His Dark, Kind Soul
Author's Note: The melancholy undertone will have to continue for another chapter. There will be three time shifts. The scenes set in Alice Academy nine years ago were written in reference to the events first described in Chapter 6. Several other lines were also quoted from previous chapters. I hope you'll be able to recognize them. Ü
Two chapters to go! Again, thank you so much for supporting this fic.
Chapter 13: Catching Fire
Present day, Classroom Corridors, Natsume Hyuuga at age thirteen
"What do you mean you can't do the report?"
"Exactly that!" Koko said vehemently. "We said we'd research on Kira Samushiro and that's what we did. We discovered many things, great things, things we shouldn't have found out in the first place and now we're screwed!"
"Screwed?"
"If we do this report, our friend will never talk to us again!"
"Which friend?"
"Who else?" Kitsuneme snapped as though he was being stupid. "We can't do the report Mr. Narumi! We just can't!"
Mr. Narumi stared at the two frantic students in front of him with some concern. "Did you find out what happened to Kira Samushiro?"
"Yes!" Koko said, "And the knowledge is killing us."
"Yes, it would have that effect on unsuspecting students," he spoke with sympathy.
Kitsuneme gaped at him. "You knew!" Their teacher simply inclined his head in confirmation. The two of them gawked. "You knew and you let us go through with it! You knew we may very well be risking our lives but you allowed us to continue our research on the Wolf?!"
"Why would you do that? You monster!"
Mr. Narumi held up his hand to stop their outburst then smoothly reached inside the classroom to close the door upon their animated audience waiting inside. He thought the situation would come to something like this and he was rather curious to see how the rest of the story would unfold.
"Kira was a remarkable painter, a Chess Master and an accomplished violinist. He furthered scientific research and was the top student of his class," he summarized with a tinge of pride. "He really was a great Alice, regardless of what he did in his spare time."
The two sputtered. "B-but… N-Natsume—"
"Koko, Kitsuneme, I'm not expecting you to report on the White Wolf because that's not the name you submitted to me." He smiled kindly. "I'm waiting to hear about Kira Samushiro because I know for a fact that he was an unforgettable student. What you report on is your choice, but I would be satisfied just hearing about his achievements as an Alice Academy student."
At this, the two calmed down and color returned to their cheeks. Mr. Narumi smiled then started to open the classroom door. However, Koko seemed to need further assurance.
"So you're not waiting to hear about the Wolf?"
"That's right," he said cheerfully. He stepped inside the classroom then suddenly added in afterthought, "But then, given the hype you've created, I'm sure your classmates are dying to find out about the White Wolf. Hmm, I wonder how you'll get out of that one…"
Mr. Narumi walked to the front of the classroom and merrily greeted everyone. Behind him, Koko and Kitsuneme entered too, looking extremely nauseous again.
"And that's how Taro Nakajima rescued Lord Clavell despite the 132 years separating them," Mochu finished with a wide grin and a bow. The class applauded as Yuu handed their written report to Mr. Narumi then he and Mochu returned to their seats.
Mr. Narumi marked his grade sheet with a satisfied smile. "That was well written. Good job you two and excellent choice for an alumnus. Taro Nakajima was an outstanding Alice. Plus, he was the favorite teacher of many students. He was well-respected, very well-respected indeed…" He looked up then called out, "Nogi and Hyuuga, you're up next!"
The usual awed silence pervaded the room as the two best looking guys in school trudged to the front of the classroom. However, they didn't begin at once. Ruka seemed to let his best friend take the lead and allowed him to stare at the paper he held for a long time. Nobody prodded them as though everyone understood that Natsume needed time to think. They were all aware of what his attitude had been in the course of this project. If anything, their report was as controversial as Koko and Kitsuneme's will be.
Natsume's eyes briefly scanned the paper Ruka had finished for both of them last night. His friend was a three-star student and so it was little wonder that the project was top grade quality. Both of them had invested time and effort in writing this paper but now Natsume was about to invest something much more valuable.
His past.
For a moment, he debated whether he ought to go through with this. If he walked out right then, no one would dare ask for an explanation. Not even Ruka. He was certain his best friend would forgive him if he decided to chuck this project out the window at the last minute. But then he thought of his old team.
Remember those who have fallen.
Natsume cleared his throat then began this way, "The clock tower appended to the south wing of the Alice Academy Archives is attributed to a German student, Kurt Segur, who graduated four years ago and left many other landmarks and masterpieces."
Ruka smiled as he realized his friend had just overcome a barrier by talking about his comrades. He doubted if anyone else in the room noted the breakthrough and he kept his silence as he waited for his turn to speak. It was right that Natsume opened because this was partly his story too.
"However, what he had actually done was to finish the work of his close friend who was unable to complete the project." Natsume paused, his gaze running down the page, faltering for the last time. When he continued, there was no more hesitation in his voice. "Few people know that the original architectural designs were from the genius of another student, a year older. He was Kunimitsu Kogure, another great Alice…"
Five years ago, Restricted Building, Natsume Hyuuga at age eight
The silence in the room was palpable. To an outsider, it would've been uncomfortable but Kira and Davies were too used to each other to let the stillness signify anything more than the fragile truce that subsisted between them. It was delicate, just as it had been for the past three years since Taro Nakajima died.
Kira read the papers given to him with difficulty. The frown never left his face. But then, it had been his default expression since the night the Stop Clock Alice made his appearance after years of supposed inactivity. That happened two days ago and their team was given one week to recover with only the Captain being called in intermittently. The school wanted everything settled within the week and this was a clean-up job Kira wanted no part of.
At length, he looked up from the papers and leveled Davies with a stony look. "What about the rest of us?"
"You were also injured," Davies said briefly, "Same fire."
"Tch."
With growing distaste, he continued reading the alibi crafted for Kunimitsu Kogure. It barely bore any details and he wondered if that would avert questions or raise even more. The Academy seemed to forget that Kunimitsu was one of the more popular students on campus. His disappearance would be felt.
And grieved.
"You realize that to pull this off, you'll have to set fire to his workshop for real," Kira said gruffly. He tossed the document insolently across the desk.
"Yes," Davies answered without compunction. His lack of remorse grated on the little composure Kira had left.
"And I suppose you expect us to be inside as you do it—"
"Don't be ridiculous," he spoke with a slight frown.
"Just so we can appear injured and maybe emerge as survivors. That should play on the crowd's sympathies—"
"I don't appreciate what you're implying—"
"It's not an implication, it's an indictment!" Kira snapped then found that he couldn't stop. "Our lives have become a dime a dozen to you. It disgusts me how easily you can come up with explanations for the death of one of your students. Kunimitsu had family, do you get that? He had parents waiting for his return and you're bringing him home in ashes."
"I know you're mourning," Davies spoke evenly then he raised a hand to forestall the next angry retort to be born from Kira's lips. "While I cannot speak for the whole faculty, I assure you that we are too. I am too. But you must understand that this is the best way to handle this matter."
"Concealing the truth, more lies, more cover ups, that's all you ever know."
"Would you rather cause havoc in the Academy?" his teacher demanded. "Do you want their existence known so that even the regular students will start to fear them? That's exactly what our enemy wants us to do and I have no intention of satisfying them."
"Well, shouldn't we fear them?" Kira argued. "They're not afraid to murder Alices. They would go after anybody to bring down the school. Just because the other students aren't in the game, it doesn't mean they aren't in any danger."
"Then protect them! You have always been in a position to do so. Use the skills you've acquired for their benefit."
"I can't do it for long," Kira spoke as though the words were wrenched from him. "I'm done, you know I am. The only question left is whether I'll die in five years, ten or tomorrow. I have nothing left in me."
Davies spoke plainly. "But there is still Natsume."
"But this isn't his fight," the Wolf said, his voice hardening even more. "He's only eight years old. He shouldn't get into this at all. I'm imagining his life play out in your hands and I don't like it. You'll rob him of so many things he deserves. It's a hard life."
"Sacrifices need to be made—"
"Is that your justification for everything?" Kira asked in frustration. "How many more of us do you intend to sacrifice to a fight we didn't cause? That's the attitude that got you into this. I'm not surprised these students are coming back to avenge themselves!"
Davies looked at him coolly. He expected his handler to use his Alice then but no such obtrusion came into his mind. "It appears your ideals may be more aligned with theirs. Is this your decision? Are you crossing over and lending your strength to the enemy?"
"That's not what I said," Kira said, insulted that he would even suggest that he side with the people who murdered his best friend. But Davies wasn't done.
"Then which is it then? Are you fighting with us?"
"No—"
"Stand with us or throw in your lot with them. I don't care which but choose a side Kira."
"I shouldn't have to!"
He laughed derisively. "You think you can walk away? They'll hunt you down and all those dear to you. The Academy will be the same. Both sides would want to recruit you. Neither would want you siding with their enemy. You will never be left alone. You'll be safest if you choose a faction. It's either that or be out of commission."
"This is madness."
"This is war," Davies spoke irrevocably. "What you saw out there was the first cannon being fired. It was only the beginning. There will be others after Ironsmith."
Kira's eyes flashed. "Shut up!"
"He was only the first to go."
"No he wasn't!" Kira stood, shaking with rage. "He wasn't the first and you know it. It's the Academy that started this. You've killed people without a second thought. Of course there would be consequences! And here it is. We Alices are about to destroy ourselves in a war of our own creation. It's pathetic."
"Yes, it is," Davies said in a cool tone. He exhaled, suddenly seeming tired. "But washing our hands of the situation is no longer an option. Neither of us started this but we can't deny that we are part of it." His eyes closed as he continued in a soft tone, "And I won't deny that we lost a great fighter in that mission. Ironsmith—"
"He has a name, damn it. Kunimitsu Kogure. Stop calling him by his codename. He wouldn't want to be remembered as that."
"As a great Alice?" Davies spoke, seeming to disagree. "Ironsmith, the Stop Clock Alice— his abilities make him a celebrated student." He paused, evidently rankled. "Why didn't you tell me about his second Alice? If I knew about it—"
"What would you have done?" Kira jeered. "Exploit him? Make an even bigger profit?"
"I'd have given him a device that would bind his fourth form Alice and prevent him from ever using it," Davies declared forcefully. "I would've allowed him to use only the ability that could not kill him. I'd have helped him just as I've always tried to help you. But your doubts have always been misplaced."
"They weren't misplaced when our comrades walked out on us," he flung back. "They weren't misplaced when Taro died."
Davies' hand tightened into a fist. "I made a choice that night."
"He was your brother! That shouldn't have been it!" Kira breathed out, trying to calm himself even when a hundred other retorts sprang to his lips. "Well, we're one for one aren't we? You lost a brother and I did too."
His handler came to his feet and Kira automatically stood on defense for an attack that never came. Something he said must have stung because a tell-tale of emotions seemed to flit rapidly in Davies' eyes. In the end, he said nothing except, "Get out."
"You said we had more to discuss."
"Get out, you ungrateful, arrogant fool," Davies spat out. "You look upon me as though I murdered my brother when the sacrifice he made was as much as my own. It was made to keep you alive and yet you stand here hurling accusations at me."
"I would've never asked you—"
"You forget your place and I let you get away with it, but not tonight when Kogure's death hovers above us like a warning you keep choosing to ignore. Leave now Kira, before I remind you why I was commissioned to handle you."
Kira stood his ground. "Orion—"
"Get out." Davies spoke calmly but the words came with a telepathic force that lifted him off his feet and slammed him against the wall next to the door.
The crash shook his bones and Kira could barely regain his balance when he returned to his feet. He glanced at his handler and saw that he had already resumed his seat. He was writing another document, unmindful of the ability he had just employed.
"We'll stage the accident the day after tomorrow," he said without looking up.
Kira stared at him, wondering why this dismissal felt belittling and inappropriate. He knew he ought to say something but Davies wouldn't spare him a glance. Evidently, he was getting ready to lock himself up in that powerful and impenetrable mind of his where no one could reach him. Kira pulled the door open.
"That's fine with me."
When he was gone, Davies stared at the closed door in infuriation. He wondered for the umpteenth time how things had come to this. His student had come a long way but though his skills and talents were honed from Davies' tutelage, he knew that indomitable character owed very little to his guardianship. Somewhere along the way he had lost Kira's trust and he didn't know if that had happened over years of neglect and severity or because of that one mission that had built an insurmountable wall between them.
Davies leaned back on his chair and a familiar ache spread through him as he remembered his fallen brother. Together they had built dreams on those two boys and now only he and Kira remained in a dysfunctional and perplexing relationship. He had begun that dream with a simple statement, a truth he held on to until now.
"Your student is special."
"How so?" his brother had inquired.
Shinichi Nakajima smiled with pride and amusement. "He's nearly as skilled as mine…"
Davies' shook his head then he thrust that memory aside though he knew it would continue to haunt him on his weakest moments. It was the curse of being a psychic, of having a mind stronger than what was human. You mercilessly remembered everything.
This was grief. It had to be.
Natsume sat upon a high branch of the Sakura tree, huddled near the trunk. His head was in his arms as he tried his hardest to blot out the rest of the world. But no matter what he did, the noise just wouldn't stop. The voices were loud and insistent. They would give him no peace.
The enemy found a weakness…
What was it?
A kid…
He tried to breathe normally but there was a pain in his chest that he couldn't ignore. He wanted to believe that it was born from his Alice and it was nothing less than he deserved for what he had done; for what he had not meant to do.
He died saving me…
Natsume started coughing. He didn't know if he was having a fit or if he was feigning one to cover the ache that was beginning to outwardly manifest itself. He recognized the voice to be the Captain's and while it echoed nothing more than past lectures and trainings, he saw now that the Wolf had also given him warnings that he had somehow neglected.
We're a danger only to ourselves…
Liar! he wanted to shout but there was no one to hear. Was Kira preparing him for this? All this time, did he know that Natsume would come to bear this loss and it would kill him inside?
You make a mistake, you die. You act rashly, you die. You make wrong decisions, you die and maybe take someone else down with you…
Early on, Kira had cautioned him against haste and recklessness. He had spoken to Natsume as though the end goal in all this was to survive the school in hopes that a better life awaited all of them outside. But no, he had to pause for that wasn't entirely true. Once, the Wolf had also revealed to him that sacrifices could and would be made. He just wasn't aware that everyone around him had shared in that oath.
I was ready to die for any of them…
Natsume pounded on the rough branch with a fist as he viciously pushed back his tears. He was finished weeping. He was much stronger than this. He should be all right. He shouldn't care so much.
As you are, there's no way you can protect others…
Damn him and his weakness. Damn Kira for not training him for this. Damn Kunimitsu for throwing away his life for this worthless one.
Why would he do that?
Because he's my first mate…
Natsume's hand went to a branch. He gripped it tight as he tried to get a hold of himself. Even as he closed his eyes and attempted to even out his breathing all he could see was Ironsmith, back at the briefing room, glancing at him from his chair with a quiet smile as he and Kira made that quick exchange.
He's ready…
I know he is…
The branch snapped off and he let it fall to the ground. It crashed against the bushes and snapped off dry twigs and leaves that scattered artlessly on the grass. Natsume saw what he had done and was surprised at how sharply his heart tugged at the sight of the fallen shoots. It should mean nothing and yet it seemed to signify everything.
He said we'd use our gifts to save lives…
"Arrrgh!" Natsume shouted when he heard the words belonging to Kunimitsu Kogure. With that shout he released a fireball, more powerful than he had intended. It sailed in a wide arc, gaining speed and momentum, before it finally crashed into the quadrangle on the other side of the cobbled path. It damaged the stone and several students shrieked.
Seeing what he had caused, Natsume leapt off the tree and walked away, heading nowhere. He carried with him a tumultuous heart that would not be silent. A hundred lessons repeated themselves in his head, all useless in his time of sorrow. His pain grew and the voices continued to taunt him, as though he had learned nothing in the past months.
Remember Natsume, without your Alice, you're only human.
Nine years ago, Alice Academy Infirmary, Natsume Hyuuga undiscovered
The hospital room was dark. All the lights were out except for the emergency lamps located at the corners of the ceiling. Kunimitsu sat up and glanced at his companions. Next to him was Mahiro Yotsuga, the girl Kira had pulled out of the vortex just that afternoon after the experiment of the new controlling device went haywire. On her other side was Kurt Segur, the surly giant who was also with them at the testing site. Both were sleeping soundly.
Mahiro was turned towards him and in her sleep she looked serene. There was no antagonism there, a complete contradiction of her usual expression in these past weeks since she arrived. Kunimitsu smiled wryly when he remembered his conversation with Kira when they first saw her.
"The new girl is unfriendly," Kira had said when Mahiro passed by them in the training room. Her head was bowed and she scowled every time someone caught her eye.
Kunimitsu swiveled around. "Maybe she's just shy."
"Shy?" Kira scoffed. "If she's shy she wouldn't have lashed out when someone tried to open the door for her."
"Who did that?"
"I did," Kira muttered, clearly disgruntled. "She's very bleak."
"I don't know, I think she's kind of cute," Kunimitsu shrugged. Kira raised an eyebrow at his careless remark.
"I didn't know you liked the angsty type," he grinned.
Kunimitsu frowned. "I don't."
His friend chuckled. "Yeah? Well, you seem to like Mahiro Yotsuga well enough. That's something…"
Her eyes flickered open without warning and Kunimitsu stayed where he was, realizing how stupid it would be to feign sleep now. Their gazes met in quiet recognition of each other. There was no calculation, no sizing up of the enemy; none of the hostile looks they've been taught to sport during their lessons.
"Why are you staring at me?"
"I was just thinking about this afternoon," he quibbled, finally breaking eye contact. "We all nearly died back there, didn't we?"
"Nearly," she repeated then sat up too. "If Samushiro hadn't come after me, I know I'd be gone for sure. Is he really like that?"
"Heroic?" Kunimitsu asked dryly.
"To the point of being stupid," Mahiro wore a sardonic smile. She pulled up her knees to rest her chin upon them. "Still, I am grateful. I didn't think anyone in here would do something like that for me. How long has he been in here?"
He smiled faintly. "Six years."
She looked alarmed. "That long? Poor thing."
"He's okay," Kunimitsu assured her. "He's learned to live with it. Eventually, we all do. I'm sure you'll get used to it too Yotsuga."
She didn't answer at once. Mahiro laid her head on her arms then turned to continue looking at him with a gaze akin to wonder. "That would make things more bearable. So are you and Kira best friends?"
"We don't need the label," he said with a laugh. It made him slightly self-conscious though and so he moved to change the subject. "What did Kira tell you when you were in the vortex together?"
"He said…" she paused then looked up at the ceiling with a funny look on her face. At length she slid a glance at Kunimitsu again and for the first time, he saw her radiant smile. "He said his best friend thought I was cute."
Kunimitsu sucked in his breath and colored immediately. "I'm going to kill him."
Mahiro threw back her head and laughed out loud. Kurt, the gruff leviathan two beds down, shifted with a heavy grunt then boomed, "Go to sleep or let me."
That just made Mahiro laugh harder and Kunimitsu couldn't help but grin back.
Five years ago, Alice Academy, Natsume Hyuuga at age eight
It's difficult to get up after you're dealt a fierce blow. When such things happened to Kira, he needed time alone. It had always been that way. If he was troubled, contemplative or despairing, he would seclude himself and drown in his art. The last time it happened was when he isolated himself on the rooftop those many months ago, not long after Natsume had arrived. He produced a masterpiece then, something beautiful born out of his troubles. Somehow, he couldn't do the same now.
He was your best friend, your greatest rival, your equal.
Kira wasn't sure how much time had passed since his last conversation with Davies. Vaguely he deduced that the sun had fallen and risen twice since then. If that were true, the school was getting ready to carry out their plan that very day and he didn't think he wanted to be around to see Kunimitsu's workshop torched.
Yet he deferred to you and called you Captain.
Marie had come by the art room a while ago and instead of finding Kira madly toiling on his work, he was lying down on the center of the huge white canvas. He was barefoot and his uniform was in wild disarray. He was staring blankly at the ceiling and the paint cans lined the edge of the canvas, unopened and untouched. She realized he couldn't paint and so the catharsis wouldn't begin.
At first she tried to coax him out. She brought him lunch and he was grateful to all the gods for her kindness. But he wasn't ready to listen and her timing had been horrible. At length she began to plead with him. She asked him to face the others, to come and mourn their friend together. He answered with anger and even though he knew his words were biting, he couldn't stop shouting at her. It felt good to let it out, to pretend that he was misunderstood, that his grief shouldn't be lumped together with that of another because it was greater and deeper and harder to overcome.
"You're not the only one who lost him." Marie drew a shaky breath. "And that strength that I admire so much in you, well, people need it right now. Especially Mahiro. You have to go to her because Kunimitsu loved her. If things had been different and something had happened to you, he would've been there for me."
"I can't be there for them, can't you see that?" He burst out. "I have no strength to lend them because I'm barely keeping it together. Forgive me for my weakness but I don't deny it."
Marie stood her ground. "Kira, do you even know where Natsume is?"
A light came to his eyes then, a glimmer of the person he was before his best friend had died. There was concern there. There was life. "No."
"Come with me to look for him."
Just as quickly as it came, the light flickered out. "No." When he rejected even that, Marie recognized defeat. Kira tried to ignore the contempt that flashed across her face. He willed her to leave now. To go, before he did anything else that might hurt her. She was about to but then she hesitated one more time.
"Kunimitsu was your best friend, your greatest rival, your equal. Yet he deferred to you and called you Captain. Think why that suited him."
Marie walked out and the doors slammed heavily after her departure. She left him still lying on the blank canvas, barefoot and wild.
Kira continued to stare at the ceiling as Marie's words rang in his ears.
Think why that suited him.
It suited him, Kira thought cynically, because until the end Kunimitsu thought he was better than him so conceding leadership would mean nothing. And why shouldn't he think that way? Kunimitsu had given him a black eye and Kira had never evened the score. He laughed at the memory now.
It suited him because he trusted Kira unconditionally. Kunimitsu saw him at his lowest moments but he never passed judgment. He believed Kira would always do the right thing in the end though he also understood that he needed to get to that conclusion himself. He had to wonder how that guy had gotten his personality so well.
It suited him because… Kira stopped all the unworthy, self-loathing thoughts then sat up. The wretched and disgraceful way he was acting suddenly registered in painstaking detail.
Kunimitsu was his best friend. That's all the justification either of them ever needed. They didn't count debts. There was no need for reasoning. They called each other to task whenever it was needed. If anything went wrong for one, it was the other's duty to carry on. If Kunimitsu saw him now, he would receive the worst criticism and he would deserve it.
Your life isn't just your own. Get up you dumbass.
Slowly, Kira came to his feet. It felt a little like picking himself up, forcing strength back into his legs so that they could work again. He stared at the blank canvas beneath him then he walked to the edge to pick up the paint cans. He chose the black paint, the blue and the red. He pried the lids open then carelessly threw entire liters onto the canvas. It created a splash and produced imperfect streaks across the previously immaculate board.
He looked at the mess he made and was inexplicably satisfied. Kira donned his polo shirt then grabbed another small canvas on his way out of the art room. The doors banged closed after his departure, releasing the Wolf back into the campus.
"What are you working on?"
Kurt lifted the welder's mask. He knew his Captain had been standing there for the past half hour but because he didn't speak, Kurt didn't start a conversation either. In any case, he was used to Kira hanging around in his workshop. He did so whenever he sought company but didn't feel like talking. Kurt knew he found his shop and Kunimitsu's a good place to pass time.
Kurt handed him a flat metal plate. It was strong but pliant. "I'm trying to create a shield that the modified bullets can't penetrate," he explained as he pulled off his gloves.
Kira studied the metal for a while then he laid it on the table. "Your grief is productive Kurt."
He shrugged. "After this, we'll have to start working on controlling devices the enemy can't affect. We need amplifiers and better equipment."
"You're preparing to fight."
"You should be too," Kurt returned.
He went to a shelf and picked out materials to begin forging another plate. Kira watched him in silence. When he settled back on his stool, he worked quietly but there was something unsteady about his hand. Kira knew he only had to wait before the giant spoke of what was troubling him. When he did, the topic wasn't what he expected.
"I've been thinking… the Alice is in our genes, right? So that means it's hereditary. It's biological, even if it could manifest differently in each generation."
"Yes."
"And because of the Academy, all the families— technical, latent, somatic, special ability— come together. Our interactions are kept within a certain circle."
"I guess."
"So if we fight each other… we end up fighting people we know. We fight alumni. We fight friends. We fight family."
"Kurt, I don't know what you're getting at—"
"What happened out there… that was the worst of it, right?" Kira didn't answer. "It has to be." Kurt didn't look up from his work but he continued without pause, "Fighting Alices who used to be on our side. Battling people who went to the same school. Saving a friend. Losing a friend. What we saw out there, that was the worst that could happen if this war breaks out… right?"
"… Yes."
"Good," Kurt said roughly. "We've seen the worst and we survived. So we're ready."
Kira laughed mirthlessly. "Are we?"
"We have to be." He glanced up. "I wouldn't have it otherwise."
"Neither would I."
Kurt stopped what he was doing to look him in the eye. "Wolf, I don't follow you because you kick ass on the field. I do it because you're stupid." Kira's eyes narrowed and Kurt actually chuckled at him. "You're stupid enough to die for someone else; stupid enough to try to bring some order to the tasks they make us do. You let us hide behind you and you justify that by saying you're our Captain. It's idiotic and I'm grateful for it."
"Good to know."
"Kogure has left us," Kurt said solemnly. "We can't bring him back and it's not going to get easier after this. But I'm ready to fight again. Give it time and Yotsuga will be too."
"You're trying to reassure me," Kira realized and his companion shrugged.
"I think it's my turn."
"Thank you."
Kurt grunted then turned back to his project. "But not all of us could be ready for something like this," he said significantly. "Captain, one of us can't help but be eight years old."
Natsume stood inside Kunimitsu's workshop, at the center of the room where the skylight was. He wasn't sure what he was doing there. Kunimitsu had told him to drop by any time and so here he was. Maybe he came to apologize. Maybe he was looking for comfort. Maybe he was trying to bring himself closer to the finest part of Kunimitsu's stay in the Academy.
There were several clocks in the room. He never gave them much thought before but now they signified so much more. Natsume could hear every ticking sound, every beat and rhythm in that untamed clockwork orchestra. Kunimitsu was alive in here but that knowledge only lent to the portentous beating of his heart. Something inside him twisted and he wanted to believe so badly that it was his Alice instead of grief conquering him. It was crushing. He was ready to explode.
The pain begins in the chest. At first it's a smarting you can ignore, like a prick of a large needle burying itself under your skin…
The first attack was wrenched out of him. Natsume blasted at the board that listed Kunimitsu's unfinished works and it fell off the wall.
After a while it gets worse. The ache spreads through your chest where it burns. It's relentless and it feels like it won't end…
He fired at the shelves that contained tools and sketches that would soon gather dust because their Master was gone.
On an advanced stage it eats at you. You don't know where the pain is coming from anymore…
He turned and shot at the pedestal Kunimitsu employed when he was working. It blew off its hinges, giving him infinitesimal satisfaction.
You can't breathe. You can hardly think… When it attacks it's torture…
Insensible, Natsume spun around looking for other objects to vent his anger on and his gaze took in the many sculptures in the room. He stopped when he spotted a small metal sculpture sitting at the table near the window. It was shaped differently but he knew it was the project he had been working on before he had left for the mission. Kunimitsu had evidently fashioned it into something beautiful and recognizable.
But you're still aware… you're here… you're alive… Then eventually you remember to breathe…
Natsume gasped for air as it dawned on him, unbearably. Kunimitsu was talking about his pain that day. When he was describing the effects of the fourth form Alice he was talking about his own agony. Not Kira's. It wasn't someone else's burden but his.
You're left wondering when you have to go through it all over again and if you'll survive it the next time…
No. That was the pitiful truth. If he had to go through this all over again, if he lost someone important on a mission ever again, it would destroy him.
You'll make it out Natsume. I promise.
He snarled then fired at the completed art piece, the attack bursting out of him with bare restraint. A trail of frost sailed swiftly after his attack and collided with it before it could hit its target. He whipped around, eyes blazing and he met the cool gaze of his Captain who was watching him with barely hidden sympathy. He didn't know how long he'd been standing there and he didn't care.
"Stop it Natsume."
His fists clenched. There was always that choice: obedience or defiance. The former had gotten him nowhere. The latter would pacify him more. Natsume turned away. He fired successively, aiming for the art pieces again and again in his fury. Kira didn't move from his place but he caught the fire in every direction it took, sparing Ironsmith's works.
"Don't do this."
Again Natsume disobeyed and he sent out a long coiling blaze that snaked around the room, threatening to destroy all the metal pieces on their stands. A wall of ice erupted from the ground, rising and falling as quickly as Natsume's Alice traveled the room. They circled the room twice, the fire hurtling against the hoarfrost and releasing thick vapor in its wake. His Alice couldn't break through Kira's resistance and at length his breath grew slow. He trained his blaze to the ceiling and the Wolf's ice chased after it until the finish.
"Kunimitsu wouldn't want you to do this."
"What do I care about that?!" Natsume shouted, finally breaking his silence. "I didn't want him to die for me either but my wish wasn't heard!"
"Natsume—"
"Why couldn't have you just abandoned me?!" This time the attack was aimed at Kira. The fire was incredible but the Wolf didn't attempt to catch it. He let it slice through the air and only released enough frost to act as a shield before him. The flame fanned out against the cold armor. Natsume growled. "You useless, stupid captain! He was the better fighter. Why was he the sacrifice?"
"Hyuuga," Kira's voice was cold. "Pull yourself together."
"I won't!" Natsume shouted.
He drew out another attack and the Wolf swiftly reacted. Their Alices met in the center of the room, reminiscent of the white and blue display during their first confrontation in the training room those many months ago. This time, Kunimitsu wasn't around to try to stop them and so their powers raged on, gaining momentum as their fury stretched. Natsume gave out first and Kira immediately closed his fist when the fire ceased.
"Stop this Natsume," Kira said as he walked forward. "You mustn't blame yourself for what happened."
Natsume breathed heavily, trying to temper himself but his Captain's words angered him more. Of course, it was his burden to bear. How couldn't it be? Kira could see he was going to contradict again and he was about to say more but Natsume lashed out quickly.
"He knew what it would cause. He shouldn't have done it!" he yelled. A familiar stinging erupted at the back of his eyes, riling him to no end. "That day, he asked me to be careful— me and Sheridan— and I failed him. I got captured and so you had to come after me. I was the mission that night! I was the reason he died!"
"Don't think of it that way—"
"We were all wrong—"
"It's not your fault—"
"I wasn't ready!"
Kira reached Natsume and gripped him by the shoulders. That brought him up short. The air grew thick with the child's remorse and the Captain's despair. They stood unmoving while the pyrokinetic's embers continued to dance around them, surviving the last of the Wolf's winter. It stayed alive but did not burn, personifying the failing strength of its master. Their shared grief had spurned the attacks. Their shared grief brought them there.
Kira bent on one knee so that he could look Natsume in the eye. "I knew you to be ready," he said earnestly, "And you were. No one could deny it."
"But look at what happened! If I only knew better—"
"Listen to me Natsume," he cut in forcefully. "Nobody could've anticipated what happened out there. Nobody was ready for that. I taught you how to run missions. To break in. To disarm. To retrieve. To finish. I didn't teach you to fight for your life because that's screwed up. Nothing could've prepared you for something like that. We were all blindsided and no one's to blame."
"I was sloppy. I made mistakes—"
"They were ready for you. The odds weren't even because you knew nothing about them."
"But Kunimitsu—"
"He made a choice," Kira said then stopped, recognizing the words for what they were. It was his teacher's same defense and it silenced him as the realization hit him, three years delayed. "…So that we could live. I won't cheapen that act by saying it was a mistake."
And that was the end of it. For both of them.
Natsume dropped to the floor, his arms resting on his knees as he let tears of frustration and anger spill out. He pressed his fists to his eyes, trying to regain self-control. He thought the painful part was over but he was wrong. The anguish remained and so he broke down and reverted to the child that he was for a few precious minutes.
A hand came to rest on his head and the eight-year-old boy who was made to live through more horrors than most senior students, collapsed weeping on his Captain's shoulder. The Wolf gathered him in, frost against fire, as his own eyes began to tear.
"It's all right Natsume. I'm not asking you to understand it now but that's how it was." Kira swallowed to get past the lump in his throat. When he began again, he spoke slowly, seeing the irony in what he was about to say. "In time, you'll see. It was the choice he could live with."
Nine years ago, Alice Academy Restricted Building, Natsume Hyuuga undiscovered
"For reconnaissance, Samushiro, Kogure and Yotsuga…"
"I'm going with them."
Taro Nakajima glanced up in surprise at the surly boy's announcement. Kira and Kunimitsu looked equally startled and unfortunately the former couldn't quite contain his shock.
"The hell you will—"
Taro flicked a piece of chalk and hit Kira on the forehead to silence him. "Now, why would you want to do that?" Kurt merely shrugged. Their teacher looked over the mission sheet. "Four students for this mission would be extreme."
"Then give us another assignment," Mahiro spoke up, "Something that will take the four of us to finish."
Kunimitsu gaped at her. "I don't think—"
"We could do that," Taro said musingly. He flipped through the papers. "Ah, here you go, a retrieval mission. This should be easy enough."
"We'll do that," Mahiro announced quickly. "Kira will be our Captain and the rest of us will adhere to his plan. It should work."
"Now, wait a minute—" Kira began to protest but Kurt sent him a look that was more threatening than questioning and so he clamped his mouth shut.
"Hmm, Captain… well, it's unorthodox and it's not how we do things but I'm ready to give it a shot. What do you say Wolf?"
Kira met Taro's gaze. If it had been his brother standing there, Shinichi Nakajima would've known all the questions crowding his head.
"You want me to say yes."
"Can you handle it?"
Can you handle them? That was his underlying question. Nobody really wanted those two. Kira knew all the stories and he had yet to determine how far they've gone on their training. Besides, the German student scared him because he was damn huge and damn unreadable. But then, this was a challenge and he wasn't about to back down from it. Plus, he'll have Kunimitsu there to help in case anything went awry.
"Why not?" Kira said at last. He stood up to take the envelope Taro was offering him.
Before the teacher let go, he asked seriously and only loud enough for Kira to hear, "Samushiro, could I hold you accountable for these students tonight?"
Seconds ticked by. Kira swept a glance at the three faces looking back at him, their expressions quite indecipherable. He exhaled. "Yes. You'll tell Orion?"
"I'll take care of that."
And so they were dismissed. They headed for the locker room and the three boys prepared their things in silence. Kira and Kunimitsu felt awkward but Kurt Segur didn't look the least bit put off about joining them on the field. The two moved quickly but the giant still finished first and when he passed by them they both backed away in an exaggerated distance. Kunimitsu hit the lockers when Kira held out an arm to shuffle him out of Kurt's way. Kurt paused.
"I'll go on ahead to the rooftop," he said gruffly. He towered over them and looked down in such a condescending way that Kira had to wonder if this student had really acknowledged his leadership in the briefing room.
"Yeah, sure… whatever you want Giant." Kira found himself muttering. When Kurt was gone Kunimitsu started to laugh. "What? It's self-preservation. I don't want to be pulverized before I'm even out on the field."
Kunimitsu closed his locker then made sure Kurt was out of earshot. "Do you see it? Those two trust you after what happened at the experiment."
"Us," he corrected quickly. "They trust us. Man, that's a load."
"But it's pretty cool," Kunimitsu pointed out. "You're responsible for them now."
"Why me?"
"Because, doofus, you vouched for them. Do you think Taro is crazy enough to throw the four of us together if you didn't swear you'll keep us in check? They're testing us."
"Great, just great…"
"Just so you know, I trust you too." So saying, Kunimitsu pulled off his iron necklace then held it out to Kira's confusion. "Here."
"What's this for?"
"Don't give me cause to hit you again," he said plainly. "But if you ever do, at least you'll know I won't be using an iron fist."
"You have to hit me," Kira said sardonically. "How else can you be sure I won't make stupid decisions or act selfish or be a jerk?"
"I trust you Kira," Kunimitsu said again. Then they each grabbed a mask and hurried to join Mahiro and Kurt at the helipad. He sounded certain. "And starting today, you're my Captain too."
Five years ago, Girl's Dormitory, Natsume Hyuuga at age eight
Kira went to her last because he knew she would be the hardest. He had to steel himself before he could open her door. When he pushed the wood open, he paused at the entrance the moment he spied her room. He'd only been in there a couple of times before. He remembered the place to be cheery for Mahiro had decorated her room with her personality. She had wallpapered it with catchphrase posters and lunar charts. Her ceiling had mimicked her favorite constellations. She had a dreamcatcher near her headboard, mood candles at the foot of the bed and she had bought rugs and table runners that respected every art and craft known to man.
But today her room was bare. None of it remained and her blank walls still bore the scratches and marks of the adornments she had hastily thrown away. They were gone and Kira knew she had cast them off to another world.
Mahiro was sitting at the corner, curled up in a ball as she hugged her knees close to her chest. She was biting her lip, and tears cascaded down her cheeks not in an endless waterfall but in delicate teardrops that fell in an unpredictable rhythm. The sight squeezed his heart but it wasn't only because she looked so lost and dispirited. It was because she was flickering. Her whole body was fading in and out as though part of her— a significant and physical half— wasn't with him in the room.
"What happened to all your things?" he asked gently as he stepped inside. Mahiro looked up and met his gaze. Her exhaustion was evident and the unsteady wilting continued.
"I packed them up."
"Are you going somewhere?"
"No… but…" She swallowed audibly. "I thought them useless."
"Why?" he asked when he was near enough to say it in a whisper. He knew the answer even before she said it herself.
"I don't believe in anything anymore."
Kira caught her wrist just before she faded away again. He felt the familiar tug of her Alice on his body but Mahiro didn't cross worlds completely, anchoring herself on him.
"Mahiro, I would follow you to another world if I thought I could pull you out. You know that," he spoke earnestly. "But if we go now I'm not sure I'd want to come back either and we'd both be lost."
"So what do we do?" She sounded desperate. She was pale now, almost like a ghost as she threatened to leave the room bodily again.
"Just stay here," Kira said hoarsely. His grip on her wrist tightened. "Stay here and I'll cry with you. You can take whatever strength I have left then we'll recover together."
"Kira, give me something to believe in."
He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small canvas that bore his latest piece. He unfolded it then held it out to Mahiro.
It was a picture of a man working on a brass pocket watch, its many intricate pieces spread out on the desk in front of him. He held a delicate tool on one hand while the other donned only a glove that hovered above the metal parts. Light filtered in from the window overlooking his table but the rest of his background was haphazard. They were red indistinct streaks, like threads of memories that would not settle but was still exquisite in its wild abandon. The man was absorbed in his work and the smile tracing his features bore an unmistakable likeness.
"I call it 'Ironsmith'."
A hand lifted to Mahiro's lips. She broke down against his shoulder, growing fully corporeal as she pulled the rest of herself back into the room.
For the second time that day, and for the rest of the night, Kira found that part of his role as Captain was to let others cry on his shoulder.
Present day, Alice Academy classroom, Natsume Hyuuga at age thirteen
The class had grown steadily silent as their report went on. The two of them spoke evenly but their tone and words wove a spell around the class, adding magnetism to the fascinating story they were sharing.
"He would have gone on to build other fantastic pieces if his life wasn't cut short at sixteen by an accident that occurred on the grounds." Ruka turned to the Black Cat, prodding him to continue.
"Kunimitsu Kogure died from an unexpected fire that broke out at his own workshop," Natsume spoke solemnly. "He used his Alice to maneuver metal pieces that were able to contain the blaze even though he was caught inside. That fire had triggered a blast and many people could've been killed, myself included, if not for his sacrifice."
He had to pause and his friends picked up the emotion that escaped from him in those few seconds. Ruka immediately came to his rescue. "It happened during his senior year, months before graduation. The school recognized his achievements though and so he was awarded a diploma, making him an Alice Academy graduate in his own right."
Natsume's gaze grew pensive, as though he was just remembering now, not reporting. "Kogure died on the seventeenth of July. History would show that the school had suffered snowfall that morning. It was the only time it ever snowed on a summer day, making the event as unforgettable as his life in the Academy had been."
"His remains were returned to his parents, escorted by a friend. Afterwards, despite his many landmarks and art pieces, the school hardly ever spoke of him again." Ruka glanced at Natsume. "He did a lot for our school but I believe what makes him so great is that he saved several other people who would later become famous Alices with remarkable contributions in their individual fields."
Natsume nodded and for the first time since the whole report began, his expression cleared and an almost wispy smile broke over his features. It tugged on the hearts of many girls in the class.
"I don't know what Taro Nakajima or Eiri Hong achieved but I know for a fact that Kunimitsu Kogure is an Alice Academy Great. He saved my life, and that of his friends. For that, to us, he would never be forgotten. And oh yeah… he also designed the clock tower at the south wing and I know we all still turn to that to know the time."
They ended with a slight nod, a subtle bow from both of them. For a while, nobody spoke then the room suddenly burst into thunderous applause. Evidently, the story of their chosen alumnus had moved every person in the room. It was by far the best report the two of them had ever delivered in their whole student career. After all, the Black Cat always refrained from speaking so much before. This was definitely a first and no one was disappointed.
Natsume ducked his head and it was Ruka who grinned appreciatively at their reaction. He handed the written report to Mr. Narumi who was also busy clapping. Finally, Ruka joined Natsume at the back of the room just as the class settled down again.
"Excellent report! I can't think of a single thing that would have made that more complete and more perfect. Well, it looks like I've been giving out A's all morning." Mr. Narumi's smiled broadened as he marked his course book. "Kokoroyumi and Kitsuneme, let's take it home!"
Koko and Kitsuneme stood up and ambled their way to the front. Silence came over the room again as everyone expected another good story from the last two reporters.
Additional Note: Here's a rough timeline to serve as your guide. I'm counting backwards and assigning Year 0 to the present day in the fanfic. All the events narrated in this story fall somewhere in between the years listed below. If you have questions, you're welcome raise them.
* Year -15 : Natsume Hyuuga undiscovered, Kira Samushiro enters the Academy at age 6
* Year -13 : Natsume Hyuuga undiscovered, Marie Akagi enters the Academy at age 8
* Year -12 : Natsume Hyuuga undiscovered, Kunimitsu Kogure enters the Academy at age 9
* Year -9 : Natsume Hyuuga undiscovered, Mahiro Yotsuga and Kurt Segur enter the Academy at age 11
* Year -5 : Natsume Hyuuga at age 8, enters the Academy and meets Kira Samushiro
* Year -3 : Natsume Hyuuga at age 10, Gakuen Alice canon
* Year 0: Present day, Natsume Hyuuga at age 13, Class B is working on their reports about famous Alice Academy alumni
Q & A
1. Do you read any fanfiction? (for multiple readers)
Yes, I do and I could spend hours going through different fandoms. However, I review sparingly and I rarely bother to log-in when I do. I use a different handle whenever I review anonymously and only leave signed ones under "November Romeo".
2. Are you a boy or a girl? (for multiple readers)
I'm a girl. I'm amazed at how many people sent me a PM to ask this question. In hopes of averting any confusion, let's just have that said. I'm a nature-loving, coffee-dependent, book-crazy girl who loves cars and college basketball.
3. You seem very good at writing mystery and suspense. Why not try your hand at it? (for sweet n simple)
Actually, I don't think I'm very good at writing either. Even now, I don't think this story falls under either genre, but it's a pleasant surprise that readers consider it as such. This was a relatively complex piece so I'll be taking a break when it's finished. Ü