Spelunking

Edward did feed me a ridiculously delicious breakfast that day- his food network watching had definitely paid off. He served it to me in bed with great fanfare, and a sweet kiss on the cheek. The meal brightened my outlook somewhat- I was full of energy, and though I couldn't harness it precisely the manner in which I wanted, I was also determined to have fun and was filled with a different sort of curiosity- one to explore this lovely island in which we temporarily inhabited.

After three days of constant hiking, snorkeling, fishing, swimming, kayaking, and biking, however, I was beginning to tire of all of the outdoor activity, and had long since seen through Edward's feeble attempt at keeping me occupied while the sun was up, and exhausted once it dipped down below the horizon. I hadn't confronted him, yet, but this was a honeymoon, for crying out loud. I felt that this little detail was particularly difficult to ignore when he would tuck me into bed at night and leave me alone to sleep while he went hunting. I probably would have cried myself to sleep those two nights if I didn't essentially lose consciousness the second my head hit the pillow. Edward hadn't even replicated his earlier move of spending time in bed with me to cuddle in the mornings. Clearly, that provoked too many indecent thoughts on my part.

I woke up the next day on the sprawling king-sized mattress, curled up in the fetal position on the edge, and felt a flash of irritation. Damnit, if I wasn't going to utilize the bed to its full potential, than at least I should take up as much room as possible sleeping on it. I sat up. Edward was sitting on a chair in the corner, looking at me.

Despite being upset, I couldn't help but smile at him. I held out my hand. "Come here".

Edward approached me slowly, cautiously; as I imagined he would survey an unusually large prey. He sat gingerly on the corner of the bed and met my outstretched hand with his own. He hesitated. "I'm afraid," was all he said.

I looked down at our intertwined hands, at our rings. "Edward, I'm your wife. I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"But Bella, you have such high expectations. I know that you are not trying to, but I feel an enormous amount of pressure. Putting myself in a situation where I have to hold back when my primal instinct is to release, let go- it's next to impossible. Like keeping your eyes open when you sneeze. Knowing that I have to do that just to keep from killing you; that's nerve-wracking enough. But now I'm also worried that I could never live up to what you have envisioned in your head for us. It's too much."

"Edward, I just want to be with you. I don't care how. It doesn't have to be perfect. I can wear just one sock or something," I said, in a halfhearted attempt to make a joke.

He saw my sadness hidden underneath my joke, and it seemed to change him. He nodded, seeming to summon his strength. His face became resolute. "Okay."

He leaned into me, pressing his lips to mine and wrapping his arms around my waist. He felt the curves of my body through the sheer fabric of my nightgown before starting to pull it upward. I had to laugh out loud, wondering if it would weird him out that the skimpy article of clothing he was in the process of removing was selected by none other than his own "sister".

"What is it?" he asked innocently.

"Nothing. I'm just happy." I smiled.

He took advantage of the break between our lips for a second to slowly lift the negligee over my head. He stared at me with his golden topaz eyes, entranced, and then quickly and gracefully removed his clothes, taking a very human-esque deep breath. He brought his cool lips back to mine in a gentle kiss and gradually lowered me back onto the bed and got on top of me, bracing his weight onto his elbows. The position of his body outlined his ivory sculpted muscles better than a spotlight. He was still kissing me, first tender and gradually more passionate, moving his hands agonizingly slow down my naked body, and I couldn't believe how excited I was getting, and I could start to imagine how excited he was getting, and I was in pure ecstasy just anticipating what was going to happen next when-

He was suddenly backed on the other side of the room, in the corner- as quick as a camera flash. He was leaning against the wall and seemed to be trying to the best of his ability not to pound his fist directly through the plaster. He looked distraught.

"Edward? Edward, are you all right?"

"No Bella, I'm not. I can't." If vampires were capable of crying, I'm sure Edward would have been on the verge of tears.

"Edward, it's okay. It's okay, it's okay," I kept repeating, unsure of what else I could say to comfort him. "We'll keep trying. It will get easier."

He looked at me, then suddenly began to pace, at a somewhat frantic speed. "Bella, I need to go calm down. Get dressed and get your shoes on. We're going spelunking. I'm leaving to run some reconnaissance on the caves over by the mountain. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Spelunking? Are you serious?"

"Sure. I'd like to get out of the cottage. It's an activity that we haven't done yet."

"Edward, we were about to do a different activity that we haven't done yet. One that I would rather keep trying to do again and again than go spelunking."

"Bella, I don't think that I can keep trying. It isn't getting any easier, like I expected it would. I'm not going to kill you over this."

"I wouldn't mind, as long as you were prepared to change me."

He glared at me coldly. "That isn't funny."

"So that's it? You don't even want to try anymore?"

"Bella, I promised you we would try. We've tried. I've tried. It hasn't worked. That's all I can do. I don't want to keep putting you through this frustration."

"And now you just want to spend the rest of our honeymoon spelunking?"

"Whatever you want to do, darling. Except that."

"Forget it, Edward," I snapped. "Let's just go home."