Ishikawa stretched his legs in sheer pleasure and walked even more quickly. He'd forgotten how much he enjoyed hiking the hills here. A soft breeze blew his hair against his face and rustled the leaves in the nearby trees. The grass, long and uncut, brushed against the legs of his jeans, wildflowers peeping up here and there in all the colors of nature. He loved the passing of the sun and shadows on his face, the warmth of the breeze and the gentle exercise of walking. It was a simple pleasure and one he had once taken for granted. Anymore his life consisted of gray walls, computer terminals and responsibility. He never had time for simple pleasures. And then, a large yet gentle face topped with short black hair appeared in front of his eyes and he felt the warmth of large mouth over his. Well, there were some compensations. No, he didn't wish he could change the past just so he could go back to being able to take hikes whenever he wanted.
"Haru-kun! Hold up a bit." Susumu's voice was faint and in the distance.
A glance back showed him that he had outdistanced both of his brothers. For the first 30 minutes the brothers had discussed school and recent awards, but the talk had gradually slowed as the climb grew steeper. The silence had allowed Haruka to think rather than talk and he hadn't noticed when they started falling behind. "Hurry up you two." he called back. "We don't have all day! Nobo-chan, I thought you won a marathon last year. Are you really this slow?" He laughed as both boys broke into a run pushing each other to one side or another as they tried to each have the best path up the slope.
It was actually only a few minutes until they reached the spot they usually picnicked at. Haruka leaned back against the tree trunk he had claimed as his privilege as older brother and looked down at the valley below while the other two pulled out food and made disparaging remarks about each other's race up the hill.
"Haru-kun" Susumu's voice broke into more musings about his job and his brothers.
"Huh?"
"What's wrong? Is it something with work? Are you sick, did something happen to Iwase"
"What do you mean?"
"Come on, we can both tell when something's bothering you. You always start thinking about it over and over and get kind of silent. You've always been like that. And didn't you promise us after... after Dad died that you wouldn't hold secrets from us?"
Both Susumu and Noboru were watching him with concern on their faces. "Nothing's wrong at work. Yes I do want to talk to you about something but we can finish lunch first. It's nothing serious nor is it a problem. I just wanted to talk you guys a bit about some stuff that's been on my mind." They smiled in relief and then began eating lunch. Noboru finished every bit of food in his backpack and tried to snitch some of Susumu's. As he finished his, Haruka became aware that both of his brothers were sitting back, done with their food and waiting for him to speak. He sighed.
"Well, this wasn't exactly the way I had intended to start this." He smiled slightly, "I had no idea you two were that good at reading me. I wanted to talk to you about why I got into protecting people and to try to make you understand why I'm doing this in hopes that you will be more understanding."
"What's there to understand?" Noboru snapped. "You're the number one target of every terrorist in Tokyo, possibly all of Japan and the odds are one of these days you'll come home in a body bag!" His voice shook and he jumped up and started to stalk off into the trees.
Haruka stared as his brother started to walk off and then suddenly realized there was only one way to handle this if he wanted to get both his brothers to listen to him. "Stop right there, Noboru!" It was his Instructor's voice, the one he used when someone started to do something stupid. Noboru stopped in his tracks, startled at the tone. He'd never heard his brother sound like that. "Now come back here and sit down. Stop acting like a child. You don't have to like what I'm going to say but you do have to listen." Noboru stood there for a moment and then his back slumped and he walked back to the rest, each step seeming to be dragged out of molasses. Finally he dropped bonelessly to the grass near his brothers.
"I'm sorry, but I know this isn't going to be easy on either of you. I've decided its time I made you understand what I'm doing and why. Yes, Noboru, you're correct. The odds are good that I'll die doing what I'm doing, its something all of us at the garrison have to deal with. Some of us more than others. But I want you to think back to 9 years ago. The only thing anyone had against Father was that he was a member of the Senate. Terrorists were trying to disrupt the government; whether to cause internal problems or just to disrupt things so badly that they could take over parts of the cities or maybe even just to get a chance for extra looting; we don't know. And because of that, they set off car bombs, one of which killed father and left us orphans." Haruka paused for a moment to take a drink of the bottle of water left over from lunch.
"The basic definition of my job is to keep terrorists from disrupting the government and its procedures. But that's not why I'm doing my job today. If it was today's security; if it was one of the teams I'm in charge of now, that bomb would never have been in the car. It would never have gone off and Father would still be alive. I don't do this job because I want to keep the nation safe. I do it because I don't ever again want to see 6 and 9 year old children orphaned. I don't want any more kids crying by graves because their parents have been taken from them by terrorists. I waited until you boys were in your teens before I went into the command track. I know that if I die it won't be easy on you, but you're old enough now to start living your own life. You can continue on and become good men without me."
Up until now he hadn't really looked at either of them, but the quiet sob from Noboru didn't surprise him. What did surprise him was the tear rolling down Susumu's face. "Look, I don't plan on dying. And" here he managed to smile, "Iwase definitely doesn't plan on allowing me to die. I'm also not happy that I'm missing out on being with you while you finish school, find the ones you love and move on to being men. I love both of you and I miss you all the time. It's just; its hard to say it, but I feel you can stand on your own now and there are so many children out there who can't. I have to help protect them as much as I can. Its my job and what I was meant to do with my life."
Haruka raised up to a straightened kneeling position and held his arms out to his brothers. Each one came over and knelt to be gathered into his arms. "I love you both, I'm proud of you both. Uncle is doing a fine job of watching over you without me being here. I wish I could be with you, Noboru. I wish you didn't hate my job, but I have to do this no matter how dangerous it is. Do you know that in the year and a half that I've been the Instructor at the garrison we've stopped 5 different attacks on government meetings and officials. We're saving lives, and I'm proud to have even a small part in all of it. " He fell quiet, finally done talking. All of them stayed together in a family hug, drawing strength from each other.
Later, as they started back to the car, the boys started teasing him about picking up Noboru the night before. Because he still wanted to tire himself out (not, of course because of any sibling rivalry remaining from childhood) Haruka led them all on a run up and down the slopes, crisscrossing the trail back to the car for over an hour before dropping to the ground and doing push ups. By the time he finished, Susumu was staggering as he tried to walk and Noboru was sweating heavily. Haruka walked over and propped a shoulder under Susumu. "Susu-chan, you really should get more exercise. Nobo-chan, if you think this is bad you should see our Annual Communication Game of Tag (Vol 3, Ch 6.1). It lasts all day and takes place inside the entire garrison." Noboru stared at him and then realized that Haruka was just lightly sweating.
Haruka was not surprised when they walked up to the car to spot a familiar looking form looking around at the map station. As the boys walked up the the car and began putting items in the car, he saw the figure raise his hand and make the "safe" sign. He knew there were watchers on the family, and it made him feel good to know there had been watchers on the car while they were gone. Yes, he was right. In today's world, with his team on guard, there would never have been a car bomb. But what Haruka did not know was that he was really not as safe as he thought.