Okay...Yes I know...I haven't updated in two months and I am sooooo sorry...but hey, at least I have reasons...they may not be good reasons, but they are reasons nonetheless.

Reason 1- I just started my first year of college. Wooo, Freshman! Anyway...I am living on campus...away from home...away from my parents....FREEDOM! I am sooo not used to it!. And I have yet to learn to manage time wisely. Which is a major downfall...soo my advice to anyway starting college soon or in a few years...learn that precious skill.

Reason 2-Writer's Block....MAJOR! But I think I have everything settled now...although I have changed the ending to this story...again, which is now the 3rd time. Don't worry it will change again...probably.

Good News-If I stick to the plan I am on now...there is about 5-6 more chapters left of this story....yay! I plan to end this story by December...so that also means no more two month updates! Yay! But...I also have an idea for a new story...so I dunno, we will see what happens now...

Thank you to all my readers....I love reading your reviews, they keep me writing.

And if you are reading and not reviewing...which there has to be some people since I had 400 hits on the last chapter and 10 reviews...please review...it keeps me writing.

A BIG THANK YOU to L Clearwater, I loved your messages and they got me to write a chapter....plus you also checked on me to make sure I wasn't dead which my other readers haven't done. I did reply to you btw, , just in case you didn't read it.

THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO L Clearwater

I do not own Twilight related material. The quote is not mine...this time, the quote is from Franklin P. Jones. The song is not mine. It's called Stupid Boy. It is by Keith Urban.

I hope you all enjoy the chapter.

Much love,
MissLadyWolf aka Jessica

Chapter 8

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

--Franklin P. Jones

Clothes were thrown into black garbage bags along with shoes, bathroom things, cell phone charger and some pictures. Leah looked at the pictures. Half of her wondered IF she even wanted to take them. After all, she was running from the past; what was the point of bringing reminders of the past? But she threw the pictures in her bags anyway.

Sue walked slowly to the door and stared sadly at her daughter. She was wringing a handkerchief in her slim fingers. "Leah," she said tearfully. "Don't go. We can work this out. You don't have to be a bridesmaid in Emily's wedding. Just…don't go." Leah made an impatient noise. "Mother, why do you bring Emily into everything?" she snapped at her, trying not to yell at her. "This is not about Emily. This is about me needing to get off this damn rez." But Leah was lying…a lot of this did have to do with Emily…and Sam. Hell, it was all about them. She was happy for them, she really was. She hoped that they had a beautiful wedding and had lots and lots of beautiful babies. But Leah would be damned if she was staying around and watching it happen.

The doorbell rang downstairs. Leah paused her packing to look at her mother. "I called Sam and told him to come over," Sue informed her and went downstairs. "Ugh, why in the hell did you call Sam?" Leah snapped, but Sue was already downstairs and opening the door. Leah groaned and rubbed her temples. She had to get out of there. She went back to throwing things into the garbage bags.

She heard footsteps come up the stairs and then someone pause at her door. Leah felt eyes on her so she looked up to be greeted by Sam's gaze. Leah nodded to him and went back to packing. "Your mother says you're leaving," Sam said, his brown eyes glancing around her, not stepping in but staying safely in the doorframe. "I don't know why she called you," Leah replied annoyed. "Where are you going Leah?" Sam asked with a sigh. "That is not your concern," Leah said, tying up her bags. "It is too," Sam answered, finding the courage and walking into her bedroom. It had been years since he had been in her room. "I am your Alpha." "Um…correction, you used to be my Alpha. Jake is now my Alpha and I have his permission and blessing to leave," Leah hissed, her eyes snapping to meet his.

"Is this about the wedding?" Sam asked softly. Leah groaned annoyed. "Why do you want everything to revolve around you Sam?" she snapped and picked up her bags, heading to the door. Sam grabbed her arm. Leah growled and pulled from his grasp. "You broke my fucking heart Sam. What do you expect me to feel? I wish the best for you and Emily, but don't expect me to sit here and watch it happen." she growled, trying to fight the urge to cry. Sam sighed softly. "I'm sorry, Leah," he said quietly. "I don't know what you want me to do." "Nothing, I want you to do absolutely nothing," Leah replied. She carried her bags to her door and stopped. She turned to look at him. "I think the worst part of all of this was the fact that you made me think I had to just shut up and deal with it…like I had to stay a part of your pack and watch you have a happy life with Emily while I was miserable…you made me feel like I could never leave," she explained.

"Leah, I-" Sam started, but Leah cut him off. "No, I don't want to hear it. You used my pain to keep me grounded…to keep me here. You never gave me a choice." "Leah, I never-" Sam started again, but Leah cut him off once more. "I have a choice, Sam." she snapped. "And I am making it…now. Goodbye Sam. Have a nice life." And with those final words, Leah left. Sam sighed and leaned against the doorframe. "Leah, I never wanted to lose you." Sam said softly.

000000000000

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it, push it aroundI guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down
Oh...

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy

The radio sang to her as Leah curled her hair in Seth's bedroom, her temporary bedroom. "Ugh, I hate this song," she muttered to herself as she leaned over, shutting the radio off. The radio fell silent and it allowed her to hear rain falling on the roof. Leah groaned and looked at her hair. "Perfect," she muttered under her breath. She finished her hair; pulled the plug on the curling iron and went to get dressed. Today was the day of her mother's funeral. She wasn't able to sleep at all the night before. So many emotions was running through her. Sadness, anxiety, anger, confusion…feeling all these different emotions made her head hurt. She was sad and anxious about the funeral. She just hoped everything was perfect. Her mother deserved that. And she was pissed off at Sam. How could he honestly think of taking his life? She wasn't completely out of her mind…when he stopped phasing the imprint may disappear, he didn't know that it wouldn't; how dare he dismiss the thought? God she had to get out of there. 'If he wanted to kill himself,' she thought to herself, 'Then I won't be around to watch it.'

00000000000000

Faces. Just a big blur of endless faces. She didn't know how long she was there until the faces started to blur together. Maybe it was the warm room with the heavily scented flowers placed throughout it. Who thought having the dozen displays of flowers placed erratically around the room was a good idea? Was it hers? She couldn't remember, the heat and the smell was getting to her. Her brother's wolf heat wasn't doing anything for her either. Leah was sitting squeezed between Seth and Charlie. Charlie had his head down as tears ran down his face. Seth tried desperately not to cry. Leah had to step outside to clear her head.

She looked up to see Carlisle and Esme heading towards her. She sighed a little as Carlisle's topaz colored eyes caught her gaze. Leah knew what he was wondering. He was wondering if she told everyone yet. God, he wasn't going to let this go at all! Leah shook her head slightly and looked away. Esme hugged her tightly. Leah saw her nose twitch a little and she knew that Esme knew too. Leah rolled her eyes. This was her business. No one else's.

It felt a little weird having Esme hug her, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant. Leah was used to it when the whole Nessie fiasco went on. Esme was just a hug person. Leah waited until Carlisle and Esme had busied themselves with Charlie before she made a break for the door. She opened the door and stepped outside. It was raining. Thank god the funeral home had a porch with a roof.

Leah saw she wasn't the only one who took refuge outside. There was a group of people crowded around the door. They were all smoking cigarettes and talking quietly amongst themselves. Leah breathed in deeply. It had been years since she smoked a cigarette. She had chose to quit a long time ago, but with all the stress she had lately and with all the shit Sam was putting her through, she was craving some nicotine. But she didn't dare ask for one. She wasn't quite sure who the people were and she didn't want her family, if that's who they were, to think she turned to drugs when she was stressed. She could handle this and she didn't want anyone to think otherwise. So, she just stood there for a few moments, breathing in the cigarette smoke, before walking around the wrap around porch, to the back of the building where, yet again, she was not alone.

There was a little girl curled up on a bench, a black leather bound book in her small hands. The girl didn't look much older than 6 or 7. She had short black hair that was cut into a bob. Her brown eyes were focused entirely on the book in her hands. The girl looked real familiar, but Leah couldn't place her. She looked at the front of the book.

Collections of Edgar Allan Poe.

Edgar Allan Poe? This girl was way too young to be reading his stories, let alone to understand them. "You're Leah Clearwater," the girl stated. Leah blinked. "Yeah," she replied. "I am." "Great Aunt Sue was your mommy," the girl stated again. Leah just nodded. Wait, great aunt? "You were my mommy's cousin," the girl continued. "You're my cousin." And then Leah recognized her. She was Julie Uley, Sam's middle child.

"You're Julie," Leah said, sitting down next to the girl. Julie nodded. "That I am," she replied. "You went on a date with my daddy last night." "It wasn't a date," Leah corrected. "Just dinner." Julie shrugged. "He was upset when he came back." "Upset?" Leah asked. "Sad," Julie replied, her eyes going back to her book. Leah blinked. Why was Sam sad? Yes, they got into an argument, but it was nothing for Sam to be sad about. Unless he was thinking about Emily again. Leah resisted the urge to groan.

"So you understand Poe's stories?" Leah asked, trying to change the subject. "Yup," Julie answered, popping the p. "The Raven is my favorite…but I also like Annbel Lee." Leah was impressed but Sam did say that Julie would read anything. "What do you like about him?" Leah asked, but before Julie could answer, a voice cried "Julie, there you are!" Leah and Julie looked up to see a young girl walking towards them. She had the hand of a little boy and was dragging him along. The little boy was whining and dragging his feet. The girl looked at Leah suspiciously before looking back at Julie. "You should be inside, you are going to catch cold being out here," the girl scolded. "You could have at least grabbed your coat."

Leah knew instantly who she was. The girl was 9 years old, long, wavy black hair, bright gray eyes, and a mother hen, she was Sam oldest child Ava. So the little boy was Benny, Sam's youngest child. The rambunctious 4 year old with the long black hair and brown eyes. "Let gooooo," he cried, as he pulled on his sister's hand, but Ava wasn't budging. "Ava, this is Leah Clearwater," Julie announced to her sister as she turned back to her book. Ava looked over Leah. Leah squirmed a little in her seat. Why did she feel like these children were analyzing her? And then she figured that they probably were.

Ava continued to stare at her before her face broke out into a big grin. "Hello," she squealed happily. Leah laughed. "Hello darling," she replied. Ava rushed over, pulling Benny along with her. Benny just whined more. Ava tugged on his hand a little to get him to shut up. "You're really pretty," Ava told Leah. "I heard a lot about you from Great Aunt Sue." Leah forced a smile. She felt guilty and sad…how long did her mother talk about her? What did she say? Who did she tell?

Fortunately, Leah didn't have long to ponder these questions, because Sam walked up a moment later. "Kids, you should go inside, it's chilly out here," he said and he stopped walking, only a few feet away, as he saw Leah. Leah didn't say anything, just looked up at him. Sam looked back at her. "Kids," he said again. "Inside." Julie sighed as she shut her book and stood up. "It was nice meeting you," Julie told Leah. "Yeah it was!" Ava cried happily. Leah smiled at the children. The kids turned and started to walk past Sam and back into the crowded funeral home.

"Wait," Leah said. "Sam, let me take your kids to the park tomorrow. It will be fun…and I can get to know them better." What had come over her? Spend time with Emily's kids? Why would she want to do that? She wasn't sure…but she really wanted to get to know these kids. "Oh, yeah!" Ava cried. "Please daddy," Julie pleaded. "Park, park!" Benny chanted. Sam nodded and smiled. "That will be fine," he said. "Do you want me to drop them off at Seth's?" Leah shook her head. "No, I'll stop at your house and get them…if that's okay?" she asked. Sam nodded. "It's fine," he replied. "I'll pick them up at 2:00," she informed him. The kids cheered and hurried back inside. "Don't run!" Sam warned them. He looked back at Leah. Leah was now avoiding all eye contact with him. "I should go stop them," he said. Leah nodded. Sam turned and walked back inside.

Leah sighed and stood up. What was going on with her? She didn't like these kids…did she? No…of course she didn't. She was just going to make the "ghosts" that were following her happy….right? "We're back to the ghosts theory now?" Leah asked aloud as she shook her head. She groaned and walked back inside the hot, smelly room. She just sold her soul to the devil. Her soul was her sanity level…the devil? The devil was Sam's children.

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