A/N: Alright so i was so thrilled by the wonderful reviews that i updated! Isn't that Fantastic! See what you readers can do!!!!! So continue(: Anyway here is the continuation of What Doesn't Kill You. Enjoy. And whaen you are done enjoying, review. I could possible update again soon! Btw, at the end of Annabelle's pov, it shifts into like i don't know what it is, second person? third person? Because its a very powerful moment and i wanted you to read it and feel like it was you in her position. (:
Disclaimer: If the Joker were on Ebay, i'd buy him. Until then, He's not mine.
And then we both go down together
we may stay there forever
I'll just try to get up
and I'm sorry
this wasn't easy
when I asked you, believe me
you never let go
but I let go
- Mayday Parade, I'd Hate To Be You When People Find Out What This Song Is About
Gears start grinding. The engine overheats. That's how it all , all of a sudden, you just snap. Just like a car, you breakdown. You're stuck in the badlands.
Now you realize all the signs were there and you ignoredthem, completely undeterred by the inevitable. That's when you get confused. Youfelt this coming on, and did nothing to stop it, but you convince yourself it'snot your fault. I mean, after all, this could happen to anyone...right?
I find myself pacing across Bruce's living room, my heels clicking loudly against the tiled floor. The House is empty of its playboy owner, but Alfred is in the kitchen cooking dinner fit for a king. Bruce went to speak with a contractor about the remodeling of Wayne manner, but promised to be back quickly. And right now, I needed it.
I arrived at Bruce's not long after leaving the Joker earlier. And surprisingly, not one tear was shed. That's doesn't mean I didn't hurt. I did. More than you could imagine. It felt as though someone had torn my heart out and eaten it. Even if that someone was me.
That last look on his face was etched into my brain, trapped with me for the rest of my life. Though I knew this wasn't over. What we had couldn't be broken as simply as it was. He wouldn't let it be.
Deep down, I couldn't either.
I still love him, too much, and maybe that's why I know we can't be together. Because if we were, we'd both die at each other's hand. No, people like us don't get happy endings. Our relationships don't get wedding bells and white dresses. Flowers and sappy love songs.
We get expiration dates.
A soft ding floats through the penthouse, and in strolls Bruce, fixing the collar of his suit. He see's me and smiles, unaware of the events that really took place. He knew the Joker had taken me, he was there, but what happened during those hours, he didn't know. And he never would.
I filled his mind with well rehearsed lies, practiced until perfection. I had been in the van, racing through Gotham, and when the opportunity arose, I launched myself out of the unguarded door, landing cunningly into a bush, not a scratch on me. I spent the rest of the night walking through the outskirts of town alone.
Even then, I couldn't make Joker the bad guy.
He walks over to me, wrapping an arm around my waist and kissing my cheek softly, I hug him back tightly, never wanting to let go. But eventually, our arms drop and he walks us to the grand dining table, the food sprawled out across it.
He pulls out a seat for me, and soon places himself in his.
The conversations stays intact through dinner, the atmosphere light and carefree. Fun. Just like it had been all those years ago. And I like it like it his. I like having this. This normal part of my life. It makes everything seem so real. It helps me keep my head when I've been having such a hard time with doing that lately. But I know slowly but surely, I'll lose this part of me. There's something deep inside me taking me over, pulling me under, and I'm on the verge of surrender.
But also deep inside of me, somehow I'm still there. Desperate to swim past the pandemonium sea's of my own insanity and break the surface towards reality. Yes that one inch of myself is still there but I can feel my own body drowning in this figurative sea,
My lungs burning with the yearning of calmness and tranquility.
But really, where's the fun in that?
Dinner passes, and I can quickly feel the tugging of unconsciousness as I drag myself to my bedroom. The house is quiet, but as soon as my head hit's the pillow, my eyes refuse to close.
Minutes tick by, and still, I'm lying wide awake in the bed of a queen. Its night again. The wind hit's the window, and the rain begins, drenching the city in its watery blanket. I toss and turn, I even count sheep, but its all to no avail. Once again, sleeps arms refuse to welcome me in. I sigh.
Maybe I could use some fresh air.
Wearing my shorts and a thin tank top, I slip my feet into a pair of worn black converse, and push my arms into my black pea coat, the fabric chilling against my skin.
The elevator music is hushed as it brings me down to the main floor, which is almost deserted save for a few employees. They nod to me as I walk through the revolving doors, the rain falling in icy droplets against my skin.
I begin my walk through the streets, the towering buildings soon giving way to more suburban areas. One park catches my eye and I make my way through it, stopping to sit on the lone swing.
Everything's quiet. Not even the crickets or the birds are making noise. The rain is the only tell tale sign that life is going on. Maybe that should have been my first clue. After all, he was like a curse, a disease, a storm, leaving everything in its path before him silent.
Maybe subconsciously I knew, for when his high nasally voice reached my ears, I didn't flinch.
" I've been uh waiting for you, ya know."
I sigh, looking down to my muddied shoes as they drag against the sand beneath the swing.
" You shouldn't be."
His figure emerges from behind the trees, his steps slow and calculated. He stops in front of me, but I keep my head down. His body shifts as he plants himself in the seat next to mine, the chains rattling softly.
" Can't help it, princess. There's-ah just…. something about you… I uh I know you feel the same thing about me." He paused between thoughts, not quite sure on where he was going, as if he couldn't say what he meant.
Emotionally exhausted, I rub at my eyes tiredly.
" I'm done playing this game Joker. If this morning wasn't a big enough sign for you, I don't know what else there is. How can you expect everything to be okay."
" Because I said so." He replies stubbornly, but his tone holds a hint of anger. My blood begins to boil.
" Oh really. Are those the rules now? I thought there were no rules, Joker."
" There are for you." The way he said it, stating a fact, like I was his, my knees got weak, but my anger flamed on.
" Well I quit. Game over. You win. What the fuck do you want, a gold star? You beat me at your own game. I broke down, I fell in love. But its over now. Are you happy?" My swinging had stopped as I looked over at him, but his expression was unreadable.
He was quiet for a while, but his voice came back angry.
" You thought this… was… a game?" The roughness in his voice was barely held back, and I nodded a response. It always seemed just as I was ready to walk away, stand up for myself, he always managed to bring me back to those days before I had left the mansion. The days where nothing mattered but the two of us.
He jumped up from his seat angrily, pulling out the knife from his pocket and twirling it between his fingers. His gaze only on the knife as he paced back and forth. His burst of anger fueled my own, but his words came first.
" Why would I go through all of this trouble-ah, just for mere shits and giggles?" He seethed, waving his arms about madly.
" Because you're the damn Joker. This is the sort of shit you do!"
He stopped mid step and scoffed.
" Really-ah? I just waltz around town stealing chicks away only to uh find out they're really complete psychopaths with an intensely fucked up past? Like I really need that shit. I have a purpose, a meaning. I do what I do to uh send a message. So listen up girly 'cause this is yours." He stalked towards me menacingly, grabbing hold of the chains tightly as he leaned his face into mine. His expression was twisted into a glare, and I did the same.
" This wasn't a game. It uh never was. Bringing out your true nature was just a great little bonus-ah. Don't lie. I hate liars. You felt something, whether you uh like it or not, and I'm giving ya the chance to prove it." His hand disappeared within the purple fabric but reemerged with a small cell phone.
He flipped it open, running his tongue along his lips as the screen lights up his face. A few beeps sound, and the Joker shoves the phone into my hand, smiling.
My eyes look down to the screen where I see three numbers pressed, his hand holding my fingers against the little green call button.
911
" If you can say you never felt a thing. Not a tickle, not a pinch, not a spark-ah, then press that button. If you've uh deluded yourself enough into believing the lie… press…it. Send me away to the mad house…. But if all this is really about is some whiny PMSing bitch bullshit, then I can uh accept it. And we can work things out. Just don't say I didn't warn ya." He left he phone in my hand, backing away slowly. I gulped, running a shaky hand though my hair.
I knew what I should do, and I knew what I wanted to do. I just wished they were the same thing.
I hated the Joker so much sometimes, but is that really enough for me to rat him out. Did I hate him more than I loved him? Hate was a silly emotion, so fleeting, so inconsistent, but at the same time, so is love. Was it really enough?
The rain stopped suddenly, every surface glistening from the reflection of the moonlight. The Joker's green hair hung in ringlets around his face. He looked beyond beautiful…
You clamp your eyes shut, standing from the swing. A tear escapes your eye as you near the Joker, but you know you have to do it.
In your hand, the Phone closes.
The Joker see's this, a smirk forming on his lips, a similar one forms on yours. He rushes forward, pulling you into his arms and picking you up from the ground. He twirls you in the air and he's so happy. You almost can't tell he's the Joker
You almost loose it right there.
He slowly lowers you to the ground, his eyes filled with unadulterated bliss. You've never seen this side of him before. Right now, he's not a killer. He's not the monster Gotham City knows as the Joker but the man underneath. Just Jack.
You hold back a sob as he runs his tongue over his bottom lip, smiling widely down at you, and you return it. He can't see it, but here's something off about your smile. It doesn't click. Not until the sounds of sirens meet his ears.
His head turns to the noise, his eyes squinting as the rain begins to pour down in buckets, blurring everything within a foots distance. He turns back to you, pulling on your hand to make your escape. Your feet stay perfectly still against the ground.
He cocks his head to the side as the sirens near, a small smile appearing on his face as he lets loose a giggle. He pushes your hand out of his, and takes a step back.
Sirens engulf your vision as the sound of cops appear, their guns pointed and making their demands. You slowly back away, watching the Joker smile widely, his hands on his head. He walks backward to the cops, his eyes glued on you. You're the one who looks away, the coward that you are. But you know its for the best.
You disappear in the dead of night, not even the light from the squad cars casting a gleam your way. You want to leave, to run home, but you're a glutton for punishment, a masochist if you will. You sneak around the police cars, watching as they handcuff him and stuff him into the car. The men all enter their cars now, and the Joker turns his head to the side, sensing your gaze. You're eyes meet, and a smug smile appears his face. You stare back expressionless.
In the end, you still lost.
Joker's POV
At that moment you don't know whether to fuck her or strangle her, but you will admit one thing, she's certainly one clever little bitch.
Well you suppose you already had insight on that fact…but fuck.
You think if she wasn't so staunch on saving the various sheep of Gotham City, she'd make an excellent partner. You saw the potential in her, even on that first day in Bruce Wayne's penthouse. But now that potential is going to be wasted on "the greater good of man", or whatever glossy piece of bullshit she's jumping to preserve.
It's fucking unbelievable, really, it is.
As far as you're concerned, she's a blatant contradiction equipped with a pulse and great tits. Ever the shameless hypocrite; ready to say what she wants but never quite capable of seeing it through.
You know your actions would be considered drastic by most, and meaningful by few, but at least you're willing to stand by them.
And while you realize that dying a martyr for a lost cause is a bit of a stretch in comparison to what you had originally intended, you're more than prepared to go out like a smug bastard.
And judging from the lazy expression on her face, she's more than ready to witness it.
Clever little bitch, indeed.
Ta Da! Review please so that when i come home from work tomorrow, i'm greeted by like 30 e-mails telling me i have reviews!
Adieu.
TheJoker'sGotMyHeart