greatly appreciated. And i need them for motivation!