A/N: Greetings!!! Though i hate to tell you this, this is the last installment in What Doesn't Kill You. I hope you're not disapointed, but pleae enjoy and review once yyou have finished. I want to know how you all feel, so take your time with some lovely feedback. Today was my first day back, and this chapter just popped into my mind and i couldn't stop. Also, the song for this story is You're Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring. If you would like to know the rest of the playlist, review and i'll post it.

Disclaimer: Sorry. Still don't own the Joker, though we all wish we did. Also, theres a quote in here that is by another fanfic writer, seditionary, and she gave me permission to use it. Also, there is a quote from the book Joker in here.

This day's black fate on more days doth depend:
This but begins the woe others must end.

- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 3

My name is Annabelle Mathews, but I don't have to tell you that do I? You know I'm somebody… I'm on top of the world looking down. You know what I see? Do you want to know what I see?

I see the Joker. A disease. One that has been around longer than Gotham, the city infected. A disease that's older than any city. Hell, its probably the same disease that built the first one. It spread throughout the streets like wildfire, sending everything it touched into flames, but this time it came in a different from. A form much less forgiving.

There will always be a Joker. Because there's no cure for him. No cure at all… just a batman.

I had fallen into those flames. No- not fallen. I dove head first into the flames fully aware of the consequences. I was just as bad as he was. Maybe worse. Something happened in his past that caused him to end up the way he did, but I chose this life. And that's a decisions I'll have to live with for the rest of my life.

Sometimes even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we're going to regret the moment, the minute, especially the morning after. I mean, maybe not regret, regret because at least, you know, we put ourselves out there. But...still. Something inside us decides to do a crazy thing. A thing we know will probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet, we do it anyway. What I'm saying is...we reap what we sow. what comes around goes around. It's karma and, any way you slice it...karma sucks.

Maybe by locking the Joker away he could get himself help, at least that's what I told myself. I was doing the right thing. He was crazy, I guess I was too in a way. But he needed to go to Arkham. It would help him, right?

Or maybe it was just my guilt telling me these things.

We are left with a choice. Either let the guilt throw you back into the behavior that got you into trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt and do your best to move on.

Either way, I knew I needed to see him one last time. He deserved that much, especially from me after all he had done. He did care about me, even though he never used those words, I knew what he meant. He loved me, in the only way he knew how. And I loved him.

I just didn't trust him.

Today I would go to Arkham, I would see him. One last time, to clear my conscience, to fulfill some desire I had hidden away. I had to say goodbye.

* * *

Arkham was a dark place, even when it was illuminated by the florescent lights. The darkness loomed over head like a rain cloud, threatening to unleash its floodgates at a moments notice.

A young doctor escorted me down the halls to his cell, the only noise coming from my heels as they clicked against the beige tile floors. Nobody knew It had been me who turned the Joker in. Not even Bruce. This was a secret I was planning on taking to the grave.

We reached a large metal door, heavily locked and the young man took out his name tag, placing it in front of the machine on the side, followed by punching in a code. There was a loud buzzing, and the door opened.

The man smiled to me, leading me down the maximum security wing of the hospital.

The hallway leading down to the Joker's room was long a dark. The lights were dim, and some were even out. Nobody bothered fixing them down here, the criminals should get used to the dark I assume.

The doctors pace quickened as we began passing rooms, I only caught a few of the name plates.

One, I saw, read Dr. Jonathan Crane, another read Carmon Falcone. But the name that stopped me dead in my tracks was neither of them, nor was it the Joker. The name read Batman.

I was stunned. They already had a room made out for my best friend, and he was really the hero, not the bad guy. But these idiots seemed to believe everything their precious news tells them. The thought made my blood boil.

" Ms Mathews?" The doctor asked me, his face looked concerned, and at the same time frightened. I could see he didn't feel comfortable being down here.

Closing my eyes and shaking my head once I looked up to him, giving him a fake smile. "Oh I'm sorry Doctor um.." I said shifting my eyes down to search for a nametag, finding it I met his eyes again. " Doctor Harris." Smiling, he nodded and lead me down to the final door on the left. Reaching the door, I froze.

I couldn't breath, my breath was caught in my throat and my eyes began to sting with newly formed tears. I couldn't do this, but I knew I had to. I struggled to hold back the tears threatening to fall an breathed in a deep, cleansing breath. Unclutching my hands, I reached out to the knob of the door.

Doctor Harris reached out his key card, sliding it down the slot, and the door beeped, signaling for the doctor to open the latch. He looked toward me once more, searching my face for something, and I nodded for him to continue. Sighing once, he opened the door letting me into the dimply lit room.

" This is as far as I go Miss." He said to me, standing behind the red line drawn onto the ground. " I'll be fine." I said encouragingly and he looked at me gravely once, before pulling the door closed.

It just hit me, but I had been saying that a lot lately. I'm fine. I'll be okay. It was so strange how easily the lies came out, so much so that I even began believing them.

My hands were shaking at my sides as I turned around, facing the open room. My eyes scanned every inch of the place from its white stained walls, to its small cot in the corner, even to the small table set in the middle of the room, with a chair set behind it.

I searched for the Joker, finally finding him asleep on his bed.

He looked so peaceful in his sleep, his mouth set into a genuine smile, and his features looking ten times softer. I could lose myself watching him sleep, but that's not what I was here to do. I was here to say my goodbyes.

The doctors had given me a button to press if an emergency occurred, but it wouldn't be used. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, at least I thought I knew. He had no clue I was coming here today, and the last time I had seen him had been as they loaded him into the cop cars, me watching from a distance, but he saw me. He knew it was me who had turned him in.

Softly, I walked around the desk until I was standing feet from the bed, and the Joker began to stir. His tongue ran over his lips once, and then his eyes squeezed shut tightly before they slowly opened. His hair had fallen all across his face, and he shook his head lightly, reminding me of a dog as he sat himself up until he was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head bowed down.

He quietly started humming to himself, running his hand threw his hair as he looked up, meeting my gaze.

His eyes were soft, but once they caught sight of me they hardened, that condescending grin creeping onto his face.

" Look who it uh is… my little Marionette hmm? What do I uh owe the.. Honor?" He asked, his voice sinister and threatening. And I couldn't speak. I felt like I had the first time I had seen him at the mansion. Speechless.

" Got nothing to say? Aww, come on sweets, Ya got to say something…. How 'bout hmm I don't know… sorry?" he said, rising from the bed and stalking towards me. Every step he took toward me, I took a step back until I was pressed against the wall. His laugh coming out dry and strained.

" I-I'm not sorry." I said to him, avoiding his eyes, instead looking at his bright orange jumpsuit. " That's a lie." he growled, grabbing onto my arms tightly. He towered over me in that moment, and I couldn't help but look up to his face. The paint chipped off in places, They must have taken away his paint, but he refused to remove what he still had on.

" I know you Annabelle. I know you better than anyone, even you. And when you try to lie to me… it doesn't work. I can see right. Through. You." he whispered into my ear, pressing himself against me. But as much as I wanted to give in, I couldn't.

Pushing him away, I walked to the middle of my room, my arms crossed tightly across my chest.

" No Joker. You thought you knew me. But you were wrong." I said to him, my back turned. I couldn't show him how much this was hurting me, he would just laugh in my face. That is what he does best. Disappoints.

I heard giggles from behind me.

" Ya know. I don't thinks that's true." He said, encircling me with his arms. They wrapped around my waist, curling tightly making my breathing hard. " I'm never wrong. But you want to believe I was wrong so you can uh feel better 'bout yourself. Its easy to think this was all my fault. And as much credit I'd love to take for makin you the way you are, I cant. That's all on you toots." he rasped into my ear, swaying me side to side. And I knew he was right, though I'd never admit it. He always seemed to be right.

I shook my head vigorously trying to shake away my thoughts.

" What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want." He said into my ear seriously, all joking tones to his voice gone. The Joker removed his hands from my waist, placing them around my neck until his hands fully covered my entire throat.

" Did I ever even mean anything to you?" I asked him exasperated. My throat was burning with the tears I was holding back and it took all my strength to stay strong, but I knew my will was crumbling.

He quickly pulled his hands away from my neck, clapping them together loudly as he spoke. I turned back to face him.

"Mean anything to me? Well, sure, babe! Think about it--before, I really thought I oughta kill you...but I couldn't. That's how bad I've got it for ya...so, in a way...you mean more to me than...than just about anything." His face was all smiles, joking, that same mocking expression that haunted all of Gotham, but underneath it I saw something else.

His eyes were soft pools of brown and they screamed with unkept emotion. He really did care, if only deep down.

I felt tears sprout into my eyes, and I couldn't stop the endless flow now pouring down my face. I looked away from him, towards the wall until finally, I turned away, heading for the door. I wanted to say goodbye but this was too much, I couldn't get myself to say those words. I just… couldn't.

As I neared the door, I heard him sit back down onto the bed with a loud creak, and my steps slowed.

"Parting is such sweet sorrow, dearest. Still, you can't say we didn't show you a good time. Enjoy yourself out there... in the asylum. Just don't forget -- if it ever gets too tough... there's always a place for you here." He spoke giggling, and I stopped midstep turning to the side to face him.

" I loved you." I said to him through the tears that had slowed. He simply smiled, and this one was genuine.

" I know you did." he said solemnly, looking down at his thumbs. And I knew this was it. This was our goodbye. And now I could move on, start new things, make new friendships and strengthen old ones. And I knew the perfect place to start.

I turned back to the door, walking the final steps until I reached it, my hand on the buzzer to let me back out.

" Your gonna go far, kid. I know it. And I'll be checkin up on ya, as you know, I'm a man of my word. Always." I heard him say from behind me, his voice louder than it was before, but strained, like it hurt him to say those words.

I hope so, I thought as I pressed the button, and the doors swung open.

The last thing I heard from the Joker as I left that asylum were those same five words. Replaying over and over in my brain. And as I walked out into the bright light of the street, and hopped into the limo, courtesy of Bruce, I couldn't help but hope he was right. I loved him, and he loved me, but love just wasn't enough. It turned out, sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful, but they're the only way to find out who you really are. I know who I am now. I know what I want.

Alfred drove me down the winding streets of Gotham until we Reached Wayne Manor, finally rebuilt. The only thing on my mind being the last words I had heard from the person I would never forget.

You're gonna go far, kid.

Aww! I can't believe its over!!! I've had so fun writing it, and its sad that i'm no longer working on it. But reviews are always helpful, especially since the story is now finished. Thanks you, i just have one question.

Sequel?

Adieu.
TheJoker'sGotMyHeart