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Edward POV

I woke the next morning alone in Jasper's bed. I laid there for a few moments and smiled as I remembered last night. I was a little frightened when Jasper carried me off to his room. But, then he asked me to promise him that I'd say something if we went too far. Made me like him all that much more. The orgasm that we had was mind-blowing, and we were just dry-humping. Then there was the shower. Sharing a shower with Jasper was . . . amazing. I didn't realize he could be so gentle. Sure, he rubbed our shoulders, and backs, and was tender to the both of us, but the shower, that was something else entirely.

And I enjoyed every minute of it.

I rolled out of bed and had to roll the pajama pants I was wearing once again. Three times, about three inches per roll. Fuck, these had to be long on Jasper. While I was in the midst of rolling up the pant legs, I smelled the coffee coming from his kitchen and allowed my nose to follow the scent while my bare feet padded across the hardwood floor on the way there.

When I stepped in, I saw Jasper leaning over the island. He was bent over the waist with his head pressing into the -- what must have been cold -- counter top, his hands over his face while he silently sobbed. The sobs were vicious, body-wracking sobs, almost knocking him off his feet. I quietly stepped up behind him and ran my hand through his hair at the nape of his neck. Jasper shot up in a second and spun around to face me. His eyes were slightly wild and panicked. His hand shot out, grabbed my arm, and yanked it behind my back so high I was forced to the ground.

"JASPER!" I bellowed out in pain. He immediately dropped my arm and dropped down to his knees behind me.

What the hell just happened?

He pulled my back up against his chest and rubbed my shoulder with his hand soothingly, delicately. A whisper of a touch.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," he breathed out in apology.

I pulled his other hand from my shoulder, kissing his palm. "I've never seen you react like that. Are you okay?" I asked him, concern and worry written all over my face.

He didn't answer.

I spun around in his arms and noticed his eyes were blank now. Like he was lost in the past. Remembering something that he probably wished he couldn't remember.

"Jasper?" I asked. The worry on my face seeped into my voice. "Jasper?" I repeated, a little louder.

Now I was becoming a little scared. I have never seen him act like this, nor have I seen him with the kind of look he has in his eyes like in this moment. My being afraid was slowly but surely bordering on terror; it was sitting on the cusp. I grabbed his shoulders in my hands and gave him a small shake. His eyes became wild again, and before I knew what had happened, he had already shoved me down onto the kitchen floor, my knees still bent, with his arm over my throat in a choking gesture.

His eyes soon registered in understanding what he had just done, and he stood up quickly, leaving me on the cold tiled floor and walked from the room. I quickly scrambled to stand myself up and ran after him.

"Jasper," I called his name calmly. He just grunted and continued up the stairs, collapsing at the top where I could hear him crying even harder.

Rushing up the stairs two at a time, I knelt down in front of him and smoothed out his hair, then pulled his head down so he was resting in my lap.

I shushed him and hummed the same song from last night.

After what must have been hours, but was more likely only several long minutes, his body calmed down and his crying had stopped completely.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Jasper took the chance to look up at me, his eyes apologetic. "I am so sorry," he said, "I can't even begin to tell you just how sorry I am for . . . doing what I did . . . in the kitchen . . . to you," he admitted shamefully.

I didn't care about that now. I knew he didn't mean it. I knew there was something wrong, and I could only hope and pray that he could trust me enough to talk to me some day.

So, putting aside whatever happened in the kitchen, I just sat there with Jasper's head in my lap and soothed him, running my fingers through his blonde hair.

"It's okay, Jasper . . . shhh," I cooed.

He shook his head adamantly.

"No, it's not 'okay'." he bit back dryly, then lifted his head up from its position in my lap. I felt a quick pang in my chest, but ignored it. Now was not the time to make this about me. This was about Jasper, and about whatever it was that he wasn't telling me. He was my first priority.

"Yes it is. I scared you, it's understandable. I should have said someth---" I started to say before I cut myself off as I watched as he opened his mouth to say something, his eyes searching mine for whatever, I didn't know. I can only assume that he found what he was looking for because he reached his hand out then, slowly, probably waiting for me to pull away from him.

When I didn't, his palm slid to my cheek, cupping it gently, and sighed. "I get these . . . flashbacks. From my previous assignment. When I heard you come into the kitchen, I tried to stand up, but one . . . flashback, in particular, just . . . grabbed me." he paused here, then asked, "I don't know if you noticed my eyes . . ." his voice trailed off uncertainly. I nodded my head. That look had scared the shit out of me, but I didn't want to admit that out loud. "When I get a look like that, just . . . wait until I come back. Okay? Don't touch me, don't talk to me, nothing."

I nodded my head once again, agreeing to what he had just asked of me.

He sighed, again. Then, "Okay."

We sat there at the top of his stairs for I don't how long, just staring at any and everything but each other, small, innocent touches here and there.

Then he sighed for what must have been the umpteenth time and looked back up at me to say, "I'm sorry," again, before he pulled everything away from me; his eyes, his hand, his trust. His emotions. He was pushing me away and closing in on himself, and I didn't like it.

Not one damn bit.

I cupped his face in between both of my hands forcing him to meet my gaze.

"Jasper, what on earth do you have to be sorry about?" I asked.

He winced, as if remembering something else, his eyes closed.

When Jasper opened his eyes, they were trained on the floor beneath us, instead of back on me. Slowly, he opened his mouth to explain, "I lost the last guy I was with because of . . . it. We started dating before my last assignment . . . and when I returned . . ." he blew out a breath of air before picking up where he left off, "I . . . was a mess. I had flashbacks at least ten times a day. I, uh, ended up popping his shoulder . . . and he ran. With help, I've been able to work through them . . . but we can't find all of my triggers," he whispered, his eyes moving up only to fall on my chest.

We just continued to sit there, and knowing that he must have more to say, I waited patiently for him to continue on. "I had a nightmare last night. I was so fucking scared that the guy was going to get you. And I . . . I dreamed he did. When I woke up, you were already rolled over and off me, so I didn't want to wake you. So instead, I got up and went down to the kitchen. I've been having them every hour ever since. That was the closest I've ever had them. I think it's because I hurt you, your call shocked me from what was happening. I'm sorry."

Now it was my turn to release a sigh.

"Jasper, baby . . . it's okay. It did hurt and I was scared, but it's okay. I didn't know about your past assignment, but I saw what happened to my dad's best friend. He refused help, and what I saw when I found him . . ." I trailed off and shuddered, it was that grusesome. "It'll forever be ingrained behind my eyelids whenever I close my eyes. Even when it's just a blink. But, with that aside, I am so proud of you for getting the help that you needed. You just don't completely heal from something like that. I know that. And it's okay. I care about you, and I want to know everything about you. The good and the bad. I want to experience it all with you. I know from what I learned from my mother, that that's what a real relationship is; experiencing everything together. Being there for each other. I'm not going to go running for the hills just because of something that hurt you or happened to you in the past, something that left you a little broken. That isn't caring about a person."

Having said all of that, I pulled him back to me as we continued sitting at the top of the stairs, his head back in my lap, and me humming to him. Eventually he fell asleep, muttered and stirred a bit, but didn't wake. I heard his cell phone go off some time later, and then mine. Slipping out from under his head, I went to retrieve my own cell phone, my eyebrows scrunching when I looked at the caller ID.

It was Bella.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Edward," she breathed in a sigh of relief. "I have been trying to get a hold of the both of you for quite awhile."

"Sorry. Had a . . . uh, situation . . . to deal with." I cringed at how obvious my voice sounded. Of course, Bella picked up on it.

"What happened?" she demanded.

I sighed and began to relay a little of what happened this morning, minus the nightmares and the flashbacks. It wasn't my place to tell her those things. "Jasper was a little upset this morning. I scared him, he incapacitated me, and then we dealt with it." It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't really a lie, either.

"How did you scare him? The man has hypersensitive hearing, I swear," asked Bella.

"Sorry, Bells, that's his story to tell, not mine."

"Alright, well, we'll need you into the base by 0300 for debriefings and paperwork. Don't worry about a uiform, just dress casual."

"Thanks, Bella." I said before flipping my phone shut.

I placed it back on the table just as Jasper walked into the room, rubbing his eyes. So adorable, I thought to myself with a small smile.

"Hi, baby," I whispered.

He smiled a little as he looked at me and whispered back a quiet, "Hi."

"That was Bella. They need us in by 0300, and we can dress cas."

Jasper nodded and pulled me into his arms for a kiss.

"How 'bout we take a nap, then go?" I suggested.

He nodded again, already half asleep standing up. I led him over to the bed and got him to lay down before I crawled in beside him and cuddled up into his side. I figured he got very little sleep last night, so I began to hum the same song once again, making sure he was completely asleep before I allowed myself to drift off into dreamland, dreaming of whatever my mind conjured up for me.

This was the most peaceful sleep I'd had in . . . I don't even remember how long.

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Hi Everyone!

Ok once again I've gotta thank my beta Princess HarleyHeaven. There will never be enough words or gestures to how much I heart her! You're amazing skills have helped my chapters and stories to be the best they can be.

Hi, so Jasper's past will come into play a little more later. HEHE..

I have to give my beta extra praise to edit all the chapter's I've given her for the last few days!

Review plz